The Vending Machine Game

[Juliabam]

machine returns a peacock in drag

inserts drag strip

[freswith]

Machine accelerates to 200mph over a quarter of a mile.

Inserts nitro fuel normally reserved for Julia's wheelchair..

[Bonsai]

Machine goes berserk and cries like a little lady to be ashamed of being drunk with nitro fuel. Nitro fuel vapors get out of machine and a little sparkle ignites them into a great fireball.

Inserts bicarbonate and headache pill.

[underwhere]

Machine spits out hangnail with a hangover in a carbonated soda bottle.

Inserts veritaserum.

[wetman]

Machine gives truth.

Inserts little white lie.

[aleyxsis]

machine spits out all forms of lies

inserts new government

[underwhere]

aleyxis, I think the machine is supposed to spit out something different from what went in.

spits out USA national debt.

insert rubber check (came pretty close this week to having a big one of those here in the USA)

[Juliabam]

Machine downgrades USA's credit rating and their Visa card will now be eaten next time inserted to machine

Inserts..nah I don't have the US-Visacard but I can insert scissors!

[Bonsai]

Machine spits out US bills owned by Chinese People's Republic with the writing "we have just joked".

Inserts angry chinese government.

[aleyxsis]

Spits out happy chinese government (we have all you money u s a )

Iserts a cheque for 15 cents to help the debt (U S goverment now wants to hire me )

[Juliabam]

Govenment owned vending machine now hires Lexsis for the sum of 15p//year to chew up whatever machine spits out

inserts snuff!

[Yvhuce]

Machine spits on its own controls and gets itself too sticky for anyone to want to touch. (I had coworkers who did that to the tractors...)

Puts on leather work gloves and inserts jug of Mean Green.

[underwhere]

Machine spits out a triple McGrease Burger.

Insert's a fast food employee who is trained only to say "Would you like fries with that?"

[Juliabam]

machine returns emplyee asking do you want it to be a large menu

inserts dvd copy of supersize me

[wetman]

Machine gives a Betamax tape of 'The Incredible Shrinking Man'.

Inserts universal media converter.

[Bonsai]

Spits out the platinum-iridium prototype metre.

Inserts again universal meter converter, hoping for more precious "standards".

[wetman]

Machine extends a foot, both 12 inches and kicking Bonsai in the bum-bulge of his wet nappy.

Inserts handfuls of loose superabsorber that Bonsai is loosing after the split.

[underwhere]

Machine absorbs loose superabsorber, and spit out a leaking fire hydrant. Could use that super absorber now.

Inserts water-balloon. (next best thing to use to absorb leaks)

[Baby Brian]

Machine shoots out a full water baloon which narrowly misses me and hits a passing cop.

Quickly inserts a monoply "get our of jail for free" card.

[Yvhuce]

Machine uses its "get out of jail free" card and theme proceeds to roll doubles 3 times in a row and lands back in Jail.

Inserts the Fuzzy Dice from KOL.

[Juliabam]

Machine shaves dice and sputz out fuzzy cloud of dust

inserts fuzzy dust collector

[wetman]

Machine applies fuzzy logic and drops 512x 'true', 512x 'false' and 1024x 'maybe'.

Insert 128 bytes and 256 nibbles.

[underwhere]

machine spits out out-dated punch cards which nobody knows how to read or interpret anymore.

Insert a computer virus.

[wetman]

Machine sneezes and issues large amounts of nasal mucus.

Inserts floorcloth (with a bargepole).

[Bonsai]

Machine is now covered of red spots and issues overheated circuits burned by the virus. Bargepole goes in flames.

Inserts sealing-rapid expansion-aseptic foam to insulate machine.