The Vending Machine Game

[Eir]

Machine spits out happyness in a bottle, I drink half the bottle and have visions of Mario running circles around me!

I insert Ocarina of Time into the Machine

[underwhere]

Ocarina makes beautiful music, and time stands still. Machine decays, eventually spitting out a confused archaeologist.

Inserts confused archaeologist back into the machine..

[Eir]

Impa comes out of the Machine, she gives you over to Zelda, who babysits you.

I insert an alcoholic rabbit and neurotic hunter into the machine

[underwhere]

In Monty Python fashion, machine spits out dead hunter as a result of killer (drunk) rabbit.

Inserts favorite color, the correct one.

[BabyJune]

Machine spits out a lawsuit for discrimination by the colors that weren't chosen.

Inserts an outrageous bill from a lawyer for legal services rendered.

[Eir]

Judge Judy comes out of the machine, makes the lawyer cry!

I insert a signed photograph of Judge Judy into the machine.

[underwhere]

The photograph sues you for defacing it, and wins. Spits out court ruling.

Inserts judge's gavel.

[freswith]

Machine gives final judgement in State vs Underwhere and sentences you to six months hard labour.

Insert Notice of Appeal.

[underwhere]

Upon review, machine spits out that the Appeal has been sustained and the original judgment nullified.

Insert freswith.

[freswith]

Machine rattles, clanks, gurgles, whines, releases jets of steam, short biting articles of literary criticism, bunches of flowers and a miasma of strange fragrances, and then returns Freswith garlanded with roses. (It's nice to have a few fans around the place.)

Insert underwhere, together with a large spoonful of bicarbonate of soda.

[underwhere]

Machine farts and belches, then farts again before spitting out freswith's best friend.

Inserts anti-fart perfume.

[Eir]

Machine lets out a cloud of blue blazes, you pass out.

I insert a candle into the machine

[BabyJune]

Machine starts playing Elton John's "Candle in the Wind"

Inserts a pair of outrageous glasses

[underwhere]

Spits out the outrageous glasses frames, without the lenses.

Inserts a glass eye. (I knew somebody who had one as a result of an accident as a child.)

[underwhere]

Due to the unfortunate fact that there is no explosive space which needs modulating, machine spits out laughing gas.

Inserts hysterical laughter.

[wetgirl1]

gets out laughing hyena (fact: when hyenas a laughing they are preparing to attack watch out)

Inserts Exploding Bomb

Gets Non-Exploding Bomb

[Baby Brian]

Gets and explosion (....strange there was no bomb) At least it kills the hyena.

Inserts hyena's hide.

[underwhere]

Spits out hiding hyena.

Inserts dog whistle.

[Eir]

The machine spits out your mother-in-law

Inserts the university newspaper into the vending machine.

[BabyJune]

Machine shreds paper for use in the bottom of a bird cage.

Inserts a bird.

[underwhere]

Machine flips BabyJune the bird, and spits out curse words in 400 different languages.

Inserts strong soap with which to wash out the machine's dirty mouth.

[Eir]

Machine spits out bubblebath, and directions to the city fountain!

[underwhere]

Inserts terryfighter, since terryfighter forgot to insert anything.

[Eir]

Machine spits out Princess Peach! Yay!

I insert the "law" that says you cannot mess diapers in public.

[freswith]

Machine issues vellum scroll, which when unrolled says "Common Law - and you're nicked, Sunshine!"

Insert policeman's pointy helmet and pair of Derby's