The Vending Machine Game

[underwhere]

Machine emits a wide range of dog and cat sounds from all of the animals held at the pound.

Inserts great dane.

[freswith]

Gets back a copy of Hamlet.

Insert Sonnet praising the Dark Lady.

[BabyJune]

Machine spits out an autographed picture of Oprah Winfrey.

Rip up picture and stuff it back into the machine.

[underwhere]

Machine spits out Oprah Winfrey, who then bops BabyJune over the head with a rubber duckie, a perfectly square rubber duckie.

Inserts a live square duck.

[freswith]

Gets back a perfectly square tin of duck paté.

Inserts wreath of lilies for Square Duck.

[Juliabam]

Gets back a perfectly square tin of duck paté.

Inserts wreath of lilies for Square Duck.

machine sneezes loud and long

inserts paper for machine to wipe the nose with

[freswith]

Machine heaves and writhe nd then lays a square egg.

insert incubator.

[Bettypooh]

Next to Frenchman babbling something about a "Tarjhay", machine emits a sitting duck, rendering incubator useless

Inserts Duck-class ticket to Peking

[:dlb]

spits out roast duck

insert rubber ducky

[Bettypooh]

Machine giggles and sends out a pair of hot pink rubber panties with hippie-daisies printed all over them

Inserts no longer needed old, cracked, and taped-up faded red plastic panties

[Bonsai]

Machine spits out a 007 style smoking, only in latex.

Inserts a copy of the Necronomicon written in gothic characters on thick old loose papers.

[Bettypooh]

Inserts lit match (with a devious smile)

Machine coughs and smokes then ejects a pile of ashes

[freswith]

Machine ejects 400-page volume of instructions on "How to Operate this Vending Machine"

Insert handful of cowrie shells.

[Bettypooh]

Machine jams and says shells are rejected as payment

Inserts one Susan B Anthony dollar coin

[:dlb]

machine spits out 50 cents and laughs

insert a half-full urinal

[underwhere]

Spits out Liquid Plumber.

inserts real plumber.

[Bonsai]

Spits out a 97,5 $ bill

Inserts 100 $...

[:dlb]

spits out 100 1 dollar bills

insert bucket of caramel

[underwhere]

Spits out caramel sundae with vanilla ice cream.

Inserts bill for cleaning up the mess that caramel makes with all the messy babies around who tried to eat it.

[freswith]

Machine issues large wet mop straight into underwhere's underwear.

Insert underwhere.

[Juliabam]

Machine issues large wet mop straight into underwhere's underwear.

Insert underwhere.

machine returns can of farts scraped off from freswith underwhere

inserts can of farts back to machine.. Gimme something I want stupiod machine...

[freswith]

Machine gives Juliabam a clip round the ear.

Insert note of thanks.

[:dlb]

spits out note saying your welcome

Insert chocolate-breast milk

[BabyJune]

Machine says "What be dis?" and spits it out.

Inserts a bottle of mouthwash.

[Bonsai]

Machine says "What be dis?" and spits it out.

Inserts a bottle of mouthwash.

Sprays out an ounce of septic blood with some rotten teeth inside as sharpnels.

Inserts a rusty scythe.