Corrupt-a-wish

[freswith]

Granted. I win £10.00 That, less income tax, Value Added Tax, Capital Gains tax, Import duty, carriage, exchange commission, postage, tithage, socage, ullage, dunnage, dotage & cribbage comes to .... Oh, you owe me £5.00

I wish that underwhere will pay up!

[underwhere]

Granted, I pay Up, a rather nice fellow. I happened to ask Up if he knew any person or creature named freswith, and Up told me that he did not. As a result, I told Up to keep it all.

I wish to meet Up's sibling whose name is Down.

[Baby Brian]

Granted, Underwhere goes to meet Down, who has Down syndrome, is Down on his luck, and lives Down under. You are now stuck in the middle of Australia while having to take care of Down (with no roads in or out of town or access to diapers for either of you).

I wish I had an unlimited supply of free diapers for life.

[underwhere]

Granted. BabyBrian now has an unlimited supply of free diapers for life. Unfortunately, the machine hypnotized Baby Brian into believing that the diapers are evil incarnate, so Baby Brian refuses to get anywhere near them.

I wish to know what the very last digit of pi is.

[BigBabyGurl30]

Granted, you know the last digit of pi. But now you MUST keep repeating the ENTIRE numerical value of pi to every person you meet.

I wish I always had exact change to buy whatever I needed and/or wanted.

[Eir]

Granted, you have an infinite amount of money, but it is in coins, always in coins, you cannot buy anything more expensive than $10 because the sales people get irritated.

I wish I would get caught by a cute girl wearing baby powder to the gym.

[BabyJune]

GRANTED: Her mommy tells you it's YOUR turn to change her.

I wish I could wear a diaper to work.

[underwhere]

Granted. You can wear a diaper to work. Unfortunately, your boss assumes that the reason you are wearing is because you are too lazy to go to the bathroom, and further infers from that that you are too lazy to work there. As a result, you get fired.

I wish BabyJune has no difficulty collecting on unemployment.

[Bonsai]

No problem in collecting, unfortunately it wasn't real unemployment but a fake that just wanted to hack BabyJune's bank account.

Next day, bank account is 0$.

I wish a bad karma strike on whoever dares to corrupt my wishes.

[Eir]

Granted. But since I wish the same thing as you, the bad luck follows to next person.

I wish next grasshopper that corrupts my wish has very bad luck!

[underwhere]

Granted. I get bad karma, but since karma has a way of working itself out, you get twice the bad karma for wishing it on me.

I wish to give my bad karma to freswith and juliabam, and that it will be accepted by them both.

[Bonsai]

Wish granted, FW & JB get their fair share of bad luck individually, but in the moment they get together, the unfortunate strike of negative events that they now have in common works as magic to strenghten their bonds and make them somehow happy to have a real soul mate.

Karma is however a notorious boomerang, so UW gets a pang of guilt when the undeserved gratitude of FW + JB reaches him.

I wish to find grace through sufference.

[BabyJune]

GRANTED: Grace shows up wearing leather and fishnets and whips you silly.

I wish Grace's gentle sister would show up here.

[Eir]

Granted, but Grace's gentle sister completely dominates you in public!

I wish I looked like my avatar!

[underwhere]

Granted, you look like your avatar, but as a result, you suffer an acute identity crisis and spend the rest of your life in a psychiatric unit in a hospital, without diapers.

I wish to be a composer on par with J.S. Bach's musical brilliance.

[Eir]

Granted, but since you cannot compose songs without farting the notes, you soil yourself regularly and have to wear diapers. However the nurses who change you are very turned on by having a baby boyfriend. The problem is no one takes you seriously as a musician.

I wish it was socially acceptable for men to wear dresses and curly waist length hair!

[BabyJune]

Granted: Now we're all stuck eternally in a commune where we are given names like "Sunbeam" and "Rosebud." Not only that, but everyone has to drive an old Volkswagen Beetle or Microbus and give the "Peace Sign" instead of the "Middle Finger." (I actually like your wish! Got the old Beetle out of storage yesterday and it felt good).

I wish potty training was optional.

[Eir]

Granted. Now I love to poo pie my diapers and am proud of the stench. People love loading their diapers, and society gets very smelly!

[Bonsai]

Your silent secret wish was granted, so now nobody can hear you anymore.

I wish my car was armed with frontal laser beams & rear machine gun, commands in the wheel.

[underwhere]

Granted. You now have a fabulous car with frontal laser beams and rear machine gun commands in the wheel. Unfortunately, I steal it and start shooting you and narrowing the laser on you.

I hope I don't get arrested for stealing the car.

[Bonsai]

Sure, granted, my car also has an remote controlled ejection rocket system for the driver's seat, so before you manage to do any damage, you find yourself in soome high level of the atmosphere.

I hope you fastened your seatbelt and wish that the parachute takes you down softly enough.

[underwhere]

Granted, I fastened my seat belt and the parachute takes me down softly. Unfortunately, I land directly on top of your head and fart loudly upon landing.

I wish that the methane gas from my fart doesn't put you to sleep.

[Eir]

Granted, unfortunately the both of you cannot control the stench!

I wish I would fill my diapers everytime a girl asked why she felt like she was babysitting me!

[Bonsai]

Granted, now girls around carefully avoid to ask such question in order to avoid to actually have to babysit you.

I wish that available women with bladder weakness issues could be for the most part young and phisically attractive instead of being for the most part well seasoned and a bit rotten.

[underwhere]

Granted. Unfortunately, absoluetly none of them are the least bit interested in talking to you.

I wish to be able use magic which will allow me to have a good meal which I enjoy eating appear in front of me on demand.