Looking For Help..Please Help Me

[ajthebabypie]

I wasn't sure where exactly to post this but the lifestyle forum seemed appropriate cos this issue has something to do with everyday life. Ok here goes...

So I'm an ABDL who's recently come out of the closet. A few months ago I decided to tell my boyfriend about it before he inavertantly found out. It was a terrifying experience but he seemed to take it well. I bought myself a sippy cup and a paci and some goodnites. I told him the goodnites were for my monthly (which they really were but of course I use 'em for a little more than that ) and he thought the sippy cup and paci were just cute little quirks.

Almost 2 months ago, on my birthday, I bought myself a bottle to drink this really good sweet juice out of. I then asked if I could get a little more baby stuff and he completely lost it on me. It caught me completely off guard since I was under the impression that he accepted me. He told me some things that hurt me pretty deeply. He told me to stop being such a fucking baby and get some therapy and a few others. I tried to make a reconciliation but he refuses to acknowledge that anything ever happened and refuses to acknowledge that he even knows I like diapers and such.

I'm not quite sure what to do because I love him dearly but yet I also don't want to give up being an ABDL. It's a part of me that may be a little strange but I'm happy with it and it makes me happy. It makes me feel like I'm being my true self and there's nothing better in the world than that. I don't want to give up the sweet comfort of diapers or the thrill of walking through the baby isle search for treasure for my pacifier collection. But yet I don't want to give up my boyfriend's love either.

I tried doing a complete purge where I threw out my bottle and goodnites but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I sobbed really hard for hours, like I'd lost a very close friend. It felt worse than any break up with a partner I'd ever had.

I

[arren]

if he cant accept the fact that it makes you happy then hes obviously not right for you its not as if its something illegal its basically youre happy world tell him he either accepts who u like to be or things are over but go with what your heart tells u not wat ive just written its all bout u being happy and for the therapy thing dont give in as its not worth your while going to a therapist over it all because he doesnt like it if he cares and loves you hell let you do what makes u feel happy

[diaperpt]

Regardless of the diaper issue, it sounds like there is at the very least a communication issue. You say you've explained to him the whole aby issue and he's heard it but he claims not to know anything of it. Something's up there, right? If nothing else, that needs to improve or you'll have little future. It seems at the least that if he loves you, he'd react a little differently.

You say you're not ready to give up that love - you'll need to think this through very carefully - do you have his love now? His explosive reaction (as you've reported) makes it seem like you aren't really getting his love. ...and if you are getting his love and this is how he expresses it, you may not have a future - at least not a good future - with him.

A bird in the hand is NOT always better...even if you do have this bird in your hand, which seems doubtful. And remember, I'm saying this with no regard to the whole diaper issue which he doesn't seem ready to deal with.

Good luck with your decision - but do give it lots of thought and be very careful that you are in a fully loving, balanced relationship before even worrying about the diaper issue!

[peelover]

Dump him, if he can;t accept you then he doesn't deserve you.

[Darkfinn]

I'm with some of the others. AB/DL isn't something you can just put away... it is always going to be a part of your life. If you want to be happy then look for a partner who is more accepting. I know it sucks to have to break up with someone you truely care about... but if the relationship was right he would be accepting of you and all your "quirks".

[diaperedandspanked]

He...sounds like a fool, most guys would want to be in his place....dump him.

[DL88]

Ignore the posts that flat out say "dump his ass" first and foremost.

Like Diaperpt said, and I agree, it sounds like you both might have some communication issues. I don't want to point any fingers and say one or the other is at fault, however, there might have been some subtle signs that were not conveyed and/or picked up on both of your parts. He may have not liked it and had a hard time verbalizing those feelings, where you might not have been picking up on subtle signs he was giving showing he had an issue with the age play.

Just remember that when you love someone you love them in their entirety, for a true relationship to work, the feeling must be mutual.

[phogendpf]

Why don't more girls find ABDL boyfriends? This girl should be posting in the meeting place to find a bf near her. If more girls did that, they would be happier and feel more accepted, and more of us guys would have the abdl girls we seek. Everyone wins! Keep it inside of the ABDL community. Make a guy in this community happy, rather then a regular guy who isn't into this. Im glad regular guys think its crazy, more baby girls for me!

[Yvhuce]

It does seem that you were a bit misleading, there... Guys don't like that. And we do blow up sometimes over it. But if he's more persistent about it, you've got 2 basic options: try to work it out through something like couples counseling or something, or kick his ass to the curb. It's rare that someone is able to change who they are at heart... And it's probly not worth it to stay with someone who can't accept who you are at heart... But if you really believe that it's love, and perhaps something more of a misunderstanding, by all means try to salvage the relationship. At least then, you'll know for sure...

[babykeiff]

ajthebabypie,

there are two things in your life that at the moment are separate - 1 - your AB feelings and emotions, and 2 - your love and care for your partner. It is not possible to hide from either, so these have to merge to make you happy.

You have tried communication - with your partner - a good idea when it works, but as you have stated, this hasn't worked.

What I suggest you do is put a critical eye on your relationship - it currently is not working and you have two choices - try to save it OR move on to another one.

Are you getting / will you get what you want from this relationship? Is there something that you can do to improve this. (Without effecting #1 above) ?

If you can't answer 'yes' to both of these questions, then I am sorry, this relationship is over already, and all is needed is you to realize it.

[Guest Saya]

The hole 'dump him' thing is a bit of a rush to be honest guys come on think...

I would try and talk to him about it, sometimes even though the person accapts it, it doesn't sink in until weeks/months sometimes, and then theres all sorts of reactions, (this one included) I'd try and talk and ask thim if theres anything he didn't really understand and if all else fails you could point him in our direection and we'll try and help.

[toon]

ajthebabypie,

there are two things in your life that at the moment are separate - 1 - your AB feelings and emotions, and 2 - your love and care for your partner. It is not possible to hide from either, so these have to merge to make you happy.

You have tried communication - with your partner - a good idea when it works, but as you have stated, this hasn't worked.

What I suggest you do is put a critical eye on your relationship - it currently is not working and you have two choices - try to save it OR move on to another one.

Are you getting / will you get what you want from this relationship? Is there something that you can do to improve this. (Without effecting #1 above) ?

If you can't answer 'yes' to both of these questions, then I am sorry, this relationship is over already, and all is needed is you to realize it.

best advice right here ^^

[curiositykilledthecat]

I am going to agree with dw

[mxgangrel]

Baby AJ:

I am sorry to hear of your siuation, but I have a slightly different take then many other posters. Most men are not very confident (despite how they act). When something new (read scary) is experienced we have a genetic instinct to attack it first, and examine it later. My advice then is to let it sink in a little, he may find he likes the idea. Did you actually explain to him what you how you would like him to interact with this side of you, and how often? I agree with the people above that communication is important, and love includes acceptance. Now that his instincts have calmed down, bring it up again, and give him a reasonable chance. If he is not accepting, he doesn't love you for real anyway, and it really is time to cut your losses. Trust me, being in a relationship where you have to deny an entire part of your needs and desires is hard work. If you have identified this issue early on, it may be a blessing in disguise.

With sympathy for your situation,

MxGangrel

[Mary-Ann]

I is sorry for what is happening .

it must have been a terrible surprise for you when the argument happened

it is hard to explain things i know . for if you do try to keep your relationship and he still isn't able to get it , don't stay. it is bad for you to be around people who don't like apart of you and to stay long you really will need therapy .

some times it might not be that he doesn't love you it can be he loves you and is worried about you . would it help for him to learn more about ab?

[nitrous]

Hey,

first, welcome to the board The second thing is, if someone really loves someone then they'll accept their little hobbies, and problems. I know being an ab can be in one hand fit you so perfectly and in another hand its not the biggest part of you. So since this sin't a huge part of your life since you probably have other interests, so he shouldn't freak out about it. Odviously this may be abnormal for your boyfriend and may be a lil uncomfortable about you being an ab he shouldn't have freaked out like that. He should have been more mature about it. I've been in love once in my life and I can honestly say that I wouldn't break up with someone simply because of soemthing as trivial as wearing something or acting a lil weird. I think the perfect example of a loving relationship is from The United States of Tara. Tara the wife has multiple personalities and causes so many problems but her husband still stands by her and suports her for 18 years because he loves her. Do you think if you went mental or became physically disabled to need to be cared for as an infant that your boyfriend would stand by you? Because you know anything could happen.

[Letluvsrool]

Seriously, with all the lonely diaper boys any girl who's in to diapers shouldn't put up with having a boyfriend who makes you feel bad for your fetish. Dump him now and fine yourself a fellow diaper lover who will not only tolerate your fetish, but participate in it!