Last Post Wins....

[freswith]

How could you be so wrong!

[CDLover]

Frogs might win, but you were kissed by a princess and turned into a *gasp* human.

[underwhere]

It is well known that there was quite a relationship between a specific frog and a certain princess of wheels. I wonder whatever happened to that princess, and why she never bothered to kiss this frog.

Well, I suppose I could wax nostalgia forever, but I'd rather be winning.

[freswith]

No, it was left to Rani to do that.

[babykeiff]

How could you be so wrong!

[Valisia]

Frog legs never tried those. *pulls up a chair*

[babykeiff]

Frogs legs are yummy when dipped into Pâté de foie gras.... makes a lovely square meal,,,

[astrodiaper]

Astronaut food gets old real quick. That's why I installed a teleporter on my space station. People tend to look at me funny while I have a meal at Burger King in my spacesuit. (Yeah, that's me in the commercials.) so it makes me wonder how people will react as I walk away with the win, in my spacesuit.

[underwhere]

Astrodiaper, your teleporter on your space station comes in very handy. All I have to do is use it to show up, take the win, and return back to earth. The view was fantastic.

[freswith]

Such a pity you got the codes on the teleporter so subtly wrong. With your top half in New York, your bottom half in Shanghai, and the trophy reverting to its default location on my mantlepiece I have no difficulty in claiming the win.

[underwhere]

Subtly wrong? Seriously, freswith, I got it exactly right. I travel from all three directions simultaneously, and can attack frogs three times as quickly, take the trophy back, and then put myself back together. Then I raise the trophy high, shout out, "HALLELUJAH!" and run off before the vultures grab what is left of a stunned frog.

[astrodiaper]

Thanks to underwhere, I had to re-calibrate my teleporter. After some quick calculations, I teleport to snatch the trophy as he sprints by me.

[Valisia]

...

[freswith]

[underwhere]

The only person to use the word "nevermore", a very close derivation of "evermore", was Edgar Allen Poe, and as you surely know, he was talking about The Raven and made no mention of The Frog. Since you clearly neglected this piece of knowledge, I am instructing the banks to foreclose on your mantlepiece, never mind that no loan was ever taken out on it or that it was never offered as collateral for a loan. After they take your mantlepiece back, I tell them of an agreement made long ago between freswith and underwhere in which the trophy was to be given to underwhere for safekeeping in the event that the mantlepiece was taken back. I produce a document with signatures from both underwhere and freswith and tell the bank to verify the authenticity of the signatures if they so chose. They do, and as a result of that verification, both the trophy and the win are returned to underwhere evermore.

[astrodiaper]

Dammit! That's the third body double I lost this week. But have no fear, the "real" trophy is safe and in pristine condition. If freswith would have been paying attention, he would have seen me having a beer at a local tavern. Tang does get old rather old after a while. And so, I win...again. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to raid the government's discretionary fund earmarked "scandal coverup funds" to rebuild my space station before that fund dries up.

[underwhere]

Wait a minute! How do you know about that top secret fund? Only a very few people are supposed to know about that fund, and you most certainly were not on that list, astrodiaper!

Uhh, hmmmm, and anyway, that fund had been...uh.....previously raided by....oh, never mind! I win! (Don't tell freswith!)

[freswith]

Don't tell me what??

Never mind, I'm too busy with the prosecutor framing charges against underwhere for forgery.

...and winning.

Incidentally, I was over at the Tower yesterday inspecting their new BDSM exhibition, and I bumped into dear old Quoth the Raven, who has a retirement home there. He said E A Poe misquoted him about the "nevermore" bit and he wishes to disassociate himself from such a nasty neologism. Given that Quoth is a fanatical Grammar Nazi, I am happy to accept his word.)

[underwhere]

Quoth is interested in BDSM? I suppose that he had ulterior motives for having a discussion with freswith, a mere pitiful frog in the eyes of a raven, about E A Poe. freswith isn't such a quick whit after all.

Nonetheless, knowing that I will have to appear before Judge freswith, Crooked Judge of Last Post Wins, as I have once before, I resign myself with the knowledge that I will win before I am taken to the hanging gallows, and everybody knows that if you die with the win, the win dies with you. Therefore, posthumously, I will forever be the winner of Last Post Wins. Of course, if somebody wishes to come along and save me from the gallows, Heaven forbid, then this game of Last Post Wins can continue without incident. My life, and this game, are in all of your collective hands.

While I wait for the ultimate decision to occur, I content myself with the knowledge that, at least for now, I win.

[CDLover]

hee...hee.. hee...

[freswith]

Judge Freswith, upholding a long family tradition of providing the best justice that money can buy, accepts an apology backed by

[astrodiaper]

I knew about that fund because I'm an astronaut. I got it like that. So while I wait for my station to be rebuilt, I'll be designing a bullet-proof operating system to operate all my vital components such as life support, hydroponics and gaming consoles. Oh yeah, I'll be admiring my trophy too.

[underwhere]

"YOUR trophy?"

I snatch the trophy away from you, and then place the trophy into a blimp. Just for fun, I cause the blimp to go up in the air unmanned, and do not direct it to settle at any particular altitude. Eventually, of course, the air pressure will cause the entire blimp to burst, and when it does, the trophy will fall at the acceleration of gravity (9.8 meters per square second) and bop astrodiaper on the nose on the way down.

While astrodiaper is taken to the hospital to be checked out, I grab the trophy back and gallop west in search of Quoth.

[freswith]

Underwhere will be a long time searching for Quoth, who lives to the east

[underwhere]

The earth is round. Therefore, if I travel west far enough, eventually I will wind up relatively east of where I began. I hear that Quoth is a very patient raven. Surely, Quoth will wait for me.

In any event, while freswith contemplates the trophy, I take the trophy and win.