The Vending Machine Game

[BabyJune]

Machine spits out a $400 government rebate for insulating and "going green."

Inserts a Prius hybrid.

[wetman]

Machine issues equally environment-friendly ream of recycling paper.

Inserts paper hat.

[underwhere]

Machine spits out dunce cap.

Inserts dunce.

[Yvhuce]

Machine produces Prius driver.

Inserts 1971 HemiCuda.

[Juliabam]

Machine returns 2011 angry fish on speed

inserts fishing vessel

[freswith]

Machine emits 101 Dalmatians

Insert one Damnation.

[Juliabam]

machine returns freswith to Hell!

Inserts evil laughter!

[freswith]

Machine issues "Demon: Freswith, Juliet for the tormenting of.....1."

Insert trident - where it hurts!

[Bonsai]

Machine ejects a Moebius Strip for an infinite number of Julias and her Demons to artistically run on one after the other, each hitting the one in front (where it hurts) with different sharp objects.

Inserts a valley of tears.

[Yvhuce]

Machine produces something from the Uncanny Valley.

Inserts Death Valley.

[Bonsai]

Mashine ejects efficient and economic system to use solar energy.

Inserts current price of Brent crude oil.

[underwhere]

Machine spits out oil which is not so crude. In fact, the oil is nice.

Machine oils itself for maintanance with not so crude oil, and inserts the containers the oil came in.

[Yvhuce]

Machine produces pickup truck capable of driving over a 55 gallon oil drum without touching it.

Inserts monster truck rally announcer.

[underwhere]

Machine spits out headache.

Inserts Advil.

[Yvhuce]

Machine spits out warning of side effects, which may include sudden unexpected death and unspecified "sexual side effects".

Inserts the FDA.

[BabyJune]

Machine spits out an overpriced prescription whose side effects will kill you.

Inserts the FBI to investigate a suspicious chemical-induced death.

(If a schizophrenic person overdoses on drugs and dies, is it ruled a suicide or a homicide?)

[underwhere]

Machine spits out an overpriced prescription whose side effects will kill you.

Inserts the FBI to investigate a suspicious chemical-induced death.

Machine spits out paperwork for subpeona describing botched investigation and several FBI informants on the loose.

Inserts ten million dollar reward for capture of said informants.

(If a schizophrenic person overdoses on drugs and dies, is it ruled a suicide or a homicide?)

That would depend on whether it was the schizophrenic person who chose to overdose, or if it was an alter which made them do it.

[Yvhuce]

That would depend on whether it was the schizophrenic person who chose to overdose, or if it was an alter which made them do it.

Actually, it'd just be suicide. Same as if they stabbed themself, shot themself, lit themself on fire, etc... Alternate personalities often do try to kill one another, but it's always been classified as suicide when they succeed.

Machine produces the surprisingly hyper-competent Keystone Kops from NetHack.

Inserts Kobold Zombie corpse.

[Bonsai]

Machine extracts black magic from the corpse and with that issues an elixir that reduces to half the speed of the drinker.

[underwhere]

Inserts Bonsai into machine, since Bonsai forgot to insert something.

[Bonsai]

Machine issues freshly cut firewood in bonsai size.

Inserts into the machine some large relocation cardboard boxes with all the real life and the fantasies of all DD members inside.

[Yvhuce]

Machine issues a box containing an alternate universe where coin flips had opposite results and Yvhuce has a wife. That universe's machine issues forth a box containing our universe.

Inserts a compilation of 80's cartoon PSAs.

[WetAmy]

gets back an old beat up superman t-shirt.

inserts my dirty laundry.

[Bonsai]

Machine returns Amy's cleaned laundry, treated with special softener and color brightener (interesting stuff... ).

Inserts Bloody Mary.

[freswith]

Machine coughs, wheezes and ejects a four-seasons pizza with black olives.

Insert knife and fork.