Wannatripbaby

Hoo boy, it's been a while since I've been here! I've basically been absent since I announced I was moving in with my Littles, Aj & Renee. 

So what all has brought me back here? Well... 

I'm flying back to South Carolina on July 13th.

Things between me, Renee, and Aj just sorta didn't work out. And over the last month or so some pretty serious shit went down that made me question a lot of my life decisions. And I finally realized something:
I'm not polyamourous.
I am a 100% monogamous man. 
I know, tragic right?
This meant two things: firstly it meant I'd never be the Daddy Aj deserved. Because all my efforts would always go towards Renee. Not because of anything he was doing wrong, but simply because it's in my nature to only be able to maintain 1 serious relationship at a time. And that's not fair to him.
But the other thing I realized was even worse: Renee would never be the partner I needed her to be. Because from day 1 I always felt like I was in competition for her affections with Aj. And even if Aj were out of the picture she still probably couldn't give me what I need because she just isn't wired that way. And it took me 10 months of feeling neglected to finally realize that. 
So I talked to them about it, which ended in me bawling like a baby (Ironic, I know) and they were very supportive and agreed that if I feel I can't be happy with them then I should go back home. There are no hard feelings. We tried something unconventional and it just didn't work out. The only mistake would be trying to stay in an unhealthy relationship until I can "make it work" which would never happen.
This past year has been the best and worst year of my life. My heart may be broken, but I'll be returning home to a loving family & friends. Stronger and wiser than I was when I left.