The Vending Machine Game

[freswith]

Gets back a splendid dish of Steak Juliabam, beautifully flambeed and served with a bitter sauce made with rue and pickled capers.

Inserts stake knife (a la Van Helsing)

[Juliabam]

In return machine mount freswith on a stake

inserts medal

[freswith]

Machine emits angry Zulu warrior armed with assegai

Inserts .455 Martini-Henry cartridge

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Machine emits angry Zulu warrior armed with assegai

Inserts .455 Martini-Henry cartridge

Get blown away

insert big wind (hurricane, typhoon, cyclone; whatever you call it)

[freswith]

Machine issues a pack of charcoal biscuits.

Insert Map of the London Underground

[Juliabam]

Machine issues a pack of charcoal biscuits.

Insert Map of the London Underground

Machine finds oil and moves to Cayman Island to hide his fortune

inserts gps tracking unit

[Bettypooh]

Machine finds oil and moves to Cayman Island to hide his fortune

inserts gps tracking unit

GPS unit shows track back to the basement where the oil was found. Pipeline company emits bill for oil taken and for repairs (Shades of Vyvyn !!!)

Inserts old milk carton from fridge

[freswith]

Machine emits old cow who chases you angrily down the road.

Insert traffic cone

[Juliabam]

Machine presses cone over freswiths head and puts him in the corner

Inserts do not disturb sign

[freswith]

Machine issues massed bands of the Salvation Army playing "Onward Christian Soldiers!"

Insert ear plugs

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Machine issues massed bands of the Salvation Army playing "Onward Christian Soldiers!"

Insert ear plugs

Macnine returns 400 watt Marshall Stack set on 12 that does to earplugs what politicians do to the truth

Isert Marshall amp

[Juliabam]

Machine returns General Lee. General Lee is a stronger card than Marshall Amp, and machine therefore wins

inserts Christine Daryleanne's name in gold sticky letters to stick to board of loosers

[freswith]

Machine sticks Christine's name on the board four places above Juliabam's

Insert long piece of wire with a hook on the end.

[BabyJune]

Gets that fish from the McDonald's commercial that sings, Give me that filet 'o'fish; give me that fish...

Inserts a Whopper

[Guest Baby Tiana]

Gets that fish from the McDonald's commercial that sings, Give me that filet 'o'fish; give me that fish...

Inserts a Whopper

Machine goes on the fritz's from the sauce on the whopper and spits out curdled milk.

Inserts a terrarium.

[Juliabam]

Machine goes on the fritz's from the sauce on the whopper and spits out curdled milk.

Inserts a terrarium.

Machine finds freswith sleeping in the terrarium and spits it all out claiming it was broken and asking for a new

Inserts note with a dot and a text saying point of no return

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Machine finds freswith sleeping in the terrarium and spits it all out claiming it was broken and asking for a new

Inserts note with a dot and a text saying point of no return

Get back

Gene B McDaniels 1963 record

Insert 45 rpm record

[freswith]

Gets back "War Canoe" By Rolf Harris - one of the most criminal records ever made.

Inserts didgeridoo.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Gets back "War Canoe" By Rolf Harris - one of the most criminal records ever made.

Inserts didgeridoo.

Got

First Rolf Harris hit from 1963

I was not going to let this one go by for all the tiaras in Fairyland

Insert duckbill platypus

[freswith]

gets back Wild Bill Hickock

Insert Aces over Eights

[Juliabam]

machine returns royal straight frogs and wins the pot

inserts loser horn

[BabyJune]

Gets a half-hour recording of a middle student practicing the trombone.

Inserts same student's math homework with all the wrong answers.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Gets a half-hour recording of a middle student practicing the trombone.

Inserts same student's math homework with all the wrong answers.

Got back Government estimate for the cost of (insert your favorite bugbear)

Insert Governemnt

[freswith]

Machine clanks, wheezes, coughs, spits out nuts and bolts, jets of oil, and shakes violently, screen shows sign saying "invalid input", then produces large back of garden compost and even larger bag marked "toxic waste".

Inserts bowl of petunias (Oh No! Not Again!)

[Bettypooh]

Machine inhales deeply, then emits a sneeze- it's allergic to Petunias

Inserts new handkerchief to assist machine's return to normal (as if this darn machine was ever normal)