The Vending Machine Game

[Juliabam]

Machine ties handkerchief to stick and raises it as a white flag to surrender

Insert handgrenade (come on, did you really think I would play by the book? - Crazy machine!)

[freswith]

(Juliabam hasn't even read the book. If she had she would have realised that you are supposed to remove the pin!)

Machine issues hand grenade - minus the pin - and it rolls under Juliabam's armoured wheelchair, blowing her out through the turret hatch.

Insert Arcturan Order of Outstanding Frogliness, First Class, with Lily Leaves, Crossed Cleavers, and Little Sparkly Bits.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

(Juliabam hasn't even read the book. If she had she would have realised that you are supposed to remove the pin!)

Machine issues hand grenade - minus the pin - and it rolls under Juliabam's armoured wheelchair, blowing her out through the turret hatch.

Insert Arcturan Order of Outstanding Frogliness, First Class, with Lily Leaves, Crossed Cleavers, and Little Sparkly Bits.

Get back

this

Insert Froggy's magic twanger

[freswith]

Get back "My ding-a-ling"

Insert the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam.

[Bettypooh]

Gets a bejeweled scimitar

Inserts jewel from hiding place in scimitar scabbard (and the machine isn't so worthless anymore )

[freswith]

Machine radiates beams of intense light, emits cranking noise, and starts to dematerialise.

Insert new contract of employment covering another series.

[Juliabam]

machine fires freswith from his job because it's now occupied by another

inserts sparetime job for freswith as floor sweeper at Mc D.

[freswith]

Freswith sweeps up food dropped on floor, washes it, and recycles it as fresh hamburger.

Machine issues large paypacket with bonus for initiative.

Inserts hamburger.

[Bettypooh]

Gets a scolding from Dietitian who recommends Tofu Burger instead

Inserts book from Library labeled "How to Make Tofu Taste Delicious" - found in the fiction section, of course

[freswith]

Machine issues Party Election Manifestos (from "Romantic Fiction" section, of course)

Inserts vote

[BabyJune]

Gets a royal screwing and is stuck for another four years.

Inserts a request for impeachment.

[freswith]

Gets impeached.

Inserts plea of diminished responsibility due to excessive taxation.

[BabyJune]

Gets back a country full of illegal immigrants due to a lack of border security.

Inserts a "Dictionario Espanol"

[Juliabam]

Gets back a country full of illegal immigrants due to a lack of border security.

Inserts a "Dictionario Espanol"

Machine returns a flamenco dancing bookshelf

inserts sound and impact dampening carpet

[freswith]

Machine returns a nappy thta is sound-proof as well as pee proof so it can fit over either end of Julia.

Insert Chubb five-lever security key.

[freswith]

Machine returns a nappy that is sound-proof as well as pee proof so it is effective on either end of Julia.

Insert Chubb five-lever security key.

[Juliabam]

Machine return a bestseller of a door that only frogs can't open

inserts cave in the mountains for the locked out froogs to live in

[freswith]

Ah! Froogs! We have a lot of them on Arcturus. Sort of local equivalent of Droogs.

Machine issues white trousers, shirts, and bowler hats to clothe said Froogs..

Insert Clockwork Orange

[Juliabam]

Ah! Froogs! We have a lot of them on Arcturus. Sort of local equivalent of Droogs.

Machine issues white trousers, shirts, and bowler hats to clothe said Froogs..

Insert Clockwork Orange

MAchine returns 5 apples in mouth right times squares

inserts vw bug spray

[freswith]

Machine emits a coughing, wheezing VW beetle which promptly rolls over on its back with its wheels spinning uselessly in the air.

Insert a Mercedes limousine

[Bettypooh]

Gets "The Bends" while jumping out of pond

Inserts small green decompression chamber

[Juliabam]

Gets "The Bends" while jumping out of pond

Inserts small green decompression chamber

Machine returns decompressed aliens

insert flying saucer by throwing it at the machine

[freswith]

Machine hurls back a flying cup of tea.

insert two sugars

[BabyJune]

Machine spits out a message that your blood sugar level is too high

Insert a video of Wilford Brimley talking about diabetes testing supplies...and his new FREE meter.

[Juliabam]

Machine spits out a message that your blood sugar level is too high

Insert a video of Wilford Brimley talking about diabetes testing supplies...and his new FREE meter.

Machine buys 1000 FREE meters and converts them to 1 kilometer of freeway

inserts roadmap