Trying My Best

[Guest ilovehim]

This is all very new to me, and I'm afriad it's just the beginning. My fiance, whom I've been with for 4 years is a DL. I accidently had stumbled onto an email in his acct verifying his online order of adult diapers, about a month or so ago. I thought every thought in the world from practical joke, to sexual needs but with another girl since I hadn't known of it. But I couldnt find the words or way to simply ask him.

About a week ago he mentioned theres something embarassing in his life that noone knows of, so we pretty much played 20 questions me trying to figure it out, and all of a sudden it clicked for me, he agreed to get up the courage to tell me soon just didnt have the words, and I think with the few answers to my questions I got that its his love of diapers.

So I didn't say anything I'm waiting for him to get the courage to talk to me about it, And I have several questions for him of course, he's afraid i'm going to break things off, and I can't i love him too much, I'm not sure how I feel about this DL thing, I don't know much about it. But who am I to judge? I like to dress up like dorothy and bone the scarecrow.

My question to this community though... HOW do i show my support? and what can I do to help him not be so embarassed?

Im not sure if he wants or if i would want to participate in anything sexually like i said i have plenty of questions for him and need time to adjust to the news, still even me already knowing.

I just want to be as understanding and supportive and loving as possible...

So maybe from your experiences? how would I go about this?

I appreciate it (:

[dave_the_baby]

Well, I don't exactly have a girlfriend or anything, but I am slow to tell other people- so far, only two people know; one of which was my brother, and I told him because I might have been moving in with him. As for the other person, she and I did do some roleplays and had fun with it. It was kinda scary at first, but once getting into it, much easier.

As far as the questions goes, it might be best to choose the most...well, peaceful environment. As for me, if I was having a heart-to-heart chat with someone, I'd like to do it at midnight, when everyone else is asleep. I don't know what conditions would make your fiance most comfortable, but hopefully you do.

From there, I have no more advice.

EDIT: Oh, yeah. Showing support...you don't necessarily have to get into the AB/DL thing. More than likely, your fiance will need time to adjust as well. Just let him know you're open to the idea, and that you still love him.

[squashNstretch]

Leave the message you posted above open on his computer screen in it's entirety. It summarizes what you want him to know perfectly and eloquently. He can read it at his leisure without the embarrassment of talking with you face to face about it just yet.

[AutieAB]

Leave the message you posted above open on his computer screen in it's entirety. It summarizes what you want him to know perfectly and eloquently. He can read it at his leisure without the embarrassment of talking with you face to face about it just yet.

I agree with this. Just let him know you already know. I'd wager that the thing he's finding most difficult is how to get that initial disclosure out: "I like wearing diapers" isn't exactly the easiest phrase to roll off the tongue to a loved one. The thing he'll be most scared of is rejection. Your post shows that he needn't be worried about either because you already know and clearly want to understand.

As an aside, kudos to you for taking the initiative - not many people do

[AZDiapers]

A slightly more direct way, to get it done with a lot sooner (I am sure it is and has been eating him up inside) is just when you two are alone just tell him "I know about the diapers and thats fine with me." He will most likely be embarrassed, but he probably would be no matter how the topic comes up, but at least it will get rid of the elephant in the room.

[Crinklebritches]

If your ok with him running around the house in a diaper, I think you should have fun with it. Dress up as Dororthy and Dress the Scarecrow in a diaper! :-)

I think the little things you say can help ease a lot of tension... For me, when someone jokes around a little with me about diapers I tend to get more open. Otherwise, I am like a tight clam hidding under a rock. Him knowing that you are willing to find out more about it, will go a long way.

That's my 2 pennies anyway.

[momma.bear]

as a woman who got into the scene when i found out that my partner is an ABDL, i think it's wonderful that you are willing to support him.

i think the biggest thing is just to remind him that you love him, with or without diapers. & even if you don't want to participate, or he doesn't want/need your participation, make sure you tell him that you support him and will continue to support him no matter what.

when i first start interacting with my partner while he was wearing, it did seem strange at first. there was a definite adjustment period. an important thing to remember for both of you is to take it slow. if he wants the freedom to wear around you, try having him start by putting one on at night UNDER HIS PJs, & just sleeping next to him. that way, you can feel that it's there & hear it, but you won't necessarily see it. then slowly move to seeing him in them, etc. that way the transition will be slow & there will be no sudden, strange shocks about it. that protects you both. & it may be a good way to figure out your own limits.

if you ever want someone to talk to who went through something similar-ish, let me know.

[LilKidPants]

If you want to show your support and you're really not totally turned off by it, you could find out what kind of diapers he usually buys, and then buy a bag or case for him, some powder and wrap it all up in nice wrapping paper and leave it on his dresser. Give it to him as a gift.

When he opens it he'll probably be immediately embarrassed, but just follow up with a big hug, tell him you accidentally saw his email, and wanted to understand his fetish. Tell him you're ok with it but have some questions of your own.

If there's any aspect of it that you are just totally uncomfortable with, this would be the time for each of you to set reasonable boundaries.

Remember, if you do show support and you really are genuinely supportive of this, you may be giving him license to wear diapers a lot more and around you. If you're not comfortable with that, you need to be clear about your concerns.

You do sound supportive, so It seems like you two should be able to work out some very acceptable compromises. Keep in mind too, that this could really boost your sex life with added role play opportunities.

Another benefit is that this will be a huge secret that that two of you share. Strong relationships are built on trust, and nothing demonstrates trust more than keeping an embarassing secret like this.

Good luck.

[toddmdl]

I think he'd love to know that he's got someone that will love him no matter what kind of quirks or activities he's involved in. I know many others would love to have an open minded and understanding partner. I give you a tremendous amount of credit for being exactly that. I'm sure ultimately he'd love to have the opportunity to engage in his fetish lifestyle as much as he wants in his home life but he does not because he does not want to upset you as a relationship is a compromise. It all would just depend on how comfortable you are with this fetish, your thoughts and opinions on it and what your limits are. I imagine though he'd love to be able to express it freely and perhaps involve you in some way. But I do not know him so I cannot say for certain obviously.

[Guest Saya]

you want to show your support and you're really not totally turned off by it, you could find out what kind of diapers he usually buys, and then buy a bag or case for him, some powder and wrap it all up in nice wrapping paper and leave it on his dresser. Give it to him as a gift.

When he opens it he'll probably be immediately embarrassed, but just follow up with a big hug, tell him you accidentally saw his email, and wanted to understand his fetish. Tell him you're ok with it but have some questions of your own.

If there's any aspect of it that you are just totally uncomfortable with, this would be the time for each of you to set reasonable boundaries.

Remember, if you do show support and you really are genuinely supportive of this, you may be giving him license to wear diapers a lot more and around you. If you're not comfortable with that, you need to be clear about your concerns.

You do sound supportive, so It seems like you two should be able to work out some very acceptable compromises. Keep in mind too, that this could really boost your sex life with added role play opportunities.

Another benefit is that this will be a huge secret that that two of you share. Strong relationships are built on trust, and nothing demonstrates trust more than keeping an embarassing secret like this.

pretty much says what I was going to say.

[diaperpt]

There isn't much that hasn't been said already here - and better than I could. You are fantastic to be this open minded about all this. He is one lucky guy!

As suggested, tell him soon, but don't feel the need to jump into the whole diaper thing all at once. He'll probably need to go slow even to whatever point you decide you can handle things. You need to go slow as well, as it may just be very weird for you at first. Talk, talk, talk - that's the best part of supporting him that you can do for now. Let him know you are willing to KNOW about it...then decide for yourself where you can fit diapers into your relationship with him. Don't rush yourself or you may get turned off by something you eventually may come to treasure - or you may at least limit yourself

or him in some aspect of this that eventually might be OK for you. and then talk about it. And, oh by the way, did I mention talk?

All this said, I don't practice what I'm preaching here. I think I fit into the category of "can't teach an old dog new tricks' - over 20 years into a relationship is a little late to start conversation with a very conservative minded partner! This is the time for you two to talk about things, experiment as you feel comfortable and get to know all about each other.

Regardless of how this relationship turns out - where it goes - how successful it is - you are dealing with it in a very healthy way! Good for you!!

diaperpt