spectrumshade Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 1. SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. 2. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. 3. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.. 4. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. 5. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away... 6. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. 7. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons 8. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. 9. ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. 10. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. 11. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. 12. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. 13. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. 14. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. 15. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. 16. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. 17. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. 18. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. 19. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy.... 20. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. 21. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive 3 Link to comment
TheMagicDragon Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 If I had read that ten years ago I wouldn't have had to pay for my macroecomomics course - could'a done another independant study a year earlier. Yeah, Enron analogy is spot on, except they'd be swapping cow patty derivatives. Link to comment
InD Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 I haven't seen this in years... thank you for sharing Link to comment
spectrumshade Posted April 28, 2010 Author Share Posted April 28, 2010 Just trying to get some laughs Hope it works 1 Link to comment
fluff Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 I liked all but the British one...I think we'd just complain about not having more. Link to comment
Crimson_Wolf Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 I enjoyed this imensely Link to comment
babykeiff Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Brilliant.... are you selling shares in this humor, and what would be the forcasted return on my possible investment. Could I get a Bank to finance this on an interest only loan, and then sell off the loan to another bank for a profit? Link to comment
Horndog Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 The OP is not posting original content. 1 Link to comment
WallaWalla Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 The British one should involve something about installing cameras in your barn. Link to comment
Yvhuce Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Reality: You don't want to have 2 cows because they're stupid, annoying, and will crap all over eachother and get tangled up in the barbed wire fence if you leave them be for too long. I hate cattle... And so do most other farmhands and former-farmhands... Link to comment
Backindiapers Posted May 3, 2010 Share Posted May 3, 2010 The OP is not posting original content. Calm down. He never claimed it was his work. He just posted to get a laugh. Who cares if its original or not. You probably watch porn that you don't own on the internet also. Link to comment
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