Ophelia

It's odd this topic came up, because I was thinking of starting a similar topic. Since childhood and until present day, I have had recurring dreams about "finding" a pack of diapers in various locations, but never getting to put them on (no lie. Again, Freud would be pleased). This was the extent of my "diaper dreams" until about two days ago, when I dreamed about actually putting one on, and it was indeed... magical... in the dream. This new development no doubt has to do with, to be honest, finding this site, and being encouraged to explore this more, with making the makeshift diapers, learning which real kind to get (thus, making the prospect of acquiring a diaper more feasible), and all. It is amusing how deep into the subconscious these desires go, and how dreams can echo conscious struggles.

Ditto. This "interest" would not be something I would want anyone, my family or friends, to know about at this point. I'm about in the same place as you are, Takadaweird. But as others were saying, give it time, and perhaps when you start to assert your indepedence more, you will gain more confidence. And it's very true that if you begin to accept yourself as you are, others will, too. At the same time, I don't think you have to tell them. To me, this or any fetish is as personal as each person and each situation in which that person lives. And for me, I don't feel anyone should have to know (for me, it's a personal, private thing, anyway). As long as you're careful until you're ready and want to tell them, they shouldn't find out by accident. If they do, well, just be honest. You can't go wrong there.

Heh, yes, I remember you saying that. I'm sure that would give me confidence. I wouldn't have to worry, for sure. But I also wonder if that might not be overkill, in a way, as it's such a tiny amount.

Hello and welcome to you too, Mondenkind! You do seem like quite the interesting character, and it seems you have a clear and confident sense of who you are, which is great! I hope you stick around here, as well.

Thank you all very much. I do feel quite welcomed and at home here, and think I will stick around, and continue exploring this. Mondenkind, I find that comforting as well, to find others like you who share very similar experiences. It makes me feel less alone in this. It seems there are both struggles and exiciting thing ahead indeed....

(I started this topic once before, but thought better of it, and randomly asked for it to be deleted. I changed my mind... again. Appy polly loggies.) So, apart from enjoying the idea of wearing diapers for pleasure, I also suffer very mild incontinence, dribbling or spotting. I don't wear protection for it, as it's intermittent and isn't even enough to get through my underwear; that has only happened literally a handful of times. Normally, it's not more than a quarter-sized spot or spots, but just literally drops. Apart from the fetishism, from an objective perspective, do you think it is necessary to wear pragmatc protection for that? Does anyone else experience this, or has anyone in the past experienced this kind of incontinence? How do you or did you cope with it? (I won't ask for the topic to be deleted this time. )

There does seem to be something to that; it makes sense, both anatomically and psychologically (behaviorally?), that most men would find stand-peeing easier and most women would find sit-peeing easier. Having tried stand-peeing recently, I must say I found it rather awkward, and for me it took conscious effort. o.O

square_duck, I must have been looking at the "by the case" price, as you said. Sorry, hehe, that was a gross overreaction... now that you break it down that way, that is super cheap. But my reading comprehension skills need work--that's the downside. Okay... so, do you actually have to buy a whole case, if you order diapers online, as a rule? I think I would definitely want to start out with a sample or single bag. Just wondering. But what I am probably going to do is buy a bag from one of the nearby convenience stores, just to start--And I am probably going to go with one of these, based on all your suggestions, my preferences, and suspected fit: Depends (I think banter mentioning "six tapes," and their cheapness, sold me on them), Goodnites, or Attends Youth--unless there is another similar brand in that vein that catches my eye. Thank you all for leading me in the right direction. I am going to double check my waist and hip measurements to be sure, but those seem like the best choices for a first try. I'll let y'all know what I ultimately get, though. Thank you very much again.

Thank you very much, Honu! Writing is something I love. Indeed, indeed, it is good to know I'm not alone. Good, and strange, at the same time--this still seems to be a minority group (unless I'm mistaken). Heh, yes... It is an ironic expression of adult desires, to be sure, Diaper-Loving. On a more specific and anecdotal note, also half in reply to another thread, "Shower Wetting," I took another mini-step today in the exploration of this fetish. Apparently, most people pee in the shower, but up until tonight, I honestly didn't (in fact, I barely can, it seems). I think I'm still quite conditioned to only pee on the potty, at least on purpose (again, I sometimes very lightly dribble a bit involuntarily, extra-potty-ly...). (...I think that, my mild and intermittent incontinence is probably why it's challenging for me too pee anywhere else but the potty. I'm hyper-aware of, and self-disciplined about, where/when I pee, not to an insane degree, but definitely disciplined and careful; usually, I'm very successful, tiny dribbles aside, with the worst case being a tiny accident (since my pre-teen years, I've never really had a "serious" accident). In the following case, the fetishist case, the back-firing effect of this regiment shows. o.O ...) Tonight I decided to not pee before showering and let go in the shower itself. It actually took conscious effort; I literally had to visualize, practically astral project myself, being on the potty to get myself to pee in the shower, even with all the running water, and such. Before getting in, I did have to go, but as soon as I tried to go in a "foreign" environment, I got nothin'. But eventually it worked and quite successfully. While quite enjoyable and strangely liberating, it was also sort of freaky. I had not intentionally peed anywhere else except the potty for many years, probably at least 10 years, until then. I hope none of this is TMI, but I also took an old, dry wash cloth, and held it on like a pad, and peed in it (still in the shower, obviously...), as if it were a diaper, which took even greater conscious effort, a little extra squeezing, and no small amount of "astral projection"). However, that also eventually worked, and was very enjoyable; I peed right through two layers of cloth; it soaked right through. It was a moment of inappropriate pride. Based on that small experience, I can imagine that sensation of wetting an actual (completely dry) diaper, outside the "security" of the shower, and the damp aftermath, would be magnificent. The appeal is undeniable. Yes, it was freaky, though. Afterward, I was almost afraid I had "unconditioned" my bladder training a bit somehow. I know that is completely impossible, but I think my brain did not much care for the change of peeing location. I rarely stray from my conservative conditioning, or my daily habits, even in small ways. Yes, I can be "a square," but with moments of secret and "wild" rebellion. o.O Needless to say, next time I shower, I'm going to use the “washcloth

*Jaw drops* $50?! That was definitely not what I was expecting. And that's on the cheaper end? What have I gotten myself into.... That definitely makes me think about those who have no option but to buy quality, actually functional, adult diapers--and who have to wear them 24/7. That's crazy to think of. And terrible. Jackass companies. Sorry, but it's true. They jack up the prices on items they *know* people--well, many people--cannot do without, but probably cost them less than a dollar to manufacture. They do the same thing with maxi pads. What option do you have? "Oh, guess I'm just not gonna have my period anymore, 'cause pads are too expensive!" or more relevantly "Guess I'll just wet my pants in public! No! Worries!" Jackasses. Anyway, rant over. Thank you very much, square_duck, for summarizing my previous ramblings ( ) and for the recommendation; my rant is certainly not directed at you, but at the industry, now, in general. That was definitely a revelation--I really hadn't noticed the prices for a while, because I wasn't sure if I wanted to "commit" to trying diapers. I think the fact you highlighted the idea of cheapness, and that I've started to seriously consider this, made me finally notice, heh. I mean, I do still want to try them, at some point, but that figure just shocked me. o.O

terryfighter, that was very informative and interesting, thank you! It does seem we have had similar experiences, and a similar background.

Wow! I am completely overwhelmed, taken aback, and otherwise gobsmacked by these detailed, thoughtful, and generous responses! (I'm not surprised that you all would offer such responses, but I am touched by the display of solidarity, and helpfulness.) I really can't thank you all enough, but... thank you all so much for your time and effort in gathering all that information, for sharing your own advice and experiences, and for your candid, helpful inquiry. Such advice seems better than any product research I could have done all on my own--in that it comes from your personal, unbiased experiences and helps narrow my focus and eliminate certain options straightaway; I will indeed need to do a bit of trial-and-error of my own, of course, but this guidance helps tremendously. So, thank you. I genuinely am overwhelmed by your kindness--but also by the sheer amount of information. o.O It literally might take me a while to ...soak it all in. I will definitely use this thread as a reference, for sure. Again, thank you. It's interesting to know how limited my options seem right now, being smaller, but once I figure out my waist and "hip" measurements, that might help illuminate my exact options, as speedy_d and others were saying. More specific details about what I'm looking for in a diaper, to answer those who asked: Upon consideration, I think my main goal in my first diaper purchase would be a comfortable, again very snug, fit--even more than extreme absorbency. I really just like the idea of "feeling" a well-fitting, dry diaper, as much as, perhaps more than, soiling it. I mean, I would want to try that eventually, of course, wetting a diaper without restraint, but maybe I'm strange in that I almost prefer the idea of just having a diaper taped on snugly, even if I don't necessarily saturate it the first time (I rarely pee in huge amounts, anyway, but do often "lightly dribble," even after using the toilet, so high absorbency seems secondary right now). I also like the idea of wearing Pampers, as Hookeondiapers suggested, simply because they seem like they would be guaranteed to fit closely and they seem to represent what a "naughty child" would be forced to wear (strange thought, but apparently true in many real cases o.O). But I think I would prefer a plain white, disposable diaper in general. Cloth diapers don't appeal to me as much at the moment, just because there seems to be something "separate," more "blatant" or "taboo" ("blatantly taboo," "taboo-ly blatant") about wearing disposable diapers, because their material and cleaning / wearing process seems unmistakably distinct from "normal" cloth underwear (in that you don't obviously wash disposable diapers [usually... unless you're really poor, cheap, or into that sort of thing; I personally would find that super gross] and the material of disposable diapers is, as I prefer, starkly different from cloth underwear). I like the idea of crinkling, as well, and potential embarrassment that could cause--that's probably a huge part of this for me, the embarrassment (even naughtiness) of wearing diapers, which is also why the idea of diaper roleplay appeals to me. With cloth diapers, an onlooker could mistake them for real underwear, at a glance, unless I'm mistaken; with disposable diapers, there's really no question, even at a glance, that you're wearing a diaper--for instance, if your diaper is accidentally sticking out above your pants in public, disposable diapers would seem more unmistkable to me, which I like. I do also like the idea of a "diaper bulge" but that would not be a must-have feature for my first diaper purchase / sample (as many of you aptly suggested, getting a sample first), tight fit is my main interest right now, but again now I fear that may be tricky, given I am more slender. It's a bit disappointing to think my options are limited, me being smaller, but given that high absorbency is not my highest priority at first and after I check my measurements, that may help figure out what would suit me best. (Sorry again for how wordy this is. That huge paragraph turned into more of a stream-of-consciousness of a diaper-fetishist than a description my preferences. o.O)

Heh, sorry, I panicked. <=D Very interesting. Thank you. Yes, I'm not sure I would want to jump right to the most expensive brands, but start simple and cheap, indeed to... "test the waters" (pun intended?). Thank you very much for the recommendations.

(I tried searching for another topic like this; either my searching skills suck, or there really aren't any exactly like this. Sorry if it's the former.) So, I'm extremely new to this, and have never purchased adult diapers before. So, for someone who has never bought them before, what brand would you recommend as a good start? I'm quite petite; I don't know my exact waist size, but I wear a size 5 women's underwear, the smallest size, if that helps. What I'm looking for is something that would be comfortable to wear, able to be adequately "used," but more so, fits well. I'm also looking for a brand that "folds over" and "tapes closed" and fits snugly. Any recommendations from those with experience would be most appreciated. (Is this a stupid question? Was that? Or this...? Ad infinitum....) Edit: Nope. This is the wrong forum, isn't it? I truly did fail...