My boyfriend is a DL

[greeneyes22]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. The second year into our relationship he came out about being a DL. I had never before heard of this and had never myself fantasized about diapers. I didnt know how to respond or act because I was surprised. I then wasnt ready to talk about it and needed time to think about it. It wasnt until our 3rd year into our relationship that I finally opened up and allowed him to wear diapers. I didnt just allow him to. I feel I played the best part of a mommy role that I knew how. I tried to give him as best an experience as possible. It was bed time so I bathed him, powdered him and put the diaper on him. I allowed him to wear it for as long as he felt he needed then when he was ready we had intercourse. He got a lot of sexual desire from the experience. I have tried to open up more and wear a diaper for him. I did once and he asked me to wet it so I did. The experience was not for me. It did not make me feel comfortable and I would not want to repeat it. Though I don't mind him wearing diapers I do not want him to soil them. I dont want to have to clean them. A grown mans feces is gross to me and I don't feel I should have to clean that up unless medically necessary. I love him and I want to make the relationship work so I have branched out online and ready many articles on DL and ABs and how to be a good care taker. I have tried to talk to him openly but he feels that he cant truly open up to me for fear that I judge him. From what I have seen online it is hard for some men to find a "mommy" that most women aren't very open. Honestly I really would rather him be the dominant one. I more so enjoy the male being the leader in my sexual fantasies. Here lately I feel like my boyfriend brings up wanting to wear a diaper more and more. I feel as though maybe its becoming an obsession because I wont let him soil them. I dont want him to seek out attention from other women because I am not satisfying him. I do know that he is already looking at diaper porn involving women. I tried tonight to have an open conversation and try to find out what his limitations are, what he is exactly looking for from this persona, and if he will truly be satisfied if I do not go through with letting him mess then clean his stooled diaper. He said that its fine but the tone in his voice said otherwise. I asked him why he is so scared to tell me whats going on and he said its because he feels I judge him. With more investigation he told me that he had two exgirlfriends that went along with his fantasy no questions asked. I dont understand how they were so submissive with no questions where as i have so many. It makes me feel guilty. But I just dont have the same fantasy. I try to do as much as I can. I just dont want to do anything I am not comfortable with and then regret it and it ruin our relationship. anyone have any advice on what I could do?

[minachan16]

Your relationship sounds like it had the same progression my relationship with my daddy went, just with the genders flipped, but its a lot of the same issues. When he gave me the go-ahead that he would start putting me in diapers, I took advantage of this like it sounds your boyfriend is. This was because he was the first and still only person that ever did this for me and that I've ever trusted to do this for me since becoming of age. Now I can't speak for why your boyfriend is becoming so addicted to diaper play, since he says he had two girlfriends that did this for him, messy diapers included, no questions asked, but I really don't buy it. Where are these magically accepting ex-girlfriends and why did they break up if they had absolutely no problem with indulging his fantasies? But that's another issue, and there's more here it seems than calling your boyfriend out on his BS.

[JBonn]

Perhaps not what you want to hear, but from what you're stating, it sounds like you two are not that compatible.

[Bettypooh]

You can indulge him as far as you're comfortable with then let him take care of whatever he wants to do afterwards. So if he wants to poop, then let him- but he will have to change himself and clean up after that without any involvement from you. So long as he understands that, then it may be a workable way to deal with it As far as him being less passive, well that can depend on whether he has that in him and is just not showing it, or whether it's his true self you're seeing now. A lot of times when you have something like being ABDL in you, you go through cycles of wanting to go further towards your fantasies, and when they are fulfilled you get back to your normal life until the cycle begins again If you can't attain that fantasy, you kind of get stuck there until you can, or until you can find an alternative, or until it fades away which can take quite some time Everyone is different so these generalities may or may not help here.

[Guest monksmommy]

i too have issues with changing a messy diaper. my best friend is my baby and he messy in them and i make him clean up. he knows that i can't clean them unless it is a medical things. he has also asked me to wear too but i am not into diapers. i am happy to be his mommy and he respects that i do all that i can for him. your boyfriend should do the same. he needs to understand that you love him and that you will do all that you can within your limits. he has to learn that not all women will not just bend to his will and do everything. i too have issues with always being the dominate one. strong willed is one thing but dominate is different.

you always have to sit down and talk about everything. if you need help with anything email me. I have been a mommy for the last year but i will help all that i can!

[littleJaina]

Can you change wet diapers, just not messy diapers?