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scottydeedee

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  1. thanks (a shorter response, haha) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  2. hi, i'm from the east coast in the US, i've just started getting more into diapers again. i remember imagining wearing them as a kid. sometimes i would take my blanky and wrap it around myself like a diaper, and i couldn't pee or mess in it cuz it was a blanket, but i would pretend my dolls were all drinking and doing drugs and couldn't control themselves and had to wear diapers, and i would play with myself while imagining my dolls doing this... to be honest, for a long time, my focus was on the drug part. i didn't recognize that the diapers turned me on... i thought it was just imagining being so messed up that i might mess myself, or thinking about adults doing that, cuz my dolls were adults (or teenagers, but i was a child).. but lately i've been regressing a lot and want to wear them all the time, and i've been messing them a lot more. i used to do that a few times a year. now it's like twice a day. i even did it in my car tonight on the way home, which was an exhilarating risk for me because had i got a flat or an accident i would have been stuck in a messy diaper in a situation that it might be hard to not get caught. i worry about people finding out but i recently told my 2 therapists i work with and they both said it was okay and a good coping skill and they are glad i told them because i've been working with them for a long time and tell them everything else, but they knew there was something i was holding onto bringing me shame. we are also talking about my littles, of which i have at least 2 or 3, and i say i HAVE them because they are basically alternate personalities because i have severe PTSD and one of the ways i have coped was to develop other personalities and so i'm trying to come to terms with that. my main one is Jayme. he is a 4 year old boy in a girl's body who just wants to be a regular boy. my other 2 littles i don't know as much about. there is scotty who is 12 and smoosh who is a baby and sexually turned on most by being treated like a baby and taken care of, but i also just find it comforting... also, i feel like me as an almost 40 year old also likes wearing them. but then again, most of me is made up of my littles who like wearing them although the 12 year old is ashamed and embarrassed by it. but i have only really figured out this much very recently. i was subconsciously aware, but just starting to put the pieces together. anyway, if anyone wants to talk, i am mostly into men right now, both sexually and just in general. i was raised female, born both sexes, but my penis was cut off at birth and that is a part of why i like diapers, it gives me a bulge and also feels like armor over parts that i am ashamed of. i have been living as a man for over a decade and i am pansexual but been leaning towards men, which is weird since there was a time i considered myself a lesbian and now im more of a gay man. anyway... that is my into... oh and im an artist and writer and i love music and movies and good tv and cooking and vaping and am about to start collecting adult baby clothes when i can afford them. just found some awesome onesies. i am poor but i should be able to get one next month. anyway, that's me
  3. thanks for your response. personally i was sexual at age 12 so it makes sense that my sexual little is 12. my 4 year old just likes to hug and watch kids movies and all that normal kids stuff. he cries and craves being changed and a bottle even though that is for babies and he is 4. but the 12 year old is different and still trying to figure them out. i probably have multiple personalities to be honest. i have severe complex PTSD and that could account for some of this confusion Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  4. i subconsciously have been into it as long as i can remember but i didn't actually wear a diaper until my late 20's from the time i was less than 2 years old. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  5. i feel like i am around 4 years old but that i like things that are too old and too young for me like diapers and bottles but also smoking, drinking and sex. but the part of me that likes smoking, drinking and sex might be a separate little who is 12 and also likes diapers. but the 4 year old also likes to be touched when i'm being changed like a baby. i'm just learning about this stuff about myself/selves but i definitely feel like a child who is too old for diapers but diapers comfort me and i feel like i am also a rebellious and curious child who likes to do adult stuff as a child. i think of myself as a war child Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  6. i just recently started sleeping with a diaper on most nights. i like to sleep with a wet diaper on even though i don't wet myself while sleeping. it is a comfort to curl up with my stuffed animal and a bottle in a wet diaper. nothing is more cozy Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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