greeneyes22

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. The second year into our relationship he came out about being a DL. I had never before heard of this and had never myself fantasized about diapers. I didnt know how to respond or act because I was surprised. I then wasnt ready to talk about it and needed time to think about it. It wasnt until our 3rd year into our relationship that I finally opened up and allowed him to wear diapers. I didnt just allow him to. I feel I played the best part of a mommy role that I knew how. I tried to give him as best an experience as possible. It was bed time so I bathed him, powdered him and put the diaper on him. I allowed him to wear it for as long as he felt he needed then when he was ready we had intercourse. He got a lot of sexual desire from the experience. I have tried to open up more and wear a diaper for him. I did once and he asked me to wet it so I did. The experience was not for me. It did not make me feel comfortable and I would not want to repeat it. Though I don't mind him wearing diapers I do not want him to soil them. I dont want to have to clean them. A grown mans feces is gross to me and I don't feel I should have to clean that up unless medically necessary. I love him and I want to make the relationship work so I have branched out online and ready many articles on DL and ABs and how to be a good care taker. I have tried to talk to him openly but he feels that he cant truly open up to me for fear that I judge him. From what I have seen online it is hard for some men to find a "mommy" that most women aren't very open. Honestly I really would rather him be the dominant one. I more so enjoy the male being the leader in my sexual fantasies. Here lately I feel like my boyfriend brings up wanting to wear a diaper more and more. I feel as though maybe its becoming an obsession because I wont let him soil them. I dont want him to seek out attention from other women because I am not satisfying him. I do know that he is already looking at diaper porn involving women. I tried tonight to have an open conversation and try to find out what his limitations are, what he is exactly looking for from this persona, and if he will truly be satisfied if I do not go through with letting him mess then clean his stooled diaper. He said that its fine but the tone in his voice said otherwise. I asked him why he is so scared to tell me whats going on and he said its because he feels I judge him. With more investigation he told me that he had two exgirlfriends that went along with his fantasy no questions asked. I dont understand how they were so submissive with no questions where as i have so many. It makes me feel guilty. But I just dont have the same fantasy. I try to do as much as I can. I just dont want to do anything I am not comfortable with and then regret it and it ruin our relationship. anyone have any advice on what I could do?