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Have A Friend I've Been Playing With Who Is Ab/dl...


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I'm actually having fun playing mommy for now...my issue is that I'm not sure how interested he is in an actual relationship. I like to role play and mommy/baby is fun. But I also like to be submissive, like to kiss, have sex and the more mundane relationship things like hanging out. Mostly we've just met up to "play". I'm afraid I'm getting myself into a situation where I may be interested in an actual relationship and he may not be. Or I'm just getting used.

How normal is it for AB/DL to be so shy he's not really interested in sex with a woman, but has no problem with that woman taking advantage of him sexually?

I guess I'm afraid he is not interested in me romantically but just as a mommy, because I'm willing to play.

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An adult baby that like to be submissive is not that unusual. And it may be not that he isn’t interested in sex with you but he needs to be pushed in that direction. He may not be one to take control and may ever be but you can use that to your advantage. But if you like to be submissive he may not be able to take that role because most “babies” are submissive. You may want to talk it out with him and tell him just as you told us and see what he answers.

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I will try and ring in a bit here. I am not sure what your getting at in the relationship part. I guess I don't know how long you guys have known each other, as you say recently? Recently is not very long in my idea, so are you just thinking about a relationship in the future if things go right? I know that when I meet someone, I guess I do think about what could be later. So I won't say aren't you rushing things then. If however you are starting to have feelings for him, then I will say you might be pushing things a bit early.

I can tell you us AB's are extremely open to being cared for, as any baby wants attention, so do we in the same effect. However in "us" you are also dealing with a adult, and with that there are bound to be adult feelings involved. It seems he has these adult feelings with the BDSM aspect. You say he is getting his needs filled by you sexually? Are you sure about that? Perhaps you would have to elaborate on that. As if you are talking about the "mommy" role, then a big majority of AB's do not find it sexual. But at some point he may be mixing feelings and is overwhelm with what direction he actually is feeling.

I think as was mentioned above a simple heart to heart talk, a grown up one, is going to be in order. Explain you thoughts and feelings, It can be a tuff conversation, but one that will at some point need to be discussed. If you feel it is to early at this point so be it. But if you are starting to lean towards the actual relationship at this point, then sooner is better for both of you.

I will tell you AB's are a needy bunch, as such we tend to get rapped up in our own feelings and not to think of others. But as time progresses we tend to realize that we are needed and wish to give that love back. And when you get to that point understand you are going to find a true love that no other can give. The love of a adult coupled with the forever love a child gives to his "mother" figure is a extremely huge trust. It isn't going to be a easy, and everybody is different, so no one person can give you advise, unless that person is him. You might think of separating the AB side from the more adult side, when sexual contact comes into play. You need to establish boundaries. He seems to be on both levels both AB & DL at certain levels. You need to get a clear grasp on which is which and at what time they can or cannot be combined. That is going to be your stronghold and you have that ability to control. When you want your side or part ensure he understands it's a two way street. He must give you as much if not more than he receives. It's up to you two to evolve to what the others want and find the common ground that can make a relationship work and both are happy. If you both are set on making the other happy in life in all ways, then your relationship is going to be a beautiful wonderful thing. Anything less than that, then perhaps things just aren't going to be what neither of you really want. Please do not allow him to have his cake and eat it too. Best of luck to you both.

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Thank you both, yes...the "relationship" is very new. I think "friendship" is a better word for it, and even that is new and needs work and time. It's hard to explain how fun it's been playing and i want to evolve that and not ruin things by going to fast or any other number of ways to screw things up. I have talked to him a little, and want to continue to communicate.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You are indeed a bit exposed....you can use PMs both in the sense of e-mail and in chat if you like, once you trust your correspondent.

As for ideas....there are a zillion "diaper punishment" threads in "our lifestyle discussion" and possibly elsewhere on this board...at least the first few should be interesting to you.

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