Looking For A Little Help Here

[anirishfire]

So... My boyfriend, lasardas, is really into diapers and I'm not. I tried it with him a few times and it just wasn't for me. I don't mind that he's into it, I just don't really want to be involved. I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar issue and if you have any advice for me. We've been together over 3 years and there is no chance of me ending the relationship over this, its just causing a strain and I'm looking for other options to help us communicate better about it.

[Pipsqueak]

First off, kudos to you for being open-minded and willing to try it. It wasn't for you and that's perfectly okay. There are lots of people here who would give anything for a partner who accepted that part of them, regardless of whether they participate or not.

Relationships are complicated and not everything that we are into is going to be something our partner is also into and wants to share with us. I'm not sure what advice to offer you as I'm assuming you've already explained to him that it's just not your thing but you don't mind if he indulges in it, himself. Is it possible that he's taking your "I'm just not into it" as a rejection of him personally? Perhaps he just needs reassurance that you don't find him weird and sick for liking what he does?

[curiositykilledthecat]

As a guy I can state just let him know you don't like wearing them, it won't be the end of the world to ytour boyfriend. As long as he knows you are okay with him having the fetish that'll be fine. Also a little compromise once and a while will go along way with getting something in return.(i.e. find something you're into)

[Guest Saya]

I agree, if its not your thing, then I suggest don't worry about it and let him know, as already said, maybe he'll help you find your kink ?

[Guest dl_aslee]

It sounds like you are perfectly ok with him wearing, so make that clear to him. If he is just a DL then all he really wants to be able to do is wear whenever without hiding it. So if you are alright with this let him know that he can wear and you don't mind seeing him in diapers as long as that is true, which from your post it sounds like it would be.

Since you seem very open about it you have to let him know what you are willing to do and what you don't want to do. Also bring up if he is just DL or is also AB. Then you just have to be truthful in what you will and won't do for him. Since he is probably scared that you didn't like it you need to bring it up, otherwise you won't know what he truly wants and this none communication is causing the tension.

[DiaperBoyKR]

Definitely, I would make sure to let him know that you are ok with him wearing and such, but you need to let him know where the limits are for you yourself. If you don't want him wearing out on dates when you are together, or during time you are spending together intimately, whatever, you need to let him know that as bluntly as possible. I will tell, as a guy, that guys are pretty oblivious to the signals that girls send....we arn't wired that way, so we don't really understand alot of times why girls are pissed off at us when we've missed something we are supposed to know. Especially on something like this, don't tell him that somethings ok when its really not. If he's at all involved with the community, he knows how hard it is to find a girl who's even willing to let him indulge his diaper interests (even if its not in the bedroom) and he should be accordingly respectful to your requests.

At the same time, if you have any specific kinks that you are into, I would suggest bringing it up to him. Thats part of the give and take of a good relationship. You were obviously willing enough to keep an open mind with his interests, it should definitely swing back in the other direction too.

[InD]

Welcome to the site and congrats on being open minded enough to try to understand this a bit better. I have a question for you. You mention being together for three years. When did he share this interests with you?

InD

[Curiosity]

So... My boyfriend, lasardas, is really into diapers and I'm not. I tried it with him a few times and it just wasn't for me. I don't mind that he's into it, I just don't really want to be involved. I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar issue and if you have any advice for me. We've been together over 3 years and there is no chance of me ending the relationship over this, its just causing a strain and I'm looking for other options to help us communicate better about it.

This may be better at "Friends and Family" section of the board.

[anirishfire]

Welcome to the site and congrats on being open minded enough to try to understand this a bit better. I have a question for you. You mention being together for three years. When did he share this interests with you?

InD

I think about 6 months in he told me. We were talking and I had asked him if he was into anything different. He told a few times while I was sleeping, and then he finally told me a few hours later when I woke up.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Yes to affirm what was stated earlier, us guys suck at picking up signals. Just be blunt with him.

[Inky_Wonky]

Well be blunt, but make sure you let him know you still love him.

Basically: Let him know your limits - I don't know if it's more than just asking you to wear diapers, or if he's asking you to change him, or whatever. Maybe to establish some guidelines. Write it out, if it's helpful.

Important: Make sure there is some balance too. Make sure you are getting what you want and need sexually or otherwise in the relationship.

What I hear you saying is: You will allow him to wear diapers, which I feel is quite appropriate. Let him has his time, but that means you can have your time too. Balance it out!