Parents Behaving Badly

[willnotwill]

http://articles.ky3.com/2011-03-16/child-abuse_28700506

[mikejackson999]

Parents like that deserve to be treated like they treated their kids.

[waynecook52]

They deserve to go to jail.Anyone that abuse's kids belongs in jail.

[longtract]

They deserve to go to jail.Anyone that abuse's kids belongs in jail.

Totally agree. For something like this jail is enough. For even sicker people.........well I don't think I should say what they deserve.

I hope we don't get an hng in here talking about how this is cool........................

[Guest]

I hope we don't get an hng in here talking about how this is cool........................

I agree.

My drill sergeant step dad would starve me when I was 12 and was behind on my homework, and even when I was allowed to eat, I could only have top ramen, while I was forced to watch my little brother eat like a king. This wasn't a once in a while thing, it was EVERY DAY since he moved in. No wonder I'm so screwed up and I hate my family.

[DiaperPony]

During my divorce I was forced by the retard judge to take parenting classes due to the lies of my ex. During one lesson, the instructor told a supposedly educational story (from the book) about how the family got the kid to obey some house rule (don't remember what, but doesn't matter) by giving him the choice to do it then eat dinner, or not do it but not eat. I protested that withholding food as a punishment seemed overly harsh and wrong. I said that's not something I'd ever do to my kids. I was quickly scolded and shamed by the teacher and students (that's why you're in this class, you're a bad parent, etc). I am glad to see that I was 100% right: withholding food is considered child abuse. Kids do not reliably make adult decisions.. that's why they're kids for crying out loud, and why they need parents to watch out for them and correct them. Thus punishments need to be kept in proper perspective... and even better than a punishment is a correction. For example if a kid is out of control, being put in the corner might be punishment.. but it also gves them a chance to calm down and straighten themselves out. If that kid wasn't doing his homework, why not sit him at the table with nothing fun to do until his homework was done? But let him eat and sleep.

That said, some aspects of that article are aggravating. They've jumped to all sorts of conclusions without much proof (except the diapers of course). Kids get bruises all the time because they do stupid things. They are clumsy. They fight with their siblings. And I have witnessed my own kids throw themselves on the ground during tantrums, although they are a lot younger than 8. I really hate the guilty until proven innocent (and sometimes no way to do that) approach of CPS. They make the accusations and then rationalize them. I hate to know that kids get abused, but imo CPS does much more harm than good. Abuse actually rises in foster care, not to m ention future criminal behavior. The kids are already screwed up, taking them from their families without actual proof of wrongdoing just makes it even worse.

[spark]

I really hate the guilty until proven innocent (and sometimes no way to do that) approach of CPS. They make the accusations and then rationalize them. I hate to know that kids get abused, but imo CPS does much more harm than good. Abuse actually rises in foster care, not to m ention future criminal behavior. The kids are already screwed up, taking them from their families without actual proof of wrongdoing just makes it even worse.

Unfortunately CPS doesn't always do a great investigation, and will often leave children in dangerous environments- this is especially true if neglect is suspected. They will call the parents to schedule an interview, and find no suspected abuse. Once they do suspect abuse, they tend to become overbearing and their regulations actually get in the way of finding a suitable environment for children. The Foster Care situation is absolutely terrible, and I can only imagine what it is like to be in the Foster Care system. Often times the only 'family' these kids have is school staff, because the teachers have been at the school longer than any of the foster parents have. These kids also go through so many schools they have little ability to get long-term relationships with friends, or adults.

[KittenAB]

Unfortunately CPS doesn't always do a great investigation, and will often leave children in dangerous environments- this is especially true if neglect is suspected. They will call the parents to schedule an interview, and find no suspected abuse. Once they do suspect abuse, they tend to become overbearing and their regulations actually get in the way of finding a suitable environment for children. The Foster Care situation is absolutely terrible, and I can only imagine what it is like to be in the Foster Care system. Often times the only 'family' these kids have is school staff, because the teachers have been at the school longer than any of the foster parents have. These kids also go through so many schools they have little ability to get long-term relationships with friends, or adults.

CPS is the butt of a joke now, and that's all it should be. Why we continue to support them in the US is beyond me. They still don't accept psychological forms of abuse as abuse .....

[sarah_ab]

ummm yes yes cps DOES recognize emotional abuse as abuse ..... and WILL remove a child from the home if it happens .... however because it is a tricky thing to prove it has to be pretty extreme... it is much easier to prove physical abuse or neglect because there are physical signs .... it is mich harder to prove paychological abuse because how do you prove a lother calling her child fat caused that child to say have an eating disorder ... i have seen children removed for extreme cases of emotional abuse and neglect but often there is not JUST emotional abuse but there is physical abuse and/or neglect present as well

[spark]

CPS is the butt of a joke now, and that's all it should be. Why we continue to support them in the US is beyond me. They still don't accept psychological forms of abuse as abuse .....

I wouldn't go as far as to say we shouldn't have CPS. The unfortunate reality is child abuse happens all to frequently, and in some cases they are it is absolutely necessary to pull kids from situations. The problem with CPS is that the situation by itself is a complete F---- Up. Kids living with addicted parents who are either unable, or unwilling to take care of their kids (mostly unable) get moved into a house where people are 'professional' foster parents. A lot have a good heart, but these kids come with a complete set of baggage, and the older they get the less trust issues they have. In some cases kids fine families who really care about them (Michael Oher), in most they are bounced from place to place, live in group homes, and worst of all- live in world without love. It is no wonder they turn to drugs, gangs (hey you need some kind of family), or worse.

And unfortunately there aren't any easy answers. Even if somebody decides to help individual foster kids (like tutoring or mentoring), it needs to be a FULL TIME 100% commitment. These kids have had so many adults pop in and out of their lives, the last thing they need is another person who only cares about them part-time.

[KittenAB]

I wouldn't go as far as to say we shouldn't have CPS. The unfortunate reality is child abuse happens all to frequently, and in some cases they are it is absolutely necessary to pull kids from situations. The problem with CPS is that the situation by itself is a complete F---- Up. Kids living with addicted parents who are either unable, or unwilling to take care of their kids (mostly unable) get moved into a house where people are 'professional' foster parents. A lot have a good heart, but these kids come with a complete set of baggage, and the older they get the less trust issues they have. In some cases kids fine families who really care about them (Michael Oher), in most they are bounced from place to place, live in group homes, and worst of all- live in world without love. It is no wonder they turn to drugs, gangs (hey you need some kind of family), or worse.

And unfortunately there aren't any easy answers. Even if somebody decides to help individual foster kids (like tutoring or mentoring), it needs to be a FULL TIME 100% commitment. These kids have had so many adults pop in and out of their lives, the last thing they need is another person who only cares about them part-time.

I didn't say to get rid of them, though I would attest that they need to be trained better and have non-biased people working for them instead of ... well ... the morons they do have there. I have seen decent families torn apart by them, while really messed up families are left alone too often to say they are doing their job well. In addition to what you said, I should say. But we have to change society as well in order to fix the problems with CPS, but CPS should have a check in place, like real psychologists and doctors should be required to verify their findings. Sometimes they do good, but without having to be accountable for their mistakes, they often do bad.

@sarah_ab I stand corrected ... well sit corrected really, but yeah. I'm still bitter that they didn't recognize my mother abusing me is all.

[spark]

I didn't say to get rid of them, though I would attest that they need to be trained better and have non-biased people working for them instead of ... well ... the morons they do have there. I have seen decent families torn apart by them, while really messed up families are left alone too often to say they are doing their job well. In addition to what you said, I should say. But we have to change society as well in order to fix the problems with CPS, but CPS should have a check in place, like real psychologists and doctors should be required to verify their findings. Sometimes they do good, but without having to be accountable for their mistakes, they often do bad.

Si`. I am fortunate that I come from a loving family, and I can only imagine what life is like when LOVE is a foreign word in a family. Unfortunately the situation is so bad, and the answers are so complicated, even getting real psychologist and doctors to verify the findings won't solve the problem (They also make a lot of mistakes, and they work is only as good as their data).

Changing society where treating people with LOVE and respect is more valued than saving face, getting ahead, and making sure nobody gets an advantage over you may actually work.