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rosalie.bent
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Posts posted by rosalie.bent
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50 minutes ago, mamabug said:
That is why I'm a huge supporter of people telling their partners BEFORE they get married. It's not fair for someone who is part of the ABDL community to have to 'hide' their feelings or desires - but at the same time, it's important for their spouse to make the decision if they want to take that on or not. We all have things that we consider to be 'deal-breakers' that we ourselves could not handle. There are many things that I would end a relationship on - that has nothing to do with the person themselves and I would never make them feel ashamed about, it's just not something I could do.
You should never force your partner to indulge in your desires. But, you shouldn't be ridiculed by them either. I couldn't imagine being in a relationship where I had to hide my true self for so long. It's a huge part of me and I couldn't be with someone who didn't accept or even participate (and that is okay!)
That's a nice idea but it is largely idealistic. My hubby did in fact tell me before we got married but told me what exactly? He couldnt explain it properly (not an uncommon problem) and I wouldnt have understood or accepted it in any case even if he could. That is how the real world operates. I have dealt with couples where the wive did know before hand but the AB drive increases and later on becomes a problem. You can promise the world to your would-be-spouse but that doesnt mean that you actually can fulfill it. AB grows over time and the ability to contain it reduces.
It's a little easier now in that at least we know more about AB and that people arent 'alone' in it so we can give out prospective partners some information, but even now, it is still hard to prepare yourself for the AB partner experience. It has no equal and is hard to fathom, nevermind accept.
What I try to do with partners is to get them to understand and accept how things are NOW and move from there. What happened beforehand can't be changed. I prefer to think that the committed love for another is enough to allow couples to move past it but alas, it is not always. Some are too self-centred to consider giving up some ground for their partner's deep needs. The same partner that would stand by their man if they were hurt and left in a wheelchair, run away at the sight of them wearing a diaper.
Most times it is just sad. other times, it is pathetic.
25 minutes ago, Glennie said:this is a great conversation. Bug I completely agree with you about telling your spouse BEFORE you end up in a serious relationship. Its not fair to end up with mortgages and kids and be several years deep in a relationship when someone finally says.. oh, btw. I have a diaper fetish. The person that gets this news feels cheated. To the point of feeling like you had the opinion they couldn't be trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets. I did tell my wife in the beginning once I figured out our relationship was more serious than just something sexual. It has always been perfect either. My wife was supportive of my ab desires but for the longest time never got involved. She let me have friends and even caretakers. The biggest problem was the caretakers always wanted to bring the relationship to the next level. I didn't want it to interfere with my relationship with my wife. I felt as though I would be cheating on her, which is something I would never ever do to my wife. The hardest part about being a regressive ab is your tend to be very very emotional and just like a baby, you get your feelings hurt way to easily. being that was caused me to end contact with people and go into a state of depression that left my poor wife dealing with and very depressed person.
22 years in to our marriage she finally came to me and said she was tired of me constantly going through highs and lows and decided to get involved in the adult/child relationship. It really was for her own sanity she got involved. Life for me and her has gotten a millions times better since she became both mommy and my wife. We are both happier people. We both understand I can't make this go away. It is deeply embedded in my personality. No its not always perfect, we like to consider it a work in progress. We both understand its a bit odd but at this point neither of us care anymore. We are just having fun with all aspect of our relationship. Rosalie Bents books have been a god sent to both me and my wife. Its almost like someone has been living in my closet all my life, taking notes and secretly writing books about me. She and her husband are amazing people ,that have saved my marriage from certain doom. Their advise as been instrumental in making my wife and me happy with the cards we has been dealt.
That is absolutely wonderful, Glennie. iI am proud of you both.
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2 hours ago, oznl said:
There’s no doubt it can be a tall order for a non-ABDL partner to accept ABDL as an aspect of the relationship. Even if not dominantly AB, the DL “nappy” aspect alone can be confronting on a number of levels.
When the ABDL is male and the partner female though it seems that the magnitude of that mountain may be compounded. The very small amount of rational discussion I have managed with my own partner reveals that an ABDL husband contradicts the image of “protector” and “provider” that she finds important in a husband: a bleak insight into the biological imperatives that often underpin human relationships.
I suppose this revelation may be some black comedy counter-balance to the enormous number of women who are oppressed or otherwise shaped (sometimes literally, thinking of corsets) to better conform to their menfolk’s expectation of them at the price of their own comfort.
Ultimately, I could not find any tolerance space left for me and so, backed up against a cliff edge of stress and depression, I demanded and then took that which would not be given. No excuses, no reasons, it just IS. In yet another black comedy analogue, instead of burning my bra (I don’t have one by the way), I put on my nappies: permanently.
I feel like a bit like South Korea now. I have my territory but I have a cease-fire, not a peace treaty with the North and at any time the mortar fire may resume.
I’m still a bit happier than I was.
Your approach of simply demanding your nappies may have been the correct one. My baby did the same to me and sometimes we need to be FORCED into making reasonable compromises.
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One of the things that happen to me a lot as a non-AB woman who has an AB business is that I get a LOT of people asking me for advice about how to bring it up to their partner. You see the same here as it is a very common problem. But what I get in increasing numbers are the non-AB PARTNERS (usually wives) contacting me for advice and support. The reason I wrote the book 'Coffee with Rosie' is that I wanted a short book that was an introduction to AB that was still pro-partner and not simply saying 'go and diaper him!'. It was intended as the opening conversation starter about a topic no one wants to talk about.
Three times in the last month I have had wives at the end of their tether over their AB partners. They still love him and still want the marriage to succeed and in many cases these marriages are 25, 35 or even 45 years long. But AB has become more of an irritant and is now an active threat to both of them. They want a solution... but don't know what it is.
I feel very sorry for them as I've been along that road as well. What I am finding out is that so often, the issues are largely the same, the frustrations the same and the advice is still a variation on a theme.
The one thing that partners are generally NOT aware of is that by letting a strongly regressive AB partner indulge in it, they may in fact end up getting a MUCH BETTER partner as a result. As many of you will testify, holding back a strong AB drive is a nightmare and leads to anger, frustration, loneliness and distraction. I certainly saw that. Once I let my husband be a baby again, I saw truly dramatic improvements that made it a win-win situation for us both.
One psychiatrist some years ago told the parent of a teen baby this simple advice: "Its just a diaper!" It is succinct and a bit of a slap in the face, but still very true. There is a lot more to it of course, but if letting your partner wear diapers - even 24/7 - restored your relationship and improved BOTH of your lives, you would think the decision would be easy, right? It isn't and never will be. But it still makes good sense.
The fail point for some relationships is when either partner puts their own preferences and opinions about that of their partner to the exclusion of all else. This works both way. An intolerant and unbending partner is just as bad as the inconsiderate AB.
I try to help some find a middle ground but sadly, I find some just aren't willing to work hard enough to make it work and reap the rewards. I don't speak from the cheap seats but I see some who value their relationships less than they do their own preferences and prejudices.
But when it works.... it is a glorious thing. I hope most of you have it working properly for you at home.
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On 7/5/2020 at 6:20 AM, le Hollandais said:
No. I like real books I can hold in my hand. And if I own the volume, I highlight passages that are important to me.
I'm a fan of real books myself, but the bible on my phone has the advantage that it is always with me. When I need to look something up or check a passage or pursue a thought, my phone bible is always there. I use a real bible for personal devotions and used to in church but now with low light levels and (ugh) poorer eyesight, I find the back lit phone preferable and easier to use.
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'plastic' is a fairly generic term covering vinyl and anything remotely similar.
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Even now, some people call their waterproof pants as 'rubber pants'. Here in australia, they are called 'pilchers' and I still use that term here. I think it is what you are used to and the actual material is less important.
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10 hours ago, PinkGecko said:
ESV was the first Bible I read and I liked it fine, though I primarily use NIV because that's been the standard at nearly all churches I've been to. I have a NKJV in my collection but I honestly haven't read through it to a significant extent. I have a really bad attention span, so it's important for me to find a Bible translation that keeps me attentive and engaged.
Why I personally wouldn't consider paraphrases 'real Bibles' is that so much of it is indeed paraphrased, most significantly the words of Christ, which I find to be their biggest detriment. Stuff like 'The Message' are pretty much meant to be an easy-to-follow outline: it's not even numbered like a typical Bible, each paragraph in each chapter is preceded by "1-3", "15-20", etc., so "verses" technically don't exist. Plus, it just lacks the poeticism of more literal translations; I'm really not a big fan of how many of the Psalms are translated. I look at paraphrases the same way I look at CliffsNotes, they get the main points and messages across, but it's only a fraction of the bigger picture and intricate details of the original work.
I'm not that critical of paraphases. But it is important to note that Jesus' words are translated from the original into another language so they technically aren't His words either and most good paraphases dont alter what He says to any degree.
But good to discuss things like the Word of God.
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18 minutes ago, ppbenn said:
An interesting read from an adult baby girl perspective. While I am sure that differences and preferences vary; this was a unique perspective.
I have not had a DD/lg relationship in a while; nonetheless as I read this article I found myself reminiscing of when I did. Particularly about the intimacy. I can recall one very specific instance where I was cuddling with my lg and she had said that she didn't want things to progress to a sexual nature that particular evening. I can chuckle now at it, but I remember her playfulness in teasing Daddy and trying to push him to do things to her. In hindsight that could have been fun and perhaps brought another aspect of play into our relationship. However as difficult as it was I insisted on just cuddling her and gave her a light spanking to chastise her for her teasing "Daddy's pacifier." In retrospect that definitely led to more intimacy in our relationship.
Again thank you for sharing this article.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. We tend to publish mostly from AB men or partners of AB men so it was a refreshing insight into women. Melinda is the most regressive AB I know of.
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I have found myself over the years that babying an adult can be both a chore (and a messy one) but just like with a real baby, it can also be an act of exquisite intimacy. Melinda McMahon wrote an article on the topic that I would like to share with you all and I hope you like it and it leads to some meaningful conversions.
https://abdiscover.files.wordpress.com/2020/06/babying-as-an-act-of-intimacy.pdf…
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6 hours ago, PinkGecko said:
Well, there's certain limitations and problems on both extremes. Something like The Message and The Living Bible certainly assist in helping readers better comprehend the original text through modern language, but they're too loosely paraphrased to be considered a proper Bible in and of themselves, let alone the word of God. Being TOO modern/paraphrased can present just as much of error in translation and understanding as being "too old" and written in a near-indecipherable old English. However, I don't know anyone who proclaims a superiority of paraphrased Bibles, compared to the many super-fundamentalist "King James Only" movements.
The middle ground is best, a literal translation that's still readable, modern English but not paraphrased. That's why NIV is my preferred translation. I would recommend that people have a KJV for its historical significance and I'd recommend that people have a paraphrased Bible as a study aid, but I would never recommend either as a primary Bible.
I mostly agree with you. I use a NKJV and ESB as my main bibles, but also have an NIV. These are mainly stylistic considerations as I enjoy the majestic tone of the NKJV. I wouldnt say that paraphases are not 'real bibles' but I do think that sometimes they can leave the meaning a little strained or diluted.
I've never understood the KJV-only movement. That sounds like just another conspiracy theory by people susceptible to them. I engaged with a number of them online at one stage and discovered one interesting fact - MOST of them dont actually go to church. So their claims become even less credible by virtue of their (non) actions.
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16 minutes ago, oznl said:
I absolutely agree but as you yourself are well aware, laundry, logistics (and in my case, love) can render adult cloth nappy use impractical. If we can land a probe on Mars, we can build an adult disposable nappy that can withstand lateral use and there is ample evidence that a market for this exists. It's a mystery to me why manufacturers seem so dislocated from their product's use-cases.
Yes, I often wonder at the design of adult diapers. I remember getting MOlicares that were so low in the front that i made me think that their idea of men were those with penises <2". Also, based on complaints from my baby, why is it that side-panels are not incorporated? The only reason that a side-sleeping bedwetter doesnt leak is if the middle section is thicke enough and absorbent enough to handle the initial flow. Can you imagine a different adult diaper where the front panel was padded all the way to the edges?
Prob too expensive, but still a worthwhile idea.
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That is a wonderful story and while COVID19 sucks terribly there have been various stories similar to this. IN a recent email newsletter, we quoted this story:
“I was very afraid of how being stuck at home in an enforced lockdown would work.
I wear diapers quite a lot and my wife is okay with it but… there was a problem. With rare exception, I wore them when she was not around. If she was out of the house, I would wear. When I went to work, I would wear but take them off before I got home. It was a ritual we had that worked. I got my diaper-wearing and she didn’t get angry with me and it worked brilliantly - until the lockdown. We were both going to be home 24/7 and the thought of not wearing diapers for weeks or even months made me frustrated and apprehensive. On the second week, my wife suggested that I just wear them even though she was around. Her ‘not in front of me’ rule was years old and it worked and so we were loathe to alter it. But the world had changed.
So, I wore a diaper around her under my clothes. She didn’t care at all. Then she suggested that there was no point in hiding since we were locked down together and so for the first time, she saw me in a diaper and… complimented me! I was shocked and so was she. Somewhere, over the past few years of mutual respect of boundaries she had subconsciously decided that diapers weren’t really a problem after all.
I wore openly, including wetting in them around her. Then she suggested that I wear to bed if I wanted to. I was ecstatic and since then, have worn many nights but not most. We are still both finding our way but the enforced closeness has led us to discover that we care for each other far more than we thought. We also both discovered that diapers were not the big deal both of us thought.
I wear diapers. She approves. It’s a miracle!”
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Reading some of your comments, I wonder sometimes if some medical diaper manufacturers have any idea what they are doing. We have found that much of the time their products are ill-fitting, leaky and low capacity while ABDL diapers are the opposite. I also suspect that the -non-ABDL diapers that are top quality like Northshore are designed with the ABDL in mind, understanding that non-medical wearers want performance capacity and protection.
I do wonder what manufacturers are thinking with their products as they range from the simply terrible to the remarkably good.
But if you are a heavy wetter and side sleeper, NOTHING beats a pinned cloth nappy and plastic pants. also, I personally think they look very babyish as well - if that is the desired efffect.
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Speaking as a publisher of pro-bedwetting books, I am constantly amazed by the level of interest in bedwetting. Publicly, people are averse to the idea and then privately read and enoy these books, buy the wet bed pic sets and more. Bedwetting has historically carried a greater shame than child abuse and I suspect that it still does.
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6 hours ago, AmberStarfield said:
Welcome to believe what you wish. It is written in English and is readable.
Well, you would be the FIRST person who claims to read the 1611 version who actually does. everyone else actually reads the revised version of 150 years later. But, I still dont see the point in struggling to read a Bible that is NOT written in English that is even remotely easy to read. And it is NOT easily readable and unless you know what the words really mean you can actually get the wrong meaning eg 1 Cor 13... is that a chapter on 'generosity'?
On 6/26/2020 at 12:19 AM, PinkGecko said:May I ask what you get out of reading the KJV? I definitely think it's great to own one for its historical significance, but it must be very hard to follow along with without putting extra effort into translating it. The most important aspect of reading the Bible (to me) should be being able to understand it and therefore learn from it.
exactly. The point of the Word of God is to be 'taken internally' and if you cannot easily read it or read it at all, the value is lost. The entire purpose of Bible translations is to make it accessible to the common man. Ironically, that was the purpose of the KJV so that people could read it in their own language instead of Latin. But 'common tongue' is a moving target.
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On 6/25/2020 at 2:58 AM, AmberStarfield said:I guess it is just a personal preference, but I prefer to read from the 1611 KJV, complete with the apocrypha and archaic spellings. Most the time I use this version at kingjamesbibleonline.org to quickly look up passages. I also have a hard back printed version featuring the original 1611 cover page and gothic fonts. When I was a child, I attended a few different “Church of Christ”, mostly with my aunt and uncle. However I was never baptized because these churches thought you had be be an adult or reach a certain level of knowledge before you could decide to give your life to Christ. As an adult, I am a member of a non-denominational church in the virtual world of SecondLife and I love my pastors there very much. I don’t like being in even small crowds of people, so I have had no desire to find a physical church to attend. As for my personal faith or salvation, I don’t know.
actually, I am betting that you DONT use the 1611 version at all but one of the revisions of the KJV. The 1611 version is unreadable to current english speakers
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On 6/14/2020 at 3:34 AM, Littlealienprincess said:
So here it goes again! The absolute love of my life has had this fetish since he himself was in diapers. I'm completely new to the scene and I need help with tips, advice, anything helps! We as a couple have just opened discussion into exploring this together. He's bought his preferred type and we've been through 3 nights of him being super comfy! I'm happy for him, now that he's comfortable with himself he's so much happier. But my dumb ass normie brain keeps getting her feeling hurt! How can I try learning about the desire for this when the community is so obscure!?
I need a guru. I need links. I need friends who are going through this or wish to help me understand how my love feels and how to better make him comfortable.
Also ya girl is a XXL and needs a site for cute sizable diapers to try this thing out!!
Wish me luck, even if I get no responses airing this has kinda been therapeutic in a sense.
Anyways, peace and love. Thank you for the time.
You sound like you are not stressing about it but simply seeking info on how to enjoy it more r simple to understand it more. I get that and it is refreshing not to hear a woman threatening divorce or worse because their husband/partner wear diapers. As pointed out, there are a lot of books on our site www.abdiscovery.com.au that may help from guides on how to enjoy it more as well as quite a number of books exploring the psychology of regression and adult babies. Don't be afraid of being a normie as I am the same. Just always remember that normal is what you are and others or not. In the end, it is just a diaper and not the massive grief that some attach to it.
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Ive noticed a very big difference between 'adult sleep' and 'baby sleep'. if my adult hubby has a sleep durig the day, it usually makes night time a bit shorter or more restless. But if he took as long as a 3 hour baby nap where he is fully infantile, it seems to make no difference at all. It is almost as if the baby slept alone and the adult did not. Fanciful of course, but the fact reamins just the same. Baby naps dont count against night-time sleep while adult naps do.
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I am sorry you are in this dilemma with seemingly no realistic option but let me start with an admonishment that you did a really dumb thing. Texting and playing the way you did is a form of cheating and your wife has a reason to be angry with you. You screwed up big time. I understand why, but that doesnt justify it. At the very least you need to sincerely apologise to her for your bad judgement. And really, do you think that a text conversation is a reason to consider leaving your wife? That is dumb and again, I know why you are feeling the way you are.
Now that the lecture is over, let's look at a solution.
First: Apologise for your silliness and accept that you did wrong. Yes, it is unilateral, but that's how genuine repentance works. An honest and open apology.
Two: you need a deep and honest conversation with your wife about the realities of the situation. Get her some books, find some online reliable resources and explain to her the one difficult fact that ABDL IS PART OF WHO PEOPLE ARE. It is not something that can be removed and if it is a strong drive, it cannot be ignored and not acted upon. Now this might be red rag to a bull so you need to take is slowly and AFTER you apologised for your idiotic behaviour. We ALL know why you did it - trying to find some outlet for this insatiable ABDL need through an inappropriate action. Whatever you do, dont try and justify your actions. Just hope that she works it out on her own.
I have emailed a number of wives in your situation and often been frustrated by the inflexibiliity and the readyness to kill a relationship over a unusual but trivial issue like wearing diapers. Yes, it is odd and a bit embarrassing but having experienced a mammoth change in my own hubby after allowing his baby side to be expressed, I try to tell them about the solution that is staring them in the face. But some do actually see the sense of compromising over diaper wearing for the sake of not only saving a relationship but massively improving it. But other don't and I question their motives.
So, start with a genuine apology but dont promise what you cant deliver. We all know that you CANT 'give up ABDL'. It is no different to the flawed idea of 'gay conversion therapy'. You cant alter a person's basic identity. If they are gay, they are always gay. If they are trans, they are always so and have always been so. And ABDL folk have ALWAYS been ABDL.
If she will email me, I will answer her.
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12 hours ago, babypb said:
.....sorry, don't want to get into all this religious stuff, but I felt like I just read a pre-paid advertisement, no offense. I just believe that God is in everyone's heart, just some more than others.
If you are looking for truth then what you 'believe' is immaterial. There are people that earnestly and genuinely believe the earth is flat. Doesnt make them correct. The truth is found in the biblical truth that 'those that seek God genuinely and earnestly, find Him'
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Well adult diapers already outsell baby diapers in Japan and are almost at that point in North America and not far behind in Europe. They area not a 'miniscule' market at all. I suspect the acceptanc of adult diapers is part of the reason but maybe the biggest reason is that they are available at all. When they didnt exist, how you felt about them was immaterial but now that in many countries they are bought in supermarkets, everything is changing.
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5 hours ago, Little Christine said:
Given the weight of history, the most you can say is that it is a fad like hula hoops. People are still people in the 1st or 21st century. People tend to do the same thing in the same circumstances, even at the PERSONAL level. I have also heard of statistics and good, useful and relevant statistics start from the bottom up and you have to have provisions to ensure honesty or at least detect lying. Things do not change overnight and in large populations, thirty years is overnight. Many medical installations and large pharmacy chains still use fax machines, despite the fact that they have been obsolete for 20 years and you have no idea of how many housing authorities still rely soly on printed material despit the fact that the Americans with Disabilities Act is 30 years old and even 85 yearo old granny has email, or how many businesses still use the XP operating system. This sounds like things I have heard before by tiny cult-like groups who want ttheir pet practice to be the majority going thing. Then, when it gets debunked 5 years later, nobody remembers it ever existed because it is so niche. The only thing I ever heard about using excretia in that fashion was over 40 years ago with a convoluted theory of how toddlers use their excrement as a gift but that was in a time of wild theiries most of which did not pan out and I have not heard again for about 37 years
I an not going to waste my time on this. I have better things to do
Maybe you could spend that time recognising that the reason that you dont fit in is that the entire world has moved on and you have not. You are incredibly narrow-minded and dont seem to have learned anything in the last 40 years. You are argumentative over minutia and unable to accept divergent opinions, never mind facts. You are arrogant and absolutely without any good reason for it. Frankly, how dare you deign to define what is and isn't intimacy. Everybody else on planet earth has long ago realised that intimacy is defined by the couple themselves not some out-of-touch moral arbiter stuck in a bygone era.
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8 minutes ago, Little Christine said:
Enough to know REVISIONIST HISTORY when I see it. This kind of thing was discussed in Psychology class in 1976, as well ans int the DPF NL in the 1980's. I guess when you do not know the facts, all you can do is demean those who disagree with you, like Trump
You've heard of the 21st century right? You might want to see how things have CHANGED since then. In your psych class in 76 homosexuality was a DISEASE. Thats changed. almost every science has experienced MASSIVE change in the last 50 years. But not you. You are still stuck in 1947 thinking nothing has changed.
What constitutes intimacy is largely PERSONAL not something you can dictate based on your own narrow, inflexible and out-of-date criteria.
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On 6/3/2020 at 7:54 PM, Little Christine said:
Then, unless we are on Bizarro world, or talking about sime very tiny group, you will have to convince me to disregard what has been understood as the norm quite ouspokenly in fiction and practice for 50+ years, since you were about 10 and later, studied formally. It has been an act of domination since it is depositing waste products on another person and it does fit with the Sissy "lifestyle"
Just wrong and terribly out of date. Do you understand ANYTHING that happened since 1947? You seem incapable of accepting or understanding anythingoutside your own very narrow viewpoint.
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Helping Partners with AB problems
in Our Lifestyle Discussion
Posted
I'm sorry you had difficult time. I deal with quite a number of couples with this kind of problem and what I find is that if the partner is willing to give SOME ground, a workable compromise is possible. The first step is always the hard part and I understand it, but it is still not fair.