I Was Just Thinking

[acemanner]

I think we should send this topic in a Toadally different direction

[babykeiff]

Do you have a compass so you can chose the direction?

[freswith]

What is life if full of care we have no time to stand and stare.

And get arrested for loitering and vagrancy.

[babykeiff]

If you send yourself a letter without the correct postage, who do the postal services return the letter to?

[Juliabam]

Can you, instead of recommending grids to me, give them names and numbers if possible. Otherwise, how am I going to tell them apart from other similar looking grids?

Ok then, let's just call them Jim Baanch the 1'st and Jean Luc Pierre Moulin the 3rd.

Did that help you a lot ?

[freswith]

When you get tired of grids you can try matrices.

When you get tired of matrices, you can sleep on them

[Juliabam]

When you get tired of grids you can try matrices.

When you get tired of matrices, you can sleep on them

And when you get tired of matrices you can call dominatrices my number is 1-800-666-666 and I'm said to be diabolically good at forking your froggin behind with my very sharp fork and pointy tail...

[freswith]

And when you get tired of matrices you can call dominatrices my number is 1-800-666-666 and I'm said to be diabolically good at forking your froggin behind with my very sharp fork and pointy tail...

That's the best offer I've had all week! Alas, when I phone that number all I get is the Vatican City exchange.

[Juliabam]

That's the best offer I've had all week! Alas, when I phone that number all I get is the Vatican City exchange.

That is because, the decoder that will translate the number into the right one is hidden under a floortile in the Peters Church right in the middle of the Vatican... Have you no imagionation froggy, and have you no adventurers blood in you.. It's ok if it's green and smells like old men, you just keep it inside you and let it circulate and drive you out on your next great adventure...

[freswith]

Oh, that decoder. It was actually gievn away free with the Beano many years ago, and buried under the tile because a junior cardinal was afraid he might be caught reading the Beano during High Mass.

Come on Batty, you must be able to do better than that.

[BabyJune]

If you drop a Viagara pill into your alarm clock, will it give you a hard time?

I asked my doctor what he'd recommend for erectile dysfunction and he said "Cialis." Well, I went to see Alice...boy, was Alice's husband pissed off.

[babykeiff]

This will give you a laugh. I won't mention names to protect the idiotic.

I was interviewing a prospective receptionist, and asked her for a reference. She replied that she can easily obtain it from her current employeer. I stated that I do not know her employeer (classic way to get a prospective employee to think on their feet). She replied, 'That is OK, I can vouch for him'

think about it, to see the idiocy

[freswith]

She wouldn't be Irish by any chance? From the home of lateral thinking?

[Juliabam]

Do ballet companies have their own tribal tutu's ?

[freswith]

Oh, that's just tutu much!

[BabyJune]

If a tramp gets caught in a stampede, does he get "peopled" to death?

[Juliabam]

do musicians always do dos before wahs or do they sometimes do wahs before dos and do dos do wahs sound better than wahs do without dos?

[freswith]

"A man should try everything in life except incest and morris dancing" - Sir Thomas Beecham.

So what's Morris Dancing?

[Juliabam]

"A man should try everything in life except incest and morris dancing" - Sir Thomas Beecham.

So what's Morris Dancing?

It is a riddle to me how such an ancient frog, who have been around for 7 world wars, and followed the evoloutionary steps from being a blob in the water, to being a fish, to grow legs, to rise from water to land, and finally grow some sort of brain large enough to enter the internet and ask questions, do not know the very badly hidden secrets of the morris dance.

Come on you know you know it dont ya???

Otherwise, see for yourself that you know it already morris dance

[freswith]

Great! That's just what I wanted!

Now, Miss Smarty Pants, Tell us about incest!

[Juliabam]

Great! That's just what I wanted!

Now, Miss Smarty Pants, Tell us about incest!

Ahh well on that point I think Sir Thomas Beecham is right, you should not try that. And if you don't know about it already, I will not give you the manual!

[freswith]

You obviously have the manual.

Did you write it?

[freswith]

Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:-

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,

does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from

Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person

who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.

Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow

that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,

models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little

spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What

are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their

pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while

they deliver the mail?

17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (my fav)

18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those

little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing

section in a swimming pool?

21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one

enjoys it?

[freswith]

We often talk about "flogging the muse" when seeking creative inspiration.

Isn't it just terribly cruel? Do muses work better when flogged?

Couldn't we just take them out and buy them dinner with a good bottle of wine?

Are muses are into BDSM?

Should there be a particular muse of fetishes?

Called....Floggia?

Just some thoughts.