You Know You Are Getting Old When...

[BoTox]

I dont know about you others but She told me to call her Ma'am!

Well, that's an interesting picture. Can't say that I didn't like it.

To the topic though: Guys, you're old if you have to take Viagra to keep from peeing on your shoes!

[Guest Guest]

I actually dated a girl who looked exactly like a real life version of that dominatrix. After the first six months she found out about the diaperplay and I was often diapered and spanked and led around the house with a collar and leash. Kinda of cool, my ex and the cartoon dom even dressed the same!

[Morv]

This whole ma'am/sir thing... I dunno -- I'm with dldad on this one, when I think about it -- words are just a title, a perception. By nature, think how many of us hide something from the rest of the world -- diapers, being an AB, etc.

I believe it is more important how you perceive yourself than how others perceive you -- and most people don't really know the random person they meet all that well.

With all this confusion maybe I'll just start addressing all random women that I meet in a low voice with the title "mon cherie" or "mademoiselle." That's sure to get one hundred percent positive reactions -- especially if said woman appears to be in the company of a significant other.

Think McDonald's: "And would you like fries with my Big Mac for you, mon cheri? huh-huh-huh!"

Ok, so maybe not...

[Guest VladYvhv]

As to lables... Since I'm a bit of a recluse, I tend to avoid people I don't know. If I must address someone I don't know, I just kinda use some form of "you" (as in "Hey! You dropped yer wallet!") or don't include a lable (As in "Thanks..." or "There y'go...").

Things that make me feel old:

Seeing commercials for "Girls gone wild" and thinking that they're too young for me...

My brother or one of his friends spotting the kind of girl I dreamed about back in jr high/highschool and pointing her out, to find that I think she's also too young for me.

Being mistaken over the phone for either of my grandpas or my dad.

Most people nowadays don't seem to remember The Dukes of Hazzard (the movie's helped with this, as has CMT), The A-Team, KnightRider, and/or Airwolf.

Most of the movies from when I grew up would be given lesser ratings if they were made exactly the same nowadays.

Finding myself attracted to more of the women from the movies I watched as a kid and being surprised that I hadn't found them attractive before.

Wondering exactly when the movie section of Wal-Mart quit selling VHS tapes.

Finding that I don't know jack-**** about most of these "newfangled gadgets" that everyone's using.

Remembering when my classmates and I thought comptuters were something Hollywood made up for the movies.

Realizing that I just barely know how to operate a computer...

Having no clue what someone speaking modern street slang is saying...

Wondering when people started mixing numbers with letters and how anyone could read it.

Remembering that, when most geeks my age were learing to play their roleplaying games, the people of my area thought such things were satanic practicies...

The fact that my Chevy's truck's gettin' old and decrepid and is 3 years younger than me...

Some of the movies that were coming out when I was a kid are being classified as classics. And most of my favorite songs are being labled as "classic country".

And the number 1 of them all: Finding some of the things my grandpas or parents do as immature.

[Guest Guest]

Damn, you mean I'm older than you RMS?? I always thought you were younger than me.

You know you're getting old when your dreams are dry and your farts are wet (hee hee)

Vic

Okay, this is a serious question. For those of you who resent being called "ma'am," what would you prefer? Terms like "sir" and "ma'am" are designed to be respectful. When did they become offensive? Before people know your name, how should people address you?

You're waiting in line at a bank and you're next, but not aware. The teller should get your attention by saying . . . ?

This has come up a lot for me recently and I'd really like an answer.

-RMS

P.S. I'm only 41 and have been battling prostatitis for over a year now.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Guest Guest]

The only label I'm aware of that ma'am implies is that you're female. It doesn't imply age or marital status (anymore), or skin color or national origin or anything else I can imagine. If women don't want to be called ma'am, that's fine, but I'd really like someone to tell me what all women would like to be called. They can't just say, "Don't call me that" and then not tell us what to call them!

Can you tell I've been stewing about this for a while?

-RMS

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hey, I ought to warn you not to call them "Madam", did that once and the lady came unglued. Said she didn't run a brothel, hell I thought I was being polite.

Vic

[Morv]

Maybe we should all carry around short pamphlets with full explanations of our intended meanings behind the titles we use.

"Excuse me ma'am -- her take the pamphlet before you get mad! Third bold word down, definition number two applies to you. There's cross-reference information with the Merriam-Webster dictionary and the OED if any clarification or epistemology is needed on your part -- thank you for shopping at S-Mart! Have a nice day."

But, yeah, I remember Dukes of Hazzard -- one of my roommates in college was a fanatic. He is actually just finishing up building himself a replica General Lee -- funny thing is he's a cop now.

And ah, Dungeons and Dragons -- I actually got told, only like 5 years ago now, by some woman I met that playing D&D would summon Beelzebub into physical existence and he would tear out my soul and I'd be damned to hell for all eternity.

And, ah! The A-Team and Knight Rider... good stuff. Ah, the past.

[Guest VladYvhv]

Cool. Is he goinna try and take it to next year's Dukes Fest? I'm not quite a fanatic, but I've always been partial to the Dukes. I cried perty good when it was cancled . It was the only show on tv that my folks would let me take an hour out of my homework to watch (while the reruns were shown on TNN). I had a set of the old Eartl standard-size toys (whatever's the standard toy car size [about like Hotwheels or Matchbox, etc.]) of the General, Dixie, and Boss Hogg's car, as well as one of the A-Team van and one of KITT. The Dukes cars and A-Team van were damaged by "friends" and the KITT was stolen by one of them. One of the reasons I've had very few real friends in my life... Prior to that, I used to like teaming up the Dukes, KITT, and The A-Team... The perfect teamup (just add a supersonic copter )... I snagged one of the newer versions of the A-Team van and both of the Dukes car packets that Wal-Mart was selling before the Dukes movie came out. I still need to find a KITT, though... Don't have anywhere but Wal-Mart to shop, though... 'cept for the annual trip up to KC...

And here's another thing that makes me feel old: Remembering when some of the new branches of science and scientific research were still science fiction, as was the existance of black holes...

[BoTox]

When I was growing up the teachers were telling us the world was cooling and we were headed for another ice age. Talk about science fiction!

I love science fiction because I plan on living the rest of my life in the future! Hopefully the future of 2001, 2010 and not the future of Blade Runner or Minority Report!

[Guest Guest]

But what if it is the future of say"Dawn of the Dead"?

[Valentine]

Those same scientistst that were predicting a new ice age are the ones now complaining about global warming. In 15 years we'll all be in danger because the Earth's temperature is in a stable cycle and not going up or down.

[Guest VladYvhv]

Me, I hope it's not the future of the Alien movies... Or Jason X... Or Mad Max... Or Deathrace 2000... Or, worse yet, Demolition Man... A world of conformity, radio stations that play only commercials, and everything a senile old guy (the kind who'd be against diapers, not for them) deems "bad for you" is illegal... I'd ruther take my chanses with murderous racecar drivers, roving post-apocolyptic gangs, an immortal cybernetic psychozombie, and the Xenomorphs... Regular zombies and psycho constructs wouldn't be a bad alternative, either. The main problem with most zombie movies are that they're just not real enough... Zombies simply wouldn't exist long enough to turn a significant amout of living people into other zombies... Especially in rural areas... Us farmers'd run 'em all through the combines, hay mowers, haybailers, and brushhogs (for those what don't know, this's a giant version of a lawnmower pulled by a tractor and used to mow down stuff that would damage the hay mowers [including up to 3" thick trees])... We've also got more easy access to shotguns and chainsaws and could work up some crude, but effective flamethrowers ruther quickly.

[BoTox]

Not to mention ways to feed yourself and even some alternate heat/power sources that are off the grid. Plus access to vehicles that will get you farther in less friendly times.

I always thought a tractor with that big hay spike at both ends would have been quite effective against zombies.

I just don't see a zombie future though.

[Guest VladYvhv]

True, nuff. A balespear'd be an alright weapon against the undead... But it'd be more for impailing and moving them than anything else... Now, those balegrabbers (alternative to a balespear; a hydraulic arm that gripps a round bale by closing the gap between the 2 forks [which usually have some spikes to keep the bale from slipping out]) that some folks have on their feedin' trucks. Those things could be modified to cut 'em in half (just extend the length of the cylenders that close the forks). Bobcats with treestump removers could also be useful.

But yeah, a Zombie future isn't very likely... But that don't mean we can't have fun with the idear, right?

[abdljoey]

DollyDiaper,Oct 29 2005, 03:58 PM:

I'm with you on this one Pipsqueak. Being called ma'am still retains an implied age reference. It's like a short sharp shock when I'm addressed as ma'am. and a horrible reminder that I'm a woman 'd'un certain age'.

That's not a rebuke to the person addressing me thus, as it's clearly meant politely, but to copy and adapt drynot's mock despair "When did I become a ma'am?".

Wo/man, I feel old.

Dolly

====

Well, I started teaching high school in 1967 and I was just 21 years old [finished college in 3 yrs]. Was I supposed to think I was "old" because I began to hear teenagers call me... "Mr. ---"

Today I sometimes meet adults in their 30s that I had as a student and they still call me "Mr. ---" as do other adults that grew up in home of our friends; they can't get out of the habit of using the term of respect. [Mind, I do not encourage that, in fact I suggest they call me by my first name now. But am I offended? Not at all!]

Is it really a sign of getting old that terms of respect are taken for granted without a thought... or that one is mystified why a term like "ma'am" is taken offensively?

[Guest VladYvhv]

Hey, at least people're still using terms that're supposta be respectful... What're we all goinna do when terms of blatant disrespect become the new normal method of greetings and whatnot?

[pottypants]

You know you're getting old when you're buying diapers and a lady asked you how well they work, then goes on to explain that her husband has to wear them too, but hasn't tried your brand. It happened to me at a Walgreens.

[babykimmy25]

You know you're getting old when you're buying diapers and a lady asked you how well they work, then goes on to explain that her husband has to wear them too, but hasn't tried your brand. It happened to me at a Walgreens.

I realy don't care being called anything...most of the time i get a hey baby....from some guy passing ...but i realy LOVE to be called ( young lady) gives me a smile

[redneck diaper boy]

I hit my usual drug store for more Attends last weekend. Sauntered on up to the counter with 2 bags of large. The twenty something cashier behind the counter doesn't bat an eye. Rings my purchase in and gives me a 'have a nice day sir' to boot. When did I become a 'sir'?

Man, I'm gettin old.

You know you are old when your childhood photos are black and white!

[diapereddave]

I see nothing wrong with calling someone maam or sir. I do it on a daily basis. I work in EMS, so it is normally the safest way to talk to someone until you either know or can remember their name. It has no connotation as to someones age.

[bignstinky]

easy on the language guys there are toddlers here