Abism Losing It'S Attraction ...

[Guineapigged]

I was listening to some childhood songs last night, like I often do, but instead of relaxing me I found the experience to be quite triggering and I had to stop because it made me feel so bad. I also get no comfort out of my bottles or soothers anymore. I don't want to throw everything away, because I still have the desire to regress, but at the same time I am now finding the experience to be more a case of going through the motions than pleasurable.

Why the sudden change?

[AutieAB]

Why the sudden change?

Well I don't know about you but my AB needs are cyclic. Sometimes I'm practically 100% DL, other times I'm much more in need of my little time. Outside factors play a big role, particularly stress... There's also a slight element of binge/purge. I would say it's normal for our AB urges and desires to wax and wane over time. I'm sure they'll be back

[Honu]

GPigged,

What AuntieAB says is true. Another factor is your youth. There is so much of life ahead of you and you are only just now becoming an adult. All the AB products that had given you comfort will get in the way of raising your own children. Diapers interfere with dating until you open up about them to your date and then you risk rejection.

With so many things ahead of you that either are or probably are unfriendly to AB interests, it's natural to enter a purge cycle. The thing I can assure you at my age is that this doesn't go away. I recommend making choices that promote your life goals and accomodate your AB tendencies.

Please keep us all informed on how things go for you.

[curiositykilledthecat]

What kind of triggers kiddo? Are they traumatic or just a disgusting trigger? If traumatic, then there may be some underlying issues from your adolescence.

[square_duck]

Bing and purge, binge and purge, binge and purge...and the cycle goes on...it will come and go for the rest of your life.

The secret for me has been management, playing enough to keep the binges to a minimum. and not ignoring it for 'too long'....so play when you want, before you 'NEED TO" and takle a break when you want before you HAVE to...if that makes sense.

qwack

[aleyxsis]

as square said binge and purge bing and purge !!tried it and ended up back at the same place .I have lost interest or have tried to quit. But it did come back to a point where it was fun to or the need was there !

[Guineapigged]

What kind of triggers kiddo? Are they traumatic or just a disgusting trigger? If traumatic, then there may be some underlying issues from your adolescence.

Both really. Listening to the songs gave me a very intense feeling of dread and hopelessness. I am entering into a depressive phase, though I'm not sure whether the depression is causing me to loose pleasure, or the loss of pleasure has triggered the depression.

I also get the disgust thing. "This is wrong", "This isn't normal" etc.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Both really. Listening to the songs gave me a very intense feeling of dread and hopelessness. I am entering into a depressive phase, though I'm not sure whether the depression is causing me to loose pleasure, or the loss of pleasure has triggered the depression.

I also get the disgust thing. "This is wrong", "This isn't normal" etc.

Okay, questioning if it is socially acceptable is standard amongst most ABDLS. i think we all hit that window somewhere. Every time I see myself in a diaper I have to laugh, it's just goofy and I know it. As for you kiddo, you'll have to do some soul searching in this regards and learn to come to terms with who you are. My biggest obstacle was my faith and one Sunday during service while in prayer I had a revelation that not everything different is wrong. I have accepted who I am at this stage in the game in life and learned to allow myself to have moments of happiness. I suggest you do the same. If regressing makes you happy then let it be a source of happiness, stop doubting yourself.

As for the emotional triggers, my childhood sucks thus I have moments similar to you where it can be awkward. Do you have friends you can talk to online or offline about this stuff? Making friends on here and brining several offline has made my life easier to deal with. We all have our problems and shortcomings and having someone to talk to helps tremedously. You can find my aim and YIM on my profile kiddo if you need to talk off the site at any time. Aim works on my Palm pre so you might have better luck with that.

Take care.

[LittleHanah]

This happens to me too. It always comes back...

trust me lol

[WallaWalla]

Bing and purge, binge and purge, binge and purge...and the cycle goes on...it will come and go for the rest of your life.

The secret for me has been management, playing enough to keep the binges to a minimum. and not ignoring it for 'too long'....so play when you want, before you 'NEED TO" and takle a break when you want before you HAVE to...if that makes sense.

qwack

I think this is a terribly fatalistic and self defeating way to look at it. Just because you binge and purge at one point doesn't mean that you're going to continue doing so for the rest of your life. The reason that people binge and purge to begin with is necessarily related to a sense of shame over the behavior to begin with. Unless you are using the term 'binge and purge' as synonymous with 'gaining and losing interest,' which would be erroneous.

Now, I'm not saying that the OP isn't describing something that is indeed a binge and purge cycle, as she didn't give too much information. I just don't believe that it's entirely on the right track to toss this out there so quickly. It's entirely possible to lose interest out of a great number of reasons, usually I lose interest simply from having my desires adequately indulged, and I would dare to say that I never binge or purge, even if there was a point in my life where I did.

To the OP, there is a lot to life out there, don't worry too much about growing bored with this behavior. At the same time, don't worry too much about what's normal or doing everything within your ability to push this out of your life. For better or worse, it's the hand you've been dealt and you're going to have to play it. The bright side is that people are a lot more accepting than most of the people on this website seem to give them credit for. I certainly won't make the claim that you will never face rejection on account of this, but it won't be the end of the world when you do and I think that you'll find that many more people than you had previously imagined really don't have a problem with it. Human beings all have their own garbage to deal with, and if you pose yourself as somebody who has a lot of merits worth loving, they are going to cling to that before they are going to condemn you for wearing diapers. You only live once, and I personally don't consider it worth my time here on earth to worry about what might happen if I don't go out on a limb and try to get what I want out of this life. Of course, life isn't perfect and there are consequences for this approach, but then again there are consequences to not acting too.

Just don't brood so much, let things come as they may, and everything will turn out a-okay.

[turtlepins]

I sometimes can go for weeks without needing to regress, but the desire is always there. Eventually I have to, or I go off the deep end . . . literally. It does follow a cycle, but for me the regression is always just a thought away.

[Jackiewope]

I haven't felt any need to be a baby for a while either, which is why my posts here are so sporadic these days. For me, though, the whole reason I got into AB was do help me deal with a lot of stress and depression that was going on at the time I began these behaviors (back in August). But now the cause of that stress and depression is gone, so I don't feel much need to be diapered or babied anymore. Things come and go, I guess.

There are still times I enjoy sucking on my paci and watching Sprout's Goodnight Show while cuddled up with my giant teddy, though. Just for funsies =]