Empty Rooms

[gah!ghost]

So far I've just pretty much doubled the content in the next chapter largely addressing the line from the first chapter "—she couldn’t shake the feeling that everything was as it should be." Which to me apparently had a lot more meaning than it actually did since I know everything about what's going on.

[gah!ghost]

Author's note

Just one chapter instead of the promised two. As mentioned above this chapter was originally very short. The original beginning was at "Fuck it". Thanks to some critique I took this chapter to better flesh out Sara and where her mind is at right now. Likewise the next chapter, which deals with Alex, I'll go through and flesh out quite a bit more in terms of description and what's going on in the character's heads. They're in a very odd situation but all of them are also a bit foggy in the mental department both in memory and cognition and I need that to come across better. I think this chapter does help a bit with that.

Chapter 5: Knowing things.

The siege at her door seemed to have stopped. It hadn’t been a constant barrage of knocks or anything but the periodic knocking and calling seemed to have gone on forever. “How long had it been since they last knocked?

[exhex]

I finally caught up with this story this morning, something I wished I had done earlier. You have an interesting concept and I'd love to see where you're going with it. It does remind me an awful lot of a mini-series that was on TV a year or two ago called Persons Unknown. I don't mean that as an insult or a comparison, its really just a testament of how many directions a story like this can go.

Anyways, looking forward to reading more.

(For those who never read it, Gerald's Game was quite possibly the worst horror novel Stephen King ever wrote - nearly 1000 pages to describe three days of a naked woman handcuffed to a bed with her dead husband on the floor nearby)

Y'know, I've never had a problem with Gerald's Game. I totally understand the hate that the book gets, but I have always had a soft spot for it. Who else could make such a dense book out of such a minimalist environment? King, that's it.

[gah!ghost]

It's inspired by a whole genre of stories that involve people waking up trapped in some sort of usually inhospitable environment. The biggest inspiration was probably this Canadian horror film named Cube. There was also this other film I watched that I cannot recall the name of that was a bit of an inspiration. I actually didn't like the movie but did like the concept. It's about a bunch of people that wake up trapped in this big mansion and when they start opening doors and windows they find there's just concrete on the other side. Oh, there's also this recent Doctor Who episode. I actually forgot it was an influence. A bunch of people, including the Doctor, are trapped in a hotel where they're sort of hunted by their nightmares. That's where I got the hotel idea, and probably where I got an idea for something that's coming up later now that I think of it.

There are no new ideas Just new ways of putting them together. I've found even when I think I created something without influence that I realize later I basically copied something existing without realizing it.

I looked up Persons Unknown. Sounds pretty awesome and it looks like it's on Netflix Instant Watch. Might have to give it a go.

Glad you like it though. Hopefully I can put a few new spins and some personal touches on this micro genre.

[diaperpt]

Banter, thanks for this new chapter. Your explanation to me before this chapter was helpful as well as the extra exposition at the beginning of this chapter.

One thing I have to remember as I read stories posted chapter at a time is that we have to have patience. While the writer is writing suspense and intrigue, the reader may see confusion. In a full book - or story - the reader can continue on to begin clarifying that confusion. Here, we have to sit with that confusion until more of the story is posted. This may well be a good thing for us!

[gah!ghost]

Writing a chapter at a time and getting feedback is great when trying to learn how to write. I really appreciate all comments negative and positive. Any feedback is useful.

[DLHOOPZ]

Im glad to see this type of story on here,its a good change from the norm.

[gah!ghost]

Thanks

Man these chapters are getting longer and longer. Last chapter was about 1600 words. This next one so far is over 3000 could get a little shorter in editing but I'm not done with re-writes yet either. Hopefully that's a good thing.

[leery]

I really like your story so far Banter, the beginning had a vibe that I only got from watching Cube and playing the beginning of Portal. The characters don't really seem to have much depth to them but then again it's probably intentional. Hopefully we'll get a better view into their stories as the plot progresses. Keep up the amazing work.

[gah!ghost]

Author's note:

This ended up being a bit shorter than recently reported because I lopped off the end of it and moved that to the next chapter. Originally the whole chapter had basically been about those last three paragraphs and in re-writing it I found the bit of Alex's story needed a bit more room before going into what's to happen next. The last paragraph also just seemed a good place for a chapter break.

I know I said this before and it didn't end up being that long, but it will probably be awhile until I get to anymore writing. I have other stuff going on in work and life that needs my attention and writing is damn time consuming. Illustration is so much faster. A picture is worth a 1000 words but no one ever tells you how much easier it is to make a picture than write 1000 words.

Chapter 6: Opening doors (metaphorically)

When Alex awoke she knew she had overslept. As soon as she opened her eyes and felt that familiar groggy weariness, she knew she had overshot her optimal amount of sleep by several hours. It often amused her that she could actually sleep long enough to go right past “rested

[gah!ghost]

I really like your story so far Banter, the beginning had a vibe that I only got from watching Cube and playing the beginning of Portal. The characters don't really seem to have much depth to them but then again it's probably intentional. Hopefully we'll get a better view into their stories as the plot progresses. Keep up the amazing work.

Glad the vibe's working. I'd like to say that the vague one dimensionality of the characters in the first few chapters is intentional and meant to evoke the character's own sense of loss of self, which is actually true. A lot of it though is just me having no idea what I am doing. I have written little pieces of things here and there and done plenty of academic writing in school but this is by far the longest most complete narrative I have ever written and I'm learning and getting more comfortable with the process as I continue. At first just being able to plot a story that made sense was important but now I'm starting to get into the characters and figure out what makes them individuals instead of just a hair cut.

[leery]

Another great chapter. Just as a thought, do you have an art gallery? Those few drawings you posted look really good.

[gah!ghost]

I'm actually a professional graphic designer and illustrator and I do have galleries on the web but like to compartmentalize my job and my other internet presence from this one. Sorry

[leery]

Of course I didn't mean to see your professional work, I can relate to that. I just wanted to know if you had a gallery within the community lol.

[gah!ghost]

I'd love to be able to share some of my other work from over the years with people here, I just can't Not just professional work but non-ABDL personal stuff. On a related note, I always wonder how people can post photos of themselves here. I guess they don't have an internet presence other than the abdl community?

I do have one other ABDL related illustration I did for an unfinished story I posted on another forum. It's done in a totally different style with black linework and halftones. I'll see if I can find it.

Found it!

[leery]

That'll be great thanks. You should consider making some more illustrations. I'm currently reading the Dark Tower series and I can't believe how a few well-placed images adds to the atmosphere of some of the more dramatic scenes. I'd say you have a pretty big advantage for your narrative as you can literally paint a scene that no amount of words can describe.

[gah!ghost]

I do plan on doing more illustrations. Just need the time to do it and need to balance illustrating and writing time consumption wise.

[gah!ghost]

Got on the other side of the not-writing-this-story-work I needed to get done and am getting back to writing. Probably won't have anything to post tonight but I do have the next chapter fully outlined and will have it up in the next day or so.

Just wanted to let anyone reading know I'm still on the horse as it where.

[Baby_Bing]

So I've just found this and read the whole thing, I really should look for finished stories because I just wanted to keep reading.

I like the angle it's coming from and I've managed to keep up with it as far as I can tell.

Interested to see where it goes. Hope disposables are used more then cloth!! Personal preference lol.

[gah!ghost]

Okay. I have been really busy but have finally had a chance to sit down and write. This isn't all of Chapter 7 but I don't know if I'll finish it tonight and I wanted to post something. So hopefully this will hold some of you guys over. So grateful to anyone who comments or just read it and finds something to like.

Chapter 7: Ghost Stories

Jamie stretched her arms and yawned theatrically, “man I am tired. I want to go to bed, or at least take a nap.

[Fulldiaper]

nice illustration and story.

[diaperpt]

Whoa! Now this is getting even MORE interesting! I think I want to go back and re-read to look for hints/clues and see if I can find anything else about what may be coming.

[gah!ghost]

I have tried to lay in clues about things, but I suck at this so they may not have come across

[gah!ghost]

Doing some more writing today, right now in fact. Hopefully have this chapter done tonight. It's going to be a long one. I have to say I have been desperate for that secret of Jamie's to come out so I could stop having to use proper names for all the dialog since everyone is a fucking girl. Now I can actually use "he said, she said" without it getting impossibly confusing.

[gah!ghost]

Still pretty busy. I'm generally going to be pretty busy so this will be slow going. I had some time this weekend to write and managed to get out the second part of Chapter 7. There was actually more I wanted to get to in this chapter but it's already quite long and I think breaking off the next bit into another chapter will be better. I hope to start on Chapter 8 here soon but I don't know how soon as I have a freelance project in my real life that's taking up a lot of my time that's not spent at my salaried job.

Hope you enjoy it and can bear with how slow it's going. I got lucky with the first chunk of writing in that I spent a couple weeks working from home every day of the week and was able to spend the time I would normally be spending on a long commute writing.

Chapter 7: Ghost Stories — Part 2

“Hey it worked!