MommyK80 Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 Hi. I'm new here and I'd really appreciate some advice from more experienced mommies. My boyfriend and I have only been together for a few weeks. And he's already told me he's an AB, and wants me to play mommy. As an actual mother (my kids are 6 and 9) this just sounds like work. I'm supposed to he done changing diapers, reading stories, giving baths, preparing bottles, etc. He's agreed to switch sometimes and actually have our first play time planned as like a play date where we'll both be babies. But I still feel like I'll mainly be mommy. My question is what exactly do "mommies" get out of this type of play? Is there any chance that someday it will just "click" and I'll love it? Link to comment
Zander Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 I can't come at this from a "Mommy" perspective, but I'll give you what I can from a Daddy one. Link to comment
MommyK80 Posted December 30, 2013 Author Share Posted December 30, 2013 We don't have any problem communicating. We've both made our needs and wants very clear. I've shared my concerns with him and he understands, it's me that's pushing myself to be comfortable with the mommy role. I'm just unsure where my comfort level is and that's stressing me out a bit. Thank you for the excellent advice! I was looking for some reassurance that we're on the right path to making this work for both of us, and after reading that and talking to him again, I really think we are. Link to comment
Fulldiaper Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I also can't comment as a mommy, but I can tell you that every successful adoption by a female that I've been involved in involved communication and experimentation to find each other's comfort level. If you are not comfortable with a certain situation, express this to your partner and proceed with caution so as not to scare you off from your partners desires. My suggestion is that you find something that excites or you enjoy and expand on that. Link to comment
MommyK80 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 Thanks... That's pretty much what we're doing, working with what interests both of us and going from there. I'm still nervous about being a mommy, but he agreed to try the daddy role first, with the idea that he'll be giving what he would want from me. I just hope it helps my anxiety! Link to comment
Guest diaperboykcmo Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 mommyK80, you said he's going to try the daddy role, so that means you're going to be the baby Link to comment
MommyK80 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 Yeah the idea is that I can learn from him and be more prepared to play mommy. I can't say it'll ease my anxiety, but it's worth a try, right? Or are we crazy? Link to comment
Guest diaperboykcmo Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Do you have any desire to be a baby? Link to comment
littleJaina Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Well, I'm not sure if I'm the person you really want to hear from, because I'll be honest that I have a really hard time in the traditional AB "Mommy" role. 1 Link to comment
MommyK80 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Share Posted January 12, 2014 I've tried out some "baby" things, like the paci and bottle, and liked it. I actually loved the paci so much he gave me one and I use it whenever I'm alone, when my kids are asleep. I'm not even freaked out about trying diapers, which is my big deal with playing mommy. I don't want to change diapers. But, Jaina, that's an interesting way of looking at it, and I'll try to keep that in mind. Thank you for that! As far as being called "mommy" I don't really mind. We talked about the babysitter thing but I don't really feel comfortable in a teen role. The way you said it made it sound great, but I have no desire to regress to that age. So I am actually ok with the title "mommy" just not really with all the responsibilities. Lol. I know, I'm a bad mommy. That's where my stress comes in, if I'm going to do this, I want to be perfect. I'd hate to ruin something he finds so much joy in. 1 Link to comment
Guest diaperboykcmo Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 It kinda sounds like you prefer being the baby Link to comment
MommyK80 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 Right? Lol i just made up something quick so I could get on the site. I was a little stressed out at the time and didn't think it through. Link to comment
Guest diaperboykcmo Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 It's all good , now quit the silly mommy thing, you're a baby just like me.. LOL Link to comment
MommyK80 Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 Unfortunately I can't really ask my bf to play daddy unless I can play mommy. Kinda unfair.... Right? Idk we were planning on doing this today but he's sick and I'm pmsing lol so I guess it'll have to wait until next week. That reminds me though, can I change my name? Link to comment
Guest diaperboykcmo Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Either go to your profile, see if you can, Link to comment
Gennie Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Wouldn't it be nice to have someone explain all of this to you, to gain an understanding from someone who is understanding of what you're going through right now, and actually has some answers for you? Link to comment
Guest monksmommy Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 i have been a mommy to my best friend for a year. i love being his mommy. i was brought into the baby world in an odd way but i love it. i didn't think that i would. i had seen the show "tabboo" about a guy that liked being babied and i thought that it was odd and didn't think that i would ever get into that. but i was so wrong. you just have to be with that one person that makes it feel right and talk about all the do's and don'ts. my thing i will not do is messy diapers. wet i can handle. there are times that we don't get to be together in our special way that i feel that i have cheated him out of his baby time. there have been some times that i want to baby him but we have gotten out of habit that it is hard to baby him and it makes me feel bad. i just hope that you enjoy being with him and if you need anything, u can email me here and i will try to get back to you asap. GOOD LUCK!!!! Link to comment
MommyK80 Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 Thanks diaperboy, I tried going through my profile already, didn't see any options to change the name :/ Garyandjenny, I want to read it! My bf actually has it on his computer, unfortunately, I don't get to spend a lot of time at his place. Monksmommy, I saw that Taboo as well, I love that show! I think you're right about finding the one person who makes it feel right. If any other man had brought this to me, I probably wouldn't have been as receptive. I appreciate you sharing and offering to help! Thank you all! Link to comment
Repaid1 Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 PM me Directly with a change name request. Think it out first this time I normally won't do name changes for new members. Link to comment
MommyK80 Posted January 16, 2014 Author Share Posted January 16, 2014 Haha thanks I appreciate that! Link to comment
MommyK80 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 I have a new issue and since I don't know where else to post it, and the history in this topic is relevant, I'm updating and hoping someone reads it. So last week the bf and I were having a rather intense conversation, and I could tell he needed serious comforting, and offered to rock him. The mommy thing clicked for me. At least I feel like I finally "get it." It was very intense for me and I was excited to really start persuing this! Until, over the weekend, he told me that he understands now that it's stressful for me and he doesn't want me to be his mommy anymore. He likes it more when we're both babies. (He also played daddy for me one day and I tried my first diaper! He said he enjoyed that a lot, I know he did, and so did I!)Talk about not being on the same page. I can't seem to get through to him that the only thing now is my issue with diapering him, and if he'd be patient with me, I'm sure I'll eventually get there. It's just going to take some getting used to. It seems to be so all or nothing with him. I don't understand his mindset of giving up on the whole thing based on one detail. I don't mind him wearing it, wetting it, changing in front of me or anything else he does. I'm so frustrated. I guess I don't have a question, I just don't have anyone to talk to about this. Link to comment
Guest diaperboykcmo Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Check your private messages please... Link to comment
mommastephanie Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Hi there..Like you, I'm a new momma to the AB world as well. My sweet baby boy calls me Momma. I'm ok with that, because all my children are grown and out of the house. I was kinda weirded out by the thought of the pacifers and/or bottles, but reading your post that you've experimented... I think given the opportunity I will do just that.. Thanks for posting and broadening my horizons!! Link to comment
MommyK80 Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 Mommastephanie, I'm glad you got something out of my ranting, even if it wasn't my intention! I've just always tried to be open minded. Link to comment
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