Corrupt-a-wish

[freswith]

Granted. For the first time Freswith goes to watch a sport rather that playing it, and gets so bored that he sods off and goes flying instead.

I wish I could afford to do more flying.

[underwhere]

Granted. Freswith can afford to do as much flying as he wants. Unfortunately, Freswith decides to hog all of the air space all of the time, and a world protest ensues since nobody else is able to fly. Eventually, sniper fire brings down Freswith's air craft in a huge fireball.

I wish there was a way to accurately predict future events 100% of the time.

[freswith]

Granted. As a result you win first prize in the national lottery. So do 100,000,000 other people. Your prize is 30 pence for a one-pound stake.

I wish we could find a cure for stupidity.

[Dougie]

Granted: Stupidity is cured by ignorance.

I wish I could fly.

[Juliabam]

Granted: Stupidity is cured by ignorance.

I wish I could fly.

granted you now have winfs, but you don't know how to land safely

I wish I could help

[freswith]

Julia takes up flying but her instructors keep suffering nervous breakdowns, and she makes little progress.

I wish Julia a successful completion of her course with the Kamikaze Flying Club.

[underwhere]

Julia successfully completes the Kamikaze Flying Club course. However, since she had such a poor instructor, she lived to tell about it so she could continue to torture freswith (and the rest of us). For her efforts, she flunked the course, and asked for a refund.

I wish that flying courses were not so expensive.

[freswith]

If God had meant man to fly, he would have given us more money.

You win the lottery and go for a pilot's medical The doctor says you are suffering from facies fastidio* and refuses you a certificate.

(*I don't like your face.)

I hope your plastic surgery is successful. (If you want to save money, just have yourself Photoshopped.)

[Juliabam]

If God had meant man to fly, he would have given us more money.

You win the lottery and go for a pilot's medical The doctor says you are suffering from facies fastidio* and refuses you a certificate.

(*I don't like your face.)

I hope your plastic surgery is successful. (If you want to save money, just have yourself Photoshopped.)

Underwear comes out from surgery looking like freswith, still no pilot licence for him

I wish underwear gets a refund and spends the money on a good stylist

[Impulsive]

Granted.. but the stylist inadvertently chop off one of his ears

I wish for a rocket ship

[freswith]

Granted. You get a rocket ship. You promptly get busted for doing 17,000mph in a 30mph limt.

I hope Impulsive can pay the fines

[underwhere]

Granted. Impulsive can pay the fines. (freswith gave Impulsive the money.)

I wish for a credit card with neither a credit limit nor a due date for payments.

[freswith]

Granted. It includes life insurance. Instead of payment, they come and kill you.

I hope underwhere does not overspend his card

[underwhere]

Granted. underwhere does not overspend his card. He loses it (in typical fassion) and then the card is found, and somebody else overspends it. Subsequently, underwhere files a report of a lost or stolen credit card, and the culprit is found and sent to prison.

I wish the prison would be constructed in such a way that escape will be impossible.

[Juliabam]

Granted. underwhere does not overspend his card. He loses is (in typical fassion) and then the card is found, and somebody else overspends it. Subsequently, underwhere files a report of a lost or stolen credit card, and the culprit is found and sent to prison.

I wish the prison would be constructed in such a way that escape will be impossible.

Granted, under a visit to the prison, you find out that escape is impossible in any matter, even for (former) visitors.

I wish underwear can keep his panties up during his stay!

[freswith]

Granted. underwhere wears his diapers into the shower and soon finds that he is showering alone.

I wish the lovely Julia would be a little nicer to this poor frog.

[underwhere]

Granted. Julia decides to stomp on only one of freswith's frog legs, smashing all of the bones in that leg to irreparable bits. (She leaves the other three frog legs intact.)

I wish that Julia and freswith would just get married already!

[freswith]

Julia agrees. Freswith runs/hops a mile (pursued by an amorous Julia in her panzerchair).

I wish I had my sports car back from the repairers.

[Juliabam]

Julia agrees. Freswith runs/hops a mile (pursued by an amorous Julia in her panzerchair).

I wish I had my sports car back from the repairers.

Granted you get your sportscar back, but the mechnics had some problems with some missing nuts and bolts so you get it back with a set of tractor wheels and a suspicious klank sound from inside the motor.

I wish freswith will not try and drive the sportscar too sporty!

[freswith]

Granted Freswith drives his newly repaired sportscar down the motorway at 30mph in the fast lane.

I wish all these cars were not piled up behind me.

[underwhere]

Granted. they all get impatient and speed up, and run freswith's car over, crushing it in the process, along with freswith.

I hope freswith knows how to save a lot of money on his car insurance.

[Juliabam]

Granted. they all get impatient and speed up, and run freswith's car over, crushing it in the process, along with freswith.

I hope freswith knows how to save a lot of money on his car insurance.

Granted, freswith knows all about how to save money on his car insurrance but unfortunately he gets caught and will have to spend the following years in prison for insurrance fraud.

I hope freswith remembers to bring a thick book to read on the long lonely nights, and a tin cup he can use to bang on the bars in the cell door when he gets real bored!

[Total Trash]

Granted, freswith knows all about how to save money on his car insurrance but unfortunately he gets caught and will have to spend the following years in prison for insurrance fraud.

I hope freswith remembers to bring a thick book to read on the long lonely nights, and a tin cup he can use to bang on the bars in the cell door when he gets real bored!

Granted. The book is Left Behind (pun not intended).

I wish Americans weren't such idiots (fixed before anyone noticed I forgot to add a wish).

[freswith]

Granted. Alas, in compensation they elect Sarah Palin as President.

I wish I hadn't used my nuclear bunker for growing mushrooms.

[underwhere]

Granted. The nuclear bunker remains intact for use only durring fart storms.

I wish to fart on freswith before he can get to the bunker.