The Vending Machine Game

[underwhere]

Machine spits out radiography of broken middle fingers, right & left hand.

Inserts straightjacket and "happiness pill" (high dosage), plus thick nappies to overcome the side effects of happiness pill.

Machine spits out curved jacket, and a balanced budget.

Inserts one good politician, if such can even be found.

[Bonsai]

Machine spits out a pink dancing elephant with purple ears and orange trunk and tail.

Inserts a needle and a haystack.

[BabyJune]

Machine spits out a perfectly-sewn scarecrow.

Inserts an ear of corn. (Ooohhh, that feels good)

[freswith]

Machine sprouts corn from every orifce and covers itself in greenery.

Insert corn dolly modelled on Juliabam.

[underwhere]

Machine spits out guillotine made especially for frogs. (You did say modeled after Juliabam.)

Insert opera singer with voice that goes flat every fourth note.

[Yvhuce]

Machine produces the posts that seem to have disappeared, or been eaten by Firefox...

Inserts Firefox.

[Bonsai]

Ejects message: connection failed. Possible causes: check if aliens are attacking the earth, locusts are obscuring the sun or the plumber called by your neibourgh accidentally cut your LAN cable.

Inserts: switch off and then on again, maybe you're lucky.

[underwhere]

Machine ejects electrified Energizer Bunny.

Inserts subatomic particle.

[freswith]

Machine splits into two parts and issues blast of gamma rays.

Insert Japanese clear-up squad.

[wetman]

Machine issues cleaned japanese squid.

Inserts teriyaki sauce.

[Yvhuce]

Machine produces bottle of liquid smoke and note that says "This makes better jerky".

Inserts strips of raw beef.

[Bonsai]

Machine delivers yakitori chicken with negima.

Trials machine's kitchen with Geiger counter.

[underwhere]

Machine spits out Richter scale.

Inserts musical scale.

[Yvhuce]

Machine produces fish scaler.

Inserts the new board layout.

[Bonsai]

Machine spits out distorted avatars

Inserts a soothing lullaby

[Juliabam]

Chat falls asleep and is gone for days.

Inserts a fire poker to poke that fire back into the chat

[underwhere]

Machine burns down to a crisp due to malfuncitoning smoke alarms, but the slot for inserting things is still present. After machine burns to a crisp, a small piece of paper is spit out with the inscription, "This message will self destruct." written on it.

Reinserts piece of paper with inscription.

[Yvhuce]

Machine explodes, producing shrapnel, then reappears, like the car from The Wraith.

Inserts blank CD.

[lilshybaby]

gets a yodeling hyena

inserts hyenas vocal chords

[freswith]

Machine yodels the Hallelujah Chorus.

Insert "Pippa Middleton" Barbie Doll.

[Juliabam]

Machine returns boot(y)leg of Aqua concert

Inserts Kickdrum

[lilshybaby]

gets an out of tune one man marching band

inserts band aid

[Juliabam]

machine returns a bloody lemonade

inserts the bloody mary

[freswith]

Gets back the Spanish Inquisition (You never expect the Spanish Inquisition!)

InsertsThe Comfy Chair.

[lilshybaby]

gets a lumpy pillow

inserts soft fluffy pink feathers