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  1. "The Dumb Baby Maker: Full ABDL Hypnosis and Brainwashing. Causes incontinence, blind obedience, helplessness, and infantile speech patterns. Guaranteed to ensure your little subby's brain is turned to mush and deposited into their diapers. Lowers effective IQ 80%!" Baby looked at the box of CD's and headphones. She held it up and skimmed the warnings. "Only use if 100% certain of blah blah blah, ensure decent supply of diapers and blah blah blah... Are you sure you want to do this? If it works the way it says you'll REALLY need to take care of me. It says it makes the user a completely helpless idiot and totally diaper dependant." Her Daddy smiled. "In that case the real question is "do we really need it?" I think we acheived the goals already." He put a hand on her hip then turned her to the side and examined the back of her diaper. "Hmm. Clean for once. Shocker." She smiled back at him. "I can change that if you want." He shrugged. "Maybe later. Lets try the first one." He opened the box and took out a pair of headphones, player, and disk. "Really old fashioned," Baby said. "Yeah it's to save money. Made by Alex's Cheap Practical Low-cost Objective-Based Technology Devices. They are simple ways to acheive specific results easily so we can just move and not worry about it. Anyway, the first disk is called "Complex Thought: Who Needs it?" And says it will target your advanced problem solving. From there we can move onto "The Toilet is Evil: UnPotty Training" and "Baby Says What?: Bable talk For Dummies." He flipped through the disks. "These really target everything. By the end, you'll be a dumb baby for sure." He looked down at his girfriend. A blond haired woman, thirty years old, she she was nevertheless wearing a simple t shirt and a diaper, with a pacifier hanging around her neck, and knelt on the floor in front of him. She was gawking up at him, and had drolled a bit on to her shirt. From the looks of the slightly darker shade of her diaper, it wasn't the only thing she made wet. "I mean, more so then you already are." She smiled. "OK DADDY! Lets go!" He bent forward and put the headphones on her. ... SNAP SNAP SNAP Baby woke up to Daddy's fingers snapping in front of her. "Whoah wha?" she asked. "Whats going on?" "You just finished the first CD, the one targeting Complex Thought." "Oh... did it work?" "Well, if you have to ask..." She looked up at him, mouth hanging open. "Yes? If you have to ask, what?" He chuckled. "Nevermind babygirl. Lets test it shall we?" "OK!" She said, bouncing up and down on her knees. "Hmmmm..." he put a finger to his chin. "Whats five plus five?" She paused. The question still seemed annoyingly simple. "Ten." He nodded. "That's right, Baby. How about six minus six?" "Zero," the answer came easily. "Maybe it didn't work?" "Hmmm," he seemed to think again. "Maybe it didn't." "Try something harder!" "Alright. Five times five?" "Twenty five," She said, disappointed. "Square root of a hundred?" "Ten," she rolled an eye. "Get a refund?" "One thousand, one hundred and fifty seven times one thousand three hundred and fourty two." She paused and thought. "One million five hundred and fifty two thousand, six hundred and ninty four." He took out his cell phone, and she assumed he was checking. "Smart baby. What is the area of a right angle triangle?" She shook her head. "I don't know. Not enough information to answer." "Very smart baby." "Yeah..." She looked down. "Was kind of hoping I'd be... I don't know, dumber." He laughed and nodded. "Yep, me too." "So refund?" He shrugged. "Let's try the UnToilet Training one tomorow, and see how it goes. I know you're still a smart baby, but maybe the other's will work." "Ok Daddy," She said, though she couldn't hide her disapointment. ... ... The next day, Baby was sitting in a play pen in her kitchen, surrounded by her toys. Bored and frustrated, she made a stuffed elephant "walk" around the pen. She picked it up, looked at it in the face, growled and threw it against the netting, then leaned back on her bottom and folded her arms. The second CD hadn't worked either. It went on her head, played its weird noises, and when it was done, nothing inside her changed. And as a result, nothing outside her needed changing either, least of all her diaper. She looked down at it, and growled again. She bounced up and down on her bottom. "NO NO NO NO NO! HMPH!" She said, and folded her arms. "Now now Baby, I know your frustrated, but Daddy will find a solution." "Hmph," She said again, still folding her arms. Daddy, in fact, had already been working on a solution. He told her that if the CD didn't work, he'd try to acheive the same with a "Special recipe" he found online. He walked around the kitchen grabbing pots and pants and mixing ingredients into a massive pot of baked beans, which he claimed would guarantee a dirty diaper when she ate it. From the smell of it, she wasn't sure if the taste would be worth the effects. She turned away from the bubbling pots and groaned. "I don't know if I'll want to eat that Daddy. It smells awful." He looked at her. "Well if the CD isn't working you'll need some way to get there." "I know but..." She shook her head. "Ew." Was all she could muster. He tapped his spoon against the pot. "Alright, fair enough. It does stink in here. Speaking of..." He walked over to her. "Lets check that diaper agian, just in case." She rolled her eyes. "It's still clean Daddy, the tape didn't work." "Right," he pulled her forward and opened the back of her diaper, ensuring she was right. "Yep, one clean diaper after a full day. Sorry sweetie." "It's just not fair! All that time and money, and my diaper is still clean!" "I know, I know sweetie," He bent down and picked her up in a hug with her legs around his wasit and his hand on her bottom, and she clung tight to him. He patted her bottom. "Sorry you can't be a stinky baby." She put her head into him. "I know Daddy." "Well, come on," he said, and began carrying her out of the kitchen. "Where are we going Daddy?" "To the changing table, Baby." "Why? My diaper is clean." "I know your diaper is clean," he patted her bottom. "That's the problem. You've been sitting in the same clean diaper all day, and if you aren't going to use it, we still need to change it like we would any other clean underwear. Otherwise, since you can keep it clean for so long, it will still get gross with sweat and skin cells and fall apart, which is gross, right? So lets get you into your bedtime diaper then some PJs so you don't get a rash, ok? Sound good?" She nodded. "Yes Daddy." "Good girl," he patted her again. "Changing one totally clean diaper for another." (this story is request/prize for BabyVampers on twitter, who won a competition I found to find the "dumbest baby/subby on twitter" and requested a fitting story as a reward)
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