Corrupt-a-wish

[underwhere]

Granted. Not only are movies shown uninterrupted on regular channels, it also does not rain dog food on bonsai's three crown. Unfortunately, this leads to the creation of a thousand movies with similar storylines of a production crew filming commercials about dog food raining down on bonsai's tree crown. Furthermore, the ratings for such movies are canned by all respected movie reviewers.

I wish movies could be genuinely entertaining.

[BabyJune]

GRANTED: You are transported back to the 1960s but have now lost all modern technology.

I wish I could be transported back to the 1960s.

[underwhere]

Granted. BabyJune was transported back to the 1960s. Unfortunately, now BabyJune is stuck there permanently since the time machine which transported BabyJune disintegrated upon arrival in the 1960s.

I wish that nobody will miss BabyJune in the year 2011 now that BabyJune has suddenly "disappeared".

[Baby Brian]

Granted, Everyone in 2011 has ADHD and has completely forgotten about BabyJune. Wait.. are we supposed to be missing someone?

I wish I didn't have ADHD.

[Yvhuce]

Granted. You don't have ADHD, You have AD standard definition.

I wish they'd get around to finally perfecting the cybernetic neural linkage for the computer...

[Juliabam]

Granted I am finally perfect now what do you want me to aim for next?

I wish the potholes wasn't so potty

[freswith]

Granted, the potholes get arrested by the Drugs Squad for possession and sentenced to tarmac.

I wish I had another Sunday in the week.

[BabyJune]

Granted: but it comes between Tuesday and Wednesday and adds another workday to the week.

Better yet: I wish for a five-day weekend and a two-day work week with the same salary.

[underwhere]

Granted. Now, the entire week is scheduled with Sundays. Two of those Sundays are considered work days. Unfortunately, since pay checks are not distributed on Sundays and banks are closed on Sundays, you will go broke. Also, since the post office is closed on Sundays, you never get any mail, including bills, so your internet is shut off because you didn't pay that bill.

In Stephen Sondheim fashion, I wish to go to the festival.

[Yvhuce]

Granted. Unfortunately, it's the Festival of Exceptionally Boring Stuff.

I wish I had the ability to pull stuff out of fiction and into reality.

[underwhere]

Grante, you do. Unfortunately, you decide to pull out the alien invaders from Independence Day, which dooms all of humanity.

A wish that frogs will not be so lonely without us humans on the planet.

[Juliabam]

granted, as a complication of none human activity on the earth, bilogy is now free to rule itself, soon new even stronger than human species will evolve and take rulership of frogs making frogs wish they were lonely again.

I wish to watch that!

[Bonsai]

Granted, you are now Darth Weel, emperor of the slave frogs.

I wish for Jedi to come soon.

[BabyJune]

Granted: Jedi arrives in Washington, sees what a disaster it is and leaves.

I wish August would last for three more months (since the oppressive heat finally went away)

[underwhere]

Granted. August lasts for three more months, after which will be an ice age lasting 2000 years.

I hope BabyJune has enough food, firewood, and matches stored up to be prepared.

[Yvhuce]

Granted, but the previous wish didn't include fresh water. The new ice age consists of contaminated saltwater ice.

I wish for an end to the ice age.

[Baby Brian]

Granted, The sun begins to super nova which pre-maturely ends the ice age. Unfortunately it dooms all of humanity to die unless we can quickly leave the earth before it bursts into flames.

I wish our politicians would learn to get things done before it becomes too little too late.

[Bonsai]

Granted, now all the word is under the power of a paranoid dictator who knows very well and applies well in advance all what is needed to repress any form of dissent.

I wish to know stock market news at least 30 minutes before any other.

[underwhere]

Granted, you know it, but mysteriously, your internet connection and all of your phones stop working before you can act on it.

I wish that I was not allergic to fur.

[Yvhuce]

Granted, but now you're allergic to air.

I wish all games had character editors...

[Bonsai]

Granted. Now however all games also have a virus that selects embarassing content from your HD and automatically sends it to your mailing list.

I wish I was able to sleep whenever I decide to, no matter how unconfortable is the position.

[underwhere]

Granted. You can sleep whenever you want no matter what position you are in. Unfortunately, you will not be able to make yourself wake up, no matter what. You will stay comatose FOREVER, or at least until.....

I wish somebody would wake Bonsai up with a punishment spanking.

[freswith]

Granted. Freswith happens by, and can't resist the temptation to swing a bamboo came against the curve of Bonsai's rump.

I hope Bonsai enjoys his sudden awakening.

[Yvhuce]

Granted. Bonsai likes it a bit too much. Now, freswith is in a rather awkward situation...

Granted. Now however all games also have a virus that selects embarassing content from your HD and automatically sends it to your mailing list.

Ha! Critical wish granting failure! I don't play games on the computer! Or have any internet-capable consoles! Take that, modern technology!

Which leads to my next wish... I wish there was no online gaming.

[underwhere]

Granted, there is no online gaming. However the previous wish stated nothing about the games being on your computer, only that the embarassing content came from your HD when all games are played regardless of what computer or device they are played on. Therefore, that content was still sent to your mailing list.

I hope nobody ostracises Yvhuce for keeping such dirty things on his HD.