depends4me

I've had a couple sightings over the years, but most were of elderly people. When I'm at the grocery store or the mall, I try to make a game of it and discretely glance around (a bit like playing "punch bug", if you know what I mean ), but usually forget. Most recently there was an elderly man at Wal-Mart wearing khakis and slowly shuffling across the area at the front of the store between the service area (returns, snack bar, bathrooms, etc.) and the registers, and looking down at his pants. There was an obvious trickle down the inside of his left leg, and as he wasn't wet in the front, I assume his protection failed. One of my best sightings was of a man in his early 40's at the mall, wearing tight jeans and shopping at JCPenny with a woman, in the women's clothing department. He was very obviously bulging in all directions, and I have no idea what he was thinking. He must have been wearing cloth. Another was in a grocery store. An oriental family was shopping, a mom and three kids. The youngest was a boy maybe 8 years old. His t-shirt was short enough that it rode up over his stretch-waist jeans with only slight movement of his arms. I saw it just once, but that was enough: a telltale white something jutting up over the top of his jeans, proceeding for a few inches, then jutting back down again. It could only have been a disposable diaper, possibly a store brand.

Wow, I think it's almost a crime to wear diapers so regularly but not use them! For most people, I think it helps to be standing. My trick has always been to wait until I feel the need to go, then take a deep breath and relax my body "down there" while exhaling. Lately I've also been able to open my sphincter by just contracting and releasing the muscle in my extreme lower abdomen. Another suggestion: pour a little water in there yourself first. If you pee after placing your hand in warm water, just think what could happen when it comes in contact with <ahem> another appendage.

Sorry, I've never had a problem sleeping in a diaper, and have been wearing them at night for months, as part of night-untraining. I do have the problem of waking in the middle of the night with a bursting bladder and an erection, but I'm slowly working on that, too.

Yup, I always wear a brief over my diaper. Unless I'm also wearing plastic pants, it's a full-cut brief during the day (may cover the entire diaper, depending on the brand) or the typical Hanes/Fruit of the Loom at night, always with plastic pants over that. I figure that wet diapers sag, and sagging diapers leak, so why tempt fate? During the day, it also keeps sweat from forming between my legs, which I've always found uncomfortable.

I get a little bolder (or should that read "more confident"?) every year, and I'm at the point now where I'm not paranoid about tucking in my shirt, wearing a second shirt that's tucked in, wearing a long-ish t-shirt, etc. If somebody notices an inch of my diaper sticking out of my pants...well, some have higher waists than others, and that's out of my control. I see other people's underwear regularly enough, possibly at work when somebody is on the floor under their desk, plugging in a charger or computer cable, or when I'm at a store and somebody reaches to get something off a shelf and their shirt rides up...not to mention the guys who sag (I believe the trend is dying) and the girls wearing low-waisted jeans. It's is my underwear, so why should I be any more self-conscious? They're the same as anyone else's...just more absorbent and I change more than once a day. Now I do have a slight exhibitionist streak: have gone running down a deserted country road in just a diaper and t-shirt, and sometimes been doing laundry at my apartment complex and realized I wanted to wash the pants I was wearing (my door was just 10 steps away, so why engage in unnecessary movement?), but these were the exceptions. I absolutely don't flaunt myself in public, but I don't go around paranoid either.

I've seen "diaper wraps" before. They look similar, but I believe they're meant to go over a disposable, not act as a diaper all by itself. I'm not sure who makes/sells them right now, but I recall some very nice ones coming from Japan. (Yes, I'm jealous of your baby now, too. ) Straying off-topic a little, if a an AB/DL company ever makes a diaper wrap with skulls and guitars all over it (kind of like the printed t-shirts you find at Target and K-mart), count me in!

I'd say you either need more absorbency, or you're not putting it on right. In spite of my screen name, Depends never fit me that well. After changing into a new one, I always had to give it the "gap test", standing sideways to a mirror while moving each leg back and forth, checking for a big gap between my butt and the diaper and re-adjusting the tapes until it was finally snug. Another mistake I made was leaving the diaper a little droopy in the crotch. I always push it up from the bottom when I'm fastening the bottom tapes, to make sure it's snug. Another suggestion: if you usually diaper standing or laying down, try the other approach for a while to compare. Like others said, you might also just be flooding too much at once. A better diaper would help, or try adding a booster. Good luck!

You should be able to have it shipped to a local UPS depot (etc.), or maybe to an independent facility like a Mailboxes Etc. Just make sure your name and address are on the box somewhere. The first time I did this, I forgot about that, and UPS had to hunt for nearly 15 minutes to find my box.

I can't give you specific advice (besides not resorting to theft) as I started buying diapers only after I got my own place. I guess you have to weigh the pluses of satisfying your desires now vs. the ramifications of your folks taking a strong disapproval. Do you have a good relationship with them? Are they open-minded? Ask yourself what the worst thing is they could do. I'm sure lots of other people can give you advice on hiding places. If you have a car, putting them in the trunk seems like a no-brainer. Are you going to school now? If you plan to change campuses at some point, maybe you could put it off until then and you are out of the house. If you're working, well, then you're old enough to move out, and maybe this will be your motivation to set those plans in motion? I've read about some people who just come clean about it...not necessarily right away, but the first time they get caught. Sometimes the reaction is bad, but sometimes it's simply, "I think you're weird and you won't have any friends if you wear diapers, but it's your life." Sorry, that probably wasn't too helpful. But good luck!!!

I'm not 24/7, but when I am diapered, will use it for anything that comes along. The very first time I wanted to change in a public restroom, I took a laxative and drove out of town for the day, so I couldn't chicken out. Without being gross, the "consistency" probably varies among people, but I've never had a problem changing a messy (and wet) diaper. 5-10 wipes and I'm as good as new.

I wear (and use) a diaper from Friday night through Monday morning, so it's becoming routine for me...but then I'm single and nobody's looking over my shoulder. I didn't buy my first pack of adult diapers until I was 29, so yes, I do remember the rush of doing it all for the first time: stopping at 8 stores until I found one where I felt comfortable, making the purchase, reading the bag, opening the bag, wearing one for the first time, letting go, wearing one to bed, wearing them in public, changing in public restrooms, etc. You're 31, not 81...it doesn't seem too late to me to turn over a new leaf. (And why would you throw out a good pair of jeans?) Enjoy your newfound liberation!

How long the tapes stay sticky varies by the brand, but sure, they'll be good for multiple uses. Be careful when you take them off, so you're not ripping the outer shell in the process. If the tapes get too weak, switch to duct tape. That's a common trick with certain brands that have weak tapes, even on the first use. And welcome to the site!

I've never used Prevail, but have bought the US Tena Super, and recently a case of Tena Ultra. Both are cloth-covered, and were redesigned sometime recently so the Ultras also have velcro instead of sticky tabs. The Ultras are very boring...they look almost like a big dryer sheet with pillow batting glued on, and have almost no stiffness...but I guess it depends on what you're looking for. I would call the Ultras less encumbering, more like "refastenable underwear", but definitely a diaper. I'd been using the Wal-Mart brand diaper + booster, and these are more absorbent for the same cost. I don't think the outer shell says that much about effectiveness. Check out the rest of the specs. Any disposable should keep moisture away from your skin, right? Cloth-covered does means quieter. The sides are sometimes similar to dryer sheets, so if you wear them to bed, you could have more leaks if you flood and it gets a little out of hand. The sides also seem so stretch, so you might need to readjust the tapes sometimes. Some people complain that when they leak slightly, the outer cover can wick the moisture and make it worse, although I haven't noticed that. Hope that helps!

I don't carry an actual diaper bag, but keep a medium shopping bag (thick, opaque white plastic) in my car with supplies. There's the usual stuff: at least 3 diapers and 3 boosters, wipes, powder and barrier cream. I also carry a few zip lock bags or tiny shopping bags (in case there's a used diaper that I can't dispose of immediately), a hand towel (never used it, for cleaning up after a big mess, I suppose), and a spare pair of jockey shorts (I wear a brief over my diaper for support and extra absorbency). Lately, I haven't found myself in many situations where I need a change on the go. I don't use toilets from Friday night through Monday morning, and will change at the (deserted) office when I come to get some work done. But that's getting boring.

I was tired when I posted this and rambled a little...but nobody has anything encouraging to say?? Sigh. Let me try rephrasing: who here wears and uses diapers at work, and sits at a desk all day? What kind of diaper do you wear? If you wear a lighter capacity diaper (maybe anything less than a Molicare Super or an Abena Super) for discretion, do you take any extra precautions against leaks?

I'm more than happy to donate...been back for just 2-3 months and hadn't gotten around to it yet. But I've noticed some weird things recently at diapermates.com (if not to everyone, then just to my account) which is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Hoping for a reply to the message I sent over the weekend, to sort this out.

I'm considering transitioning to wearing diapers during the day. My base diaper is the Assurance brand from Wal-Mart, with a booster. (Yes, I know what some of you are thinking...I've heard the criticisms before. ) I just recently bought a case of Tena Ultras. They're no more expensive than Assurance + Booster, I like the cloth design for discretion, and the velcro tapes are wider than Tena's older, sticky version. So far the permanent end hasn't pulled off, as they used to do when I used Tena Supers. The evening the box arrived, I decided to try one out and walked 4-5 miles to and from a local supermarket. I must have used the diaper 5 times, and the Ultra worked wonderfully. Today I went to the (deserted) office to do some work, and noticed the same old problem. When sitting for long periods of time (changing positions, leaning back, wrigging around, etc.) I tend to leak fairly quickly under my butt...obviously where the most pressure is applied. Sitting for long periods just destroys the padding in the crotch, and then there's nothing to hold back the leaks. What to do? Perhaps it's just a matter of finding the right brand? Or continuing to use a booster? Or wearing plastic pants? I'm wearing pull-ups to work most of the time now (Assurance, of course), and those may actually hold up better. Has anyone else had this problem, and how did you deal with it? Thanks for any suggestions.

I'll second the vote for a yeast infection. I had one of these a few years ago, and while there was no skin coming off, my scrotum was red and felt like it was on fire. There may be two kinds of packagings for anti-yeast infection cream. Get the kind packaged like hemorrhoid cream...you can screw off the tip and apply it like regular ointment. Mine still took a number of days to disappear, but saw an improvement in 24-48 hours. Good luck. And kudos on the "diaper militancy".

It just takes practice. When I first started wearing diapers to bed, I'd drink a glass of water, then wake at 3:00 and have to get out of bed to pee. But I found that taking a deep breath and relaxing that area as I exhaled eventually let me go when laying down, on back or belly. Over time I'd awake more and more groggy when the contractions started, to the point that I found that going to bed with a relaxed bladder and repeating in my head "don't wake up", would then let me wake to a wet diaper. Just like a magic trick! The process took 4-6 months, but still needs water before bedtime, works only on the first contraction, and and requires a little luck. Now I'm trying to take my own advice and learn to pee while sitting. It's frustrating, but hopefully I'll see some progress in a couple months. Would love to go diapered to movies and not be in pain through the second half of the film.

Maybe I do this differently than some...when I'm not at work and need to go out, I always wear protection. Lately I've been wearing diapers 24/7 from Friday night through Monday morning, and pull-ups at work (but using them sparingly), so I'm sealed-up nearly all the time. Outside of work, if I have to go, I just go. I keep a changing kit in my car, but am rarely out more than 5 hours at a time, so rarely have to use it. Wal-Mart is special for me for at least one reason, though. It was the first time I was able to relax enough to relieve myself while walking, without missing a beat! This was a couple years ago, and I'm now working to get that back.

Do you wear underwear over your diaper or over your plastic pants? At night I wear underwear over my diaper, and plastic pants over that. I use just cheap FOTL or Hanes briefs, and that waistband generally keeps anything from coming over the top. They're also good at mopping-up little leaks. (Occasionally they're soaked...but the plastic pants still keep my bed dry.) I would like to get some higher-waist pants, though, and with covered elastic. I forget the model(s), but what I want is at http://www.b4ns.com. If you've never tried Suprima, they come in a bewilderingly array of sizes. Maybe a Suprima will fit you better?

I have a decent collection of briefs, bikinis, and a couple thongs, but haven't worn any of them for over month. I'm currently in pull-ups during the day (covered by a Jocky Pouch Brief...to cover everything and provide support) and a diaper at nights/weekends.

At the office on a Sunday night...wearing my normal street clothes (jeans and t-shirt) with an Assurance diaper, booster, and a Jockey Pouch Brief overtop to hold everything in place. Currently (mostly?) dry.

Wearing diapers is a stigma that I know will subside substantially in time. I mean, look at all the Depends and Goodnites on store shelves...somebody wears them. I got teased the first day I walked into school wearing glasses, but the next day nobody cared. With that in mind, yeah, I've gradually gotten bolder (or just more nonchalant) about my diapers. I don't tuck in my shirt (or wear a longer shirt, or wear an undershirt than can be tucked in) unless it makes fashion sense. I'll change myself in any public restroom, anywhere. A couple times I've walked into gas stations with the diaper just folded up in my hand. I buy a lot of my diapers at Wal-Mart, and booster pads at some other local stores. Now I don't flaunt myself, and still get a little queasy buying them at the store on a busy Saturday afternoon...but if I need something done, I get it done. Diapers should be treated no different than any other undergarment, anything else one might buy at a pharmacy, or anything else one might need to do in a restroom. The more the public encounters ordinary people using diapers, the faster and greater they'll be desensitized. I don't expect the above is actually much effort in the grand scheme of things, but it's something. And I do think the Lisa Nowak incident was a good thing...at least for everyone who needs/likes diapers. You can't buy that kind of publicity.

Hehe, good story, Jeremy! I don't typically wear to work, but have had occasional issues at night where my diaper leaks due to tiny perforations in the plastic. My typical brand is just the Wal-Mart Assurance diapers with a doubler, but I've also heard of this happening with major brands like Molicare. What would I do if it happened at work? Hope my changing kit was in the car, or excuse myself really quickly and drive home. Yeah, you handled it as well as you could. I remember a line from an old episode of The Simpsons, where Bart is completing a psychological survey for Homer. One question is "do you wet your pants?" Bart shrugs and says "even the best of us have occasional trouble!" and answers "yes".