Trying To Understand Myself.

[Qball1989]

I knew there there was something different about me since I was the age of 10. I have always tried to convince myself that there wasn't. I know what an adult baby is and I know what a diaper lover is. Can't really figure out which one I am.

My desire is to be loved like a child. I don't want to be himulated. I want to be held and cuddled. Like I were a kid. What do you think this is?

[Rockies Fan in Diapers]

Maybe an Adult Kid (AK) that still (maybe) wears diapers (if you're into that aspect)?

[Qball1989]

I have actually never heard of that until today. I'm trying to figure out is is that okay. It sounds so different. But it totally describes me. But I really want to have a family one day. I worry that this is going to make it so that I can't because no woman would understand why I have these desires.

[Personalias]

Plenty of people who want to be treated as infants find loving partners. Same is true for someone that wants to be treated as a child.

[diaperpt]

Welcome to the site.

Labels aren't important. Yeah, we throw them around here and discuss (and/or argue) about them. But you are who you are. Your needs are what they are.

Some of us struggle to find out why we like and need whatever it is we are looking for; others don't. Regardless, the need doesn't seem to disappear for any of us. As long as it doesn't get in the way of or dominate other things in your life that are also important to you, it doesn't matter.

If you think you're a DL, but like to cuddle, so what? DL and want a paci? Big deal. AB but don't want to play with toys or color? You're not alone.

As for wanting a family - good. Depending on how needy you are and what you expect from a partner, you may or may not have an easy time finding and keeping the right person. How and when to reveal your needs is a very frequent conversation here and I'd say the majority say tell the truth but get a relationship started; don't blurt it out on a first date. Timing is critical.

From the tone of your comments, you'll need to work on accepting your own needs before trying to explain them to a potential mate. Professional help may or may not be warranted or needed - that's for you to decide. But be who you need to be. It may be a struggle for you, but who in this world gets everything they'd like? Being happy overall is a good goal.

So again, welcome, and good luck finding who you are and need to be.

[Qball1989]

Thanks a lot you guys, This is really difficult and scary for me. It's something I kept hidden my entire life. As for seeking professional help I am looking into that already. Right now all I need is some friends and Support.

[Bettypooh]

We all need personal intimacy of the kind that suits us. Each of us needs that in our own way, and none of it is wrong I am someone who goes from one extreme to another at times. Sometimes I want what you speak of, yet other times I an fiercely independent If you know what you need then there's a pretty good chance that you will find it if you look for it Just remember that relationships work both ways and you will need to give back equally in they way they need for things to work well and long There is never anything wrong with what you feel- then only thing wrong is when you do nothing about that

[diaperpt]

As you continue to try to work this out, if you want to talk about things that might not be best out on an open forum, you can message someone here to get more private feedback. I'd be willing, but I think you need to hang around here and scope out a little bit of who's who before you jump in. For one thing, I'm an old coot and it might be easier/better for you to talk with someone closer to your age.

Meanwhile there is a lot of collective wisdom on this site and much of what you may want to discuss can be addressed on open forum. There is wisdom, but there are also some people who are, shall we say, less than tactful, perhaps not so sympathetic, and maybe even flat out nasty. Don't let them get under your skin. There's no reason for that to happen, but sometimes people will pop out with some mean comments in the name of 'speaking truth'.

Yes it is scary. I think a majority of us have kept things hidden for large parts of our lives. Some have found ways of letting some of who they are out into the public, at least among friends, some have found loving and supportive partners. Some have tried to explain their needs and have been rejected, humiliated, spurned, divorced... Hence the need to go slowly in revealing who you need to be to those close to you. But still, you need to be who you are.

Some people here reject the idea of therapy, but I've been involved for several years now. There are a bunch of issues around that and if you consider professional help, you may want to bounce that around here as well for pros and cons.

Lots of stuff to think about, so let all the comments wash over you and absorb what you think seems right for you. Go slowly but don't be surprised and above all, don't be ashamed of your needs.

[h200420012]

I asked the same question a couple of years ago...since I really didn't know if I was a DL or AB...

[Qball1989]

Yea, I know what you mean. For me it's more that in my mind I see myself being nutured and loved. Lovers like you would love a child. There is nothing wrong with that. It just means that I will have to find Simone really special. I really want to be able to give something back. I really want to be able to give something back in a relationship as well. I agree with the person who said that cant be all one way. I am small, only 4ft 7in tall and I am blind. The girls I know are all interested I. Simone tall, handsome, and stuff like that. But I beleave that god has someone for me.