Corrupt-a-wish

[lovelylittle]

granted! a stranger offers to help you put freswith back together again, but starts to laugh maniacally and run away when you realize freswith's arm is sticking out of his forehead.

i wish my apartment would clean itself!

[underwhere]

(That actually probably IS what would happen if I tried to do a 3D puzzle. )

Granted: your apartment cleans itself. Unfortunately, when you try to prepare a meal to eat, your dishes are cleaned before you get to eat anything. Additionally, when you try to take out clothing to wear, it is automatically put away before you get the chance to wear it. Therefore, while in your apartment, you are perpetually naked and hungry.

I wish that lovelylittle gets a new apartment that isn't cursed with cleanliness like her last one was.

[lovelylittle]

win, i get a new apartment that isn't cursed.

...cept it's in the mountains in colorado and i can't leave because there is a bear stalking my front door.

that sucks, why would i do that to myself?

lols. i wish i could eat as much as i want of whatever i want whenever i want, and never gain any weight!

[Eir]

Granted! You can eat as much as you want of whatever you want whenever you want, and never gain any weight, except this is because you are taking a calorie tracker pill. Whenever you exceed your daily allottment of calories, you will find yourself sitting in a Chevy and feeling something heavy!!

I wish I could find a disposable diaper 3 times as thick as the Abena X Plus and never have to worry about its cost!

[underwhere]

Granted: you find such a diaper, and the cost of the diaper is not difficult for you to manage. Unfortunately, it is required to be manufactured on the planet Neptune. As a result, you can not afford the cost of shipping.

I wish to reduce the cost of shipping goods between places of any distance to zero.

[Eir]

Granted, it will now be free to ship goods between places of any distance to zero, the only problem is that the shipping cost is secretly added to the items and you must solemnly swear never to return them.

I wish it were possible to receive sexy diaper changes and taunting (Did somebody sit their butt down in chili, etc.) with all major purchases!! Buy a suit, get changed, buy a car, get chaned, buy a TV, get changed, buy a bunch of diapers, get changed...

[lovelylittle]

granted! you now recieve "sexy" diaper changes with every purchase. these diaper changes are however performed by an obese man with a gandalf-style beard in red see through lingere O.O

I wish I had a lifetime supply of warm mashed potatoes and gravy. mmmm....

[Eir]

Thank you soooooo much for that "lovely" visual^

You are given a lifetime supply of warm mashed potatoes and gravy, only the manufacturer includes a spice that causes uncontrollable diarrhea! And you get no warning, except a twinge in your stomache, hehe!! (At least you have an iron clad excuse to wear!)

I wish that Jack in the Box would bring back capachino shakes. I had them when I was a small boy and loved them!

[lovelylittle]

granted! jack in the box now serves everything you love, but unfortunately you are forced to move to Ohio forever where there are no jack-in-the-boxes. at least you can visit me now

I wish I didn't have to work tommorow...

[Eir]

Could use a few real world AB friends. And then there is Cedar Point.

Granted, you will not have to work tommorrow, due to an outbreak of the Spanish Influenza.

I wish that stores would carry 1000 count packages of Chai Tea.

[underwhere]

Granted, stores carry 1000 count packages of Chai Tea. Unfortunately, all such stores are halfway around the globe from you, and the cost of shipping is prohibitive.

I hope terryfighter doesn't suffer from caffeine addiction withdrawal.

[Eir]

Well I have not stayed "dry" long enough to find out, am always ingesting, so there.

I wish gasoline would grow on trees.

[lovelylittle]

granted! gasoline now grows on trees, except that since it's liquid, it all just seeps down and gets absorbed into the soil, eventually killing anything that tries to grow anywhere.

I wish cars ran on trash from landfills instead!

[Eir]

Granted, only one problem, the cars emit thick foul smelling smoke!

I wish Abena X plusses grew on trees!

[lovelylittle]

Granted! Abena X plusses grow on trees, unfortunately they provide the perfect nesting material for enangered spotted owls and it's illegal to disturb them.

also, i'm angry because there was no spanish influenza and I still had to go to work today

I wish the outdoors had a thermostat I could turn up!

[Eir]

Oh those overbearing environmental types! (keeps diaper tree as potted plant) (And sorry that you were not relieved due to spanish flu!)

Granted, there is a thermostat that the outdoors have. But a secret cult believe only God can control it, holy war ensues!

I am wishing that I could send send pie o grams to customers I don't like!!

[BabyJune]

Granted. But for every pie-o-gram you send them, they return the "favor." (That's probably why you don't like them).

I wish Thanksgiving food wasn't so fattening.

[Guest *~Andi~*]

Granted. Thanksgiving food is no longer fattening, its now bland and boring and nobody is thankful for it so the holiday has been cancelled. Way to go you, I like that holiday, therefore you suck.

I wish Thanksgiving was reinstated and with even tastier food than before!!!! YUM!

[lovelylittle]

granted! Thanksgiving is reinstated and delicious but now only occurs in 5-star restaurants at $90 a plate.

I wish all food was free during the holidays!

[Eir]

Granted, all food is free during the holidays, but it is only more expensive the rest of the year to make up.

I wish my car could travel at warp 2, so I could go anywhere I wanted within seconds!

[lovelylittle]

granted, your car can go warp 2, but since everything is going by you so fast, you have no idea where you're going, and somehow always end up in timbuktu.

i wish i was not having an awkward text conversation with my brother in law right now about how to improve his sex life with my little sister emoticons cannot convey the wtf

[Eir]

Granted, he hangs up and goes to Risa instead. Apparently, it is one of Commander Riker's favorites.

I wish I had a holodeck in my walk in closet where I could play out all of my ABDL fantasies without risk to my reputation!

[Creepymouse]

Granted - but Moriarty is your nanny.

I wish Star Trek replicators were real. (Not the Stargate replicators, those are nasty)

[Eir]

Granted, the only problem is that the replicators have been programmed by Q's son. When you order a chai tea, it says: "Make it yourself"

I wish they would have dunk tanks at school fundraisers!

[lovelylittle]

Granted, but they dunk you and your diaper soaks up all the water

I wish my little girl's father would get pooped on by a thousand angry birds. I don't care what the corrupted version is, it'd totally be worth it