Second Guessing Myself

[Kari]

I need to realize I'll probably always be this way and I need to accept myself as I am.

After all, I've been a DL practically ever since I was potty trained.

I remember wearing a diaper as a toddler. It was the real deal.

I was sleeping in a playpen and woke up in the middle of the night.

So I patted the Pampers on my bottom (back in the 70's, the crinkly plastic backed ones) while falling back to sleep.

I have issues of not feeling mentally healthy. B/C I am a DL. I feel abnormal doing what I do.

My problem is that I want to fit in.

When a close friend that doesn't know asks what's your deepest darkest secret, I don't want to lie.

I don't want to have to hide diapers and other things when friends come over.

And I don't want to get "outed" and feel humiliated.

I know I will stay this way.

Sometimes, I don't want to be this way.

Sort of like some Gay people that wish that they weren't Gay.

I guess we can't change what we feel inside.

[tris]

Was that supposed to be a poem? Not bad. . .

I understand your ish. We all have good days and bad days; most of the time I'm uncomfortable in my own skin, but I always relish the moments when I'm feeling sexy. . .

You'll be OK, I promise.

[Kari]

Was that supposed to be a poem? Not bad. . .

I understand your ish. We all have good days and bad days; most of the time I'm uncomfortable in my own skin, but I always relish the moments when I'm feeling sexy. . .

You'll be OK, I promise.

Not a poem, Just what I was feeling at the time.

Actually I was "second guessing" myself again and going to take it down since no one replied at first.

Thanks for the support!

[tris]

Apparently that's what we're here for . . . Just remember that you only get one 'You', so be good to it!

[lynniehyde]

Apparently that's what we're here for . . . Just remember that you only get one 'You', so be good to it!

An' dat's da twooth! Twppppppppdddd!

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[just_here]

Who's to judge what is normal? What is abnormal? I mean I've noticed that sometimes we spend so much time trying to be what the rest of society wants us to be that I think we all tend to lose a bit of ourselves trying be that image.

Kari, the truth of the matter is that even your closest friends might not always know everything about you. Everyone has skeletons (or just diapers) in their closets. If you'd like to share that bit of yourself with them then go for it...but you don't have to pressure yourself to tell them everything. It doesn't make you any less of a good friend or anything like that just because you withold information on your diaper wearing habits. Everyone has private indulgences. Yours is diapers...maybe your best macho guy friend likes lavender bubble baths, pink fluffy towels and a rubber ducky

As for your mental status, I dunno if there are more underlying issues and history...but from what you just wrote it just seems you're really anxious. Hopefully in time that will get a lil less, how do I put this, troublesome. If you're worried about the brain...go see a psychiatrist or something if it will ease your worries.

Hang in there Kari and best of luck.

[lynniehyde]

Abnormal? I don't think so. There are many people, in all walks of life, who are ABs. No need to feel "abnormal".

AB-normal? Sure.

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[Aleia]

AB-normal? Sure.

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

Good one!

There's a big difference between "abnormal" and "atypical." I think something is abnormal when it is counter-natural, e.g. your AB/DL desires are truly obsessive and render you virtually incapable of sexual attraction to an actual person. That is a TRUE fetish as defined by psychology, and it is considered a paraphelia.

[Aleia]

And BTW Kari, are those Pampers in your pic the real thing? *drools jealously*

[glenny720]

Hello and just read your interesting post. I would bet a shiny dime that most AB/DL's to what ever varying degrees have had the same feelings. I am 43 and several times have felt like you. For me the main reason is that it is very very lonely. I am an AB boy searching for a woman to at least accept me for who I am so to speak. Maybe or maybe not that is part of the problem for you as well. Secondly I have fully accepted the fact that the general population does and for the for seeable future consider AB/DL's as abnormal!! I do understand that there are loving, open-minded people, I am stating a broad generality with a dose of reality. Will you ever anytime soon see a AB/DL President. Hell its only taken 300 plus years for a woman and an African American to have a decent shot. What if Tom Brady or another Tom as in Cruise came forward and stated to the world that they are Adult babies and or Diaper Lovers. The fact is there "lives '' in many ways would be runied. Yet if this might help you.... who gives a damn what others think!! You are right, what I/we do in privacy that does not bring harm to me or another is in fact knowbodies business. You also stated that you would like as part of feeling normal to share this with your close friend. WOW, I can't count the times I have had the same feelings yet I have never done so and don't plan on it. not even with my very best friend that I have known since I was three. There are ricks involved. Again it goes back to that "abnormal" thing. Through the years starting with DPF I have read several posts and the like. AB/DL's that wispered into anothers ear or got caught and found out the hard way excatly the risks. Divorced, beat-up, fired from a job, ex-communicated from friends/family/neighbors even some who sadly took their own life. I have read the really kool positive stories as well. Yet making a decision to tell a close friend should be based on all the facts, the risks and rewards. And for those that live their AB/DL very openly, I think more power to them! Its just nice to have a choice.

[nappyloon]

Hi Kari how can you feel "Abnormal" when this site is positivly bursting at the seams with other Diaper/Nappy wearers !

You are by no means alone and your feelings will be echoed by many a person here

Just be yourself and accept that you are who you are-an individual who likes/loves Diapers

Try to be accepting as it is the key to happiness !

Oh and if you get "found out" well there is always the "medical needs" excuse !

[BriGuy]

Life sure can be confusing..... I mean of all the weird things in life to be had we have this love for diapers.... WTF Right?? I have struggled with this feeling my whole cognitive life. There isn't a time where I have not wanted to wear a diaper.... Why? I got no freaking clue. Have I felt ashamed? Hell yes I have! Have I felt alone? Yes indeedy! That was until I found DPF and more recently DD and THANK GOD I am among the freeky few who share my feelings! I am so thankfull for all of you people who make me feel a little bit more normal.

With time it may get easier to feel at peace with your diapered side. Sometimes I still feel a bit odd about it too but we can't change who we are. If we could would it be worth it? If I wasn't me than who would I be? We are good people so why change? Those people who excommunicate themselves from us because of a stupid kink what kind of people are they?