Told My Mom! Not Good!

[~*ChristieLuv*~]

Hi there, I'm ChristieLuv and I read what your parents are doing. I can so relate. My parents were very into religious fundamentalism and I worried about them. I came out to my parents at 16. Not only being an AB but also that I am transgendered. So yeesh it was rough how they reacted. They said if I didn't change they would throw me out of the house. While I didn't have any money or a place to stay. I was playing along with them saying I would change but in the end the price of conformity is everyone loves you except yourself. When someone can't accept someone because they are only different and prejudges them because it is something they do not know about, it hurts themselves as well as the people around them. I couldn't go on to pretend to be someone I am not to fit idealogies that are hurting my parents in the first place.

Just like you at the same time I couldn't stand them to shun me. So I sat them down and nicely explained to them that what I do is only different and does not harm anything. Everyone is different atleast in some way, which means there is no such thing as "normal". I think we should respect each other for our differences. It is the best way to and carry each other, love each other and evolve as a society. It is very likely their very idea of normal is what makes them scared when they see something different and make bad prejudgements about it. With every person comes their own independent mind and creativity. That is something special and to be embraced. Words like "freak" or "weird" are irrational and mean words someone uses when they see something different and can't explain. So I will not aknowledge it when someone tries to call me that just because of who I am. Only feel sorry for them for having a closed mind that limits their capabilities. This simply my way of expressing myself.

Then I asked them why would they shun me because of my AB and TG ways. Do they love conforming people into an irrational view more than they love me? I knew that wasn't true but I had to point out that it was how the were acting. Then I explained that I will not lie to them anymore and there is no rational reason why I should change. If they love me they will have to accept me for who I am.

Now I am 23 and even though it was tough at first they gladly accept me for who I am. Even my whole family even though only a some had trouble accepting it at first but I can't encourage that kind of behaviour so kept expressing myself and explain to them what I am all about.

I worry about people who go to those "christian counselors" and especially the camps. While it sounds like she is nice on some things I am concerned about the "no masterbation, AB can't be sexual, men can't have relationships with men" claims. Absolutley ALL of those claims are consistantly warned about by the leading professional psychological and scientific organizations. Also that their is nothing to change in the first place.

While these people simply disregard it irrationally because it goes against their chosen interpretation of the bible. That is a dangerous mix and there patients could suffer from mental illness as a result.

Here are some sources where the leading scientific orgs talk about that:

Look at "conversion therapies"

http://www.apa.org/pubinfo/answers.html

http://www.apa.org/pi/lgbc/facts.pdf

Orientation & Youth A Primer for Principals, Educators & School Personnel

A Publication Endorsed by:

American Academy of Pediatrics

American Counseling Association

American Association of School Administrators

American Federation of Teachers

American Psychological Association

American School Health Association

Interfaith Alliance Foundation

National Association of School Psychologists

National Association of Social Workers

National Education Association

" The most important fact about 'reparative therapy,' also sometimes known as 'conversion therapy,' is that it is based on an understanding of homosexuality that has been rejected by all the major health and mental health professions. The American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Counseling Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, the National Association of School Psychologists, and the National Association of Social Workers, together representing more than 477,000 health and mental health professionals, have all taken the position that homosexuality is not a mental disorder and thus there is no need for a 'cure.' ...health and mental health professional organizations do not support efforts to change young people's sexual orientation through 'reparative therapy' and have raised serious concerns about its potential to do harm. "

http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/reptherapy.pdf

"The movement to change gay men and lesbians into heterosexuals through so-called conversion therapy or reparative therapy is founded on the discredited view that homosexuality is a mental illness, is not based on scientific data, and uses practices that whose ethics have been questioned by the mainstream mental health profession."

"For every story about someone whose sexual orientation was supposedly converted to heterosexuality, there are many other reports of people who tried unsuccesfully to change and who endure a great deal of psychological pain and suffering in the process."

Gay No More?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/htdocs/prod...0301-000030.asp

Reparative Therapy

http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/reptherapy.pdf

Policy Statements on Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Concerns

www.apa.org/pi/lgbpolicy/orient.html

Facts About Changing Sexual Orientation

psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/facts_changing.html

G/L/B Issues

http://www.psych.org/public_info/gaylesbia...issues22701.pdf

Reparative Therapy a no no by The American Psychoanalytic Association http://www.apsa-co.org/ctf/cgli/reparative_therapy.htm

There are also many christians who do not believe those things are a sin and have reasonable interpretation that shows it. Here are Christians that do not believe being gay is a sin and they thoroughly explain there interpretation. They certainly have alot of reason to believe so.

http://www.geocities.com/rainbowchristian1225/GENESIS.html

http://www.churchoffullcov.org/~logosmin/

http://whosoever.org/bible/index.html

http://www.truluck.com/html/the_bible_and_homosexuality.html

Here are Christian denominations (not based on gays) that believe being gay isn't a sin

http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_chur2.htm

http://www.gaychristianonline.org/Links.html#AFF

So there is no reason that shows you wanting a daddy is a bad thing. Even if it is not romantic. It is a wonderful and very special thing that can happen through love. Be proud of who you are and most importantly no matter what anyone says listen to your heart and figure things out yourself.

Take care,

ChristieLuv

[StillNeedCntrl]

I'm not worried about all that Christie cuz I'm not gay!

The shrink didn't say AB can't be sexual. I said it's not. I just like diapers not about sex. And no inapropriate relationships with men, not NO relationships with men.

[StillNeedCntrl]

Let's give our friend the benefit of seeking to have a relationship with his family and trying to help them understand what he is all about.

[~*ChristieLuv*~]

I didn't mean you were gay. I just gave those links to show how many have disregarded clear proof simply because it goes against their agenda. Just to say please be careful.

[StillNeedCntrl]

I didn't mean you were gay. I just gave those links to show how many have disregarded clear proof simply because it goes against their agenda. Just to say please be careful.

Being as careful as I can! Got out of the camp idea but do want to work everything out with myself and my family.

[StillNeedCntrl]

Therapy was not good today. I don't have time to explain as they will be coming to get me in a minute. Should be back tomorrow though.

[Guest Guest]

Therapy was not good today. I don't have time to explain as they will be coming to get me in a minute. Should be back tomorrow though.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I guess he's away at camp now, learning how Jesus can keep him from wanting to wet his pants

[Pipsqueak]

I guess he's away at camp now, learning how Jesus can keep him from wanting to wet his pants

That's uncalled for. If you can't be supportive or offer constructive advice then you should go elsewhere.

[Guest Guest]

That's uncalled for. If you can't be supportive or offer constructive advice then you should go elsewhere.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh come on. Here he is, after dropping the "Therapy not good! Gotta go!" and vanishing, either the whole thing is made up, which wouldn't be the first time, or his parents have shipped him off somewhere or cut his net access until he changes(and not his diapers)

That's been very clear from the beginning that was their attitude. So given that he's vanished now for 3 days, I think it's safe to assume that one of the above 3 is the truth. Which I warned about before. The very fact that they required a "Christian therapist" showed they had no interest in doing anything but 'correcting" what hey see as deviant behavior through religion. Read through his posts, it's the same crap the discredited ex-gay ministries use, like teaching him to get into relationships where he can experience "real love" and pushing everything towards getting him married as quickly as possible.

[Pipsqueak]

^ I didn't think we were debating his parents' attitude towards the situation. It's very clear that his parents' religious beliefs are playing a big part in what is going on. While I don't agree with those beliefs, I do understand why a kid raised in that environment would be willing to go along with some of it to maintain a decent relationship with his parents. And he IS a kid. He's 18 years old and his whole life has been lived within the confines of his parents' teachings. He doesn't agree with all of it, which is why he has come here. You may have a problem with their motives and their religion, but that is the situation he's attempting to deal with. The least we can do is lay off the flippant comments.

[dldad]

Regardless of why he hasn't responded these past few days, this forum should be one in which we can offer some tidbits of wisdom, our thoughts, hopes, additional areas to investigate and mainly support. Even if we don't agree with the situation. We are at least of the same philosophy of AB/DL or anything else in common with our diaper wants, disires, etc. We can hope that everything works out for the best for all involved.

[Guest Guest]

It's not a flippant comment, it's simply an observation based on the facts given.

Remaining positive in a situation as dire as this, philosophical differences aside, is not going to do him any good. You need to read up on what these Christian clinics and camps do to gays, trannies, and whoever else they consider un-Christian behavior.

I'll be happy to provide you links, but most of the time people come out of these situations with major psychological damage that goes on for years afterwards. I agree that he was trying to find a middle ground with his parents, but I have seen, and had to council dozens of kids, about his age that have gone through the same sorts of things, and 5 or 6 of them got put away unitl their parents couldn't afford to pay any more. at which point they were pronounced heterosexual and freed. In the meantime the abuse they underwent was deplorable. I have no idea what they'd do for a straight AB, but electroshock while watching pampers commercials would not be outside the realm of possibility. The people who design these treatments have no training, they simply run on guesswork.

[edlomon05]

it cant really be THAT bad. i mean its not a nazi death camp, just a place really hardcore christians to bring their kids at.

now there could be a few reasons why the dude hasnt answered. i guess we wont know until he appears again.

if he did get sent to some camp, maybe it will be for good, not evil. sure regligious people are odd about stuff but maybe he will find a happy medium in this\ that will please his parents and him.

[Guest Guest]

it cant really be THAT bad. i mean its not a nazi death camp, just a place really hardcore christians to bring their kids at.

now there could be a few reasons why the dude hasnt answered. i guess we wont know until he appears again.

if he did get sent to some camp, maybe it will be for good, not evil. sure regligious people are odd about stuff but maybe he will find a happy medium in this\ that will please his parents and him.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, because having electrodes hooked to your testicals and recieving a shock every time you start to get erect while you're forced to watch porn isn't that bad

All of these "christian treatment centers" have been condemmed by every major group, including but not limited to the American Medical Association, the American, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the American Psycological association

http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Ab...tentDisplay.cfm

Read that, while it's the realtion of a mature adult, the ones that parents stick their kids into, 18 or not, are typically even worse.

[StillNeedCntrl]

I'm home and okay! I didn't get sent to the camp. Actually mom threw away the papers from the camp. I'm never going there.

I told my shrink about the guy I met from online who was going to baby me but instead did other stuff I didn't want to do. She made me see that he raped me cuz he did stuff I didnt agree to and didn't want to do and I sort of wanted to hurt myself cuz I felt so bad about putting myself in that situation.

My shrink and family were worried about me so they took me to a mental health center for the day. Not a nut house like you see on tv. My room was a normal bedroom but they had someone sit with me all day and night. I was going to go home the next morning but the storm hit and we lost power and phones at home so they decided it would be best if I stayed at the center so I wasn't at home in the dark with nothing to do. Just got to come home this morning.

Parents are still worried about me. Mom keeps coming up to check on me and dad made me promise to tell him if I was feeling that sad again.

Get a break from therapy and stuff over the weekend which is cool. And while I was at the mental health center they had nurses to change my diapers which was kind of cool

[Rhezz]

lol

[Lil_Miss_Ruffles]

I'm home and okay!

Get a break from therapy and stuff over the weekend which is cool. And while I was at the mental health center they had nurses to change my diapers which was kind of cool

I'm very happy to see that you're okay (under the circumstances). You have a lot of concerned people here thinking about you hun.

Hang in there and keep your chin up.

Best wishes!

Ruffles

[Guest Guest]

I'm very happy to see that you're okay (under the circumstances). You have a lot of concerned people here thinking about you hun.

Hang in there and keep your chin up.

Best wishes!

Ruffles

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Very relieved to see that you're OK

[Guest Guest]

Glad you're okay Still!

[Pipsqueak]

Glad you're okay Still!

That was me ... I forgot to sign in first.

[dldad]

Glad to see you are back and having gotten some issues out of the way and in the open with your counselor. Sounds like you really enjoyed your stay at the mental health center, especially with the nurses. Keep working at it, and sounds like the parents are coming to grips with the situation more. Afterall I think, being a parent, that what they are doing is for your good, but have to realize that what you think is for your good is different than what they think. Hang in there.

[StillNeedCntrl]

Wow, how cool is it that so many people were worried about me I feel special!

The mental health center was kind of weird other than the diaper changing part. They had someone sit in the room with me all the time so I was never alone and if I didn't feel like talking they would just sit there silently. Very weird. The only cool part was being accepted as a diaper wearer and being changed by the nurses. The nurse that was there in the morning would even come by and tell me I should try to empty my bladder because she was going to be back to change me in a few minutes and I'd stay dry longer if I went ahead and peed before she changed me.

My parents are being cooler now too. Mom said she now understands that I've just been lonely and looking for attention and didn't really care how I got that attention. I guess thats kinda true. Its better than her thinking I'm a pervert anyway! Her and dad both are spending more time with me and talking to me more. They threw away the information on the camp and now only want me to join the young adults group at church so I have friends my age to hang out with. I can do that.

Go back to therapy on Monday. I think still every day for a while longer.

I'm wearing diapers most of the time now. I usually don't wet or poop in them just feel better when I am wearing them.

[Pipsqueak]

I'm glad things are progressing relatively well for you. As some of us have said before, most parents really are trying to help their kids, but sometimes they need help themselves, to understand the situation. Good for you for being open with them. Things might have turned out differently if you had clammed up when your mother found the diapers, instead of explaining the situation to her so she could understand why you wear them.

[Morv]

Just a word of wisdom here, because you seem to be wearing diapers an awful lot more, for you did said "I'm wearing diapers most of the time now."

Your mother found your diapers because you got a little bit lax. Let me explain. If she had found them more than once, as you said that she had indicated, I find it hard to believe you weren't being careless. Either you were leaving the diapers where you logically shouldn't have been, or, perhaps more likely, you didn't pay enough attention to your mother's behavior patters.

Don't make the same mistake again!

Be realistic about how much you wear them, or you might have a church youth group of people your own age figuring it out -- and I wouldn't put my money on someone your own age being able to bite their tongue.

I also don't know your extended family, but they are other potentials.

I'm not sure if you're in the city or in the country or what, but just do keep in mind the possibility that someone you wouldn't think of seeing you might know someone else that you know -- and you may be unaware of that connection.

Just a reminder to keep your head on straight, and don't get carried away by that VIP treatment (man, I think I'd want some 1-on-1 time with those nurses).Remember to be careful -- some people might not be as forgiving as your parents.

I'm not sure if you have a job or not, or if you have a year of highschool left, or whatever, but you should consider securing some sort of income, and go back to buying your own diapers. Your parents are backing off, but it still sounds like they're not terribly comfortable with it. It is, afterall, your thing, not theirs.

I'm not a psych, but it seems that it might be better for everyone, all around, if the additional contact you have with your parents was in activities not related to diapers.

Just weighing in, thinking of two way streets.

BTW, personally, I wouldn't trust any shrink completely... but that is just me.

Best of luck, and peace.

[Guest Dill Pickle]

Wow, how cool is it that so many people were worried about me I feel special!

The mental health center was kind of weird other than the diaper changing part. They had someone sit in the room with me all the time so I was never alone and if I didn't feel like talking they would just sit there silently. Very weird.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Umm, someone is worried that you might hurt yourself...that is why you are never alone....

Get better, depression, unlike diapers, will hurt you....