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Ellie Jean

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Posts posted by Ellie Jean

    Too-Soon Monday

    in Scoop The Poop

    Posted

    Same; up since 5:00 AM; decided to stop trying to get back to sleep at 6:00 AM. Six hours and twenty minutes clean and sober. Suckling a morning paci instead of a morning ciggy. Helping with the withdrawal. ✊😬
     

     

    • Like 1

    Emergency Help Sources

    in Restlessfox's Depression Discussion

    Posted

    Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860

    I called a normal suicide hotline and they called the cops on me, who then took me to the hospital's psych ward, so I've never called a suicide hotline since lol. 😂😭
    If I do though, it will be Trans Lifeline; they have a policy of never calling emergency services without your explicit request. 😉

    Suddenly Sunday

    in Scoop The Poop

    Posted

    Oofta...super busy today...lotta things I gotta do in preparation for beginning the program that I've been shirking and moving up a day since Thursday. 🫣

    My agenda for the day:

    - Box up all of Nora's Shoes in the storage room.
    - Hang and box up all my Costume Stuff in the storage room.
    - Box up the Misc. Fabric Scraps in the storage room.
    - Create Boxes for Magic Stuff, Nora's Books, and Big Girl Clothes.
    - Work on cleaning and organizing the Storage Room.
    - Confirm Mom has finished reading Mommy's Manual.
    - Discuss the Logistics with her and let her decide what diapers I'll wear.
    - Have Mom skim the Core Treatment Plan outline
    - Discuss optional Stricter Rules stipulation and possible Reward Chart rewards.
    - Work on cleaning my room; clear and organize surface clutter; wipe surfaces.
        - Nightstand    
        - TV Stand
        - Bookshelf
        - Bedroom Dresser
        - Closet Dresser
        - Walls
        - Ceiling
    - Work on cleaning my room; dust the light fixture.
    - Remake the bed with new mattress and mattress protector; sweep and mop.
    - Finish cleaning my room.
    - Finish cleaning plushies and baby toys.
    - Display plushies and baby toys in bedroom as a visual reminder to behave.
    - Finish cleaning and organizing the storage room; double-check my bedroom.
    - Shower and Shave by 18:00.
    - Put on my first Disciplinary Diaper by 18:00. 
    - Lock myself into my footie jammies at 21:00.
    - Lock up anything that can hide my diapers in the Storage Room by 21:30.
    - Lock up all of my diapers and diapering supplies in Mom's room by 21:30.
    - Lock child safety devices onto the knobs of the front & back door by 21:30.
    - Give Mom the keys to all the locks and hope she doesn't go mad with power.
    - Quit all substance abuse at 23:11.

    ...I don't think I'm gonna be able to do all of that...last night was the first night I slept since Thursday, so I slept like 14 hours...it's 2:19 PM here now. 😳

    Edit: ...Omg I know the perfect song to go with this post lol. 😅
     

     

    My Mother is Going to Start Diaper Disciplining Me Day After Tomorrow! 🫣

    in Scoop The Poop

    Posted

    Oh, and if I break any rules, the Stricter Rules will be initiated using "The Four C's":

    Corner-Time

    Upon my violation of any rules, Mom will send me to the corner next to Rio's cage (our bird); for "one minute per year of age" as the general rule of thumb goes, (30+ Minutes) I'm expected to quickly and respectfully go to the corner and tell her "Sorry, Mommy." to officially begin my Corner-Time. If I hesitate to comply in any way, Mom will begin the Countdown phase. If I give her any attitude or stamp my feet while complying, she'll add a day of Stricter Rules.

    Countdown

    Mom will start counting to three if I hesitate to obey her; either before or after breaking any rules, (great way to let me know she's serious and that I'd better comply before "3" lol.) If I haven't quickly and respectfully complied by the time she reaches three, it'll be a violation of Rule #1, and will add either a week or an extra day under the Stricter Rules. Mom will start counting to three again if I or any of the Others in my head are still being defiant, which will add another day of Stricter Rules when she reaches "3" again lol. This very likely won't go on very long before the Others in my head start freaking out and FORCE my body to comply so they can get their adult privileges back sooner. Due to all disciplinary actions effectively being a "group punishment" for me, my alters will all be forced to get with the program to avoid getting on the bad side of the Others.

    Confiscation

    After my Corner-Time concludes, I'm expected to place my TV, PS4, big girl books, any candy or junk food, and my big girl clothes on the kitchen table. If I'm currently wearing one of my big girl shirts, I must exchange it for one of my more juvenile shirts. While I'm transferring all my big girl things to the kitchen table, Mom will write a sentence pertaining to the rule I broke in the Infraction Book under the current date. After I've transferred all my big girl things to the kitchen table, I must retrieve the keys to the storage room from Mom, and move everything into the storage room. I'm then expected to take a pic of my big girl things in storage with my phone, and the padlock on the door; both in front of the Infraction Book with today's date. I then must relinquish my weapons and gadgets to Mom; she'll hold onto them for me instead of having them locked in storage. After showing Mom the pictures on my phone to prove I've followed the protocol, I'm to hand over my phone to her, and fetch the laptop for her if she doesn't have it.

    Consequences

    Having forfeited all my big girl things, I must retrieve my large teddy bear, clip my pacifier to my shirt, and present myself to Mom with my pacifier in my mouth. Mom will then hand me the Infraction Book and Pen, and I'm expected to sit down and write out the sentence she wrote; ten pages of lines; front and back. Once I've finished, my pacifier may be removed, and I will now officially be under the Stricter Rules protocol for the next week...plus any extra days I might've racked up.

    Downsizing. Multiple cases for sale.

    in The Diaper Store - Shopping

    Posted

    And speaking as a former firefighter, emergency responders really don't care who you are; you're "just another soul" lol. We're trained to be super professional. You could be wearing the gimp suit from Pulp Fiction and the height of my reaction would just be a single raised eyebrow for a fraction of a second before I throw your latex-clad ass over my shoulder and haul you outta the burning building and move on to the next fire call; I may or may not remember you OR the gimp suit LOL. 😆

    Trans baby girl

    in Rainbow Diapers

    Posted

    Fellow transie Adult Baby here. And my therapist has noticed the large number of autistics and Littles in the trans community; we have a working theory as to why. 🤭
    No; he didn't deny pointing me in the direction to hormones because of it. 🥰

    How long in hours have you stayed in a single diaper?

    in [DD] Surveys

    Posted

    Over 48 hours. ...Rearz Mega Inspire+ Diapers should never be doubled lmao. ...Only if you want to PUNISH me LOL. 😝

    On 6/18/2025 at 12:57 AM, DailyDi said:

    Not something I try to get the record at. I prefer a fresh dry diaper to a stale smelly one.

    ...I was literally going for the record lol. I'm weird. 😅

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1

    Realized why its tough to find a partner

    in Our Lifestyle Discussion

    Posted

    2 hours ago, CrookedRain said:

    I finally believe mine has a lot to do with my queer gender and lifelong desire that I'd been born female. Because that feeling and my predilection for pee both began sinking in at the same age.

    Also, I first noticed the desire to be female out of jealousy of my sister. And my interest in pee began with it dawning on me (also because of my sister) that while I knew the difference between boys' and girls' bodies and the most broad understanding of how girls pee'd, I had an intense nagging curiosity to see it and know exactly where it came out of and how they did it in this circumstance or that (including diapers and bedwetting) etc. etc... And -- suffice to say -- started wanting to be able to pee "like a girl."

    Sure enough, the first time I pee'd myself in a pull-up, one of the many reasons I was immediately attracted to it was because the pullups pulled my penis tight up against my body, leaving me with a smooth crotch. And also because my penis pee'd straight into the middle of the pullup. Both of which offered me a superficial glimmer of the sensation of being and peeing as if I was female.

    Mystery solved, right? I don't know about that. I could have just had that one feeling of wanting to be a girl and been distressingly curious to truly feel what that would be like. But I didn't. My brain decided to cross a few wires and repurpose it into a sexual turn-on. So why did my brain do that? I don't think there's a perfect answer for that. Plenty of valid hypotheses. But a singular definitive answer for something that complicated just doesn't exist.


    Big same. I traced mine all the way back to my father being a sexist pig who saw women as babyish, and my growing up thinking I wanted to be a baby again because I was never taught about trans people and gender identity. ...So now I'm trans AND an adult baby. Thanks, Dad lmao. Fucking father of the year. 🙄

    My Mother is Going to Start Diaper Disciplining Me Day After Tomorrow! 🫣

    in Scoop The Poop

    Posted

    Oh goody! I got a stay of execution due to technical difficulties! Got about the whole rest of Pride Month off; Mom's gonna start the program next Monday instead! 🥳

    The fourth lock-out device didn't fit on the front door; we need a bigger one; my juvenile delinquent alter was able to just walk right out and relapsed immediately. 😅

    So glad she decided it'd be best if we start next week instead; I was also hungover, forgot my meds, didn't finish my chores or morning hygiene routine on time, and lied to Mom about relapsing; that woulda been at least a week and four extra days of Stricter Rules right off the bat lol. 😂

    Gender Identity

    in [DD] Surveys

    Posted

    ...None of these really apply to me lol. 😅

    I'm a female who identifies as a girl, despite being observed male at birth, and I'm a heteroflexible asexual demiromantic. 🙃

    What diaper are you wearing now?

    in Diaper Lovers

    Posted

    Not currently, but in about three hours, I'll be in a Rearz Vintage Select diaper. I only have 25 left. So sad they've been discontinued! 😭

    ...Then it's up to Mom what diaper I'll be put in...probably whichever is cheapest and she gets the biggest kick outta seeing me in. 🫣

    My Mother is Going to Start Diaper Disciplining Me Day After Tomorrow! 🫣

    in Scoop The Poop

    Posted

    2 hours ago, Moochie said:

    Those are a lot of rules. Good fortune with you DID treatment. If diapers help with controlling behavioral health symptoms then wear diapers as you so desire.

    So long as I stay on top of my chores and hygiene and mind my manners and do what Mom says without much fuss...I should be fine...it's only if I end up earning a week of Stricter Rules that it gets super tough...and it doesn't matter if parts of me desire to wear diapers anymore...Mom's insisting on ALL of me being subjected to this program...I keep trying to tell her that I DON'T want this...but my body won't physically let me...pretty sure it's my Gatekeeper alter preventing me from being able to put a stop to it before it's too late because she thinks all of the people in my head and Mom will all be better off this way...and I hate that I can't really say that she's wrong...she even convinced my therapist to sign off on it...I'm kinda just resigning to my fate at this point and hoping for the best. 🫣

    Edit: ...And my full list of official diagnoses is ASD, AD/HD, ODD, PTSD, DID, MDD, PDD, and Substance Abuse Disorder...I've been trying and failing to get clean and sober for years...maybe this is just what I need. 😥

    My Mother is Going to Start Diaper Disciplining Me Day After Tomorrow! 🫣

    in Scoop The Poop

    Posted

    Omg! Pleasure to make your acquaintance! 😁
    Has Cuzzie told you I'm planning on fleeing Montana for San Francisco? 😅
    ...Somehow. ...It's getting scary here; it was straight up illegal to use the girl's room here for a sec...might be AGAIN for all I know...just been tuning out and hiding. 🫣

    Edit: Heh...guess I won't have to worry about THAT anymore. 😒
    Just thirty-nine minutes until my last day of unrestricted adult freedom. 🫣

    • Like 1

    Saturday

    in Scoop The Poop

    Posted

    Went to sleep around 4:00 AM...woke up around 11:00 AM...days and nights get messed up for me a lot because of my DID, PTSD, AD/HD and chronic use of stimulants to keep myself awake. ...Been procrastinating a buncho stuff I have to do today...mostly cleaning my room so I don't have a giant chore I have to do when Mom begins using the Program on me on Monday. 🫣

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