smilekat414

It's a decent story, Jezebel's well characterized as a flirt and I think the twist that everyone else at the restaurant is working with Crystal to get rid of her is a decent one. That said I think it suffers from some pacing issues, and Crystal and the setting feel underdeveloped. If you're open to some feedback, I'd recommend taking a little longer to build up to everything, like maybe a little longer with her working before Crystal arrives, and then maybe spend a little longer with Jezebel having to work in the diaper before Crystal has her sit down. Crystal would benefit from a little more characterization, I don't mean like a novel or anything but a few paragraphs about their past together, maybe something to explain why she wants Jezebel as her baby girl? The other thing might be some more world building. Like this seems to be a world where Littles and Caretakers are a thing, maybe establish that more. Maybe go into more detail on why Jezebel's finances are so precarious, or what exactly are the rules of the restaurant (so we have a better idea of why her actions are irritating the manager) or maybe some examples of what counts as a reasonable birthday request? Like I said its a decent story, I enjoyed it, but it feels like a bit more expansion would make a big difference.

Ok this appears to be going the very dark route. I will say that perverted mage who comes up with sexual applications for spells and monsters, and heroine with a god complex who replaces the oppressive evil system with one based on her own fetishes are both characters I could actually see at an rpg table (or in an iseki) so good job there. I'm kinda interested in seeing what the Queen says when she finally explains why she doing this, and I'm also somewhat reluctantly want to know more about this worlds apparent population of sexual monsters, so I'll keep checking this out.

Ok this is a very different setup, so I'm interested in where it goes, I can see two obvious directions, one sorta dark, and one very very dark.

Ok interesting, I wonder how the test works exactly, I'm guessing different types of people react differently to the screen? Interesting premise I will be waiting to see where it goes.

Well this has been a brutal arc, and that was a good twist, and it brought together allot of threads and answered allot of questions that have been running through this whole story. I was expecting next chapter would be a cool off but it looks like we're getting another twist with Matilda, so I'm eager to see more.

To be honest I thought it was someone else, its to easy and neat for it to be Aiden, but I'm interested in where this goes from here. This story keeps me hanging on the edge of my seat.

Yeah I was thinking something like this was coming, but that didn't make it any less brutal when it finally arrives. Its interesting how this fic jumps back and forth between WAF and pitch black human darkness and still works, I'm looking forward to seeing more.

this is really getting interesting, I love how you manage to keep blending the brutal with the heartwarming and the fantastic with the real, and I love how richly characterized everyone is, though one question, how hurt is Hortensia's hand? Looking forward to seeing more.

I was kinda suspecting something like this for a while, but this is still bone chilling horrifying. And yet I still can't wait for more.

These last few chapters are just on twist after another, I'm hanging on the edge of my seat to see where this goes.

Ok that took a turn, in several senses, just when things were starting to look up they're spiraling, I gotta say I'm impressed how you manage to keep me guessing and hanging on my seat. I'm defintly waiting with baited breath for the next chatper.

Nice to see this one again, I was actually trying to read it from my Deviantart favorites but then I found it was missing, so I'm glad its somewhere, it remains one of my favorites our of all your stories.

Last few chapters have been amazingly dark and visceral, but this one is actually pretty heartwarming, even considering some pretty messed up subject matter. (the bit about Matilda being on the spectrum was also unexpected)I continue to read with interest to see where this goes.

Ok interesting, I'm a DQ fan but I never played this specific game, interesting to see where this goes.

Seems like we get a plot twist every new chapter, I'm really interested in seeing where this goes.