spark

June 14

March 1, 2025

That was nine years ago! It’s hard to believe that really happened. I often ask why did my mom do that to me, and why did I let it happen? Why didn’t anybody stop it? It wasn’t just being treated like a baby; I felt like a real baby. At the end, it didn’t feel like a punishment.

I blamed Sarah. I don’t know if my mom could have found anybody else who would treat me that way. Would I have given in to a stranger as easily? I gave in to Sarah because I missed her. We used to be so close; we both wore diapers a lot longer than other kids and had a kinship that is hard to explain. We grew apart after mom stopped making us wear diapers. She was older, she had other friends, and she could do things by herself. We barely talked when I was a freshman and never at school. Even though she treated me like a baby, I had my sister back.

Also, I blamed Tara, but not for what she did. She made it seem normal. We were best friends, but that’s because we were babies together, even though we weren’t really babies. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have stayed a baby that long. I would have stopped, especially once school started.

Most of all, I blamed my mom. None of it would have happened if it weren’t for her. Strangely, the same thing that happened with Sarah also happened with my mom. Before that, mom and I didn’t talk to each other. Mostly, she told me what she wanted, and then got mad when I didn’t do it. It felt like she was always disappointed with me, no matter what I did. That seemed to change after she put me back in diapers. She still got mad, but only when I whined too much. And even then, she praised me when I stopped. Most of the time, mom was nice and gave me lots of hugs. I got a hug after every diaper change, no matter how bad it was. She tucked me in every night, gave me a gentle kiss, and would say “Mommy loves you more than anything.”

Sarah was right. Diapers were only a big deal until they weren’t. I sulked that whole weekend and begged to stay home on Monday, but mom made me go to school. I don’t know if everybody knew, but it felt that way. I noticed some people stared, but most didn’t say anything. One guy came up and said, “I’m sorry about what happened. I know it sucks. Hopefully that asshole gets kicked out of school. Thanks, you took one for the team.” I never heard what happened to Scott, but I never saw him again. I heard a rumor that he was sent to juvie, but I don’t know if it was true. Even though it felt like everyone knew, most kids weren’t mean about it. Some were nice, others were curious, and most ignored it. There were a few who tried to make fun of me, but they were quickly shut down. The other kids said I had a medical condition, and it’s not cool to tease me about it. After a few weeks, they went back to ignoring me, and things were pretty much like they were before. I guess a kid in diapers isn’t a big enough prize for the bullies of Canyon High School.

I was a baby most of 10^th grade. After what happened, I didn’t want to use the bathroom at school. I preferred to use my diaper. I didn’t like changing it, so I waited for Sarah, or Ms. Lisa to change it. That meant I had to be a baby the rest of the day, but I was okay with that. I only wore Pull-ups a few times and only when I changed my diaper. Mom said I could wear a Pull-up to school if I went three days without needing a diaper change, but that never happened. I didn’t like wearing Pull-ups anyway. I wore Pull-ups at the start of soccer season but went back to diapers after they leaked. Diapers didn’t seem like a big deal once everybody knew about them.

I know this sounds weird, but I think my mom and Sarah liked it when I was a baby. They both told me to use the potty, but they never seemed excited when I did. On the other hand, it was a big deal when I was wet. They always seemed happy when I needed my diaper changed. They would squeeze my diaper and say, “Boy, that’s one soggy diaper. I better change it, huh?” My mom did the same thing when I was little, so it felt normal.

It was never that way when I was dry, especially when I was in Pull-ups. When I wore Pull-ups, they never said anything when I used the potty. I once asked, “Why didn’t you say something after I went potty?”

Mom answered, “Because you’re a big kid now, and you don’t need to be praised for using the toilet.”

We didn’t do Play Group that summer, but Tara and Caitlyn were at our house most of the time. Caitlyn had some accidents at the beginning of summer and went back to diapers for a few weeks. Emily didn’t want to wear a diaper, but she was more than happy to help with the babies. Caitlyn and I were potty trained in July. It was just like the year before, but this time it worked. By the end of the summer, I only wore diapers at night.

After that, Sarah and Nicole moved away. They roomed together at the University of San Diego and were only home for holidays. Ashley and Tara still came over. Mom said it was to babysit, but I only needed a babysitter when I wore diapers, and Emily was old enough to be left at home by herself. I think it was an excuse for Ashley and Tara to get away from their mother. The other families from Play Group helped as well, so Ashley and Tara spent most weekends at one of their homes. For some reason, I seemed to have accidents when Ashley babysat at our house, which meant I would be a baby for the entire weekend.

The last time I was a baby was the summer of 2018, between 11^th and 12^th grade. Sarah was home, and I forgot to change out of a wet Pull-up. I did it again after school started, but this time mom said, “One baby in this house is enough. I’m tired of you sabotaging yourself. From now on, you’re on your own.” She didn’t check my Pull-ups anymore. She didn’t care when I leaked, or when I wet the bed.

She made me do my own laundry, so she didn’t even know. One time I forgot to change my sheets and had to sleep on the floor. She gave me the money to buy Pull-ups, but I had to buy them myself. Pull-ups are expensive! I quickly stopped having accidents, so I didn’t need them during the day. After a few months I woke up at night to pee and didn’t need them at night either. Finally, I was fully potty trained.

Ashley went to San Diego State. My parents bought a house for all of them to live. Tara wanted to stay with Ashley, and Ashley didn’t want Tara to be alone with their mother. My mom convinced their mom, and Tara moved to San Diego with them. Since Ashley wasn’t eighteen yet, Sarah had to be Tara’s legal guardian. After I graduated, I went to UC San Diego and moved into the house with all of them.

Tara is what Dr. Bennet calls a perma-child. After what happened with her mom, she didn’t want to be potty trained. She was afraid what her mom might do and wouldn’t use the potty. Ashley never pushed it, so Tara stayed in diapers. They tried to potty train her after she moved to San Diego, but she didn’t want to. She didn’t even want to be a big girl. They bought her a big bed, but she wanted her crib. She cried until they gave in.

She is ‘big Tara’ at school and work. She takes care of her diaper, acts like an adult, and dresses normally. She is also big Tara with her friends, but some of them know about her. She can be little Tara with them. At home, she is little Tara. It is just like it was. She is changed on the living room floor, sleeps in a crib, uses a sippy cup, and has a bottle every night.

I asked her, “Why do you like being a baby? Don’t you want to be like everybody else?”

Tara didn’t answer right away, but then said, “I never had a real mommy. My mom did that with Stephanie, but not with me. I wanted to have a real mommy. Now, I have three mommies, and a grandma, who is really nice.” That’s my mom, who adores and spoils Tara.

Sarah graduated a few years ago with a degree in communications. She does traffic at a radio station and is a host with the Padres. She interviews fans between innings, and they show it on the scoreboard. Tara graduated from high school in 2023, the same year I finished college. She’s a production assistant at Sarah’s radio station. Ashley is in law school. Nicole works at home, but I don’t know what she does.

I think Sarah wears Pull-ups, but I’m not sure. I know she still has accidents, but she doesn’t talk about them. She had one a few years ago at a concert. When they got home, Nicole was mad and asked, “Why didn’t you wear a Pull-up? You know what you’re like. That’s the second time.”

Sarah blushed, “I didn’t want to. I wanted to wear those cute shorts, but the outline shows.”

Ashley scoffed, “Of all people, you should know better. I think you need to be punished for that.” Sarah had to wear diapers for an entire month, and she wasn’t allowed to change herself. She had to ask somebody to change it, and they changed it the same way they change Tara.

I didn’t see much of Ethan or Cole after they started real school. Their mom watched me every day, but Sarah picked me up before they got home. I only saw them a few times the rest of the year. They had friends their own age and we didn’t have much in common anymore. The only time I’ve seen them since 10^th grade was at Emily’s high school graduation last year, which was also Ethan’s.

Caitlyn and Emily are still friends. She used to spend the night at our house, especially when Tara was around, but I don’t see much of her anymore. She and Emily like to do a girls’ day with Tara when we’re there, but they don’t invite me. I think Caitlyn has the same problem that Sarah has. She admitted she still has accidents. Last time I saw her she said, “I have a TWB.”

Tara asked, “What’s that?”

“It’s a teeny-weeny-bladder. That’s why I wear Pull-ups.”

When they spent the night, Caitlyn and Tara usually wore diapers, but Emily only wore them that one time. After that, she wanted to help, but didn’t want to wear one. I think that’s what she prefers, because she babysits Tara every chance she gets.

I didn’t understand what my mom meant when she said, “One baby in this house is enough.” I thought she was talking about me, but she was talking about my dad. I knew he wet the bed when he was a kid, but I didn’t know he started doing it again. That happened right before my 18th birthday, and my dad, being my dad, ignored it. My mom, being my mom, made him wear diapers at night. I think that happened the same week she stopped caring about me. He got lazy after being laid off during the Covid Lockdown. I guess he started having accidents during the day. Whatever happened, the first time we talked during the lockdown, my mom told us, , “Daddy is back in diapers.”

Sarah asked, “What! Why?”

“Well, he was doing the same things Eddie was, so I’m treating him the same way. I set up a crib in his studio and that’s his nursery.” It’s not exactly the same, but it’s close. He wears a diaper all the time and has a babysitter when my mom can’t watch him. He does a podcast from his home studio and is never alone. Emily helps with the podcast and she’s also his babysitter.

It took me a while to break free from my mom’s spell. She literally treated me like a baby for 18 years. When it stopped, it stopped abruptly, and I thought I would go back to diapers at any moment. Once I realized I wouldn’t go back, I got mad.

I didn’t understand why my mom did it, nor did I understand why Sarah helped. Their explanations made no sense. I was robbed of any sense of normalcy in high school. The more I realized how much it screwed me up, the angrier I got. I started to resent Tara, but it wasn’t her fault. They screwed her up just as much as me. They also screwed up Caitlyn. That’s three people’s lives completely fucked up because of some bullshit theory from a quack doctor.

Dr. Bennet still recommends the program, but only for kids under ten. He admitted we were too old. The last time I saw him was in 2022, and he apologized. He said, “I thought you were too old for it, but your mom pushed. You were so immature back then, so I let her do it. I think you would have done better if we let you take care of it yourself, like you did after you turned 18.”

I questioned why I chose UC San Diego, and why I moved into that house. At the time, it made sense. I was still processing what my mom did to me, and I was afraid to live by myself. Living with Sarah made sense, and it was a lot cheaper. I was scared they would treat me the same way, but they didn’t. I was just a roommate, and they left me alone.

My dad is the only one in my family who apologized. He did it after my college graduation. He said “I’m sorry about everything. I failed as your dad. I should have stopped it. That’s my fault. Thank God you’ve overcome all of it.”

I nodded, and calmly replied, “Thanks, dad. That means a lot.” It was a lie, but I didn’t want to tell him what I really thought. It wasn’t his fault; he couldn’t change my mom’s mind, no matter what he did. My mom believes that you only get to be an adult when you act like one, so he’s not an adult. The only way he could’ve stopped it is to leave and take me with him. I love my dad, but he couldn’t handle that. Especially if he needed to take care of me as well.

My mom has never apologized, but I didn’t expect her to. It’s just not who she is. I stopped wetting my pants after she stopped caring, but that’s not what she thinks. I asked, “Don’t you regret doing that to me? It didn’t work, and it messed me up.”

She shrugged, “I don’t think that’s true at all. Look at how much you’ve grown since then. You used to be this little boy who only thought of himself. That’s what little kid’s do. Now, you’ve become this wonderful young man. You’re independent and selfless. You always think of others before yourself, and that makes me so proud. I couldn’t be prouder of the man you’ve become.”

That’s the only time my mom has ever said anything like that, and it meant a lot. “Thanks mom, but that didn’t happen until you stopped treating me like a baby.”

“I stopped treating you like a baby when you stopped acting like one.”

“That’s not true! I still had accidents, and I wet the bed. I had to sleep on the floor because my sheets still had pee on them.”

Mom responded, “Yes, and it was painful to watch. I wanted to jump in and take care of you, but I knew you could handle it.”

“Why didn’t you do that when I was fifteen? I wouldn’t have been treated like a baby.”

Mom smiled, “That’s because you weren’t ready. It just took you a while. You’re a lot like Uncle Teddy, but he took longer than you.”

I asked, “What about dad? You treat him like a little kid, and he’s more than fifty.”

My mom laughed, “Honey, that’s not because Daddy isn’t ready to be an adult. Your dad can take care of himself, but he doesn’t want to. He’s a lot like Tara in that way. That’s okay, because I love him so much. He let’s me take care of him, which makes me happy. It works for both of us.”

For the longest time, Sarah and I never talked about diapers, or what happened. We both knew, but we never mentioned it. I didn’t say anything until Ashley and Nicole made her wear diapers for the whole month, and then asked, “Do you still think what you and mom did to me was a good thing?”

She nodded, “Yes! Probably more now than before.”

“What? They just made you wear diapers for a whole month!”

“That’s what I deserved. I was selfish. I’m glad my friends hold me accountable.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. What you guys did really messed me up.”

She said the same thing my mom did. “Eddie, it didn’t mess you up. It helped you. Look at where you are now. Besides, if that never happened, we never would have met Tara and Ashley. That wouldn’t have been good for anybody.” I guess that’s true. I know our lives are better because of them, and I don’t want to think what could have happened to either Ashley or Tara if we weren’t around.

Sarah got serious and said, “I don’t know if you know this, but mommy and daddy weren’t in a good place back then. They fought, but not as much as they used to. They ignored each other, which is worse. If it weren’t for you, they probably would have gotten a divorce. It’s not just them, either. It’s all of us. You and Emily hated each other, and you and I didn’t talk to each other. It brought us closer as a family. Also, I don’t care what you say, you liked it. It made you happy.”

I protested, “I didn’t like it!”

Sarah gazed at me with a dubious look. “Eddie, I changed your diapers. Trust me, I know you liked it.”

I graduated with a degree in Economics in 2023, but I don’t want to get a PHD. I love crunching numbers, and I’m not big on theories. I also like to write. I work for the San Diego Padres as the guy who crunches all the numbers for analytics. I love my job! I get all kinds of data, crunch the numbers, and then write a summary about them. I can do most of it from home, so I only go in the office when I want to go to a game.

I had a crush on Tara back then. I think she had one on me, but we were both too young to understand. Even though I was old enough to have a girlfriend, I wasn’t ready. I didn’t feel that way about girls anyway. After I moved, Sarah warned, “I know you like her, but don’t even think about it.”

I honestly didn’t know what she meant. “What?”

“Don’t think about dating, or anything like that.”

I blushed, “I don’t like her that way.”

“Just remember, you’re in college, and she’s in 9^th grade. It’s not appropriate.”

It strange, but I didn’t think about her that way until then. I knew why it wasn’t appropriate. To be honest, I don’t think about anybody that way, so it wasn’t an issue. We were still friends, but it wasn’t quite the same. Tara and I never talked about it until she finished high school. After she graduated, she asked “Now that I’m old enough, do you want to take me on a date?”

I literally responded, “Sure, why not?” It’s not exactly the most romantic response.

I took her to a really nice restaurant. She dressed like an adult and looked even older than she was. She wasn’t a baby in anyway. After dinner, we walked on the beach and did all the things you’re supposed to do on a first date, but with somebody you know really well. It was awkward; how do you talk to someone who you have known for a long time, but not in that way. At the end of the evening, I kissed her, but it was like kissing my sister, which it kind of was. We both agreed that it was just a one-time thing.

The same thing happens with kids who grew up in a kibbutz. Kids from the same kibbutz are close but rarely have intimate relationships. Tara and I were older when we met, but we were just little kids. Tara is more like a sister than anything else. Sarah and Nicole admitted the same thing. Nicole was Sarah’s first girlfriend after she realized she was gay. She said, “I’ve known Nicole since pre-school, and it felt like she was my cousin.” Nicole isn’t gay, so it wouldn’t have worked anyway. Ashley and Sarah were older when they met, and they are more than just friends.

After college, I started thinking about it a little differently. Tara likes it, and my dad likes it as well. When I visited last summer, mom treated me like an adult. It was cool, but she didn’t pay any attention to me. She didn’t care what I did. On the other hand, she watched my dad every moment of the day, and he got all of her attention. For some reason, I was jealous.

And then, there are diapers! It’s hard to admit, but I missed them. I never imagined I would ever want to wear them again. I definitely wore enough of them growing up, but for some reason I still wanted to wear them. A few years ago, I secretly took one of Tara’s diapers, but they were too small. I ended up buying some from Amazon and snuck them into the house. It wasn’t the same though, because I still hate changing my diaper.

After my birthday, I asked Sarah. “Can I wear diapers again?”

Sarah smirked, “don’t you do that already? I’ve seen you sneak them in. Do whatever you want. Go ahead; you won’t have to sneak around anymore.”

I shook my head, “Not like that. I want to be like Tara.”

“Are you asking if you can be a baby, just like Tara?”

I nodded, and with tears in my eyes, cried, “Yeah.”

Sarah hugged me tight, which she hasn’t done since I got out of diapers, “Oh Eddie, that’s fine with me, but you’ll have to follow the same rules as Tara.”

“I know.”

“That means we’re in charge, and you’ll have to wear diapers all the time. You’ll have the same bedtime as Tara, and you’ll eat what we make. If you do this, you can’t change your mind for six months.”

I asked, “Six months?”

She nodded, “We started that rule after Tara got here. She kept changing her mind. We told her she needed to decide one way, or the other. Every six months, she gets to decide whether she is a baby, or an adult.”

“But she’s always a baby.”

“That’s because she wants to stay that way. Is that what you want?”

I asked, “Will I have to sit in a stroller?”

“That depends. Are you going to run off, or stay close to me?”

I don’t think I was supposed to answer that question. “When can we start?”

“Well, I need to ask Ashley and Nicole. I want to see if they’re okay taking care of you, just like they do with Tara.” I became their baby the next day. They immediately put me in diapers and then put rails on my bed. Eventually they bought other baby items, and my room became a real nursery.

I have the same rules as Tara. We’re babies at home, but we’re allowed to be big at work. Tara works in an office, so she gets to be big every day. I work from home and I’m a baby most of the time. Nicole takes care of me during the day. When she goes to her office, I either stay with her, or go to my office.

I’m allowed to be big for special occasions, but I need permission. I need to ask, and I have to be a bigger baby the next day. That means a nap, early bedtime, and I sit in a highchair. Sometimes I have to eat baby food, and they feed me. We went to my parents’ house for Christmas. Tara, my dad and I were babies the whole time. I didn’t have to sit in a highchair, but my room was a nursery. It was one of my favorite Christmas’s ever!

It's been six months, and I told them that I want to stay this way.

The End

June 13

On 6/8/2025 at 10:36 AM, Cute_Kitten said:

I do like how you explored different ways of Eddie and crew handling their diapers in school.

I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible. Bullies don't need an excuse to harass somebody. They are universal a-holes, and would find something else.

High school kids probably wouldn't shun somebody for wearing a diaper, because they understand that there is probably a reason. Purple hair might get somebody extra attention, but that certainly doesn't stop kids from dying their hair.

June 8

9 hours ago, Dirty Boy said:

In Italy there is no school infirmary, school psychologist, etc. Or at least there wasn't one when i went to school, i don't know now or if maybe there are these things in private schools (i went to public school). In fact when i see American schools in movies, i find them quite different from the ones i attended. In any case i never knew when I went to elementary, middle or high school of some boy who wore pullups, in that case i imagine he organized himself. Let's say that in Italy there wasn't much support for those who were in difficulty, at most if there were kids with disabilities or learning problems, they were assigned a support teacher

If I based my perception of English boarding schools from the movies I've watched, I'd think teachers were having sex in front of their students in the sex education class because that's what happened in a Monty Python movie. Trust me, movies, TV shows, and even news media do not provide an accurate representation of what it is really like at a large high school.

I know there are subtle differences in schools around the world, including grades, levels, and extracurriculars. I also know there are subtle differences in how they handle students with disabilities, especially the mild disabilities that I deal with. FTR- there are subtle differences within US States, so what I know about California isn't necessarily true in Texas.

However, at the heart, they are still basically the same thing worldwide. I know this because I've talked to teachers from all over the world, and we have the same mindset. It's quite amazing, and we can spot each other in a crowded room. Essentially, a secondary school is a bunch of teenage boys and girls trying to negotiate maturity, social life, and improving the basic academic subjects of reading, writing, and math, all while doing the things that teenage boys and girls do.

One of the themes that I've had in this story is how Eddie, Tara, Caitlin and Sarah could wear diapers at school, but the majority of the students wouldn't know about it. Nor would the teachers know. I don't think many of the students at my school know who the psychologists are (we have 3!), and many wouldn't know we have one. Most of them know that we have a nurse, and know who it is, because that's also a way to get out of class. They wouldn't necessarily know who has an IEP. Most of the students at the school have no idea who I am, nor do they have any idea what I do. Part of it is being at such a big school. They would know more at a smaller school, but smaller schools don't have the same resources available. The school psychologist would serve 5 or 6 schools, and wouldn't be on campus every day.

June 8

That was an incredible chapter. Robbie went through so much in that dream. I wouldn't be surprised is something other than poo or pee ended up in his diaper, especially with his growing sexuality.

It's interesting how much matured emotionally through this, even though he was regressed. It is interesting how much freedom his parents are giving him, and how Robbie is respecting that freedom. Other than his outfit, and the diapers, his parents aren't treating him like a child. It's interesting how Robbie respected his mom request to stay out of the sun when he went down to the pool, which is something that a lot of twelve-year-olds wouldn't do, and if they did, it would be more out of fear of the potential punishment than respecting his mom's valid reasoning.

June 8

9 hours ago, hlcl said:

Maybe I would give him a break from potty training during the school year. School can be stressful and demanding so can potty training. During the school year I would consider giving him a break from potty training and have him wear diapers. We could work on potty training during the summer and school breaks. It might take longer but it would be less stressful. He could focus on one thing at a time, either school or potty training.

Sometimes when someone is potty training and they are wearing pull ups and using the potty during the day they might put up a fuss when it is time to get their diaper on for bed. I would tell them that when they get more practice at using the potty they can wear pull ups to bed.

That's pretty close to what mom and Sarah did. I didn't want to go with the classic trope of the nurse changing Eddie's diaper. FTR- school nurse's do not change diapers at schools. Para educators (unsung heroes of the SPED world) can change diapers for students with IEPs (which is what I have happening for Tara. Once they started school, Eddie was supposed to learn how to change his own diaper, but couldn't handle the tapes.

Right now, Eddie wouldn't let anybody know that his diaper is wet, but he quite happily lies down when it's time to change his diaper.

PS-the draft of the final chapter is completed, and my goal is to publish it before next weekend.

June 1

10 hours ago, hlcl said:

I am enjoying the story. In this case I would return someone to diapers and start potty training all over again. First I would start with daytime training and when he mastered that I would start nighttime training.

That was the idea, and Cole and Ethan. Basically, Dr. Bennet's hypothesis is that Eddie wets the bed because he subconsciously thinks it okay to pee while sleeping. I'm not there anymore, but I used to visualize a toilet to pee in my diaper, and that's what he wanted to happen with Eddie.

The initial stage was to take Eddie to the potty when his CG noticed him showing signs that he needed to go (most likely #2). After that, they rely on Eddie prompting them to take him potty. After he's done that enough, he is moved to Pull-ups and expected to be age-appropriate with the bathroom. That means that it was okay to remind Cole to wash his hands, or even help with wiping (although that would be a boundary for me at 5). Eddie needed to be totally self-sufficient, because he's 15 (now 16).

My idea with nighttime is that they wear diapers until they can stay dry for 5 nights in a row, which also means they sleep in the crib setup. It also means an earlier bedtime. Pull-ups mean the restoration of big kid status, but they only have a few weeks to prove themselves by going 5 more nights without wetting your Pull-up. If you fail, it's back to diapers, and the crib is set up again.

Once school started, I realized it would be impossible to keep up with that program. Eddie can use the toilet, and it's based on managing his incontinence. Now, he can change when it's wet, but they will check to see if he's wet. FTR- wet means wet, not damp. If he doesn't need to be changed for 3 consecutive days, he gets to choose his level of protection.

Obviously, Eddie has chosen to let people change his diaper, so he is still a baby. Right now, if I went through that program, i would fail miserably, but I wouldn't be miserable.

June 1

7 hours ago, maly said:

So will Robbie have to 'out' himself to Karl or does he already know?

Thanks for the update.

Maly.

It's an interesting question. Robbie chose to admit that truth to Darren because that's what his mom told him. In this case, he outed himself because of his self-doubt.

It will be interesting to see how he handles it, but I think it's safe to think Karl has a strong family that encourages him to be supportive. Based on the way that Darren reacted, I don't think would have told somebody. When I was that age, and if I found that a kid my age wore diapers, I secretly would have wanted to wear them myself, but I wouldn't have had enough bravery to ask.

I think the revelation of wearing a diaper is much bigger in our eyes than really is. There are kids who would tease a kid about it. It's similar to the situation that I alluded in my story, and it's not a thing that needs to be discussed.

Unfortunately, we know that group think is really bad among youth, and they tend to follow the LCD. FTR- based the current political situation, it's equally bad, if not worse, with adults, and our LCD is a lot lower than middle schoolers.

3 hours ago, Dirty Boy said:

I wonder what a 12-year-old boy could have done that was so bad that he preferred to stay in diapers instead of confessing: did he bully some classmates or extort money with his group? Did he steal? Did they drink alcohol or smoke weed?

I taught middle school, and at least in California, there are a lot of middle schoolers who glorify the thug life. They have enough familiarity with it, but are still too young to participate. Although Tomas from Breaking Bad is an all-too-real story. The thing is, and I think it's true in British gangs, is once you truly are in, you're in. Putting Robbie in diapers wouldn't change that situation, because he would ass kicked once he got home. He would be lucky if that all it was.

I remember teaching a 7th grader who was rather chubby, and was hanging with students who were bad news (some were also my students). I had a heart-2-heart, and asked why he hung out with these. He told me that when nobody teases him when he hangs out with them, I had to acknowledge that was a legit reason. Good news, eh found his way, and last I heard had joined the football team.

What I visualize is Robbie being part of a schoolyard terror gang, and on the cusp of becoming truly delinquent children. If Claire didn't act this summer, Robbie would be too far gone to save once he moved to 7th grade.

May 31

One of my medications has the notorious side effect of frequent bowel movements. Before I started taking it, I consistently pooped in the morning and was good for the rest of the day. Now it's about two to three times a day.

May 31

15 hours ago, Cute_Kitten said:

This has been an enjoyable journey. I also liked hearing your explanations on the characters in your comments and replies, Spark. It added more depth to the overall reading experience and added some more nuance to the characters and why they do the things they do.

The discussion about the characters, especially @Dirty Boy really helped narrow down the characters. I don't think used the discussion to change my plot, but I used it to develop the characters so they weren't so shallow. It helped me take mom from a one-dimensional evil antagonist into a grey character who is morally wrong, but has good motives. Like it or not, the harm that she does to Eddie is not due to her own malice. She isn't doing it to spite Eddie, but it's her character flaws that have caused her to do this.

It helped me with both Tara and Sarah (FTR- those two names being that close to together is tough to keep straight). I've never seen a character like Sarah in any story, let alone a diaper story. Sarah and Eddie's relationship was based on my relationship with my brother. It's a sibling bond that is super strong. He's 1A to me, and I was 1A to him until he got married 8 years ago, now I'm 1b, although my SIL might disagree. At the same token, I can see why there is animosity towards her.

I hope I haven't made Tara a pathetic character, which she very easily could have been. I see her as the strongest character in the whole story. She is choosing an extreme outcome to escape the horrific abuse. I think one of the things I did well is I never described what her mother did to her in vivid detail. Instead, I left it up to the readers' imagination.

11 hours ago, CDfm said:

I just started reading this story and finally got caught up. I have truly enjoyed reading it. I especially liked the journey that Eddie is on. I can’t imagine a Doctor would actually recommend starting the potty training over but it’s a story and a very good one. I liked how his family was strict yet very supportive and comforting in their care of him. I liked the interaction with his friends in the program. I also like the progress and his struggles to get potty trained again. Those struggles actually seem real. Struggles that a chile going through potty training actually have.
I am looking forward to reading more.

Thank you for the compliment.

When I stated this in August, I thought the doctor would play a bigger role, but it felt like the doctor's role was to provide an excuse to put Eddie in diapers. In this case, it's not just trying to potty train a teenager, it's taking every part of independence away from him, and then potty training him with the same method you would use with young child.

I've maintained all along that if Eddie were 3, or 4 years old, they would be ideal caregivers. Sarah is attentive and loving, but has firm (but not unrealistic) boundaries. I based Sarah and Mom's actions on how I've seen mod/severe staff interact with their students. it's appropriate in that case, but it's not for Eddie, because he needs to GTFU. Being treated like a baby isn't letting Eddie GTFU. FTR- I've taught a lot of 15-year-old boys, and most of them need to GTFU.

PS- GTFU is an acronym for grow up (with two other words in the middle).

Let's be honest about Eddie's struggles with potty training. At this point, it is self-induced. He knows when he has to use the potty, and can change his diapers, but he chooses to do neither. By 16, I already felt the urges to wear a diaper, and if I were to have gone through something like Eddie has, I think I failed intentionally.

10 hours ago, Dirty Boy said:

The doctor, maybe he fled to Mexico, because the FBI was about to arrest him 🤣

In this story, he is seen as eccentric and a little mad. In real life, that's good enough to be on the US Cabinet in a health position.

May 30

29 minutes ago, Dirty Boy said:

Who knows how Alice would have behaved if Eddie, while still having his wetting problems, had been a rebel with a prickly character. A bit like me, as a teenager i was very similar to Eddie (maybe that's why stories with characters who have traits that resemble me feel a bit like mine), but i also had a rebellious and prickly part of my character, even if i wasn't someone who got into trouble, on the contrary, but i tended to have a really bad temper and sometimes i wasn't a good person, i was even selfish (for example i wasn't a good older brother, which i regret). Let's say that Eddie, unlike me, is a 100% good guy, while i have always had this slightly dark, sometimes self-destructive side.

Eddie had a fairly major meltdown the first full day that he was in diapers, and he was forced to sit in the playpen. He also ran away from the doctors office, but had no place to go.

Mom isn't going to put up with a lot of whining, and Eddie quickly realized he was better off being compliant. There is only so much time you can spend looking at the wall, and being stuck in a small playpen for the rest of the time. In Eddie's house, you lose privileges if you misbehave

May 29

14 hours ago, Dirty Boy said:

I'm curious to see what Eddie and Tara will be like after 10 years. I hope for a happy ending for them. Alice must receive some karma from me. She doesn't give me the impression of a maternal instinct but only of a control freak, she doesn't convey empathy but emotional indifference

Today was our last day of finals, so I don't have to go into that terrible place they make me go on weekdays until August😁 so I should be able to get the final chapter published by next weekend. it's already drafted.

Mom has a strong maternal instinct, but she is also a control freak. She would rather do things for her children than let them do it wrong. She is also very protective. Let's put it this way, if Eddie told her about his Chemistry teacher, Mom would probably get Eddie out of that class. I'm not familiar with Italy, but in California, that doesn't happen unless the parent raises a significant fuss. If the fuss has enough teeth that it will cost the district money, the parent gets whatever they want.

May 29

1 hour ago, Snugglebear_69 said:

Absolutely, however nobody is telling them if that's what they like then they don't belong 😉

Noted.

Given that we have sort of a niche, I don't think we should have the luxury of excluding anybody who shares the same interests. Sadly it does happen, but much like other parts of society- group think is not a good thing.

May 29

I read the story, and it's just so frustrating.

I don't want to discount what the man did. His problems went much deeper than just a simple diaper fetish, and relationship problems, but they knew it could happen, and they let it happen.

May 29

3 hours ago, Dirty Boy said:

What happened with Anna was probably a punch in the stomach for him. But i imagine that Anna would have considered him a child even without diapers, teenage girls are not even interested in their peers but are usually attracted to boys who are a little older, let alone someone younger than them.

However, as far as homeschooling is concerned, i am totally against this practice, as far as healthy children without health problems are concerned. Keeping children under a glass bell risks penalizing their social skills. In this case Robbie has social skills because obviously he went to school until he was 12, but if now his mother takes him away to have him homeschooled, he will not progress from the point of view of social interaction and this could penalize him as an adult in the workplace and in the emotional sphere.

I think it all depends on what Robbie was doing before his parents took this route. Obviously, his parents felt there was a significant issue with Robbie's attitude and social circle. They took drastic action, and have seen a significant improvement in Robbie's attitude in a very short time. Based on how @Les Lea is writing him, Robbie still has a lot of pride. Pride is good for kids with confidence issues- but not so much when he is still smug.

If we assume the worst (Robbie was a delinquent, and on a path to jail), he's in a better place now than he was. He also needs to get away from his social circle, so sending him back to school could put him right back with his same friends, which will put him back on the same path.

If I were Robbie's mom, that would be a primary concern. How do I keep him from his friends?

May 29

2 hours ago, Dirty Boy said:

I too was a disaster in pre-adolescence and adolescence, terrible hygiene, a messy bedroom, i didn't brush my teeth much (in fact I had to treat various cavities) and i got irritations because I had poor personal hygiene. If my mother didn't prepare them for me, i didn't even change my clothes, i put on the ones from the day before. I was very similar to Eddie in many ways, i was also childish and very introverted. At least i didn't wet the bed, although i've always had a bit of an overactive bladder so i've always peed relatively often, although fortunately i've never had accidents. I think the last time i had a night accident was in second grade at 7 years old, it wasn't a big problem for my mother

The dynamic for Eddie and his mom is kind of a perfect storm. Eddie is immature and prone to being babied, while his mom clearly enjoys taking care of young children and extended that stage with her children as long as possible. She also has this belief that independence is earned, and not deserved. It's why she treats her husband like a child. In her mind, George hasn't earned the right to be treated like an adult, so he shouldn't be treated like a child. She is the epitome of "If you act like a baby, I'll treat you like you're three years old." What makes this story unique is that they act like he is literally three years old. They don't force him in to crawl, or use baby talk, but there is a lot of incentive for Eddie to be childlike. Conversely, there is a disincentive to be independent. When Eddie is a big kid, he is ignored and has to do things he doesn't like. When he's little, he's doted on, and has no responsibility.

I wonder if Alice would see me as an adult, based on how I take care of myself and take care of my home. I think she would look at the state of my home and decide that I can't take care of myself, so she has to.

My mom and dad were nothing like George and Alice, but as strange as it seems, I would be attracted to Alice. George is an exaggerated version of me, and I would be attracted to a woman like Alice. I think I am, because I worked with somebody who some of the same traits that she has, including the mommy complex. I don't think she would put a teenager in diapers, but her adult children are still living in her house long after college.

I wouldn't be okay with what's happening to Eddie, and I wouldn't be okay with being dismissed like she does with George

This is the last chapter update for the 2016 timeline. At this point, if I continue on the 2016 timeline, I'll either repeat myself or have Eddie miraculously get out of diapers when he realizes that he doesn't want to be a baby anymore. I'm not doing that because it's a diaper story, and it's not consistent with Eddie's character.

I also can't tell anymore of Tara's story from Eddie's perspective, at least until she gets away from her mother. Until that happens, Tara won't risk getting out of diapers. That's more of a @Ishigreensa story anyway.

While there might be a story to tell about Eddie's first days back at school after his diaper was exposed, the event speaks for itself. it's better to tell it from the perspective of the kid who survived being the kid in diapers at his high school. Eddie's path will be long, and it's best to tell it from a perspective of him after he survived.

The next update will be dated March 2025, which works out well for the story. I promise, Eddie and Tara both end this story on their terms.

May 28

On 5/26/2025 at 3:08 PM, Crinklz Kat said:

Well..... Always been more Trek than SW fan, especially now that shizney bought LucasArts. But both have their points and detractions.

Did get a chuckle out of this comment:
Star Wars is to sci-fi what Miracle Whip is mayo.

That is a restrictive definition of science fiction, which often happens in these things. We're not immune, because people will go to great lengths to contrast ABs to DLs

For me, I never got too much into Star Trek. It's the same thing as Grateful Dead: it's good, but not amazing.

On the other hand, I'm right in that Star Wars Generation, and that's a narrow band. I was seven years old when it came out, and anybody who 3 or 4 years younger than me was too young to watch it first run. It was very much a kids movie when it came out, and not cool for kids my brother's age. To this day, I don't know many adults in their 60's who have strong feelings towards Star Wars. They watch, but they know the flaws. However, it was massive for anybody in that narrow span of kids born from 1967 to 1974.

My experience with the 9 movies: 4, 5, 6 No brainer. I went to RTJ multiple times, plus we had a bootleg video that we played multiple times.

I was super excited for the prequels, and watched them opening weekend. 1 sucked! I went to 2 and hoped it wouldn't suck. It didn't, but not great. By then, it was a lost cost fallacy. The first of the last sequence was decent, The Last Jedi was a war crime (Rian Johnson should be in prison for what he did😁) and The Rise of Skywalker tried to fix the disaster that Rian Johnson left with The Last Jedi.

BTW- The Jedi are the bad guys. Vader killing all the younglings was a jerk move, but they were in brainwashed cult and future terrorist.

May 28

9 hours ago, Snugglebear_69 said:

There are actually quite a few folks in this community that don't like wet diapers, doesn't mean we don't belong, it just means we don't like wet diapers lol.

There are also those who would stay in a wet diaper until it falls off.

I don't have a CG, so I have to do it myself. However, if I had one, they couldn't rely on me to tell them. They would have already changed my diaper before I ever ask.

May 28

Thank you.

The bully scenes were rough to think about. The plan always was that a bully would notice his diaper in the bathroom, and a senior would come to his rescue, but I didn't think about making him lick the shoe until I put it on paper.

Part of the plan was to shock Eddie into growing up, which is what happened with both Sarah and the mom. Eddie is supposed to be a lot like us in that regard, and is vulnerable to being babied.

Sarah is right on the cusp of that spectrum, where she does enjoy being in charge, but she is also comfortable being the baby.

8 hours ago, Dirty Boy said:

Sarah explains her reasons, in some ways they are understandable, but I don't fully agree with them, because before this "therapy" Eddie didn't have accidents during the day but only at night. And even on a mental level he regressed. Actually before all this Eddie had much more control than Sarah, the only thing is that he didn't take care of his sheets.

The therapy backfired for a number of reasons. Eddie has completely regressed to the point that he won't even attempt to take care of his diapers, and only uses the potty when it's convenient for him. He willingly jumped in his car seat, and expected his mom to buckle him in. When she didn't, she did the best he could to buckle himself in the car seat. I think that was a powerful scene when it comes to Eddie's mindset. For him, being a baby isn't a negative. To the extent that Sarah was worried that he would poop in his diaper, despite knowing he has enough control not to.

If you follow the sequence of the story, Eddie was changed at break. He pooped during 3rd period, but then had pull his diaper off before wiping, and I never mentioned any change until Sarah changes him at the very end.

One of the things that I want to emphasize is just how immature Eddie was before this happened. He masked a lot trying to fit in with other kids his age, all while knowing he didn't fit in. Since school started, Eddie doesn't want to put on that mask anymore and realizes he doesn't have to.

Sarah is supposed to have medical issues that cause her incontinence. Something like stress incontinence, and an OAB, which I imagine would cause problems when the child is young enough that they can be confused with potty training issues. FTR- it's the same thing that is happening with Caitlin. Sarah practically had to beg her mom to give up control and allow her to take care of her problems. Once Sarah was allowed to take care of it, she made sure that her mother never had a reason to take it back.

She bought her Pull-ups with her money and had been doing it since 2012. Eddie would never take that level of responsibility.

I visualize Eddie in March 2016 as a 15-year-old who still acts like a little boy. Its not just that he wouldn't strip his bed, he ignores it. By this point, his mom harps on him about doing the bare minimum every day, and has been doing the same thing for six years. He won't let her know, and put his wet underwear in his laundry basket. His room smells and is a mess because he doesn't put anything away. He needs to be told multiple times to take a shower. Imagine how difficult it is to get him to brush his teeth, wash his hands, and we know that he didn't properly wipe after using the bathroom. While he didn't have accidents, he waited until the last minute to go, and wouldn't go just in case.

It's one thing to stop the car for a 5-year-old to pee while driving, but it's another thing when the kid is 15 and it's 20 minutes after a stop that he didn't use the bathroom. Combine that with a meltdown because you resist stopping the car. That's what Eddie was like before they started this program.

May 28

6 hours ago, Dirty Boy said:

He risks losing his confidence, it could even make him insecure in trying to win girls over as he grows up. In my opinion, it is not entirely positive that he becomes more docile and compliant, given the world we live in, it is better to have a strong character than a weak one. I experience it first hand, i wish my parents had shaped my character to make it stronger, my life would have definitely been simpler. At the time i would have hated them, but as an adult i would have benefited from them.

Robbie doesn't seem to be insecure, even when he is wearing nappies.

The fact that Anna sees him as a child probably bothers him, but she would likely see him as a child regardless of whether he wears diapers.

The thing is Robbie's mother isn't going out of her way to treat him like a baby. They are trying to have a normal experience, with the added complication of dealing with his diapers.

May 28

3 hours ago, DL64 said:

A month has passed and still no new chapters. Since there are still many chapters to come before we can reach the end, I'm becoming increasingly despairing of ever seeing the end of this story 😭, especially since the author has gone on hiatus for several months.
Please tell me we'll ever see Maddy in diapers 🙏.

There were some very long breaks with AMR, and it took almost 3 years for the story to finish. That seems to be the case with this story

May 28

7 hours ago, Dirty Boy said:

In my opinion, homeschooling him and in any case keeping a child under a "glass bell" risks making him become introverted and unable to relate to others. As he grows up he will have relational and work problems. In any case, the more they keep him in diapers the more difficult it will be to return to normality, if he gets used to it, he risks losing control of his bladder and intestines and will have to get used to it again and when he grows up it is difficult

Assuming they could teach him to take of his diaper while at school, I think Robbie could still go to a regular school

Robbie is not an introvert, and doesn't seem to have social anxiety issues. He made friends at the resort pretty quickly, even with the diapers. He's way more social than me in that respect. I don't think could cap it but they also need to get him away from his gang.

May 28

Friday, September 16, 2016

They saw my diaper!

My Chemistry teacher is a jerk, but that’s when I normally need to pee. He gets mad every time I ask. He only lets the other kids leave once per quarter and gives extra credit to students who don’t use the bathroom. He told me, “According to the school, I have to let you go to the bathroom whenever you want, but I don’t think it’s fair to the other students.”

I’ve only asked him three times. The first time he asked, “Did you get lost?” The second time, he said, “Okay, but don’t take so long. You’re missing important content.” After the last time, he sighed, “Go ahead. Obviously, Chemistry isn’t a priority for you.” Sarah wants me to tell the nurse about him, but I don’t want to.

I don’t want to poop at school, so I try to poo after breakfast. Mommy always changes my diaper right before we leave, so if I poo first, I won’t need to poop until the afternoon. I usually don’t have to go during first period, and if I do, it’s just a little bit. Sarah doesn’t get mad when she changes my diaper at school, but she doesn’t like it. I guess I could change it myself, but I don’t want to. If I make it through Chemistry without soaking my diaper, Sarah doesn’t have to change it at break. After that, I don’t worry about my diaper, because Ms. Lisa changes it when I get to her house.

Unfortunately, I didn’t poop very much this morning. It was only a little bit, and I had to poo again at school. I started feeling it during Chemistry, but I didn’t want to ask to go to the bathroom, for obvious reasons. I tried to think about something else and peed to relieve the pressure. My diaper was pretty wet when Sarah checked it. She saw my face and pleaded, “Eddie, you’re really wet, and it looks like you need to go #2. You should go to the nurse’s office. You can poop over there and then change your diaper.”

I whined, “But I don’t want to change my diaper.”

“Eddie, it needs to be changed. You don’t want it to leak, do you? Also, you need to poo. Go to the nurse’s office and take care of it!”

I cried, “I don’t have to poop.”

“Trust me, you do. I know that face. Please Eddie, just go. I know you don’t like it, but you don’t have a choice. If it helps, I’ll go with you.”

I begged, “Please, just change it.”

Sarah scoffed, “Eddie, I don’t want to change a poopy diaper at school.” She didn’t say it loud, but it was loud enough for both Nicole and Ashley to hear.

I protested, “I’m not poopy.”

I was louder than I should have been, and Sarah didn’t want me to cause a scene. She sighed, “Okay, let’s go.” We went to her car. After she finished, she said, “Let’s hope you can make it through the rest of the day without pooping. I’m sure you don’t want to poop in your diaper, do you?”

“I won’t, I promise.”

She gave me a big hug. “Eddie, promise me. Go potty if you think you might poop in your diaper, even if it’s just a little bit. I don’t want you to mess in your diaper at school.”

I usually don’t think about my diaper after Break. Ms. Lisa always checks it when we get to her house, which determines whether I’m a baby or a big boy. If I’m dry, I can be a big kid; I eat from a normal chair and I don’t have to take a nap. If I’m wet, I’m a baby; I sit in a highchair and take a nap after lunch. So far, the only time I’ve been a big kid was on my birthday. I was dry another time, but Sarah changed me during Break. I thought I would still be a big kid; it’s why I used the potty during third period. Ms. Lisa put her hand on my diaper and said, “Hmm, your still dry. That means you don’t need to be changed, and you can start your nap early.”

I whined, “A nap? I’m dry! That means I get to be a big boy.”

Ms. Lisa shook her head. “No, you don’t. Sarah changed your diaper during break, and you only get to be a big boy when you act like one.”

Ethan and Cole aren’t homeschooled anymore. Ethan went two weeks without an accident, so they started real school last week. Cole goes to kindergarten in the afternoon, and Ms. Lisa drops him off before picking me up. I’m the only baby she takes care of, and nobody else is at her house. Ethan and Cole don’t wear diapers at night, and they don’t sleep in a crib anymore. All I get to do is eat and sleep. I have to sleep on the floor because they don’t have a crib. Sarah picks me up before they get home, so I don’t get to play with them anymore. I whined about it to my mom, but she said, “I can’t let you come home unless you’re a big kid. If you don’t want to be a baby, you either need to use the potty or change your diaper.”.

I thought I could make it to lunch, but I didn’t. I started farting during history and it felt like something might come out. I clinched, but that only made it worse. It was impossible to think of anything else; I was scared I would poop in my diaper. I knew I wasn’t going to make it to lunch. Fortunately, we were working in small groups, and I easily got my teacher’s attention. I didn’t even have to say anything. I just pointed at the door, and she gave me the thumbs up. That’s so much cooler than asking in front of the whole class.

School bathrooms are the worst! They are disgusting and messy. Worst of all, you’re vulnerable to bullies. Just like the Serengeti, it’s important to stay with the herd. You’re an easy target when you’re isolated. That’s why I always get to class on time. It’s best to get there a little early, but not so early that I’m the only one there. But being late is even worse, because they aren’t other kids in the hallway.

Going to the nurse’s office takes too long, and I didn’t want to make my history teacher mad. She is really cool, and I want to keep it that way. I also didn’t want to poop in front of the nurse, so I didn’t go to her office. My best choice was the bathroom closest to the history hall, fortunately it was empty. I quickly jumped in the stall, lowered my shorts and sat on the potty. I didn’t realize if somebody looked under the door, they might see the top of my diaper.

I heard other kids come in and recognized Scott Donald’s voice. He is a massive jerk and has been one since the 3^rd grade. In 7^th grade, he cornered me in a bathroom and shoved my head in the toilet. I didn’t think stuff like that happened at school, but it does. It happened to me! My mom threatened legal action if the school didn’t do something about it. He was caught and kicked out of school. He had to go to another school for the rest of the year. Now he hates me, but he hates everybody. Last year, he almost beat me up, but a security guard stopped it before he did anything.

I wasn’t going to leave the stall until he left, and I tried to be as quiet as I could. Scott looked under the door and shouted, “What the fuck is that? Guy’s look at this, it looks like a fucking diaper!” I lifted my legs, but it was too late. He pounded the door, and yelled “Who’s in there? Come out here! It’s only going to be worse if you stay in there.” He kicked the door as hard as he could and kept kicking it until the latch broke. I pulled up my diaper and pants, without wiping, and prayed.

When he saw me, he gloated, “Eddie Conner! Hey guys, it’s little Eddie Conner. He’s wearing a diaper like a fucking little baby.”

I begged, “Please Scott, let me go.”

“Oh no. I’m going to have some fun first.” He ordered, “Guy’s get him.”

I started to run, but Scott easily caught me. He put me in a head lock, “Get his pants. I want to see that diaper. Pull his pants off.”

His lackeys grabbed my legs and started to pull my pants down. I fought as best I could, but it was impossible. I was in a headlock, and they held my legs in the air. I twisted and tried to kick them. Scott yelled, “Punch him! He needs to know who’s the boss here.”

One of his lackeys punched me in the stomach, right below my chest. It was super hard, and I lost my breath. They quickly pulled my pants off while I recovered. I only had a T-shirt and diaper on. They grabbed my bag and shouted, “what’s in his bag?”

Scott pulled out one of my Pull-ups and sneered, “Look at this. These are Pull-ups. Silly baby, don’t you know Pull-ups are just for big kids, not little babies who still need diapers.”

Another kid asked, “How do you know that? Why do you know anything about Pull-ups?”

Scott looked defensive, and muttered, “My cousin uses them.”

After I recovered, I tried to reason with them. I had no choice. I cried, “Give them back!”

Scott laughed, “What? Is the baby going to cry?”

I muttered “No,” but it wasn’t convincing.

Scott scoffed, “Oh no! It’s you and your bitch-ass mom’s fault that I spent six months in that fucked up school. Now, you’re going to pay for it. If you want to get out of here, you have to do what I say.”

I muttered, “What do I have to do?”

“First, cry for me! Show me just how much of a little baby you are.” That was easy, because I was already crying. Scott gloated, “That’s a good baby. Now, beg! If you beg good enough, I’ll give your pants back.”

I didn’t say anything, so somebody kicked me really hard. “You heard him. Now, beg!”

“Pleese Scott! Give me back my pants.”

“No, call me sir. Do it again, but this time call me sir.”

I sucked it up, “Please, sir. May I have my pants back.”

Scott shook his head, “That’s still not good enough. I want you to come to me, get on your knees and beg some more.” I took a step towards him, but he yelled. “Stop!”

“What do you want now?”

“Babies crawl, so get on the floor and crawl like a little baby.”

I looked at the floor and gasped. “I’m not doing that.”

One of his lackeys pushed me down, “Scott told you to crawl! Now crawl, or I’m going to kick you again!”

They laughed as I crawled on the floor. Scott walked to the other side, so I had to crawl the entire length of the bathroom. When I got close enough, I cried, “Please sir, may I have my pants back.”

Scott smugly replied, “not yet. First, kiss my shoe!” I just wanted this over, so I tightly pierced my lips and touched the bottom of his shoe. “No! Lick it!”

I resisted, but his lackeys shoved my face into his shoe. “You heard him. Lick his shoe!” With no other choice but to comply, I licked the bottom of his shoe. After that, everybody laughed, “He actually did it.”

Scott looked at me derisively. “I’m still not satisfied. I don’t think he deserves to get his pants back.” He tossed them to one of his lackeys and demanded, “Get rid of them. Flush them down the toilet.” It was the same toilet I pooped in, so I didn’t want them back.

There was nothing I could do. Another kid saw me crying on the floor. He asked, “What the fuck is going on?”

Scott couldn’t wait to share his glory. He was proud of his work, and gloated. “We just made this fuckhead lick my shoe. He’s crying like a baby, but he wears a fucking diaper. Can you believe that? He still wears fucking diapers!”

The guy looked back at him, “Is that supposed to be funny? What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you a child who thinks shit like that is funny? Do you think he wants that? Nobody wears a diaper unless something is wrong. That’s just fucked up. It’s something he can’t control. Leave him alone and get the fuck out of here!”

I’ve never seen somebody stand up to Scott like that, but he is a senior and bigger than Scott. I didn’t know who he was, but I knew he was one of Sarah’s friends. Even for somebody like Scott, it’s not a good idea to get in a fight with a senior, especially somebody on the football team. They tried to sound cool as they scurried out, but it wasn’t convincing. After they left, the guy helped me up and asked, “Are you okay?”

I mouthed, “Thank you. I hate that dude.”

“I’ll take you to the office.”

“I can’t go like this.”

“Yeah, that’s not good.” He took off his shirt, “hopefully this works. Wrap this around your waist. Let’s go to the nurse’s office. She might have something for you to wear. If not, hopefully somebody can bring you something from home.” We started walking and he asked, “Aren’t you Sarah Conner’s little brother?” I nodded. He replied, “I’m James. What just happened is so fucked up. I wish I could have stopped it sooner.”

I asked, “What did you see?”

He shrugged, “Enough. Enough to know that you needed help.”

We got to the nurse’s office, and James explained, “He got jumped in the bathroom.”

The nurse asked, “Do you know who did it?”

I stammered, “Scott Donald.”

“Oh him.” She asked James, “Please, let the office know about this.”

I begged, “No please. Don’t do that. It will only make it worse.”

The nurse remarked, “I’m sorry, but they need to know. Don’t worry. Let me see if I can find something for you to wear. I’m going to call your mom; I don’t think you need to go back to class today.” I quietly thanked James for saving me, but I don’t think he heard me.

Mom was there an hour later and brought me some shorts. She talked with a vice principal and the nurse while I dressed, but they stopped when I walked up to them. I was relieved that it was over and started crying as we walked to her car. It might not be cool to cry in your mom’s chest when you’re sixteen years old, but I didn’t care.

When we got to the car, I instinctively jumped in the back and waited to be buckled into my car seat, but mom got in the front seat. I buckled the parts that I could as we drove out of the parking lot. Mom asked, “Why didn’t you go to the nurse’s office?”

I cried, “It’s too far. I didn’t want to miss class.”

“That’s noble of you, but there’s a reason you have the pass. Next time, just go to the nurse’s office.” She made it sound like it was my fault, even though she didn’t mean it that way. I didn’t want to talk, and mom didn’t force me. I sulked in the backseat until we got home. We went inside and mom asked, “Are you hungry, or do you want to rest?”

I muttered, “Rest.”

“Okay, that’s fine. Go have a lie down in your room.” I must have been tired and overwhelmed, because I fell asleep as soon as I jumped in my crib.

I’m not sure how long I slept, but Sarah was home when I woke up. I was clutching my teddy bear and curled up against the rails when Sarah came into my nursery. I thought the rails were down, but I think my mom pulled them up after I fell asleep. Sarah calmly asked, “Are you awake? How are you doing, sport? You kind of had a rough day, didn’t you?”

I nodded and cried, “Uh huh. How did you know?”

Sarah answered, “Mommy told me, but James told me first.”

I forgot about James; I asked, “Who’s James?”

“He’s the guy who helped you. He said that some guys beat you up and stole your pants.”

I asked, “Did he say anything about, um you know?”

“No, he didn’t. I don’t think he cares.”

I sobbed, “He saw my diaper.”

Sarah hugged me, “It’s okay to cry. It’s good for you”

“Why? Is it because I’m a baby?”

“No, it’s not just that. What happened to you isn’t fair, and crying helps you feel better.”

I cried on her shoulder for a while, long enough that her sleeve was wet. Eventually I stopped and said, “Everybody will know. Everybody is going to tease me. I don’t want to go to school anymore.”

Sarah replied, “Eddie, I promise, it won’t be as bad as you think it will.”

“How do you know?”

Sarah replied, “Remember, I wore diapers to school in 5th grade? I blamed it on Mommy, but she didn’t make me pee my pants.”

I nodded, “I forgot about that.”

“Well, I didn’t forget. It was bad, and the other kids made fun of me. They called me names and asked if I preferred Huggies or Pampers. Nobody would play with me; they told me to go to the upper playground where the little kids play. Nicole was the only one who played with me, and she told everybody to stop teasing me. When I asked her why, she said that she’s known me since pre-school, so she already knew about them and doesn’t care. You know what happened next?”

I shook my head, “What happened?”

“Nicole called them jerks for making fun of me because it wasn’t my fault. She said that she doesn’t play with assholes and would rather play with me.”

I cried, “But I can help it.”

Sarah shook her head, “You can’t help it. If you could, you would stop. After that, kids started playing with me again, and it wasn’t as cool to tease me. Eventually almost everybody stopped teasing me and laughed at those who did. It was a big deal, but then it wasn’t.”

I replied, “But that was in elementary school. This is worse, it’s high school.”

She calmly replied, “No it isn’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Because.” She pulled her skirt down and revealed the top of her Pull-up, “This!”

“Is that a Pull-up?”

She nodded, “Yeah, and other kids know. Not everybody, but some.”

“Do they make fun of you?”

“Not that much anymore. Those who know don’t care, and they get mad when somebody says something about it. It’s not cool to make fun of someone for something like this, and they know it.”

I asked, “Does Mommy know?”

Sarah replied, “She does now because I told her.”

“When?”

“Do you remember the night that mommy put you back in diapers?”

I’ll never forget that night! It’s permanently etched in my memory. I nodded, “Yeah.”

“You know that I tried to convince her not to do this, right?” I nodded. Sarah remarked, “Mommy and I talked after you went to bed. I showed her my Pull-up and said that it wasn’t fair to do this to you, but not me, because I wasn’t potty trained either.”

I didn’t know what to say. I asked, “Why?”

“Mommy did the same thing to me when we were in Germany. I was eleven and had to wear a diaper, but Emily didn’t. The only people who knew about it where Mommy and Emily, but she was too young to remember. I didn’t want Mommy to do that to you.”

“Weren’t you afraid that mommy would do this to you?”

“A little. That’s why I told her. I know she thinks it’s important to be fair with all of us. I’m an adult now, so mommy can’t do that to me anymore. If she tried, I could stay with Nicole. I told her that I wasn’t potty trained either, so it wasn’t fair to do this to you but not me. I hoped that would convince her not to do this. Mommy said that I was potty trained, because I take care of it by myself.”

I asked, “Why are you helping her? You know what this is like, but you treat me like a baby.”

“Mommy thinks it helped me grow up. I stopped acting like a baby and took responsibility when I had an accident. Sometimes I got in trouble for hiding them, but I promised to do the laundry and stopped hiding my accidents. I took care of everything, so she didn’t need to worry about it. She admitted the same thing happened to her. She and Uncle Teddy had accidents when she was ten, and grandma made them wear diapers. After that, she realized she didn’t want to be a baby and stopped peeing her pants.”

I cried, “But I was potty trained. I just wet the bed.”

Sarah shook her head, “I don’t think you ever were potty train. You didn’t have accidents, so I thought you were, but we had to remind you to use the potty. If you didn’t, you did a pee-pee dance. I don’t think you were really potty trained.”

I asked, “But why did you help her?”

“Mommy asked me to be your nanny. At first, I didn’t want to do it, and I didn’t think I could. Nicole and I were going to work at Marshalls, and I needed the money for college next year. Mommy said she would pay me more than double what I could make at Marshall’s. She told me that she was going to do this whether I agreed, or not. If I didn’t agree to it, she would hire somebody else.”

I was shattered, “So you only did this for the money? You sold me out.”

“No, I didn’t sell you out. Mommy was going to hire somebody anyway, and I didn’t want anybody else to do it. It’s not because of the money, it’s because I didn’t trust anybody else. Mommy made me promise to treat you like a little kid all the time, even when she wasn’t around. She said it would make it worse if I treated you like a big kid. At first, I didn’t agree with her, but she was right.”

I looked confused, “She was?”

“Yes, she was. I tried to be nice, and let you be a big kid in the beginning. It didn’t work, and it made things worse.”

I protested, “You never treated me like a big kid.”

“I did, at first. But, it made it worse, so I stopped. I think you like being treated like a little kid anyway.”

I blushed, “I don’t like it.”

Sarah smirked, “Eddie, I know you like it. I see it when I change your diaper. I think you like the attention, and I know you like playing with Tara. You two are so cute together.”

I blushed again, “I don’t like it!”

“Eddie, you don’t have to admit it, but I know. I didn’t think you did until we went to Disneyland. I knew for sure after we went to the zoo when you were supposed to be a big kid. You made me put you in the stroller, and then you peed in your Pull-up.” I shrugged, I didn’t know what to say. She smiled, “It’s okay. I understand, and I know why.”

“You do?”

She nodded, “Do you remember when Ashley changed your Pull-up in July? What did she tell you?”

“She said that I needed a baby-style change because I didn’t tell her I was wet.”

“Sometimes she does the same thing to me.”

“She does?”

She nodded and was blushing a little. “Sometimes, she’ll check my Pull-up, and if I don’t tell her that I’m wet, I have to lie on the bed and let her change it. She changes me just like she does with you and Tara.”

“That’s mean.”

“It’s not mean. I like it.”

“You do?”

“Sometimes it’s nice to let somebody take care of you.” She felt my diaper and asked, “You’re pretty wet, do you want me to change your diaper?” I nodded.

May 27

On 5/25/2025 at 2:39 PM, Elfy said:

I wasn't going to comment, but I will.

I don't particularly mind negative comments as long as they are proportional and making a legitimate criticism. I have no problem if you think Amelia and/or Catherine are bad people, the story never claimed otherwise. I appreciate people discussing the ethics and morality of my stories.

That said, my stories are nearly always going to contain quite an element of fantasy, even if they are set in the real world. If my characters are off-putting enough that you don't want to read about them, that's fine, I have a lot of stories and maybe the next one will have characters you jive more with. I feel like once you have said that "x character is a monster", we understand that your opinion won't have changed unless you say so. I'm not going to tell people what to comment on my stories, if you WANT to say "x character is a monster" after every post then that's up to you, I won't say not to, just that I understood from the first time!

To ease fears. I'm not going to stop posting stories no matter what criticisms I get. This is my job after all! I would ask people to keep in mind that when they comment on other people's stories that they are likely not doing it for money and that bombarding people with negativity is a good way of making sure they don't keep posting.

I do hope people are enjoying the story though, morally grey (or black!) characters aside!

You've written a lot more than me, but I've written enough to know no comments is worse than negative comments.

It's always interesting when a reader comments negatively about a morally grey character that is positive in the narrator's perspective, but their actions are perceived as negative

May 27

On 5/23/2025 at 9:47 PM, Ishigreensa said:

You are not wrong, that it was far more blamed on gay than being black, but it was also something that someone in the medical field pointed out saying it was more prevalent in the black population, and then I think racists ran with that turning it into a "Black" disease. Honestly though, I think the fact it came from Africa was more of a reason for it than just what doctors had said. Still was a lot of misinformation because the disease hit white people as much as it did black people, but they seemed to keep it quiet when it hit white people. And it actually affects... according to what I learned in high school in 1990, gay and non gays the same, more based on the number of partners you have rather than on who you have sex with.... Even then, they were still learning more about it.

My point though, Is I think they tried to blame all marginal communities for this disease because they still didn't know much about it, even in 1990.

It was sad all the myths and blame that happened around it.

But yeah, I think the discussion... I'm going to put a halt to it because this is supposed to be about a story and not about the myths told about the disease. I just was maybe defending why I'm writing it from where I am because this is my own experiences in how I heard of it. Not that everything I heard was factual.

I think your stories and my stories tend to have similar themes, but your characters are so much darker than my characters. I think it's best to write about what you know, and my characters tend to be white-middle-class with functional families. (Subjective- because Eddie's family might not be functional in the traditional sense).

To be honest, there is nothing in Corinna's personal life that would compare to a 10-year-old (is she 10?) black girl living in a group home, with a mother who was diagnosed with Aids in the 80's. But I still connect with the character.

FTR- I think our conversation was extremely interesting, and I would love continue it in PM- but I don't think we need to. I think we already said what we need to be said. It's testament to your writing to bring it up.

May 27

2 hours ago, Little BabyDoll Christine said:

I stopped reading after your first sentence since that said it all. If this is going to stray into psychology, you better have done a LOT of study on the subject: Far more than pop culture offers because that now goets into the personal realm. There is no point in further discussion on this matter betwen us. I have said all I can say and would just be repeating myself. Google up "1964 goldwater 6000 psychiatrists" as well as "psychobabble"

WTF are you talking about? What does checking a wet diaper have to do with psychology? If I brought that up, please let me, but I don't think I've gone into that realm.

Trust me, I have a lot of experience with disposable diapers that wetness indicators, and I think they are useless. A simple squeeze is more than good enough, and touching the inside of a diaper is overkill?

Question, since I believe you are more into cloth diapers. How do you know when it's time to change a cloth diaper?

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