Uh. Therapy!

[Sophie ♥]

*ignores all previous comments, due to lack of sense making*

I do however say that looking like a girl is all I need. I already am a girl, but for some reason that doesn't satisfy my head.

I might start seeing my therapist two days a week. I don't know why i'm rushing so much. I have time right?

Nonetheless, I want to talk to her more. I like her and she really makes me feel real. She makes all this seem possible. She's helping a lot too.

I have a year of hormones to make sure I want the surgery anyway.

-Sophie

[Saschadzg]

*ignores all previous comments, due to lack of sense making*

I do however say that looking like a girl is all I need.

Hello Sophie,

My dream was wetting my diapers like a girl. It took 2,5 years to fulfil my dream. HRT was just the start off.

Babygirl Kvetinka

[clive]

I'm with those who suggest you just try the dress-up, or real life experience, as I think it's called. make sure you want the full procedure 100% without any doubts before you have it done. But if it's what you really want to do, then go for it. It's your life, and it's the only one you've got, so do whatever will make you happiest.

I'm kinda in the same boat as you, but a little different. I was born with both male and female sex organs. I had decided several months ago that I would be happier looking like a girl, even though I had tried to identify as a boy for most of my life. I have naturally wide hips and narrow shoulders, so I wasn't really cut out for the look, so I got implants. Big, bouncy 34DD boobies I kept my penis though. Not because it's fun to give oneself tugjobs, but because I considered myself more of a trans than an actual girl. I identify as one though, and I crossdress 24/7, but I wouldn't think of having a penectomy, just because that remains as a large source of pleasure. So what I'm saying is, make sure you really want to go through with this, and only go through with it if crossdressing and identifying as a woman in public isn't good enough for you (in other words, if you really want the boobs and vag).

[Saschadzg]

I identify as one though, and I crossdress 24/7, but I wouldn't think of having a penectomy, just because that remains as a large source of pleasure.

Hello Clive,

A neo-klitoris can also be a great source of pleasure, when you take the time to carefully choose skilled surgeons, as repositing of the nerves is the most difficult and responsible part of the OP. Living with an unfunctional micropenis would single out me from other women. I don´t want to remain the secret dream of tranny lovers.

Without SRS I would never be fully legally acepted as a female always ending up in male facilities being forced together with men who whould eventually rape me. Hospital or senior citizens´home with other male patients would be my true horror.

Babygirl Kvetinka

[Sophie ♥]

I'm with those who suggest you just try the dress-up, or real life experience, as I think it's called. make sure you want the full procedure 100% without any doubts before you have it done. But if it's what you really want to do, then go for it. It's your life, and it's the only one you've got, so do whatever will make you happiest.

I have "tried dress-up" for almost ten years. That doesn't seem to be going well.

However, I am very thankful for the RLE because although it's more time I'm stuck as a boy, which is annoying, it also gives me a full length of time to determine what I want. Trust me, I am going to use my RLE for it's intended purpose. If I dont like being a girl full time for reasons other than my physical body, I wont change. It's not worth it.

As of now though, I seem to be supporting the full change. But I still have a year to go.

-Sophie

[sarah_ab]

Sophie, just want to say it sounds like you are taking all the right steps for yourself, and its sounds as if things are going well for you.

I hope things work out however you wish them to!!!

[Bettypooh]

......Trust me, I am going to use my RLE for it's intended purpose. If I dont like being a girl full time for reasons other than my physical body, I wont change. It's not worth it.

As of now though, I seem to be supporting the full change. But I still have a year to go.

-Sophie

Hi Sophie

I'm glad to hear what you're doing and that things are going well I'm most glad that you're not short-cutting the RLE. It's the most critical thing to get right if you're thinking of transition because it is life itself, not just fun times and dressing up when you want to RLE is made to be hard because you're going to be burning a bridge behind you when you get the surgery so you must not have the tiniest doubt by then That's what RLE does for you- and if any doubts remain after a year, remember that you have all your life to make this decision, but only one chance to make the right decision if you decide to get SRS and complete the journey. If you're not sure by the end of the year keep going as-is until you are sure Don't cheat yourself; you're worth all the time it takes to get this right because if you get it right all the peace and happiness you've missed will come to you but if you get it wrong life will be as miserable as before- maybe worse, no make that probably worse, and there will be no more hope left for changing that Give yourself every chance and take more than a year if you have to- and remember that there's no shame but a lot of wisdom if in the end you decide to not go all the way or to wait as I have done Once the door to surgery has been opened to you it remains open and you have the freedom of choice. Once you step through that door it locks and you can't go back. If you choose right you'll never look back with regret so go and live and be who you are because you're worth it This year may be tough, but I want to see you here ten years from now saying that you're glad you took the time to make the right choice and that even as tough as the year was you'd do it all over again if you had to

Be yourself whoever you are because you can't really be anyone else and you'll never be happy trying.

Love yourself because nobody else can completely love you as a soulmate until you do.

Honor yourself completely because you deserve it.

Bettypooh

[Saschadzg]

Be yourself whoever you are because you can't really be anyone else and you'll never be happy trying.

Love yourself because nobody else can completely love you as a soulmate until you do.

Honor yourself completely because you deserve it.

My therapist said that authenticity is the key to success in life.

Kvetinka

[TBlazer]

Happiness is being happy with who you are.

Im not sure what diapered dave said earlier, but what is currently there has to be the most intelligent thing said yet on this topic.

Our deepest desires and psychological make up is almost completely dependent on what happens to us as a child. While I'm no psychologist, I dont think anyone here is, and frankly I'm disapointed by the current replies-I don;t think they truly satisfy your questions, Sophie.

The one time I was with a therapist, it was very disapointing. (I went almost weekly for 4 or 5 months) It was less therapy and more "playing along" on his part; that is, the questions were basic and ones I had already asked myself. It was less like he was actually concerned about me, and more like he just wanted to keep things going to get paid. I know thats a cold hearted thing to say, but this is America after all. Your therapist doesn't drive a nice car because she cares about you, it's because she likes making money. The finest psychologists Ive met who were truly interested in their patients worked for social services, not for upper middle class parents who didn't understand their kids.

It seems your therapist is quick to please you (hence the Sophie written into next session's schedule). She knows it'll keep you coming back.

A sex change would also be quick to please you, it seems. But is undoing what the glorious wonders of nature and human evolution have worked on for billions of years really worth it to you? For some reason, I think a sex change would be the equivalent of getting a big mac. Satisfies you at a basic level, but deep down, you really wanted a steak.

In this case, deep down, you really just want to be happy with who you are.

With all the crap kids are bombarded with these days, I think 19 is too young to know who you are, and therefor too young to be happy with yourself, both physically and mentally. I hated the fact that I was skinny and didn;t fit in with the "normal" crowd, nevermind the whole diaper issue, which was a mountain of problems in itself! Hence my 5 years of partying and meeting all kinds of people at college. And my 5 weeks I spent in Guatemala. Because I was myself, I made some of the best, most genuine friends I think I will ever meet, at least for a while. At 23, Im now working hard and looking forward to more soul searching and travel to get out of the small bubble that is my home.

I had the same problems you did at 19. Almost every westernized teen does, regardless of their sexual preferences. You could go on and on about how hard it is to have an inner desire to be a girl, but the fact is your a guy and ain't nothing gonna change that. They're not going to erase your memories as well, are they? This whole desire to act as a girl is something deep from your childhood. I hope you've heard this already-if not from your therapist, then fire her.

Grow and learn to accept this, and you will have achieved happiness. Use the hundred gees to buy a nice sports bike and pick up dudes who are like yourself. You won't regret it.

[sarah_ab]

Happiness is being happy with who you are.

Im not sure what diapered dave said earlier, but what is currently there has to be the most intelligent thing said yet on this topic.

Our deepest desires and psychological make up is almost completely dependent on what happens to us as a child. While I'm no psychologist, I dont think anyone here is, and frankly I'm disapointed by the current replies-I don;t think they truly satisfy your questions, Sophie.

The one time I was with a therapist, it was very disapointing. (I went almost weekly for 4 or 5 months) It was less therapy and more "playing along" on his part; that is, the questions were basic and ones I had already asked myself. It was less like he was actually concerned about me, and more like he just wanted to keep things going to get paid. I know thats a cold hearted thing to say, but this is America after all. Your therapist doesn't drive a nice car because she cares about you, it's because she likes making money. The finest psychologists Ive met who were truly interested in their patients worked for social services, not for upper middle class parents who didn't understand their kids.

It seems your therapist is quick to please you (hence the Sophie written into next session's schedule). She knows it'll keep you coming back.

A sex change would also be quick to please you, it seems. But is undoing what the glorious wonders of nature and human evolution have worked on for billions of years really worth it to you? For some reason, I think a sex change would be the equivalent of getting a big mac. Satisfies you at a basic level, but deep down, you really wanted a steak.

In this case, deep down, you really just want to be happy with who you are.

With all the crap kids are bombarded with these days, I think 19 is too young to know who you are, and therefor too young to be happy with yourself, both physically and mentally. I hated the fact that I was skinny and didn;t fit in with the "normal" crowd, nevermind the whole diaper issue, which was a mountain of problems in itself! Hence my 5 years of partying and meeting all kinds of people at college. And my 5 weeks I spent in Guatemala. Because I was myself, I made some of the best, most genuine friends I think I will ever meet, at least for a while. At 23, Im now working hard and looking forward to more soul searching and travel to get out of the small bubble that is my home.

I had the same problems you did at 19. Almost every westernized teen does, regardless of their sexual preferences. You could go on and on about how hard it is to have an inner desire to be a girl, but the fact is your a guy and ain't nothing gonna change that. They're not going to erase your memories as well, are they? This whole desire to act as a girl is something deep from your childhood. I hope you've heard this already-if not from your therapist, then fire her.

Grow and learn to accept this, and you will have achieved happiness. Use the hundred gees to buy a nice sports bike and pick up dudes who are like yourself. You won't regret it.

i'm sorry but this is quite possible the least productive post i've read.. telling her her therapist doesn't care bout her... goood one... way to help her learn to trust the process.

Then you claim no one here is a psychologist (how can u possibly know that with more than 10,000 members?) and then go on to psychoanalyze what you believe the OP wants...

It sucks you felt your therapist didn't care about you, did you think maybe they asked you the same questions you asked yourself because you weren't answering them truthfully?

and our childhood does not define who we are, while yes certain behaviors and desires can come from things that happened in our child, we are not defined by a set of circumstances beyond our control, no matter how much freud wished we were.

as for undoing what millions of years of glorious nature has done.. perhaps nature made a mistake?

therapy can only work if you want it to work, it can only work if YOU do the work, your therapist is there to guide you to discovering the 'answers' not to give them to you.

Sorry, but it just seems like you are attacking sophies choice to try and discover who she really is and wants to be, simply because the path she has chosen didn't work out for you. i.e. therapy.

[Sophie ♥]

Let me start off saying, I do not like your opinion, TBlazer. Onward.

Happiness is being happy with who you are.

And who I am is not this.

Im not sure what diapered dave said earlier, but what is currently there has to be the most intelligent thing said yet on this topic.

Our deepest desires and psychological make up is almost completely dependent on what happens to us as a child. While I'm no psychologist, I dont think anyone here is, and frankly I'm disapointed by the current replies-I don;t think they truly satisfy your questions, Sophie.

Their replies have answered my questions better than your rant has. I don't believe everything stems from childhood. There's too much evidence disproving that theory. I wont deny a lot of influence is based on childhood, but it isn't set in stone. I'm more of a behavioral supporter. So your theory means nothing to me.

The one time I was with a therapist, it was very disapointing. (I went almost weekly for 4 or 5 months) It was less therapy and more "playing along" on his part; that is, the questions were basic and ones I had already asked myself. It was less like he was actually concerned about me, and more like he just wanted to keep things going to get paid. I know thats a cold hearted thing to say, but this is America after all. Your therapist doesn't drive a nice car because she cares about you, it's because she likes making money. The finest psychologists Ive met who were truly interested in their patients worked for social services, not for upper middle class parents who didn't understand their kids.

My therapist seems to care. That is enough for me at this point. Plus it isn't my money, so that doesn't phase me. She has got me thinking about things I don't really ask myself. She seems concerned. Plus I dont know what kind of car she has... I'll ask next time. Also my parents get me pretty well, when I open myself. They are quite understanding people. I just have anxiety issues. And don't stereotype me.

It seems your therapist is quick to please you (hence the Sophie written into next session's schedule). She knows it'll keep you coming back.

A sex change would also be quick to please you, it seems. But is undoing what the glorious wonders of nature and human evolution have worked on for billions of years really worth it to you? For some reason, I think a sex change would be the equivalent of getting a big mac. Satisfies you at a basic level, but deep down, you really wanted a steak.

This is probably where I started not liking you. Firstly, if i had a sex change, she would lose my business, most likely, which contradicts her motives based on your theory. And it's this boy body that isn't satisfying deep down. And did you really compare a sex change to a big mac? That's just a pathetic analogy.

Also I don't like Big Macs. (Sorry Big Mac fans...)

[Sophie ♥]

In this case, deep down, you really just want to be happy with who you are.

With all the crap kids are bombarded with these days, I think 19 is too young to know who you are, and therefor too young to be happy with yourself, both physically and mentally. I hated the fact that I was skinny and didn;t fit in with the "normal" crowd, nevermind the whole diaper issue, which was a mountain of problems in itself! Hence my 5 years of partying and meeting all kinds of people at college. And my 5 weeks I spent in Guatemala. Because I was myself, I made some of the best, most genuine friends I think I will ever meet, at least for a while. At 23, Im now working hard and looking forward to more soul searching and travel to get out of the small bubble that is my home.

I had the same problems you did at 19. Almost every westernized teen does, regardless of their sexual preferences. You could go on and on about how hard it is to have an inner desire to be a girl, but the fact is your a guy and ain't nothing gonna change that. They're not going to erase your memories as well, are they? This whole desire to act as a girl is something deep from your childhood. I hope you've heard this already-if not from your therapist, then fire her.

People are different. What is good for you isn't good for me. I don't really want personal anecdotes. I just want to know how this thing plays out. I wasn't asking whether or not I SHOULD get one. That's not your choice nor anyone else on the boards. I had specific questions I was asking about the sex change idea. They were obviously directed toward people who could answer them, such as transgenders or people who know things about it. You obviously know nothing about it. In that accord, I agree Sandkat was right in saying you don't belong in this thread.

Grow and learn to accept this, and you will have achieved happiness. Use the hundred gees to buy a nice sports bike and pick up dudes who are like yourself. You won't regret it.

I don't like to bike. I am also not gay.

Why is wanting to be a girl automatically make me gay?

*shrugs*

It just shows your ignorance.

-Sophie

[sarah_ab]

its ok sophie i dont like big macs either.

[clive]

I'm with you on the Big Mac thing. But, in all fairness, I do have an affinity for Whoppers. Mmmmm

[Saschadzg]

Happiness is being happy with who you are.

A sex change would also be quick to please you, it seems. But is undoing what the glorious wonders of nature and human evolution have worked on for billions of years really worth it to you?

I don´t believe in your predestination crap. The next time you get sick, you should avoid medical treatment and accept it as fate. Tough luck, when the microbes eventually win their battle.

Babygirl Kvetinka

[Sophie ♥]

I told my father, my mother, and my step-mother in the past two days.

I am telling my step-sister tonight or tomorrow.

I am still clueless about what i am supposed to do for a college dorm, but it seems like everythings on schedule.

I'm sure you all want to know the reactions of my family, but it'd be boring to write it all down. To summarize, they were very understanding and are here to support me. Everything is exactly as I expected. It's strange how well I can read people's actions before they do them.

There is something i'd like to point out though. My father seems to believe that because I have no physical need to become a girl that getting the surgery is a waste. I tried to explain to him the psychological need, but we're still in a bit of a conflict about it. I see his view, but it means little to me. For example: I'm not really into sex. I don't like it. I've only had it a few times. If anything, people get worried about me since a biological boy my age should be all about sex. Anyway, I have no real desire to be with a man sexually, or a woman for that matter, so he says that if i'm not going to use girl parts there is no point in having them.

My counter argument stems the psychological aspects of comfort. Firstly, there's the social aspect, meaning I can comfortably wear a bathing suit or other very girly clothes without fear of being "noticed" along side the actual COMFORT that not having male parts would include while wearing girly undergarments. Secondly, there's the personal aspect, meaning that I might not be able to be dressed as a girl and feel emotionally stable knowing i'm not one physically. This is my main concern.

We agreed on the following terms: I should do my best to ignore the final result and focus on each thing that comes into play and how it makes me happier. If I focus on the physical alteration, nothing else will make me better even if I don't need the alteration to be content. I told him I not only fear surgery but also doctors and hospitals and knives and needles and medicaiton and anestetics and sleeping in front of strangers. On top of all that, I am extremely afraid of being a physical woman because I HAVE NO IDEA HOW. So... what i said, was "Because of the means, I am afraid to become a woman. I will focus on each step praying that it will bring me satisfaction. If it comes to the end and I need the full change to be happy, I'll get one, but no sooner." He seemed to accept that.

Anyway. Things went well.

I'm gonna go watch House now.

-Sophie

[PArms]

I'm so glad that they were understanding. I bet you're wondering why you haven't told them sooner. Did they also find out that your brother had already known?

You and your dad are at opposite ends of the surgery question. Is there such a thing as a compromise in this case? Can the doctors take away the boy parts and not put in girl parts? I'm wondering now: Is it possible to place the urethra anywhere you want? Does it need to be between muscles?

[Sophie ♥]

I'd perfer to be a girl than a nothing.

And I told them my brother knew.

I am feeling sort of sick right now so i'm gonna go to bed early. Night.

-Sophie

[dl_ashlee]

If you go on HRT you will at some point have to get the hacky sacks cut at some point as it becomes a huge health risk trying to overcome all the T being produced by them. Of course you have awhile until that even, so just do it like you have been one step at a time.

Unlike Gabbie in Transgeneration, like everything was just magically going to happen because she got the SRS.