Corrupt-a-wish

[Eir]

Granted, but I evolve a thick skin impervious to cold water. I can go surfing in Antartica, and everyone thinks you are a wimp.

I wish you can handle the humiliation.

[underwhere]

Granted. You can handle the humiliation.

I wish I wasn't so literal.

[BabyJune]

GRANTED: You now only speak in similies and metaphors, but no one can understand what you are saying.

I wish English was the ONLY language in the whole entire world. (Then we'd never have to Press 2)

[underwhere]

Granted. However, then you must pick your preferred dialect of english, and as there are easily hundreds of those, you will need to wait for all of them before the recording will allow you to pick the one you prefer to use.

I wish I was gifted at learning foreign languages, dialects, and accents.

[Eir]

Granted, you speak in Ancient Egyptian, Hebrew, Greek, Spanish, Russian and Chinese without thinking about it to everyone you come in contact to.

[wolfpup549]

i wish i was 21 forever and could wear and use diapers with out people teasing me

[underwhere]

Granted. You have been turned into a stone statue of a 21 year old, and the statue wears diapers. Nobody teases you, but you also don't have much of a life.

I wish I could fly like a bird, unaided by any machinery.

[BabyJune]

GRANTED: Unfortunately, you also must EAT like one. Care for a worm?

I wish they had a diaper changing station at work.

[underwhere]

Granted. Unfortunately, the only diapers available at the diaper changing station are at least two sizes too small for you.

I wish that there was a syndicated TV show about the AB/DL lifestyle.

[Eir]

Granted, but they humiliate people on live TV

I wish, I could diarrhea a diaper without staring peeps.

[underwhere]

Granted. You COULD diarrhea a diaper without staring peeps. Unfortunately, you have a very bad case of constipation which never goes away.

I wish to be spanked.

[sonicmixer]

Granted, you get spanked. But by a spanking machine which is attached to your butt, and can never be removed. It soanks you constantly, every second of every day.

I wish I could wear a diaper in public without any chance of my pants revealing it.

[BabyJune]

GRANTED: But the pants you must wear are three sizes too large and make you look like Bozo the clown.

I wish I could wear my cute dresses and little girl outfits in public...uh...without being humiliated, that is.

[underwhere]

Granted. The only problem is that now absolutely everybody ignores you.

I wish that the spanking machine sonicmixer gave me also applies soothing lotion on a frequent basis.

[WBDaddy]

Granted. The only problem is that now absolutely everybody ignores you.

I wish that the spanking machine sonicmixer gave me also applies soothing lotion on a frequent basis.

Granted, but the soothing lotion is delivered via suppository, which doesn't do much for your chapped cheeks.

I wish I never had writer's block again. (I bet I know where this one is going to go...)

[underwhere]

Granted. Unfortunately, your ideas come so quickly that you are driven to madness because you have no way to record them all. Even despite that, you try to do so anyway, and you are never seen anywhere without access to either a typewriter, computer word processor, or pen and paper, all of which are constantly in use.

I hope a editor comes along who can make sense of WBDaddy's writing so that at least some of it can be published.

[BabyJune]

GRANTED: But the writing can only be published in "Pravda," and that's only read in the Soviet Union.

I wish there was a June holiday so that I could have an "official" day off from work. We don't have any holidays off in that month.

[WBDaddy]

Granted. June 26 is official "Lay off extra workers" day, and you are laid off.

I wish I had a magic pill that could get rid of my beer belly.

[I M Soaked]

Granted: Scientists have decovered a pill that reduces Beer belly..........The side effect is... that you rear end expands beyond the capacity of even the largest of diapers.

I wish the job market were to return to natural born citezens of this great country.

[underwhere]

Granted. Unfortunately, due to the enormous cost of acquiring a college education and advanced degrees and the specialized educational experience required to fill those jobs, the jobs remain vacant rather than being filled, and the result of that is a longstanding economic depression.

I wish that I, personally, will never be unemployed.

[WBDaddy]

I wish that I, personally, will never be unemployed.

Granted. You will work the rest of your life for minimum wage at a local convenience store, until the day you die. They won't fire you because they really just need a warm body to man the register, and for some reason that is the only thing you do well.

I wish that exercising didn't cause so much pain afterward.

[underwhere]

Granted. Exercising does not cause so much pain afterward. In fact, it causes no pain because you die exercising. (Sorry, WBDaddy, but at least I can make this wish for you.)

I hope somebody comes along to resurrect WBDaddy.

[I M Soaked]

Granted, Now he is immortal and can not die.

I wish juvenile delinquents would learn to respect their elders.

[underwhere]

Granted, but as a result, the whole criminal justice system collapses, and thousands of people are suddenly out of work.

I wish to be more productive as a writer and blogger.

[Bonsai]

Granted, unfortunately you produce crap and not even realize it, so nobody reads you.

I wish no rain for tomorrow.