Help, Please

[littlemiss]

I just became very serious with my boyfriend. Last week he explained to me his fetish for mommy-baby, daddy-baby and baby-baby role play (I hope that I am using PC terminology). All of which include diapers and pacifiers. I love him so much and decided to be open minded to the idea. I have "played" with him several times now and find it very soothing and comforting to both be in diapers, as the baby, and to be the mommy, having him in diapers as the baby.

My question to everyone out there is...I want to get the full effect of this experience. I still feel like my boyfriend is holding back. I think that he might still be reluctant to share/express/play because he doesn't want to scare me off. However, I'm not going anywhere and actually enjoy this kind of interaction with him. Can someone give me some ideas on how I can make the experience more enjoyable for both of us? What is the "next level"? So far we have just been hanging out, with either of us in diapers and pacifier, watching tv or talking. And it always leads to love making while still in role.

I really just want someone to talk to about this who has been around and understands the fetish more than myself. I have so many questions, and even ideas on how to make it more fun, but don't know how to approach it.

Please help me! I really need a mentor of sorts.

~M

[Pipsqueak]

Welcome, littlemiss! Your boyfriend is a lucky man that you support him in his AB interests and that you're game enough to try it without passing immediate judgement.

Essentially AB play is whatever you want it to be and feel comfortable with. The very best thing to do is sit down together in adult mode and really discuss what you like and what your ideal "play" would be. That way both of you understand what's important to the other and there's less chance of disappointment. However, talking about private fantasies can be awkward and embarrassing for some people - especially if it involves wanting to be treated like a baby. If he seems unable to express what he wants for fear of looking silly or turning you off, then you might have to take the initiative. If that's the case I'd recommend planning an evening or a day on the weekend when you know you won't be interrupted and get yourself into Mommy mode.

Here's the key: Mommy is always the one in charge. She might be sweet and gentle and loving but she's the grown-up. So treat him exactly as you would if you were looking after an infant or toddler (whichever age he sees himself). You might give him a bubble bath, spoon-feed him his lunch/dinner, hold him in your arms while you give him a bottle. All ABs are unique in what they want or don't want, but you're probably fairly safe starting with that. If he enjoys it, I'm sure you'll know, and this will open things up for further experimenting. Best is still discussing wants and needs beforehand, but failing that, take charge, Mommy Littlemiss!

[Newroad]

Be patient. I just recently shared my "other" side with my wife of 19 years. it takes patience and time. It is very scary to share this fetish with others due to all the stigma and societies perceptions of what we are and do. Just hold and love and be there. It will all work out

[Baby Bethany]

I agree with what the others have said. It's not uncommon that you feel he's holding back a bit, as it's not easy for us to completely relax the first few times. It will get better the more you do it.

There are lots of things you could do, feeding is fun, you know with baby bowel and bib. Just mash up some adult food or use ice cream or something. Just do it as you would a baby, lots of choo choo noises etc. Generally speaking you can make up you own games, just think what you do with a real baby. However the most important thing is communication, if you have that you won't go wrong.

Enjoy!

Beth

[littlemiss]

You all have been so helpful. I really like the idea of feeding my special little guy ice cream, with baby spoon and bib. He deserves to be babied. I love all your responses. Im sure that he will be pleasantly surprised. I thought that I might put his fav. drink in a bottle (chocolate milk) and feed it to him on my lap while I rock him. What do you guys think?

He really likes to nurse. Any ideas on how to make that comfortable/enjoyable for him? What are good comfort phrases? I have little experience with real babies, so communicating while role playing is difficult for me. I call him my special boy and remind him how much mommy loves him and will take care of him. But want to comfort him and I get stuck on terminology/subject matter.

It is very difficult for me, because he has been doing this since her was a teenager. And I am so new to this I feel like I might do something wrong. I know that there are some lines in role play that are sensitive to the psyche and I want to be cautious and protective of him and myself.

~M

[Baby Bethany]

It's difficult to say because we are all different, so what I like he may not and vise verse.

When being given a bottle I like to be hugged, have my hair stroked, and be spoken to softly "Little puppy feeling sleepy" that sort of thing. I also like to do things like colouring in with crayons etc. Another one we enjoy is bath time. My wife baths me with baby bath (don't forget the bath toys) diapers me, dresses me, and tucks me into bed (with a bed time story) that's great fun, feels really nice too, lol.

He's done this a long time, so trust me he will know what he does and doesn't like. Just keep talking about what you both want out of it, don't be shy. If you are really stuck, maybe you could read some of the stories on here together and then see which ones you both liked.......it may give you some ideas.

Beth

[Knuxie Fawks]

The question I have for you is if he relaxed and went all out, would you be ready for it? I think that's probably his concern. I'd never expect someone close to me to change me if I messed my diaper unless I was absolutely 100% sure they were cool with it. This has yet to happen, but maybe someday.

Also, it's rather uncertain how much to do at first, when you're coaxing someone into this fetish. It's not sexual for everyone, but it's still considered a fetish. Perhaps you should take the initiative. You said you're both in diapers, right? Then, I say play your heart out, and give him the full deal. If he sees you're into it and aren't holding back, perhaps he'll loosen up.

[littlemiss]

It's difficult to say because we are all different, so what I like he may not and vise verse.

When being given a bottle I like to be hugged, have my hair stroked, and be spoken to softly "Little puppy feeling sleepy" that sort of thing. I also like to do things like colouring in with crayons etc. Another one we enjoy is bath time. My wife baths me with baby bath (don't forget the bath toys) diapers me, dresses me, and tucks me into bed (with a bed time story) that's great fun, feels really nice too, lol.

He's done this a long time, so trust me he will know what he does and doesn't like. Just keep talking about what you both want out of it, don't be shy. If you are really stuck, maybe you could read some of the stories on here together and then see which ones you both liked.......it may give you some ideas.

Beth

That is such a great idea to have us both read the stories on here together. Thank you for the ideas and the help. Im beginning to feel better and more confident about this.

Is it common for someone who knew nothing about this fetish (even that it existed) could find it so comfortable and intriguing? Or do most people just "know" that this is what they like from a young age (pubescent)?

~M

[littlemiss]

The question I have for you is if he relaxed and went all out, would you be ready for it? I think that's probably his concern. I'd never expect someone close to me to change me if I messed my diaper unless I was absolutely 100% sure they were cool with it. This has yet to happen, but maybe someday.

Also, it's rather uncertain how much to do at first, when you're coaxing someone into this fetish. It's not sexual for everyone, but it's still considered a fetish. Perhaps you should take the initiative. You said you're both in diapers, right? Then, I say play your heart out, and give him the full deal. If he sees you're into it and aren't holding back, perhaps he'll loosen up.

I dont necessarily feel like I was coaxed into this. He pretty much just began to mention it to me, a little at a time, and I expressed how if this was a big part of his life, then I wanted to try and share it with him. I tried a little, and liked it!!!

I do think that I will take the initiative. I think that we both will benefit from testing out different levels of play. It was two weeks ago that I discovered that this kind of fetish/play existed and I have little idea on how it works, and how to keep it psychologically health for both of us.

When you say "play", do you mean like games? Hide and seek, peak-a-boo, tickle monster...that sort of stuff?

[littlemiss]

I agree with what the others have said. It's not uncommon that you feel he's holding back a bit, as it's not easy for us to completely relax the first few times. It will get better the more you do it.

There are lots of things you could do, feeding is fun, you know with baby bowel and bib. Just mash up some adult food or use ice cream or something. Just do it as you would a baby, lots of choo choo noises etc. Generally speaking you can make up you own games, just think what you do with a real baby. However the most important thing is communication, if you have that you won't go wrong.

Enjoy!

Beth

Absolutely love the ideas!!! Thank you so much.

~M

[Baby Bethany]

That is such a great idea to have us both read the stories on here together. Thank you for the ideas and the help. Im beginning to feel better and more confident about this.

Is it common for someone who knew nothing about this fetish (even that it existed) could find it so comfortable and intriguing? Or do most people just "know" that this is what they like from a young age (pubescent)?

~M

Both, you get people like myself who can't remember when they didn't like it (I started when I was about 6) and then you get people that can be like 35 or 40, who started doing it only last year and didn't really think of it before that.

Often (but not always) the people like myself just "know" we like it from day one, and the more recent converts have simply tried it out and liked it.

Beth

[littlemiss]

Both, you get people like myself who can't remember when they didn't like it (I started when I was about 6) and then you get people that can be like 35 or 40, who started doing it only last year and didn't really think of it before that.

Often (but not always) the people like myself just "know" we like it from day one, and the more recent converts have simply tried it out and liked it.

Beth

It means alot to me that you are sharing. Do you mind if I ask, how did you "know". Did you experiment at age 6? Can the people who have always known and the people who try it and liked it be as equally passionate about it? Was it difficult growing up knowing this about yourself and not having a public support system? It seems very sad that people accept multiple sexual partners and violent bondage fetishes, and scowl at the thought of an adult tapping into their primal desire to be nurtured. Is that difficult for you? How do you cope with having to keep this part of your life a secret from the outside world?

Im just an endless hole of questions. I hope you dont mind. I just am so fascinated, and excited about this new form of expression that I can share with my partner.

~M

[Baby Bethany]

It means alot to me that you are sharing. Do you mind if I ask, how did you "know". Did you experiment at age 6? Can the people who have always known and the people who try it and liked it be as equally passionate about it? Was it difficult growing up knowing this about yourself and not having a public support system? It seems very sad that people accept multiple sexual partners and violent bondage fetishes, and scowl at the thought of an adult tapping into their primal desire to be nurtured. Is that difficult for you? How do you cope with having to keep this part of your life a secret from the outside world?

Im just an endless hole of questions. I hope you dont mind. I just am so fascinated, and excited about this new form of expression that I can share with my partner.

~M

Yeah, I experimented with my baby brother's diapers and messed about laying in his crib. Later I made my own diapers and hid them from my parents, and then when I had money I bought diapers and girls clothes and hid them from my parents instead. Then when I was about 20 and discovered I could buy AB clothes etc, I did.

It seems to make no difference how long you have liked it. Some people can do it say once a month and leave it at that, some do it twice a week, and others live like it 24/7. It varies from one person to another.

Was it difficult growing up, in some ways it was. It was difficult hiding all that stuff, that's for sure. It's a bit lonely thinking you are the only person in the whole world who likes it (which I did until I saw a TV show about it when I was about 19). The Internet has changed all that though, I couldn't imagine a kid thinking like that now.

It is very sad that most people don't accept it, but to be honest I don't worry about that now. I just think along the lines that it will never be mainstream, so what's the point in waiting for everyone's acceptance. It's not difficult because I share it with my wife, and we have a lot of fun. I keep it a secret from the outside world, but hey we all have something a bit kinky we like, well that's my theory anyway, lol

Beth

[packrat]

As one of the older and new members of this group, I recall my first diaper experience (not remembering any as an infant or toddler) when I was, perhaps 3 or so. One night, just as I went to bed, I pulled my constant companion baby blanket through my underwear like a diaper, unpinned. My father came in, (I don't know the time, exactly) and found me so attired. He left and brought my mother in to see it. I was awakened by the commotion but nothing was said, as I recall. That was my first memory. When 6 or 7, I would fashion a diaper from a towel and pin it on. Usually when we were home alone. (I was the youngest) I never really stopped from then on. When I was an adolescent and privately in a diaper, I experienced my first orgasm. I was too young to understand the occasion and what had happened, but the experience was most incredible, and the sensation was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Although I learned more about the event in the months ahead, I was hooked. Forty something years later, I still find the soothing effect most incredible; something I attribute much of my continued use to the experience on that day, and subconscious imprinting by a loving mother and father in my infancy.

I was unaware that there was a group of similar people until after watching a Monk episode several years ago. I had never googled the subject before and bingo. DD shows up. I am still nervous about it. My wife is aware of my practice, but probably not to the extent that I wear a diaper. (Aside from wearing diaper and pants on my commute to work and home, I don't use one often, but do find non-work occasions where restrooms are likely to be unavailable or nasty, and 'cotton up for the duration.) If I thought she would be more understanding, I would be less discrete. And we've been together well over 30 years, so I know her pretty well.

[littlemiss]

As one of the older and new members of this group, I recall my first diaper experience (not remembering any as an infant or toddler) when I was, perhaps 3 or so. One night, just as I went to bed, I pulled my constant companion baby blanket through my underwear like a diaper, unpinned. My father came in, (I don't know the time, exactly) and found me so attired. He left and brought my mother in to see it. I was awakened by the commotion but nothing was said, as I recall. That was my first memory. When 6 or 7, I would fashion a diaper from a towel and pin it on. Usually when we were home alone. (I was the youngest) I never really stopped from then on. When I was an adolescent and privately in a diaper, I experienced my first orgasm. I was too young to understand the occasion and what had happened, but the experience was most incredible, and the sensation was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Although I learned more about the event in the months ahead, I was hooked. Forty something years later, I still find the soothing effect most incredible; something I attribute much of my continued use to the experience on that day, and subconscious imprinting by a loving mother and father in my infancy.

I was unaware that there was a group of similar people until after watching a Monk episode several years ago. I had never googled the subject before and bingo. DD shows up. I am still nervous about it. My wife is aware of my practice, but probably not to the extent that I wear a diaper. (Aside from wearing diaper and pants on my commute to work and home, I don't use one often, but do find non-work occasions where restrooms are likely to be unavailable or nasty, and 'cotton up for the duration.) If I thought she would be more understanding, I would be less discrete. And we've been together well over 30 years, so I know her pretty well.

It makes me sad that you can not completely share with your wife your desires and fetish for diapers. May I ask you... do you ever wish for the companion of another person to share in your diaper wearing? Have you seeked out a "mother" or "father" to take care of you? I ask because I sometimes wonder that if I ever were to stop being comfortable in AB/DD, if my boyfriend would seek out someone else to share with. I just wonder if the connection to your wife is greater than your desire to wear diapers?

(I hope my questions are not too invasive.)

~M

[aarondiaperboy]

I wish I could find someone to do that. But, I would be afraid to do that at the possiblity that she may tell others about it. But I am happy you are seeing eye to eye on something like this. Because many do not.

[littlemiss]

I wish I could find someone to do that. But, I would be afraid to do that at the possiblity that she may tell others about it. But I am happy you are seeing eye to eye on something like this. Because manyo not.

I'm sure that it had to be very difficult for my boyfriend to share with me. He began with letting a little out at a time. As I showed him that I was okay with what he was telling me, he began to share more. It started with little jokes and hints. I didn't know anything about the fetish, so when he came out and told me he likes to be the baby and wear diapers, I looked it up on line. It took me a little while to get used to it all. First he put me in a diaper and I really didn't mind it too much. Long story short...I would be his baby anytime he wants. And the same goes for him...I'm learning how to be a good mommy with trial and error.

~M

[littlemiss]

It makes me sad that you can not completely share with your wife your desires and fetish for diapers. May I ask you... do you ever wish for the companion of another person to share in your diaper wearing? Have you seeked out a "mother" or "father" to take care of you? I ask because I sometimes wonder that if I ever were to stop being comfortable in AB/DD, if my boyfriend would seek out someone else to share with. I just wonder if the connection to your wife is greater than your desire to wear diapers?

(I hope my questions are not too invasive.)

~M

I would like to correct myself.

I said that I wonder if I stop being comfortable with AB/DD, if my bf would seek out another partner. I did not mean that I foresee myself "stopping", or that I am in any way uncomfortable. I just meant that I worry that I, someday, might not be enough (or what I am comfortable with may not be enough for him). This is only my own insecurity with myself and has nothing to do with AB/DD or my boyfriend in anyway.

I think that the hardest part of being an AB is the fact that I am not comfortable with myself sometimes. This may just be the best thing for me though, because now I can be a baby an not worry about all the stresses of being an insecure adult. I am very thankful for being introduced to this "outlet" and for having such an amazing and supportive boyfriend to share in the experience with.

Sorry for any confusion.

~M

[packrat]

Littlemiss:

I find your question interesting and intelligent; certainly something I would have been incapable of expressing or thinking when I was 24.

The depth of our relationship transcends anything like my fetish. And, I have never considered seeking out anyone else who was more in tune with my DL inclinations. Since my last posting a mail order of diaper and plastic pants arrived at the house. I was consciously hoping that it would work out that way. She retrieived the package from the front steps. Later in the evening, when I opened the package, she immediately reacted to the contents. Several items were ordered for her elderly father, but not the incontinent supplies. When she saw the items she asked what they were for. I told her they for me. Previously her knowledge was limited to my use of disposable diapers for a long morning commute. The short story here is that she showed some displeasure with the order contents. I suppose I could have, but I didn't "fess-up" to the fetish. Chickened out, as it were. As this was late in the evening, and it was time for bed, after some last minute thought, I decided to try make another subtle attempt at demonstrating my comfort and preference for diapers. I went into the bathroom and put on the diaper and covered it with one of the new clear plastic pants. I didn't make a special effort to show her my new underwear, but simply returned to the bedroom and climbed into bed for the night. I believe that she knew I was not in my usual sleeping attire, but said nothing. Nothing was said in the morning.

My plan is to do so again one evening in the near future, and see if some discussion comes up.

[littlemiss]

Littlemiss:

I find your question interesting and intelligent; certainly something I would have been incapable of expressing or thinking when I was 24.

The depth of our relationship transcends anything like my fetish. And, I have never considered seeking out anyone else who was more in tune with my DL inclinations. Since my last posting a mail order of diaper and plastic pants arrived at the house. I was consciously hoping that it would work out that way. She retrieived the package from the front steps. Later in the evening, when I opened the package, she immediately reacted to the contents. Several items were ordered for her elderly father, but not the incontinent supplies. When she saw the items she asked what they were for. I told her they for me. Previously her knowledge was limited to my use of disposable diapers for a long morning commute. The short story here is that she showed some displeasure with the order contents. I suppose I could have, but I didn't "fess-up" to the fetish. Chickened out, as it were. As this was late in the evening, and it was time for bed, after some last minute thought, I decided to try make another subtle attempt at demonstrating my comfort and preference for diapers. I went into the bathroom and put on the diaper and covered it with one of the new clear plastic pants. I didn't make a special effort to show her my new underwear, but simply returned to the bedroom and climbed into bed for the night. I believe that she knew I was not in my usual sleeping attire, but said nothing. Nothing was said in the morning.

My plan is to do so again one evening in the near future, and see if some discussion comes up.

packrat,

I'm not sure how much this means coming from someone as new to this as myself, but I am so proud of you! It takes a very brave human being to want to expose such a vulnerable part of themselves. Even if it is to the most important person in your life. The fear of rejection/humiliation is one of the most motivation factors in how we present ourselves to others. I know that with myself, I unfortunately care very much about the way other people see me. I have spent a good part of my life hiding the biggest part of my life from the world. That is what I value the most with AB; the fact that I don't have to hide anything. Someone else is taking care of me and protecting me while in this "role play".

It sounds to me that your wife loves you very much. If I were in her position, it might take me a little while to accept and understand your special interest/desire. But after learning about it and understanding why it is so special to you, I would be there for you, even if it were not for me.

You might want to think about how to handle the issue that you kept this from her for so long. That may be something that will be hurtful to her and you might want to be prepared to discuss that aspect with her. Make sure she knows that even though you didn't share this with her from the beginning, doesn't mean that you don't love or trust her completely. Remind her that it is your own insecurity that hindered you from sharing with her earlier. This might make things go a little easier.

Best of luck to you! You sound like a fabulous person, I see this working out for you.

~M

[packrat]

Littlemiss:

Thank you for the very kind words. You have given me something to ponder on this matter. I will 'report back' on my progress from time to time. In this regard, I wish you well also. This group has been amazingly helpful to me in the short time that I have been involved.

Regards,

Packrat