I Want To Give This Up

[Poppy]

I know, I know.

All the theory, all the advice says that if you have a fetish and as long as it doesn't hurt anyone its perfectly okay and you should accept it and enjoy it. Well I tried, I've been seeing a therapist for ages now and she says exactly the same thing to me. I've seen pro nannies, been to fetish clubs in ab gear, got myself some nice sissy ab clothes. But i wish at the moment that this whole fucking thing could just be cut out of my life. I'd like to be all dressed up and pretty but instead all I see is an awkward ugly 31 year old male. I try shaving all over but it just turns into a disaster. I guess i had my fun as an ab and now its time to destroy this side of myself. So the question is how ? Do I stop just like that or do I give it up gradually.

At the end of the day I am an adult and I refuse to let the ab side of me exist anymore.

The person who was known as Poppy.

( But then I remember the fun I've had and just wish I could do it again )

[babykimmy25]

I know, I know.

All the theory, all the advice says that if you have a fetish and as long as it doesn't hurt anyone its perfectly okay and you should accept it and enjoy it. Well I tried, I've been seeing a therapist for ages now and she says exactly the same thing to me. I've seen pro nannies, been to fetish clubs in ab gear, got myself some nice sissy ab clothes. But i wish at the moment that this whole fucking thing could just be cut out of my life. I'd like to be all dressed up and pretty but instead all I see is an awkward ugly 31 year old male. I try shaving all over but it just turns into a disaster. I guess i had my fun as an ab and now its time to destroy this side of myself. So the question is how ? Do I stop just like that or do I give it up gradually.

At the end of the day I am an adult and I refuse to let the ab side of me exist anymore.

The person who was known as Poppy.

( But then I remember the fun I've had and just wish I could do it again )

Sorry to hear that..The only advise i can give you if you wanting to get away from it is join another hobbie..Get in to sports or cars..or if on your time you log on to daily diapers log on to poker sights or other club sights..But i can promise you you can probley go up to a year..then one day find your self back in diapers and sissy clothes..I have bad news you can't excape it it's who you are..I for one exept how you are and know that is one of your hidden pleasures..And know there is alot more to you too..I would give it a try but you might end back up on here again a year later..It's very very hard to give this up...just my 2 cents..

[babybub]

I agree with babykimmy

I for one have tried but two weeks later I go back to it.

I say you are who you are.

Enjoy

Babybub

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

You must pursue your own destiny. I agree with babykimmy25, get other interests to occupy your time because I don't believe the feelings ever go away. If you really want to stop, don't think about the good times either, it will only draw you back.

[Poppy]

Okay here goes. I posted last night in a bad mood but I think there may be something to be said for having a little break from this all. I don't wear nappies 24/7 and I have other interests so I'M going to have a break from all my fetishes (ab/sissy/spanking etc ) for a couple of weeks and see how I feel after that. I've done it before for a month and enjoyed myself better when I came back. Or I may stop completely but I'm not going to allow myself to feel guilty.

[babykimmy25]

Okay here goes. I posted last night in a bad mood but I think there may be something to be said for having a little break from this all. I don't wear nappies 24/7 and I have other interests so I'M going to have a break from all my fetishes (ab/sissy/spanking etc ) for a couple of weeks and see how I feel after that. I've done it before for a month and enjoyed myself better when I came back. Or I may stop completely but I'm not going to allow myself to feel guilty.

Hey poppy as long as your happy i hope it works out for you?? If not you still have a family with us good luck on your journey and wish you the best.

[mogumbo]

I believe what you'll find is that "giving it up" only means you go into denial (i.e. you deny yourself). This (and most fetishes) are deeply engrained in our emotional and psychological beings, especially those that were triggered early in life.

I gave up drinking soda, for example, because it was damaging my health, I never gave up liking soda.

Mo

[BabyLex]

I realize that few people are seeking unsolicted advice and analysis. I've thought a lot about what I think your situation might be, and have been somewhat hesitant in posting about it. I hope that you will understand my words are expressed with empathy and permeated with a sentiment of kindness. You're in a rough space that's probably familiar to many (including myself) and I wanted to share some thoughts with you.

I wish you the best in defining yourself. It's an admirable goal and with enough determination you can change yourself. The question is whether or not changing yourself is a good thing.

Something sparked your interest in diapers, you followed that spark and it lit the way, until you allowed your behavior to change (i.e. posting on this site, using diapers, enjoying them, etc.) The feeling you experienced when you followed those desires must have felt liberating to some extent (and apparently somewhat addicting (if I may)). Self discovery comes with a strange price which is reconciling your desires and the multiple facets of your identity with the other facets of your identity. That reconcilation process can be very difficult.

Some people reconcile conflicting facets of their persona by compartmentalizing them, while others find ways to live a single consistent life. (sometimes manifested by letting everyone know about all facets, and keeping as few secrets as possible (not to say nothing is private, but nothing is intentionally edited)). This is often seen as a more peaceful long term way of life, although the short term costs are often so high few people want to pay them. ('Coming out' to one's social circles as a member of different or conflicting social circles).

My only advice is to ask yourself 'Why do I want to give up this facet of yourself?' and if your answer involves shame or social pressures then you may want to re-examine the foundation of your self image. Trying to pretend you are something you aren't isn't going to change who you really are, nor will it erase the desire. As Tyler Durdin said "Putting feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."

Socrates was quoted with saying "Know Thyself" (he may have actually said it too!) and this has perhaps been the greatest challenge of life. The information age has helped people know they aren't alone and there are others out there who share common interests. But acquantiences from the net do not share the rest of one's life. The game of being someone different in each social circle adds overhead to one's life and sometimes the quick solution is simply is to perform emotional surgery and remove the part that complicates everything else. Then to look at that facet and consider it 'the part that makes the everything else conflicted' is only a partial representation of reality.

If you know who you are, and you know that diapers and your enjoyment of them are a part of you, but that love and desire complicates the rest of your life, you've probably lived a 'dual' (for the sake of -this- discussion) life which has brought you to this crossroads. You may be tired of living a secret life and the mental and emotional overhead of keeping it that way has caused you to want to eliminate the need for resolving this conflict (or at least the need to focus on it out of necessity).

If I've postulated correctly then, perhaps some meditation on the subject may be in order to learn more about who you are and what you really want is.

May you find a happy solution. :-)

--BabyLex

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Another interesting analysis BabyLex. I initially typed up a rather lengthy response, but I deleted most of it because I couldn't get it quite right and I was running out of time. I think you covered most of what I was trying to say, and much better I might add, just couldn't put it together myself. In the end, I thought, he is probably just on the down side of the rollercoaster ride of AB/DL. We've all been there. Finding balance and separating fantasy from real life while trying to find acceptance and a partner for life is a monumental task for all of us. We can only support each other and share what works and what doesn't. The path in life is not clear for most of us, so it's good to pause sometimes to see the path more clearly.

[Kanji]

There's always the clergy.

Give your life to a god who most likely doesn't exist, spending your days and nights wrapped up in some nonsensical book instead of the hated and often bemused diaper.

Honestly, if you want to quit I don't know why you're telling a bunch of people who constantly wear diapers. Thats like consulting your local butcher about becoming a vegan.

[abdlteddybear]

Well I don't think anyone one could tell you the best thing to do for yourself. You just have to try and determine whats more important to you in your life. Being normal or the adult baby side. I can tell you that I myself would probly never even attempt that because it's a part of my life thats far to important! But your situation may be different. If it's the part of not being accepted by your partner or friends. I say that people who really care about you will accept you for who you are or who you want to be. If you love the one your with and she does'nt like that side of you. Then maybe she really does'nt love you all that much. If she did then maybe she would be more accepting! But every one persons situation is different, so no one could give you any definite answers. You just have to look inside, and do whatever makes you the happiest! And don't worry about what others think or your appearance. Because true love will show no obstacles that can't be overcome. I wish you the best of luck with this whatever you decide. Just remember I'll always be here and I'll probly never change.

[SoCalGav]

There's always the clergy.

Give your life to a god who most likely doesn't exist, spending your days and nights wrapped up in some nonsensical book instead of the hated and often bemused diaper.

Honestly, if you want to quit I don't know why you're telling a bunch of people who constantly wear diapers. Thats like consulting your local butcher about becoming a vegan.

And we care about the theological beliefs of some random transgenderd ab/dl for what reason? If you don't have any encouragement for him, then I would recomend posting elsewhere.

Poppy, I believe we have the power to change who we are, I believe we have the power to change the way we think, and feel. If you want to quit, I recomend trying to, but its going to be like quitting an addiction. If someone is trying to quit smoking and all they think about is not smoking, they are bound to fail. So stay positive, try some type of medditation or prayer. Get a hobby and maybe even get a sponsor.

[Lil_Miss_Ruffles]

Although. like everyone else, I am human and occasionally backslide, I try to live by something I used to tell my daughter as she was growing up.

"If you have nothing good to say to somebody, say nothing at all."

Now perhaps I noticed something because of my own similarity, and I hope that I am wrong.

SoCalGav, I have read a lot of your posts over time, both here as well as in other forums, and for the most part, have always respected you. But really now, in your retaliation against Kanji, was it necessary to point out that she is transgendered?

I'm not supporting what she said, only that to me, it "appears" as though you are doing a little mud-slinging of your own. I apologize if I am wrong on this. Communication by text can be so often misinterpreted.

That just seemed to stick out to me.

Poppy, I know that this AB/DL business can be a difficult road and I can't really offer any more advice for you than those who already have, and some very good advice too.

I just sincerely hope that you will be able to come to terms with it and find a degree of happiness in acceptance of who you are.

Sincerely, best wishes and good luck.

Ruffles

[Kanji]

And we care about the theological beliefs of some random transgenderd ab/dl for what reason? If you don't have any encouragement for him, then I would recomend posting elsewhere.

Poppy, I believe we have the power to change who we are, I believe we have the power to change the way we think, and feel. If you want to quit, I recomend trying to, but its going to be like quitting an addiction. If someone is trying to quit smoking and all they think about is not smoking, they are bound to fail. So stay positive, try some type of medditation or prayer. Get a hobby and maybe even get a sponsor.

I don't know, probably why people care about stand up comics and or other such public speakers. Because while my rambling ways may seem entirely off key. They more often than not offer some truth of some sorts to the conversation. Lets say that for one instant that I was totally serious, theoretically what I would have been saying was to avert ones gaze from the base subject in order to sate the item in question. In the professional sports arena and even in many school gym classes this phenomena is often called 'Walking it off.' In which physical pain is replaced by the continuous action of walking, in order to walk through the pain, one must focus on said walking thus causing the synapses to avert from psychological innate programming.

Theological beliefs had nothing to do with my statement other than pure tongue in cheek humor. Think, the Marx brothers or Lewis Black... A cynical backward look on what I just said, a offshoot of my original base thought.

Besides who said that I have to be encouraging, where is it written that I have to be nice to everyone I meet? I understand that the rules tend to be along the basis of being respectful and tolerant... But thats about it. Sure I'll be civil, I'm not just going to write something so anti-community in every thread that it'll mark me as someone who gives grief. But I'm not going to sugar coat my shit and pass it off as cake either.

Honestly I think that its a useless endevour, sure someone can quit smoking or stop having sex, but to be honest those people tend to obsess about it even if they are successful. Sure it might not be "Hey I'd like a cigarette." Or "Damn I'd tap that like green mana."

Nerd humor aside, they tend to be more along the lines of "Smoking is wrong, I must keep smoke away from me." or "I will not be tempted by the flesh, I will maintain vigillance in my assault on human nature."

Its basically the same thing, diapers present an instinctual possibility to transcend the norm, to get a feeling that isn't easily obtained by any other mean. It doesn't matter what is derived from it, just that it happens to be something worthwhile to the baser instincts.

But whatever, if you want to go for it, then go for it. Don't tell us about it, as I said I wouldn't consult my butcher about converting to veganism. It might not be the best allusion to the idea, but it works well enough for what I'm trying to get across.

By the way, I find it funny that you mentioned transgender in your oh so deplorable poke at my manifestation of fun. Cute, but not necissarily worhthwhile. If you had really wanted to get at me, you could have chosen a whole string of other adjectives that would have gotten my blood boiling. I mean honestly I could have a long list of describing words that would most likely offend some other Sothern California Residents as well as you, but for the sake of being born and raised to the ripe age of thirteen in Bakersfield then moving to San Francisco for some time more, I will keep it short in just calling you a Smog Breather, and laughing at you because your traffic is so horrid that the term Gridlock actually somewhat originated in Southern California.

Now if you'll excuse me I've got some other threads to heartlessly murder, feel free to retort in the wittyest fashion that your self rightous skull sees fit, I'll be happy to have a verbal spar on your account since you feel so apt to try and amuse me with your attempt to quell my general visage.

[SoCalGav]

I think its funny that everyone automaticaly assumed I was being derogatory. Kanji I don't know why you felt the need to reinforce your "butcher/vegan" argument, I don't think anyone was even attacking that, I personally thought it was pretty good. But your methods of humor seem a bit crass, I've never thought of Lewis Black as a very good counselor. Why would you say "don't tell us about it" in a 9 paragraph response to 2 sentences you took out of context? Why would you even expect anyone to listen to you if you were not willing to listen yourself? How would that make you feel if you were in desperate need of advice? Poppy clearly wants help, not an attempt to "avert ones gaze" and if that is what you were really trying to do, then it was a weak attempt. I've never thought of common decency as "sugar coating". I recomend not trying to pass off your "shit" as educated counsel.

As for my supposed "deplorable poke"... it seems to have gotten you in an uproar so I apologize. If I wanted to insult, I could have done a google search for the latest and greatest dis. Walk it off.

[Poppy]

Hey Guys

I know I said I wasn't going to be round for a couple of weeks or so but looking at life in the light of day now I feel a lot better. I'm sure a lot of people in the ab scene go through times like I did on Friday. The thing is a couple of years ago when I had those feelings I'd either have self harmed or thrown my nappies and other stuff away. Now for want of a better word I just have a tantrum on a forum about a particular fetish which in the end is a lot healthier.

I accept the fact that I enjoy wearing nappies sometimes. Thats all there is to it really. I have other hobbies. I play bass guitar, I do a bit of photograpy. I'm within spitting distance of one of the worlds greatest capital cities and I have my own spiritual beliefs. So yes I have my ups and downs but probably no more than anyone else.

Just to put the record straight I haven't been upset or hurt or offended by anyones replies so please don't rip each other to shreds over this. I like my fetish 99% of the time. I'm working on the last 1% now but I'l get there.

Poppy

[SoCalGav]

I'm soo glad to hear that! I don't know if you are into physical fitness but recently I started lifting weights due to a mandate from a doctor (bad shoulders) and I've been feeling great physicaly and emotionaly. Some people say that it helps, and for me it did. Keep up the good work, stay positive!

[Augie7000]

I am 36 now been wearing diapers the whole time. Early on when I was teen and didn't understand the whole diaper thing I would binge and purge if you will. I would endulge in diapers and other baby stuff then through all the stuff out saying I would never do that again, well a couple of manths later I was doing it again. In fact I found by not doing the baby/diaper thing frequently I would engage in High Risk dangerous behaviors. Now I just wear pretty much every night and sometimes all day and I enjoy and accept it and I am living a happy healthier life. I know you wish you can stop but I am sorry to say your really can't.

[BoTox]

Isn't asking this group about how to stop wearing a lot like asking a crackhead how to give up the pipe?

Seriously, glad you have come to grips with this. I know it can be a real struggle and it seems like it is controlling your life.

[DJ Krazy T]

poppy,

hopefuly u wont be reading this and u figured out a way to over come this fetish. One thing, throw out all ur diapers and whatever relating to diapers, babies, etc... Have friend, wife, etc... block adult websites some computers u can block certain words such as, porn or something... if u have that option put it everything relating to this subject and have ur friend or wife change the pw. to keep u from tempting. At pharmacys and groceries u will be tempted to walk down these asiles only go for only a few thngs. Last, think about all the money u wasted on this crap, and what you coulda gotten. Good luck bro.... Obessions and fetishes are hard to get off of, but people can get off as well as drug addictions. I know people who quit smoking cigs, Quit chewing tob., even friends who quit coke and ice. U have support all around good luck bro hope u do it!

[silent_ab]

| can relate to how you are feeling cause I am feeling much the same way

it has been about 2 weeks since I wore my last diaper and to be honest

I am not missing it at all the way I did it is I just stopped wearing diapers with

the attitued that if I really wanted to stop I wouldn't miss it and if I didn't want

to stop that I would miss it right now I'm not saying that I am no longer an

adult baby but I am hoping that one day I will be able to say that for now

I am just taking it day buy day if I start again well then I know I wasn't

ready to stop. So my advice would be to try stopping for a while and see

if you miss wearing diapers and if you do then you aren't ready to stop

yet but from what you said in your post it seems that one day you will be

ready to stop.

Good Luck

Silent_ab