New here and need help

[Jonnyw]

Hi all,

My name is Jonny, I have been into nappies/diapers and age play since my early teens. I'm now 28. I have tried to not do it and ignore that part of my mind before now, I managed around 2 years of not doing anything. However this is something i feel i can't ingnore and also I don't want to. The thing that is troubling me at the moment is that I want to tell my fiancee about this but I have no idea how to approach the subject. I know her views on the subject thanks to a documentry on channel 4 a few years ago. Her words were 'weird, wrong and discusting'. I feel that she doesn't fully understand why people may have these likes and desires. My question to everyone on this site is do you have any advice on how to tell her? Shoud I not tell her and carry this secret? or should I tell her and risk losing her? Has anybody on here told their partner about this and if so how did it go? did it end well or did it all just simply end? Please help me as i have no idea what to do with this!

Thanks,

Jonny

[phl655]

Hi JonnyW

[Jonnyw]

Thanks, Not really sure how i first got into it, I was very interested in sex from a young age, 9 or 10 I think, so i started looking for anythng to do with sex and all the different sexual interests out there, I think there is very little I haven't 'enjoyed' watching. I started seeing videos of people peeing there pants or the bed for sexual pleasure, I tried it and loved it, but obviusly it makes a mess! Then I followed likns from those sites to sites of people wetting diapers and that felt even better! since then I've been into it and had to try and have a wet wank at least once a month to keep myself calm and collected. How did it go when you told your wife? What was her reaction like?

[Snugglebear]

There's not one single universally right answer to your question. Your going to get some members advocating telling her and some advocating not to tell her.

Some will say if she loves you she should participate while others will say she doesn't have to participate but she should at least accept your desires.

From my perspective, for whatever it's worth, I told my wife after we'd been dating but before we got engaged. It went very smoothly because she's open minded and because I made sure to present it calmly, factually and like it isn't a big deal because it truly isn't. My wife and I have integrated diapers quite well into our marriage.

If your fiancee views it as weird, wrong and disgusting you may have a harder time. The biggest thing is you need to know what you want before you talk to her. Some people want their spouse's involvement and others not so much. You need to consider your desires, her comfort level and what each of you want out of life. It's important BOTH of you are able to make an informed decision.

If you want to chat further feel free to flip my wife and I a message.

Snugglebear

[Jilly Poo]

Hi Jonny,

[Baby Brian]

For what ever reason we got into diapers it IS a part of us and most likely will not go away. Given this is a part of you, yes your wife does need to know, otherwise you are as good as lying to her.

The "how to tell" and "should I tell" question has come up a lot here. I'd suggest you spend some time using the search here, it's not the best, but you will still find plenty of advice on this matter.

[Jonnyw]

Thank you all for your help, I think I need to mull things over, I am going to tell her, this thread has made that clear to me. I now just need to think of the how and when, if anybody else has any further advice on this topic then please feel free to continue this post...feelikg a little lost at sea here so it will be most welcome.

[Snugglebear]

You may hear people suggest that you write a note to explain things. As much as I believe in "to each their own" I REALLY don't advise that route.

A note can leave your partner adrift and cause them to turn online for information. Personally I'd rather be there to explain my kink than let some random website do it when it may not be accurate of my desires but instead reflect someone else's fantasies.

Second (to me) a letter looks like you're embarrassed about the topic. Confidence can go a long way in turning a potentially difficult conversation into an easier one.

Take some time when both of you aren't in a rush and have a frank and honest conversation. Lay out the facts, be calm, be ready to answer questions and above all be open to a two way dialogue. Although the conversation will discuss diapers it is more about having an honest relationship than diaper wearing.

Best of luck.

Snugglebear and Raccoon

[Baby Brian]

You may hear people suggest that you write a note to explain things. As much as I believe in "to each their own" I REALLY don't advise that route.

A note can leave your partner adrift and cause them to turn online for information. Personally I'd rather be there to explain my kink than let some random website do it when it may not be accurate of my desires but instead reflect someone else's fantasies.

Second (to me) a letter looks like you're embarrassed about the topic. Confidence can go a long way in turning a potentially difficult conversation into an easier one.

Take some time when both of you aren't in a rush and have a frank and honest conversation. Lay out the facts, be calm, be ready to answer questions and above all be open to a two way dialogue. Although the conversation will discuss diapers it is more about having an honest relationship than diaper wearing.

Best of luck.

Snugglebear and Raccoon

Agreed- to a point. If you're not very confident yourself, or think you yourself may not get across everything you'd like to say, then by all means write a letter. However, don't just hand it to her or worse leave/mail it. Read it in front of her- personally, and be there to answer those questions.

If you think you can manage without it, then yeah it would be better to do it without. Maybe only use the letter to gather your thoughts before hand then discard it before you talk, or maybe use flash cards (seriously, there is a reason why schools encourage them). Any way though, just do what you think will be the most helpful overall but at least try be little prepared.