A Little Angry...

[zoe]

Like some AB/DL, when I was younger I was a bedwetter, and even a daywetter. Pretty much every night I wet the bed until I was 11 or so. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about how my parents treated me when I was younger about it. Of course, they didn't have the best methods. There were at least a couple times when my mom put me back in diapers in an attempt to embarrass me to get me to stop wetting the bed.

When I thought about it, I thought for sure I was still really young. The first I figured I was about 3 and the second time around 5 or so. My childhood memory was pretty bad and I never really blamed my parents for how they raised me. Well, I finally tried figuring out exactly how old I was when they were putting me back in diapers. Turns out the first time was when I was around 5 and the second time was between the ages of 7 to 10.

Now I'm mad for a couple reasons. First, how the hell can you put a 7 year old back in diapers and not expect to ruin his self confidence in any way? I mean, really? WTF? And that's the earliest my memory could have been. Second, I'm not just beginning to understand just how bad my childhood memory is. Most people have many memories of their childhood. I don't have many at all. So now I'm wondering just exactly what happened during my childhood.

I'm mainly wanting to vent, so thank you for that. But I also have a question. Has anybody gone to see a psychologist to bring up childhood memories? Maybe its a bad idea, but then maybe I'll understand myself better? Who knows...

Thanks for reading.

[Guest baby-jessy]

i go to a psychologist and talk about my past and for me personally nothing helps. now for you iam sure it would be different but thats all iam saying

[Bettypooh]

I did- but it didn't start that way and at that time I had not realized my interest in diapers In the end you can't blame your parents for everything you deal with now. It does affect things about you, but once you get over/around any lingering trauma that occurred back then, you realize that as an adult you can change things now which you couldn't back then I can never forgive my Dad for making me go around in wet pants when it happened away from home. I can't forgive him for what he did to my sisters. I can't forgive Mom for not doing more to help her children. There is nothing wrong in my feeling this way so long as I do not let those feelings become a problem in my life now

What I've done is make those negative emotions into positive ones- I see them as a lesson played out in TL that I have learned something from- and that has made me a better person. The shrink and therapist even went to the degree of saying that they thought I'd make an excellent parent, though I disagree with that forother reasons. I have no kids and don't want any for other reasons unrelated to this

It's not good to forget or push bad things out of your life as a method of dealing with them because that cannot work- denying them cannot make them change or disappear that kind of 'solution' may be called for on a temporary basis so that you can deal with more important things, but at some point you have to make peace with your past in order to be able to move on with your current life These things from my childhood do not burden me now. Dad is dead and Mom and I discussed this. We both understand each others reasons for how we feel and we don't go there anymore. There is no hate there, only suffering that cannot happen again,so letting it die is the best thing to do We have a life now and there is so much more good that deserves our attention.

We can't change the past but we can work on making a better life after that, and that's the real solution Use what you've learned to make your life and this world better by seeing and avoiding the mistakes you are so keenly aware of and by helping others to do the same. Find the good in the bad and embrace it- then the bad in it will become manageable and stop interfering with your life today

Bettypooh

[rusty pins]

I have to agree. Parents who use diapers as a punnishment or humiliation are nothing but child abusers! I've read many posts from such members who were treated like that when they were kids. Actually, bedwetting is often hereditary so the one's who should be punished are the parents, since they probably passed down the bedwetting genes! If you think about it, if one of your parenst was a bedwetter, then perhaps they were punishd and humiliated with diapers by their own parents and are just passing down the same behavior to you! The stupid thing is, the diaper punnishment and humiliation didn't keep them from bedwetting so why do they think it will keep their own kids from wetting the bed? DUH!

Neither does beating the crap out of the kid! All it does is ruin the kid's self esteem! I, too was a bedwetter until about age 6 and was diapered for bed every night. I was never humiliated or punnished because I wet the bed. I was always treated like any other normal kid. Back then, some kids wet the bed and it was normal to put them in a diaper. Even today there are goodnites and underjams for older kids who wet the bed. It's still a practical method of dealing with bedwetting as opposed to wet pajamas and mattresses and an uncomfortable night of sleeping in a cold wet bed for the kid. The biggest thing now is some parents are more understanding of kids who wet the bed. I think the internet has helped some, and also the Goodnites and such. A lot of parents are more educated about it and now realize that it is something that happens, thats why they have produts for older kids and teens.

Unfortunatly, there are still stupid parents who don't take the time to learn some facts about bedwetting and how many kids and teens it affects! Perhaps a kid's dad is one of those macho beer guzzling brawny bar fighters who thinks his kid is nothing but a wimp just because he wets the bed, therefor he feels he has to either beat the crap out of him every time he wets the bed or else he has to put his kid in a diaper and parade him in front of all his friends to "humiliate him out of wetting his bed!" It's like that poor 2 year old (yes, I said 2 years old) who was killed because his 20 something father beat him with his fists! Why did the dad beat him? His excuse was, "I didn't want him growing up like a wimp so I was teaching him how to fight!" True story! It's pretty scary that there are people like this in the world who are reproducing!

The problem is, what can kids do about it? The parents should be arrested for child abuse, (child abuse can be both physiocal and mental abuse) but who is the kid going to tell about it? If they tell a teacher or ask a friend's parents to help, it could cause more problems at home for the kid if no one interceeds on the kid's behalf, or if athouraties believe the parents instead of the kid! Happens all the time! Then the kid can get a worse beating and punishment! Then, say child welfare believes the kid and arrests the parents. The kid may be scared he will be placed in a foster home that might be worse than living in his own home with his own parents, even though his parents humiliate him! He decides to just keep his mouth shut and deal with the beatings and humiliation.

What's the answer? Hard to say. We've all seen news articals about a kid who was abused and child services didn't do their job, put the kid with his parents and the kid ended up dead! Then and only then does the authorities say, "This child slipped through the cracks! CPS failed this child!" Then there is a shake up and all, but it's too late! The kid is already dead! How do you solve the problem? Pass laws that make humiliation of children punnishable! Same as bullying in school! Inforce those laws with fines or jail time depending on severity. Monitor the family at least 3 times or more a week to make sure things are going properly! Sure, people say "Where are you going to get all the people to do all that?" Well, it might be one way to help ease the unemployment problem, since ther are so many well educated people out there who had good jobs working human resorces and are now looking for work! The probelm is, how is it all going to be paid for, especially when we have a partisan government who is afraid to cross their parties lines even for something that's good for the country? Some parents just don't realize that some day they will be old and in a nursing home and may need help themselves. Then they will wonder why their kids never visit or call!

[Infernus]

Using diapers as a way to humiliate you and punish you is wrong, especially if others find out.

however, getting you to wear them discreetly at night so you dont have to change the sheets everyday ?, well thats just common sense.

[D_Rainger]

I certainly sympathize because I was put back in diapers as a child and that is where my paraphilia comes from. On the other hand discussions like this often lead to a "who had the worst childhood" contest. The truth of the matter is that we can't do very much about the past particularly our upbringing. It is wrong to repress it and it is wrong to dwell on it. Let us instead champion it because that is what made us what we are today. Hopefully we are responsible, productive indivuduals who contribute to society.

-DR

[zoe]

Well, thanks for all the comments. For sure I'm not going for the "Worst Childhood Award". I wouldn't win. Heck, mainly 'cause I can't remember it! LOL. I guess I'm just at the point wanting to know why I'm the way I am. Whether it's just because of one or two childhood events, or a culmination of things. I'm not the type to talk to a psychologist anyway. I just had to vent a little. Either way, I'm moving on now, but would still love to know more about my childhood... Oh well.

[babylin]

Well, thanks for all the comments. For sure I'm not going for the "Worst Childhood Award". I wouldn't win. Heck, mainly 'cause I can't remember it! LOL. I guess I'm just at the point wanting to know why I'm the way I am. Whether it's just because of one or two childhood events, or a culmination of things. I'm not the type to talk to a psychologist anyway. I just had to vent a little. Either way, I'm moving on now, but would still love to know more about my childhood... Oh well.

As said, we can't change the past, only the way we react to it. You use a lot of energy sometimes to "not remember".

This burden can be removed by gaining self- awareness, choosing self-acceptance and then by practicing the loving art of forgiveness.

Anger just destroys yourself from within.

HAPPINESS IS WEARING COTTON DIAPERS

[rusty pins]

A friend of mine once said after I was telling him of a hard day at work, "Does your boss make you mad?" My reply was, "He's just the catalyst!" The true answer, of course is, "No. You make yourself mad by reacting to it." Babylin has a good point. The more you dwell on the negative, the more unhappy you are and the more your health can suffer. Is it hard to forgive and forget? Sure is! I can say, though, that my stress level is a lot lower after eventually leaving that job!

[curiositykilledthecat]

I didn't get put back in diapers as a kid, I got physically and verbally beaten. Not that I condone diapers as a means of punishment, that would have at least been slightly fun. Again, abuse is abuse and abuse is wrong regardless of the methodology.

[oliver d]

I never wet the bed as a kid exept once as I want to see what it felt like,diapers I ve loved since my sister was born ,I was very jealous of her and also wanted a diaper.I was never beaten but was humilated by my parents and by my teachers in front of my peers about things,diapers for me are a security blanket where I can escape to when I get stressed out about life they help me cope with proplems and things i dont want to face.Most of my childhood memories are good

[curiositykilledthecat]

so I got a negative score for condemning child abuse?

[AutieAB]

so I got a negative score for condemning child abuse?

There was another -1 somewhere up the thread, too. There's a place for +1's in this thread for good or insightful advice but there's just no place for -1's on a subject like this. If you disagree with something, disagree with it, but don't criticise people by voting them down on matters as sensitive as this

To the OP:

Have you ever actually discussed this with your mother? I once found myself in a situation where I learned some things I'd previously 'neglected to remember' about my childhood and would up quite angry with my mother. This lasted for several years before I eventually realised that the only way to get past it was to have a face-to-face. It wasn't nice, it brought scars to the surface on both sides but it did do some things for me:

1) She knows what I went through and how I felt about it.

2) I now know that there was a bit more to the situation than I was aware of. This doesn't change what happened but it does give a better perspective, which is important.

I still felt angry afterwards but it was the vital first step towards moving past it.

If talking to her is an option for you (and I understand that for some people it simply isn't for numerous reasons) then maybe it would work for you or maybe it wouldn't. Maybe it's something you should consider or maybe it isn't. It's a judgement call for you alone but it is something to at least consider.

[Yvhuce]

Something to keep in mind: Memory is not static. It changes as we age. It can also change, based on our experiences, emotions, thoughts, insights, expectations, and even our dreams. So, unless you can independently confirm stuff about your childhood, or your childhood memories are especially remarkable and you've kept revisiting them since childhood, it's more likely than not that you'll misremember your own childhood. I only remember bits and pieces of my childhood, and many of those pieces are lost in terms of year dates. I can't be certain just when most of them occurred, unless they also contain something an event that can be dated. Once a memory has been overwritten or altered, there's no way to get the proper memory back. Techniques such as hypnosis can help sharpen the focus of one's memory, but will not make you remember what really happened if you're already misremembering it. If you want to go and try a sort of memory recovery, don't tell the person what kind of memories you want to recover, as that in and of itself could result in false memories confirming your suspicions.