Disinterested In Sex

[DprDJeff]

I am very offended you would accuse me of playing a head game just because I wanted to wait six months to have sex. What if a guy were to say he was saving sex till mariage because he didn't beleive in sex before marriage, are you going to tell him he played a head game to his girlfriend who became his wife?

Face it, lot of men care about is sex only and will date women for sex. They don't really care about them. If they genuinely care about them, they will wait for the woman to decide to have sex with him. Even if it takes her a year to start having it with him. I know there are men out there who do care about women and will not date them for sex only. If the lady is right for them and they enjoy her company, they will wait for her to make the first move. I can't beleive you would call that a head game. You must be one of those men who go after sex then.

Yes there are women out there who are also pigs but I think it be harder to tell because most men already want sex so if the woman dates the guy for sex, they both would want it so it makes it harder to tell because they both did what they both wanted. It would only show if a guy happened to be asexual and a woman asks the wrong guy out and then gets bummed out he doesn't want it so she never dates him again.

You are offended by the other poster's comments, but then you talk like the majority of men are just pigs looking to score. I am 35 years old and in all my years, I have found women to be more the sex-chasers than men. Men are demonized on television, because it's funny but that's not real life. I love sex, but every woman I have ever been with has wanted it far more often than I did. The vast majority of my female friends are FAR more promiscuous than my male friends. In fact, my male friends that aren't in relationships rarely have sex and are constantly looking to start a relationship. Close to half of my female friends sleep with a different guy every week. The other half are in relationships.

Also, on the topic of mind games... If you opt to wait for sex from the beginning for whatever reason, that is your right and I agree that your man should respect that decision. HOWEVER, if you have had sex before and then suddenly decide you want him to wait six months to 'prove his love', then you definitely ARE playing head games. That is my opinion. Take it as you will.

[Diaper Lightning]

hrm....

There is this thing that is very special. So special it is only meant to be known by one other. The act is so intimate it is only supposed to be engaged when a relationship is secured- legally and spiritually. Now take that act and do it whenever you want with whoever you want and you have trained yourself to cheapen this special thing... it has become all physical to you?

Flip your coin and be a statistic....

[Nat]

I did not have sex when I met my bf. I waited six months to have it. Then we stopped and started again because I was trying to get pregnant and then I found a wedding dress and then stopped again because I saw no point in having it. Then I had it sometime last month to burn some calories. In May or June, we're going to start having it again to try and make a baby and I plan to do it everyday. I suppose you think that's playing mind games? It's my body, my own choice. I don't have to become an object for my bf. I've been told I can have it when I want it and the man has to respect it. It goes for men too. If a man doesn't want to have it and the lady does, she must respect her guy's wishes.

I warned my bf two summers ago he is not going to have a normal relationship with me if he wishes to be my bf. I told him I am not like other women, I'm different. But no he still chose to be with me. I even told him I had it nine times with my first bf in one month and then didn't want it again because I cannot tolerate sticky skin and it was real hot out so I wanted to wait till it started to cool down to have it again so we both don't sweat as much because my home had no AC and what did he do? Bam spent all his time on the computer and never getting off except for when he ate, went to the bathroom and slept, never being with me again so I was used. Took me months after I broke up with him to realize he used me for sex so no wonder he was always with me, he was waiting for sex.

So the last thing I need to hear is a guy asking me for sex and begging for it. At least my bf understands, so he doesn't ask for it. He used to but after having a talk with him about it, he stopped.

I was honest about myself and my low sex drive and how sex isn't very important to me so I don't have it often. I can't even have sex in the summer because it's too hot out. I can't stand heat and sticky skin and sweating. I don't even like to be touched when I'm hot. I don't like to be touched a lot anyway because I get all overwhelmed inside. But I do love to be rubbed.

Society expecting me to have sex makes me feel like I need to be an object to my guy

My mother has always told me it's my body and I have every right to say 'no' and no guy would force his wife to have it if he loves her. I shouldn't have to force myself to have sex just because I had it with my guy. He told me I can have it when I want to have it, not force myself. Thanks to his low sex drive, he be fine having it once a month. But it feels it's high to me though.

I think my mother has a low sex drives too because she said most people have it once or twice a month and I heard people have sex once or twice a week on average according to a poll a radio station did here in my area. My bf told me about it.

[Nat]

And another thing, the more people keep telling me I'm being selfish or playing head games and acting like I'm the bad guy for not wanting to have sex, the more negative I get about sex and the more I will feel it is over rated, the more I don't even want to have it.

[sarah_ab]

hrm....

There is this thing that is very special. So special it is only meant to be known by one other. The act is so intimate it is only supposed to be engaged when a relationship is secured- legally and spiritually. Now take that act and do it whenever you want with whoever you want and you have trained yourself to cheapen this special thing... it has become all physical to you?

Flip your coin and be a statistic....

Its cool that this is how you feel about sex, but not everoyne is going to believe in marriage, that does not mean sex is cheap for those who decide not to marry. Please do not judge others simply because they do not believe what you believe.

Also for the record, and this is for everyone, not a reply to the above quote... there is a HUGE difference between sex and making love.

[DprDJeff]

Yes, it is your body and your choice. However, any relationship is about compromise. If sex with your boyfriend is always on your terms, then you are simply being selfish and self-centered. I'm not suggesting you should give him everything he wants, but if you never give in then you are guilty of the same thing you seem to expect from most men. Are you the center of your relationship? Or do your boyfriend's needs and wants matter as well?

[PampersPete]

Out of respect to Spokane Girl since she has never said anything disparaging about or to me,I'll gladly refrain from replying in this topic again UNLESS I feel I must. And this is in no way a knock on her either. We both feel passionately about this subject and without knowing her,I don't want to say anything that might be misconstrued. We're both right and we're both wrong.

[Aurelius]

No interest is normally a sign something else is going on.

Yes, and many people will take it that way. If my lover in a well-established and flourishing relationship suddenly cut off sex for 6 whole months, I would have some serious suspicions. It's just bad and dishonest, especially if you both wanted it anyway.

[Aurelius]

and lets not forget those who are truely asexual and just have never had and most likely never will have any interest in sexual relations at all.

I think a lot of us would genuinely prefer being asexual, but it just isn't practical or possible. I wish I only liked diapers non-sexually - it could be just another great compliment to the other simple pleasures of life - like sleeping, drinking, reading, jogging, writing (sometimes), conversing, gaming, dancing, making and listening to music and the myriad of great things in life so many seem to forget these days. Sex bloody pales in comparison with a balanced lifestyle. I agree that it is overrated, even only on the above basis. Sex so complicates things

[Aurelius]

Face it, lot of men care about is sex only and will date women for sex. They don't really care about them. If they genuinely care about them, they will wait for the woman to decide to have sex with him. Even if it takes her a year to start having it with him. I know there are men out there who do care about women and will not date them for sex only. If the lady is right for them and they enjoy her company, they will wait for her to make the first move. I can't beleive you would call that a head game. You must be one of those men who go after sex then.

What are you suggesting? Sustaining active and satisfied sex lives on the female libido?

Sometimes it is best if you just have sex anyway. In the early (first 6+ months) it isn't such an issue - just occasionally (every ~month) will be perfectly fine. After that it is in your collective interest to have sex regularly. It will keep you close and dedicated to each other and reduce the possibility of cheating. If it is a good relationship, all things considered, it would be senseless to break it up just because they're not "the one". But obviously never whore yourself around - part of the problem is only guys who are interested in sex now make the first move. All the other guys are afraid to, and they're the ones girls are usually more interested in (at least you would be) and girls are reluctant to make the first move. Then once we start to get into one, the confusion often continues. This is partly why my interest in both relationships and sex is very, very little. It's just too much of a complication and I don't need any more of those.

Partly just my personal approach. If I loved someone properly, I would probably stop being so rigidly professional and successful. It's complicated with me and I of have issues - that I actually see relationships as usually a threat to my well being and better interests. I do not love, but I seem to be coming to accept it.

[Aurelius]

Society expecting me to have sex makes me feel like I need to be an object to my guy

No you. You're in ultimate control of your decisions and blaming society is just weak.

But I agree that our present culture encourages girls to objectify themselves, which actually makes it actually harder for them to have proper relationship and not just effectively a sex-buddy. And yet girls will complain about it when it is ultimately their choice. Stop complaining about society and take responsibility for your actions and non-actions.

[Aurelius]

And another thing, the more people keep telling me I'm being selfish or playing head games and acting like I'm the bad guy for not wanting to have sex, the more negative I get about sex and the more I will feel it is over rated, the more I don't even want to have it.

Excellent point. We talk about sex probably more than we have it, which damages the experience

[Bettypooh]

I think a lot of us would genuinely prefer being asexual, but it just isn't practical or possible.

Not possible? Well maybe. I guess pretty near everyone is going to try sex at some point in their life. Not practical? I disagree! I've been 2 years without it and I really do not miss it. My last relationship was with a TG-loving Lesbian and that seems to be the perfect situation for me. I was the passive one and loved my supporting role in our lives, as did she But there was no love from either side- that had apparently died about 3 months into our relastionship She wanted sex every night- all I really needed was to snuggle and feel loved, occasional sex would be a bit of "icing on the cake". I knew her needs and tried to please her but I really didn't want to spend as much time on sex as we did For myself if there is no love, then sex is just a physical tension relief which I can accomplish on my own without all the other stuff a relationship brings- and even then it's not often needed

Spokane Girl is quite right- for almost every guy it's nearly all about sex Were it not for that few guys would chase girls. I know this because I spent so much of my life as a guy in a guy world- that's all you hear about when guys talk about girls. Never does the girl topic of conversation among guys start with anything like "That girl looks like she would keep my house nice and clean" NO NO NO! All I've ever heard is "Look at those ____" or "Hey! What an ___ on that one!" I'm not saying every guy is like that, only at least 99.95% of them. And it's much the same for most girls about the guys they see- the first thought is about the body and sex. If you want to know the truth about how a person feels about sex ask them if they would have hooked up with their partner had they known from the start that they had a physical issue which prevented having any kind of sex- and look at the expression on their face. That concept baffles them then you see that they suddenly realize how they've let sex paly the main role in starting their relationships- maybe continuing them too

I'm very different because of a lot of things in my life. Sex is nice but I can do without someone else providing it. I want something totally different from my partner- I want a soulmate who will love me even if 'willie' falls off or I get it removed and the surgery makes sex too painful to bear afterwards(rare but I know 2 TS's who ended up like that). I want the person whether there's sex or not After all, even with a normal sex life you're having sex a tiny percentage of the time you're together so perhaps that is what it's value should equal.

Your Mileage Will Most Certainly Vary

Bettypooh

[whiterabbit1023]

Over 2000 times? Assuming you started at 16 then that works out to about 6 times a day, every day.

No wonder you're disinterested. Anything that isn't necessarily essential that I'd do 6x a day I would get disinterested in.

In fairness I've always been disinterested in it. I split up with both my ex gf and a couple other girls over the issue. Although I know why. I don't really want to touch it.

I am almost 21, but 6 times a day since i was 16 would be like over 10k times...I did the quick math and it was barely over 1 time a day...im not a whore lol, just have had 2 very, 1 extremely, sexually active lady friends lol

[paradox]

And another thing, the more people keep telling me I'm being selfish or playing head games and acting like I'm the bad guy for not wanting to have sex, the more negative I get about sex and the more I will feel it is over rated, the more I don't even want to have it.

I will agree with you, its your body, you can do what you want. Please tell me you let the guy know all this though or he will most likely think your really screwing with his head. Despite the fact it is your body a relationship is still based on two individuals coming together (no pun intended) and if your mind is changed frequently, be it sex or anything else in the relationship with no communication, even the best guy is gonna jump ship.

[Guest Lilfur93]

I am only 15 so sex isn't something I have experienced yet. And truthfully, it is something I rarely ever, if ever think about. I consider myself straight and I want to get married eventually and have some kids. But I really don't see a point in sex except for reproduction. I have a feeling that sex won't be a "fun" thing for me to do. Masturbating doesn't turn me on at all and it takes forever for me to get an erection...while I can go on diaper sites and read stories or look at pictures or just read diaper forums...and I will get a boner like that. Which is weird, since I don't relate me being a DL to sexual stuff....

[Necare]

I am only 15 so sex isn't something I have experienced yet. And truthfully, it is something I rarely ever, if ever think about. I consider myself straight and I want to get married eventually and have some kids. But I really don't see a point in sex except for reproduction. I have a feeling that sex won't be a "fun" thing for me to do. Masturbating doesn't turn me on at all and it takes forever for me to get an erection...while I can go on diaper sites and read stories or look at pictures or just read diaper forums...and I will get a boner like that. Which is weird, since I don't relate me being a DL to sexual stuff....

Well, you really should not be here, should you now? You are 15 years old, this forum is for adults only.

[Guest Lilfur93]

I have recently discovered that in another thread. But as long as I still have my account, I'll post.

They let my register even when I put in 15 as my real age.

I also went to this site through google, so I never saw the adults only thing on the homepage.