Question About Meeting People Online

[Guest diaperj71]

I looked and couldn't find a recent topic on this, but my question was to those who have been online at this or related sites for a decent amount of time. After lurking these type of sites for about 8-9 years, I am finally coming out of the closet (or is it "out of the crib" for this community? LOL) regarding being a DL. I've met plenty of girls who were accepting of my fetish over the years but it seems that their interest in participating or any fascination they found with it eventually dies out over time. My latest relationship is dead after 5 years and it wasn't really to do with the fetish part.. other reasons. Still that is a lot of wasted time. I'm thinking of seeking out someone who shares similar interests in the abdl world as I have never really met someone who I didn't have to "have the diaper conversation" with so they could understand what I was into.

My question is how much success have people found in going online to seek companionship? I would guess there are some fakes out there but is it really worth the time and effort? Or do most find it easier to go a more traditional route and just hope they get lucky by chance finding someone "into it" as well or at least who will accept the lifestyle?

[choctawboi]

I meet my boyfriend 4 years ago on a pretty big lgbt youth site i was an admin on, and we've been dating for 3 years now and also live together diapers came up pretty quick because i really am dependent on them, emotionally now more than physically, but still. He's never had an issue with them (even though he pokes fun sometimes) and I've never forced then upon him either. I think i got really lucky with him, and i really do love him

I actually wrote a post about meeting others online on my blog see if it means anything to you xD

[gah!ghost]

I'm am pretty absolutely asexual. Aside from a couple weird awkward attempts to be straight in my mid teens that never really got farther than kissing I have never been in or attempted to pursue a sexual relationship with anyone. So I can't really offer any real experience on meeting people online to pursue a that kind of relationship. I can say though, that with friends, I have found that meeting people online in a lot of ways ends up being very similar to meeting them first in person. The first couple times I met people I knew online first face to face it was a bit odd, but it really only was strange for about 10 seconds. After that, it's like I've known them as long as I've known them. In one case it was a guy I had known online for over 10 years.

choctawboi: I like your blog btw, I haven't had a chance to really do much more than skim but what I have read I have liked.

[sarah_ab]

well first off to look at a 5 year relationship as 'a lot of wasted time' makes me wonder what you expect out of a relationship.... i mean even if you are just 50 years only thats and entire 10% or you time on eartch you share with just one person.... first before entering a new relationship you might want to reflect some more on all the things you got from that time with someone and the ways you have grown and changed .... you cant be with someone you love and care about for five years and not change at all.....

but to the question .... i think it is worth looking around online i met my boyfriend of over 6 years on diapermates.com .... but it didnt just happen overnight and i didnt only look online for someone.... i still met people out and about in real life... i still went on dates and such but i ended up finding 'the one' online

[thick and dry]

Met my special one on Diaperspace.com. Heard it's not around anymore, but after finding her (years ago), I never had to go back . I'm sure it makes it look easy (seeing two online success stories back-to-back in replies), but I'd like to say what I did took a bit of time, dedication, searching, rejection, rejecting, ect. I can only imagine the amount of mail she had to go through.

The reason I believe I found someone incredibly special- is because I didn't settle for the first person interested in being my AB. I had a couple short-term relationships with people who seemed great, but just weren't right for me. I had dozens and dozens of 'penpals' with potential that I realized weren't for me- usually as a person, not an AB lifestyle personality.

Aside from that, you have to be realistic of what you can and can't do in a relationship, and don't settle. People (both males and females) need to be just as stringent with selecting a mate from online dating (probably more) as in real life. Think of if you'd let that stuff stand if it was someone you were actively dating. Meet and stuff when you feel ready, be careful with how much you want to reveal at first glance, ect.

It's possible, but I believe takes more effort than the traditional route. However, I believe you have to rely on less luck or chance with hopes of them being into the same things bedroom-wise . If you put too much stock or hope into it, can be taxing on your normal life.

I'd say preference of this choice probably has to do with the type of person you are. If you're outgoing, incredibly good with meeting people in public (IE bar scene, coffee shop, blind date)- stick to it. You can 'luck out' or convert someone who loves you. If you have less of these skills,less time for that scene- these sites are worth checking out.

Just don't put all your eggs in one basket. Keep going out, try all of the avenues you can.

[choctawboi]

choctawboi: I like your blog btw, I haven't had a chance to really do much more than skim but what I have read I have liked.

Thanks!!

I meant to add something.... Don't try to enter a relationship with someone just based on the fact that you mutually like diapers. One of my friends tried that (except they were furries, not DLS) and it just..fizzled fast. I'm not trying to imply that you were going to do that, I'm just saying it now for anyone out there that might be reading this also

[Zekent]

I met an ex girlfriend of mine on a social chat type website and we lived about 8hrs away by car. After a few months of dating we ended up meeting up over the weekend and it went really really well. I never felt nervous (except maybe a few seconds when she knocked on the front door and I was walking to open it I felt like I was going to fall over myself!) and it was never awkward when we met. The only thing that kind of made me laugh a little was that I was going to sleep (and presumably have sex) with someone I technically had only met a few hours previously. Of course that wasn't the case we'd been having phone conversations and such for a while before then but for someone who doesn't do one night stands or have sex without being in a relationship it was hard to wrap my head around!

A few months after meeting for the first time we ended up moving in together. It was fast, but the money to go see each other every other weekend was exceedingly expensive and neither of us were interested in having a long distance relationship. In the end we didn't last long - our personalities weren't very compatible as it turns out but that's not something you can really tell over online conversations or even ones over the phone. But I don't regret it, I found an awesome person and had the opportunity to have her love and hold her, something I know lots of people in online relationships never get the chance to.

Overall though, I feel like if you find someone interested in YOU then they will be much more open and accepting of your kinks and such. But everything is give and take, be thankful if your partner participates or allows your ABDL side, and if they get annoyed with it then just take it down a few notches for a few months and learn something else that you both enjoy and perhaps you can come back to diapers in the future. It's all about compromise no matter if it's online or real life.

[turtlepins]

Being married for 38 amazing years I think I can add something of value to this discussion. I've worn diapers since I was 12, so when I met the love of my life I was incontinent, but not an AB, although even back then I had tendencies. We courted for three years, were engaged for a year, and married in 1974. What made our relationship special was that I was totally devoted to her, and she was totally devoted to me. It wasn't a 50-50 give and take relationship. It was 100% to 100% giving. A romantic at heart I kept the romance alive, even through three kids (all three in diapers and me made 4), through various jobs, a life-time career, and her going back to school once the kids were all in school and becoming a teacher. As the kids were getting to the end of high school and into college or the military she went back to school again to become an administrator. I supported her through it all, adored and remained devoted to her, and refused to lose my first love for her. She has done the same. A relationship that lasts is about sacrifice, about putting someone else before yourself, and doing everything you can to meet their needs. We're still in love, still steal kisses at stop lights and on bridges, hold hands, I still open the door for her, and I tell her every day that I love her, and that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. She knows that my heart belongs to her, as I know hers belongs to me. That kind of relationship is possible for anyone willing to make the necessary sacrifices. We have friends who just celebrated their 75th anniversary. All of our closest friends have been married for more than twenty-five years. Don't despair! That special someone is out there, but you have to work to win his or her heart! The work never ends!

[CDLover]

Being married for 38 amazing years I think I can add something of value to this discussion. I've worn diapers since I was 12, so when I met the love of my life I was incontinent, but not an AB, although even back then I had tendencies. We courted for three years, were engaged for a year, and married in 1974. What made our relationship special was that I was totally devoted to her, and she was totally devoted to me. It wasn't a 50-50 give and take relationship. It was 100% to 100% giving. A romantic at heart I kept the romance alive, even through three kids (all three in diapers and me made 4), through various jobs, a life-time career, and her going back to school once the kids were all in school and becoming a teacher. As the kids were getting to the end of high school and into college or the military she went back to school again to become an administrator. I supported her through it all, adored and remained devoted to her, and refused to lose my first love for her. She has done the same. A relationship that lasts is about sacrifice, about putting someone else before yourself, and doing everything you can to meet their needs. We're still in love, still steal kisses at stop lights and on bridges, hold hands, I still open the door for her, and I tell her every day that I love her, and that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. She knows that my heart belongs to her, as I know hers belongs to me. That kind of relationship is possible for anyone willing to make the necessary sacrifices. We have friends who just celebrated their 75th anniversary. All of our closest friends have been married for more than twenty-five years. Don't despair! That special someone is out there, but you have to work to win his or her heart! The work never ends!

TP - sometimes I don't get you but this time I absolutely love your post... Thank you. CDL