Why Does She Do It Better?

[MLGTexas84]

My wife and I change each other on a regular basis, but I have noticed that she does it better. I don't mean after I am done she isn't happy or that she leaks from it being loose or lopsided. I change her diaper every night before bed.

However, when she changes me, its more loving, as if she is changing a child. I guess that is the difference, she changes me with care and love and I just change her. Obviously I love and care about her, but at changing time it seems I don't have that special touch.

Does anybody else experience this?

Is it because she is a woman and they are better with these things or what?

Or is Tenderness just their bag?

[timmyc]

and I just change her.

When I was in a position to be changing diapers regularly, I would spend a lot of time using the wipes and rubbing on lotion, it was almost like a very personal massage. You have to make the effort not just change her. sweet loving diaper changes came very natural for me the three girls I have diapered, loved how I treated them. When I get diapered I prefer more of a punishment/humiliation scenario so I have never had the kind loving mommy diaper change.

[MLGTexas84]

Maybe the difference isn't so much time and actions so much as state of mind. It's not the way its done so much as how she talks to me while she does it.

It might be that I am changing her to prevent diaper rash and to take care of her, and she changes me strictly for the pleasure of wearing. I don't think I am really explaining it right.

We both wear mostly for pleasure, but I think she assumes more of a Mommy role when she changes me, than I can manage as a Daddy.

Maybe that's it...

[sarah_ab]

My wife and I change each other on a regular basis, but I have noticed that she does it better. I don't mean after I am done she isn't happy or that she leaks from it being loose or lopsided. I change her diaper every night before bed.

However, when she changes me, its more loving, as if she is changing a child. I guess that is the difference, she changes me with care and love and I just change her. Obviously I love and care about her, but at changing time it seems I don't have that special touch.

Does anybody else experience this?

Is it because she is a woman and they are better with these things or what?

Or is Tenderness just their bag?

maybe yo both have different motivations for wanting to change the other person.

my boyfriend changes me and he most certainly is not a woman.

However, if changing someone is not part of our fantasy, then you are not going to be spending as much time on that aspect of the role play. So perhaps for your wife, changing you is a big part of her fantasy, and for you, changing her does not have as much meaning.

[Opie]

maybe yo both have different motivations for wanting to change the other person.

my boyfriend changes me and he most certainly is not a woman.

However, if changing someone is not part of our fantasy, then you are not going to be spending as much time on that aspect of the role play. So perhaps for your wife, changing you is a big part of her fantasy, and for you, changing her does not have as much meaning.

Ooh, Sarah, I get to quote you twice in a day. What a treat.

Pure speculation here and this is evil, but if it's her fantasy to change his diaper, is her fantasy having a real baby? What if a real baby comes along? Will "Daddy" no longer get changed? Will "Mommy" leave diapers behind?

Curiosity...

[MLGTexas84]

We have talked about if we have kids how that will change things for us. Obviously, it will change things, but kids change most things anyway. The first change would be that hanging out in diapers and PJ shirts would have to be limited to when the kids aren't home or the bedroom. As well as casually leaving diapering supplies around the bedroom. In a way our kids would become our parents making us hide that part of our life again.

On the positive side. We will enjoy playing with our kids for more reasons than the average parent. Instead of pretending to enjoy toys and coloring we actually do.

Plus a nursery is a nursery even if it isn't yours. We all feel better the moment we step inside and the smell floods our senses.

My wife just looked over my shoulder and said, "No, I will be sad if I have to wear pants."

Currently though we aren't planning to have kids and if we do, it will be a few years from now anyway.

On the original topic:

It's not that I don't enjoy changing her and the way she squirms and giggles when I adjust her leg garters, really makes my day. It's just that I am really bad with kids (they randomly cry if I wave or smile at them), as such I don't exude parent. I just don't really have the knack for it and neither did my dad or my uncle. For that matter I don't know if I know any guy that really does.

It's like it just comes naturally to women or even girls for that matter. Guys grow up playing war and killing action figures with other action figures, while girls play house and pretend to be mommies to their baby dolls (there are exceptions but this tends to be the norm). I just don't know if it is a genetic thing or if we are taught these skills and urges. Modern Fathers are more apt to change a diaper than they were in my diaper days, but its as if they are doing something special or they had to really focus to learn these skills.

Have you ever seen a teen boy as a babysitter? If you hand a girl a baby they know how to hold it and take care of it, but if you handed the same baby to a guy, he would hesitate and wonder am I doing this right? Does this come with an Instruction Manual? (Obviously I am blowing it out of proportion, but I think you get the point.)

[curiositykilledthecat]

it's easier to change someone else

[Creepymouse]

Actually, no, it isn't. I've been doing it for myself for around ten years, I've only been doing hers for about two.

Anyways, I've found that when I'm diapering her, the trouble comes from poor fit. Her hips are about the same size around as mine, but a completely different shape. *shrugs*

(Oh, and she's good at the wiping and lotion and powder, but I always have to pin or tape it myself, or it isn't right.)

[puffy_bottom]

i dunno, i was a pretty solid babysitter as a teenager and i thought about what i did to treat whatever kids i was watching right.

[DiaperBoyKR]

It's like it just comes naturally to women or even girls for that matter. Guys grow up playing war and killing action figures with other action figures, while girls play house and pretend to be mommies to their baby dolls (there are exceptions but this tends to be the norm). I just don't know if it is a genetic thing or if we are taught these skills and urges. Modern Fathers are more apt to change a diaper than they were in my diaper days, but its as if they are doing something special or they had to really focus to learn these skills.

Have you ever seen a teen boy as a babysitter? If you hand a girl a baby they know how to hold it and take care of it, but if you handed the same baby to a guy, he would hesitate and wonder am I doing this right? Does this come with an Instruction Manual? (Obviously I am blowing it out of proportion, but I think you get the point.)

It the way guys and girls are wired. To pretend that girls and guys are the same as each other and can do the exact same things naturally well ignores all the evidnce that psychological science has discovered about how men's and women's minds work. I personally believe that it is because men and women were created with different purposes by God, that men were designed to be the protector and bread winner, so we have a pronounced tendency to look at family things as problem to be solved. Women instinctually know why a child is crying, or how best to comfort him, or even how to hold him because thats what they've done since the beginning of time. Forgive me if this isn't PC, but men were not designed to be the nurturers of the family, women were. I'm not one of these guys that says that its impossible for women to do the same things men do, and vice versa, thats ludicrous, but there are some things that come easier to each gender than others. Childrearing and nurturing come easier to women....the warrior/protector role comes easier to most males. Both of those roles are equally important in the effectiveness of a stable family.

And I was actually babysitter in my teens, but I only babysat for toilet trained kids (like 4 years old plus) cause I had no clue how to handle a young one. Stil don't for that matter and Im hella closer to having kids of my own .

[sarah_ab]

*sighs* ahhh gender stereotypes... gotta love em..

[puffy_bottom]

yeah i wouldn't buy too much into the idea that only some of us are hard wired to be sensitive to a loved ones needs. i presume that you're writing because you want the experience to feel equal to what you get. if so, all it takes is attention and care to figure out what would make it be the experience you want to give her. you can even ask what she feels makes it so special for you and give her feedback on what you love about it. you'll figure out soon enough what makes her happy about the experience and be able to provide it for her time and time again.

[Repaid1]

I know when I became a father something in me just switched. I know for certain I could put on a diaper better,faster and more comfortable than my wife. I mean who knows better on all the things it takes than a "baby" themselves. I know one thing I took care of was to run fingers inside the leg bands and insure that the plastic wasn't flipped inward on his little thighs. He seemed to like the powder storm as my wife would call it.

You might want to try different diapering techniques to find what works best for her. Adjust the front to back fit, then how you do the tapes. Go bottom,bottom, top to top, cross siding as you go. It should give a better fit. Different brands for different people seem to be a good bet too. I get a great fit from Molicares and believe it or not Depends on the rare occasion. All diapers fit different, might want to get a sample pack and try out a few different brands, see if that helps.

[diapergirl80]

It could also be that you already do a terrific job of changing her, but she's never bothered to tell you that.

The change might not be the central event for her--maybe it's more about the overall experience and how it makes her feel safe and secure.