Wife In A Diaper

[SoCalDL]

I hate for my first post, aside from introducing myself, to be so serious, but here it is.

My wife has pretty much avoided my DL side. About four years ago she put on a diaper and wore it to bed. The only reaction that I got was that she wouldn't do that again. Over time she has asked me questions about it and seemed to be a little more open to it.

Last week she said she would try it again. She diapered me (she has only diapered me one other time). And for her, this time, I got to diaper her. I didn't want to push things so I figured she would just have a dry diaper on during dinner (at home). If she was open to it, after dinner I would have added some warm water to her diaper to ease her into things.

During dinner, she said that she just felt like crying while I was putting on her diaper. Has anyone had this reaction? I told her she could take it off right then, but she wore it during the entire meal. She has suspected, in the past, that she was molested when she was young. Could this have brought on a suppressed memory? She was seeing a therapist for awhile but nothing came out of that. I think the experiences of this group might help to bring some insight.

I would obviously like try this again with my wife, but definitely not if it makes her sad. I would never want to upset her like that.

Anyone have any thoughts or similar experiences?

Jeff

[ppbenn]

I have not had any simialr experiences. However I would encourage to have try therapy again. That's all I can think of.

[Backindiapers]

Wow that's a pretty severe reaction to it. Even though she was open to the idea, but crying? Yeah maybe she was molested. And her some questions about your AB side. Does it disgust her? Does she actually hate it and is hiding it from you? Or was that a weird reaction for her too and she can't place it? The most I get outta my wife is that diapers are way too hot to wear. She tried one on once years ago but has no desire to do it again. But she will help me put mine on, so I'm happy with that.

[babykeiff]

...

During dinner, she said that she just felt like crying while I was putting on her diaper. Has anyone had this reaction? I told her she could take it off right then, but she wore it during the entire meal. She has suspected, in the past, that she was molested when she was young. Could this have brought on a suppressed memory?

...

Jeff,

one of two identifiable effects cause such a response to diapering and both are rememberance of a supressed memory or event.

1 - as you suspect, child molestation, but this would take its form in a sever aversion to diapers and all baby paraphenilia - so that option is unlikely.

2 - last time she was diapered by someone else it was as a punishment - and considering her history and opposition of diapers, she was ashamed and humiliated at that event.

What you need to do, is sit down and spend time comforting her to allow her to relax, trust you completely and eventually open up to you. What she says, you must not react to other than to comfort and support her. A good way to achieve this is to arrange with her that she tells YOU something personal that you listen and accept and you tell her something personal that she listens and accepts. A third party - ie a therapist etc - may be an intrusion into this with your wife.

[SoCalDL]

Wow that's a pretty severe reaction to it. Even though she was open to the idea, but crying? Yeah maybe she was molested. And her some questions about your AB side. Does it disgust her? Does she actually hate it and is hiding it from you? Or was that a weird reaction for her too and she can't place it? The most I get outta my wife is that diapers are way too hot to wear. She tried one on once years ago but has no desire to do it again. But she will help me put mine on, so I'm happy with that.

I don't know that disgust is the correct word, but she is definitely against them. She just feels that unless someone needs them for medical reasons, they don't belong on an adult. So, yes she does hate the them to that extent. Also, it was a weird reaction for her; she was kind of surprised at the response herself.

[SoCalDL]

Jeff,

one of two identifiable effects cause such a response to diapering and both are rememberance of a supressed memory or event.

1 - as you suspect, child molestation, but this would take its form in a sever aversion to diapers and all baby paraphenilia - so that option is unlikely.

2 - last time she was diapered by someone else it was as a punishment - and considering her history and opposition of diapers, she was ashamed and humiliated at that event.

What you need to do, is sit down and spend time comforting her to allow her to relax, trust you completely and eventually open up to you. What she says, you must not react to other than to comfort and support her. A good way to achieve this is to arrange with her that she tells YOU something personal that you listen and accept and you tell her something personal that she listens and accepts. A third party - ie a therapist etc - may be an intrusion into this with your wife.

She doesn't remember being punished by being diapered. And surprisingly, she does have a lot of memories from when she was very young.

I will sit down with her and see if we can work it out together.

[diaperpt]

If you approach it from this supportive position, I'm sure you will at least help your relationship even if you can't help her get to the point of wanting to wear. And clearly, you are not going to be pushy as you understand there is something in her that causes these feelings. If she can at least be as supportive of your wearing as you are of her not wearing, you're still pretty damned lucky!!

Still, best of luck as you go forward - maybe you can help her get to a place where she'll actually enjoy wearing with you!

[Jilly Poo]

Jeff,

As a girl I was also molested during my early teens and with all the other things that happened to me in my life, I turned to diapers as more of a comfort and a way to stay youthful and innocent. To prevent myself from growing up and having to appear or feel threatened again sexually, I turned to diaper wearing more and more.

Perhaps in your wife's case, diapers take her back to an age (mentally) that was too hard; to close to the age at which it happened to her or the circumstances involved.

I would reccommend that you speak with her and as the others said, support and comfort her. Perhaps she will never wear another diaper but maybe you can help her discover an age that she wouldn't mind revisiting. A time in her life that she felt strong and powerful or that nothing bad could happen to her. Perhaps she was a strong willed teen and might want to connect with those feelings and emotions.

You had not mentioned who molested her and at what age, and I completely respect that, but if she is having such severe reactions to being diapered, behaps having her know that she can make new, happier memories through roleplay with you, might help her heal a little. I am not suggestsing you force her to do anything she is unwilling to try, but comfort her and care for her like a good Daddy would and perhaps you can help her cope with those bad memories and bond while making new ones.

[dl_ashlee]

It sort of seems like a normal reaction from someone who just doesn't feel that diapers can be something that is not just a need. I mean it is deep in society that anyone older then about 4 should not be wearing them. So there is a lot of shame and embarrassment when a non dl/ab is put in one, like now since they are wearing a diaper it is as if they need it as that is the only reason someone would wear one and she could easily just be embarrassed/ashamed. Even if it is just in the subconscious and so that is why the emotional crying from wearing one.

[wetvinyl]

babykeiff: She doesn't remember being punished by being diapered. And surprisingly, she does have a lot of memories from when she was very young.

This would've been my first guess, as well... diapers as punishment. But if that's not the case, I'll go back to your previous reply--

babykeiff: I don't know that disgust is the correct word, but she is definitely against them. She just feels that unless someone needs them for medical reasons, they don't belong on an adult. So, yes she does hate them to that extent.

Which makes me think-- her tears are of sacrifice, and shame, and LOVE for you. She's doing something for YOU which she personally finds utterly shameful and degrading.

Wearing diapers isn't an expression of a loving moment for her, in any way. But she's doing it anyway, despite her shame... because of her love for YOU. She realizes this is something deeply-felt and exciting for you, and she wants to give you that joy. But in this act of giving, she cannot stop her own tears of shame and conflict of "why am I enabling this wretched behavior from the man I love?"

Just a guess. Psy wasn't my major....

babykeiff: I will sit down with her and see if we can work it out together.

Yes, please do... you've got a hell of a lady there.

wv