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TomBoyAB

Stressed and No Comfort in Sight

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Hey guys! Its TomBoyAB. I just wanted to vent for a few minutes. If you have any advice for me, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT! Anything could help at this point. I seem to be having a difficult time with handling the more stressful parts of my life at the moment. Due to having Severe Depression and Anxiety (I actually have been diagnosed with BOTH -_-), it just seems I can't escape. I live with family that just either don't understand ( the only members I've told about my AB side SWEAR its 'just a fetish'....Uggghhh....X(   ), or choose to be "rationally ignorant". Whenever I try to talk to my mom about my emotions, she just thinks I'm "being dramatic", so after a couple years of trying, I just gave up.Since I've started up with my college classes again, it just remains difficult. I've noticed that the busier I am, the happier I am. That, and I wouldn't last a week in the business field (at least in this day and age) without a college degree. So I try to get out of the house as much as possible, but since I have such a severe anxiety about driving, it's much harder for me to just up and leave if things get too stressful. Its recently gotten to the point where I don't really look forward to coming "home" anymore....:/ I've tried my coping mechanism (going in to "Little Space") when everything else for the day has been taken care of and my door is shut and locked. But it just doesn't seem like enough to truly help as much as it used to. Its gotten to the point where my physical health is being affected. Well, I guess that's about it. Thanks to anyone who bothered reading this far! Any advice is much appreciated! Have a great one guys!

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I'm sorry to hear about your problems. :( I've never been put under that kind of strain. I mean, I have my fair share of problems, but I seem to be dealing with them fairly well at the moment.

I'm hesitant to offer any kind of advice since I don't know you very well. But if you ever wanna talk to someone about all this please shoot me a message. I've had some experience dealing with people who have anxiety or depression. I even talked one guy out of killing himself. I have this strange knack for helping people. So if there's anything I can ever do I'm here for you, buddy. :)

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Hey Wannatripbaby,

I REALLY appreciate you reaching out to me! Especially this FAST! :3 I honestly believe that I would benefit from getting a therapist of some kind, but I don't know. You see, I'm not feeling like this 24/7 (Thank Goodness!) but when I do feel like this, it can be pretty hard:/ I was raised with parents that DID LOVE ME, but didn't really give me any of the mushy, cuddly kind of love that kids need growing up. The best example I can give anyone to try to comprehend is something like this: 

Back when I was 4 or 5 and my friends and I would be playing at the park. We would be running and playing, when one of my friends falls down and scrapes their knee or elbow. Now being so young and it causing physical pain, the first reaction is to cry and yell for your parents. When my friends did that after they fell and got hurt, their mothers would be running like crazy, cooing and coddling them, putting a bandaid on their scratches and "kissing their boo- boos better". After another hug and kiss, we'd get back to playing. When I fell and got hurt as a kid, before my lip barely even started trembling, my mother would be walking up to me saying "don't you start cry. You're okay. Walk it off." while grabbing me by the arm and picking me up off the ground. After I stopped crying to the point where you at least couldn't hear me, she'd walk away. And I love my dad, but he  basically just had the same parenting method as my mother, just "less intense". He wasn't really the affectionate or hugging type:/

10 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I'm sorry to hear about your problems. :( I've never been put under that kind of strain. I mean, I have my fair share of problems, but I seem to be dealing with them fairly well at the moment.

I'm hesitant to offer any kind of advice since I don't know you very well. But if you ever wanna talk to someone about all this please shoot me a message. I've had some experience dealing with people who have anxiety or depression. I even talked one guy out of killing himself. I have this strange knack for helping people. So if there's anything I can ever do I'm here for you, buddy. :)

 

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I get the whole "I'm not always like this" thing. I'm the same way. I'm happy & content most of the time. But there are times when I just feel this dark presence decend on me & I just sorta hold up in my room or play video games until it blows over.

As for my parents, they too really love me & have never done anything to hurt me. But they work a lot. they would leave me & my brothers at home by ourselves most of the time as soon as we were old enough. (We were all homeschooled btw.) To the point were we pretty much never saw them until evening. To this day it's weird having them around the house on the rare days they're not working.

I guess it feels like we kinda had to raise ourselves growing up. That's not necessarily a bad thing, I suppose. I certainly can't complain about the results. And I'm not about to start bashing my parents because they had to work their asses off just to provide for us. I'm just saying on the scale of Absent parent to helicopter mom my parents definitely leaned more towards the former than the latter.

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4 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I get the whole "I'm not always like this" thing. I'm the same way. I'm happy & content most of the time. But there are times when I just feel this dark presence decend on me & I just sorta hold up in my room or play video games until it blows over.

As for my parents, they too really love me & have never done anything to hurt me. But they work a lot. they would leave me & my brothers at home by ourselves most of the time as soon as we were old enough. (We were all homeschooled btw.) To the point were we pretty much never saw them until evening. To this day it's weird having them around the house on the rare days they're not working.

I guess it feels like we kinda had to raise ourselves growing up. That's not necessarily a bad thing, I suppose. I certainly can't complain about the results. And I'm not about to start bashing my parents because they had to work their asses off just to provide for us. I'm just saying on the scale of Absent parent to helicopter mom my parents definitely leaned more towards the former than the latter.

I can DEFINITELY relate to that. My dad was really the one that worked his ass off to provide for us. The family I actually lived with started out as your classic 4 member family:Mom, Dad, Daughter (Me :3), and Son (My Older Brother). My mother was still in her "Partying phase" when I was little, so she wasn't around as much as our father was in my and my older brother's younger days. My parents got divorced when I was 3, but my mother didn't move out until I was 8 for financial reasons. When she moved out, I was basically raised (for the remainder of my childhood) by my Dad. Of course, my mother moving out before puberty hit and me not seeing her but MAYBE ONCE A MONTH afterwards, didn't exactly make the teenage years easy either:/ Lets just say.... Middle school was NOT FUN! XD.But I can also relate to parents not being around, just for different reasons. Mom was partying, Dad was ...keeping us alive...<3 

Don't get me wrong, my mom is genuinely a good person and she regrets not being there for me and my brother. I live with her and my stepdad now. 

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Tell you what I'll do: Since you're already following me I'll follow you as well. And I'll try to message you every so often just to see how you're doing. It'll give you an opening to talk about anything that's bothering you. You said you were considering getting a therapist. Think of me like an amateur therapist that you don't have to pay for & is doing this solely out of a desire to see you happy & healthy. :)

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8 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Tell you what I'll do: Since you're already following me I'll follow you as well. And I'll try to message you every so often just to see how you're doing. It'll give you an opening to talk about anything that's bothering you. You said you were considering getting a therapist. Think of me like an amateur therapist that you don't have to pay for & is doing this solely out of a desire to see you happy & healthy. :)

That's so SWEET! Thanks so much! This really means the world to me!:,) See , this is the PERFECT EXAMPLE of why I'm so incredibly happy that I gave this site a chance! Thanks again!

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12 minutes ago, TomBoyAB said:

That's so SWEET! Thanks so much! This really means the world to me!:,) See , this is the PERFECT EXAMPLE of why I'm so incredibly happy that I gave this site a chance! Thanks again!

It makes me SO happy to hear you say that! Err, well, see you say that. :) I'll do my best to try to keep in touch without pestering you too much. And once again if you ever want to talk don't feel like you have to wait for me to ask. I'm here for you 7 days a week. :)

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Awesome! Thanks again and same here! Let me know if you need an ear or shoulder too! I'm not the kind of person to leave a friend hanging!:3

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This thread feels kinda wrapped up but I did wanna pop in and just say a few things. I do wanna just echo wannatrip baby by saying that we (unfortunatley!) don't know many intimate details so what we say should be taken with a grain of salt, at the same time though there's a lot of info in that OP.

Firstly, TomBoy, if you think that you'd benefit from seeing a therapist then you totally should do your best to go see one. Every time I've made use of therapy, I've kicked myself for not going in earlier. Not to diss Wannatrip or anything =p. In addition to reaching out to folks, you could try other coping mechanisms such as journaling or meditating (I know that that sounds super "neurotypical" as the kids like to say, but my therapist recommended an app called headspace and when I use it, it seems to help? There's only so much content on it available for free, but you can just cycle through the free stuff =p).

Secondly, in my experience, being down is just a part of being up. It's all just part of the flow. When you're feeling down all you can do is your best. So, try to continue getting out and all that, and also try not to beat yourself up if you didn't get enough sunshine or if you feel extra down that day. Just drink your water, get that 15mins of sun a day, and just do your best to wait for the flow to curve back up.

I hope things get better soon!

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Hey WakkoWannaBe,

I'm sorry I didn't respond to your post earlier! I didn't see the notification in my email until about 5 minutes ago! XD 

Thank you for taking the time to type that post! It's really sweet of everyone/anyone to take time out of their day and give me advice when every one has their own things to deal with. 

I may have to try a Meditation app! That does sound like a good idea. I have an app that helps me relax that my friend showed me. Its called Relaxio. It plays soothing background noises like the ocean, a fan, crickets chirping in the night, etc. It really helps me calm down, but Meditation may help too!

And I've actually been in and out of therapy since I was 5, it wasn't "bad" at first (by "bad", I just mean I would prefer a more "emotionally intimate" relationship {you know, confiding in a friend, family member, or even possibly finding a girlfriend that would be willing to hear me out}). I've gotten this idea in my head lately that all of MY experience with therapy (not necessarily anyone else's) have basically been me showing up, crying my eyes out for an hour or so, and me leaving feeling somewhat emotionally relieved for a little while afterwards, and then the cycle just repeats itself. I feel like that I've actually gotten A LOT more out of just being here on DD, really:3. Because here, I can talk freely about the biggest one of my coping mechanisms. I can't risk telling the "Run of the Mill, By the Book" therapist about me wanting to wear diapers and suckle on a pacifier and expect them to NOT "bring me to a professional" (even though we AREN'T HURTING ANYONE -_-)

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