Feelings Lows Agains....

[babymarie123]

All i want is to be accepted for who i am.... what is soo difficult about being accepted by friends and family??? Ok yeah it was a mistake telling my family back in 2008 but.... depression works in strange ways and unfortunetly for me, i regress big time so i told thinking i would get help and support..... but still after 4 years i still haven't got what i thought i would get and some things are still being sorted even now... i've gained 3 and half qualifications, and worked for 2 years as well... and i still seem to be getting told - we dont want to accept you for Who you are! Even though i really want acceptance for being who i am.

Maybe wearing 24/7 for the past month was a bad idea but maybe it wasn't?? But all i know is when i go home tomorrow for 2 full weeks.... i'm going to want to run a mile and get the HELL out of there!! F***ing rules...... Seriously..... Rules for a 23 year old about wearing her nappies in the house - or hmmm let me think - just in my bedroom is the ONLY place in the home i can be me... REALLY!!! and then theres the Reusing!!! Forgoodness SAKE............. What do they think they are doing? making rules for me when all i want is to be ACCEPTED?? but the Rules make it even worse because i want to REBEL agianst it.... grr

Sorry for the RANT but this is getting annoying.........

babymarie

[kitty45]

hugs, I will pm you.

[Diapered Jason]

This is a common occurrence. I have seen many people here who have the same problem. The general rule of thumb is to take it easy, because acceptance will take time if at all possible. I think you should be proud of yourself for having the guts to be who you are. This is something many here, including myself, would not tell our families.

[lilJester]

yeah we all have that issue. we are all black sheep i guess. well, least i have awesome looking wool!

[sarah_ab]

My boyfriend and I are 29 years old. We live with his parents in their house. It is their house. They do not drink alcohol for religious reasons, therefore, even though we could easily buy alcohol and have it in our bedroom and have a drink now and then and they would never know, we do not.. why? Because we respect that it is their house and this is one thing they are passionate about.

Do i miss being able to have a night cap? sure. It was something I enjoyed doing after a long day. It was a stress reliever, a comfort ... But will we disrespect his parents for something we can easily do without? of course not.

It sucks you are having such a hard time. If it is that bad than why even go back there? At 23 as you said, you are an adult, and adults do not have to visit family if they don't want to, or can get a hotel room so they don't have to stay at families house.

You state you wish you could get the support you wanted when you told your family, but what exactly was this? Did you want them to run right out and buy you diapers and change you? Did you want them to be ok with you hanging out in just a diaper? What exactly did you want them to give you when you told them? If it was only acceptance, than you are looking in the wrong place. Acceptance comes from within. No matter how many people you tell, and how many people are 'ok' with it, unless you accept yourself, none of that will matter.

[Bettypooh]

There are always problems with being yourself in a society which says it's fine to be yourself unless you're different We all have parts which we have to work around or hide or contain in order to make our way through this world without adding to our problems unnecessarily

You also have to consider the 'other side of the coin'; that other people have their own wishes about what's going to happen to keep them happy As a child, someone else makes your decisions. As an adult you make your own decisions. You have to decide whether the price of doing something is worth what you will get out of it yourself If your parents want to set limits in their home they have every right to do that- it's their home, not yours. In return you are not forced to go into their home if those limits do not suit you. Perhaps a discussion can get you a better compromise and perhaps not, but once you've reached the end of compromises and there is no more ground to be gained, then you have to decide if it's suitable to you and act accordingly You can't make anyone else do or not do anything, just the same as it is in reverse. All you can do is choose among the options you have and respect that others can do this too.

Bettypooh

[babymarie123]

hmmmms that is all Very true guys.....

I suppose the reason i told them was because of having learning difficulties - my Dyspraixa was Servere when i was a child.... and i was.... well i wasn't totally physically cured by having the Brustroaking treatment when i was 7 (it was a fine brush which moved over the pressure points - to unlock pathways in my brain) It worked wonders but it left my developmental side of my brain - as the 7 year old. My mum was very erm.... well lets just say helped me with every day life and alsorts this was untill i went to a special needs boarding school 11 yrs ago .... Then she changed.... and i suppose what i am saying... is i miss the way that my mum used to treat me or look after me... i believe this is partly why i am like this. I suppose the 7 yr old who is still in my head wants mum to be like she used to be.... and the 18 month old just wants taking care off.... But i want to rebel against the rules.... mind i have written my mum a letter.... but i'm not totally sure if i will give it or not yet!

But i suppose i told them.... becuase i wanted the type of support that i had before i left for boarding school - maybe emotional support more than anything... but well i can tell that will most probably never going to happen... but I WISH IT WOULD!

I accept my self for being this way and i always have done... well apart from the naughty dl side which i dont like!

i suppose acceptance is to strong a word for what i want? I dont know, all i want is for Someone in this family of mine to Notice that i'm not the happy girl they think i am... which is the total truth - through the depressed and anxious state i've been in for the past month - it just doesn't help!

I hope this makes sense and maybe one of you guys can tell me what i should do bout it ... from this point of view if you get what i mean

babymarie

[Yuna]

I've often found that people who do not accept others for who they are, really do not accept themself. It's hard to further love others when you do not love yourself.

It sounds like your family might have a lot of growing up to do as you have obviously outpaced them in this area, even being an AB.

I wish you the best of luck!