Phil Schwartz

Cats can always tell the perfect time to curl up in your lap. You're there on the couch with your book and a soda, and the cat meanders over, purrs up at you, delicately climbs in, and kneads until everything is "just so" in order to stake its place with you, its devoted minion. The cat is happy, you're happy, everything is great. Then you realize you need to go to the bathroom. Happens to everyone, all the time. I'm just tickled over the fact that for me, the bathroom part isn't a problem at all. I love my cat.

Just another data point for "I wear all day every day, I make no special effort to hide it, and nobody notices". At home, at work, at parties, driving, dancing, getting together with friends - I let it have absolutely no affect on my social life whatsoever. Whether wearing jeans, shorts, suit and tie, a tux, and even tights (for a costume - they were opaque black, and yes, a very long shirt was involved), no problem. Usually I wear Depends since they're discrete, but evenings and weekends I go to thicker diapers. I've worn Abena X-Plus to parties under semi-loose shorts. Pullups for laser tag. Molicares when out boating. Really, nobody cares. And, my wife knows I wear all the time. She says she honestly can't tell if I am diapered or not until she pats my rear. Go ahead and do it. Once you've sweated through the first few times, you will come to realize that all those people on this forum were right, then you'll really start to enjoy yourself.

My angle on pooping is a little different. For me, it was always part of avoiding abuse. As a kid, letting go at the right moment might - usually - curb the sexual predator who frequently attacked me. Just as wearing a diaper is a form of protection, using it for its intended purpose is a strength. It's myself when I was a little kid fighting back against an overwhelming force. What do I feel when actually doing the deed? Strength, power, determination, urgency, satisfaction, and pride are all in there somewhere. Wetting or pooping, similar feelings. As like the others, I rarely poop in public and when I do I usually rush home to change. I would poop more at home but I feel as if it is an imposition on my wife to have to deal with the smell. Carrying a load around afterwards is an ironic reminder that I have control over my body - nobody else does. And, no, I have never had interest in having anyone change me. For me, cleanup afterwards has always been part of the 'job well done' feeling. To give that power to someone else would undermine the whole point of having used my diaper in the first place - to stand alone and take my best shot at my attacker. Yes, I know I'm really messed up.

Holy moly! What a thing to live through! In my case, I rarely dreamed (never remembered it, anyway) until just recently, when I told my wife about being abused as a child. As she, my shrink, and I have been working this all through, my dreams have become vivid and numerous. Occasionally I have wound up acting out part of a fight during a dream, and my wife usually wakes me (or I fall out of bed...). Many of my dreams have involved wetting or pooping myself as a defense against my attacker (sexual abuse diverted by taking such action at the right moment). Funny thing, though, is that this part has never escaped my dreaming mind to cause any such occurrence in the real world. Sometimes I wear diapers to bed as a just-in-case, but I feel self-conscious about my diapers with my wife (though she is accepting). As far as I am concerned, dreaming genuinely sucks. I wish I didn't dream. My wife has taught me some about lucid dreaming, and I have been attempting it. Hasn't worked yet, but I'm keeping at it, because if I can control my dreams, then maybe I can just make them go away. I'm saddened to hear about what you have witnessed. I truly hope you can find peace somehow.

Your English is fine, not to worry. It's sure a lot better than my German, French, or Italian! Welcome!

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! Those panties are loaded and they're pointing this way!

Chiming in here to say that within my larger circle of friends, most of the men are as OK with hugging each other as women are. That is to say, there are certain individuals (of whatever gender) who are uncomfortable with it, and the rest just roll right along. So some are uncomfortable with it - that's hardly a character flaw worth worrying about. It's one of the nice things about living around here. People of all stripes are here and the societal expectation is that we all will find ways to get along. It doesn't work perfectly, but it's a lot better than where I grew up, with the standard men-should-be-just-too-manly-for-that sort of attitude.

I wear almost all the time, for emotional need. For me, concentration when wearing is no problem at all. When I'm working on an extended project of some kind it is truly gratifying to just use my diapers and go change when it's more convenient. I wear at work, but there I don't actually use my diapers so they don't make a lot of difference in concentration. Though, sometimes, I notice them or hear them, and it's a comfort and reassurance to know that I'm wearing one. I'm not worried about anyone noticing (both in the sense that it's unlikely anyone would notice as well as in the sense that I just don't really care what they might think) so for me I'm always calmer when I have a diaper on, so I guess that means concentration would be better, too.

Oh, jeez, wearing just a diaper, I look profoundly silly. Even if I were in somewhat better shape, I'd still look like a grown man in a diaper. At least my wife doesn't laugh (I imagine she's got to be giggling on the inside). Then again, the only time she sees me in just a diaper is only for a moment while I'm getting dressed or undressed. Remember, the clothes make the man. In my case, the better the threads, the better I look. Now, I like how it feels to wear just a diaper or a diaper and a T-shirt, presuming it's warm enough to do so. But how I look? That question gave me the best laugh I've had all day. Thanks! "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt..."

Finding someone you can open up to really does give you a big lift, doesn't it? Congrats on being brave enough to share yourself with someone, and I'm truly happy (and a little relieved) that it went so well. Opening up to my wife (and my shrink) were part of revealing to her the abuse I'd been through and carried around forever. She can empathize and understands that diapers are my comfort, my armor, my security blanket. My whole outlook on life has turned upwards since then, though reliving my past to relate it to her can be, well, less than fun. My diapers are a tactile reminder that I deserve to be feel safe, strong, and happy. Good job!

Absofarkinglutely no farking way. You couldn't pay me, you couldn't force me, you couldn't drag me. My childhood was hell. I take the diametrically opposite tack. If I could somehow forget my childhood up to a certain date, I would chose to do so instantly. Sure, I'd lose a few good things - I'd miss my grandparents' entire generation, for example - but for me it would, sadly, be worth it to escape the dark forces of doom and depression.

I grew up in a household where everyone had drank the religion kool-aid. Somehow, I seemed to be immune. I guess that's why I have a Flying Spaghetti Monster emblem on my car...

Thanks, everybody. Oh, and I'm a software engineer who sees the sun more than most, but still not nearly enough. Looking forward to a relaxing week.

Hi, Frogboy. Of the diapers you have listed I have only tried the Abena X-Plus. I have to say, they are a wonderfully thick diaper and can hold an astonishing amount. Truly an all-day diaper, if that's what you're after. I'd be interested to hear how they compare against the others. Have fun!

At long last, I have a little time off coming up. I'll have a week off, and a few days ago I placed an order with XP. Since I won't be at work, I won't have to be as discreet, which means no Depends! I'm really looking forward to a week in Abenas and Molicares. My wife understands that I like my diapers thick when I can have them that way. It will be great to have some down time and I'm really excited. I guess I needed this vacation more than I realized. There's no real point to this post, I just wanted to share.

Well, that explains why the whole thing with this guy seemed oddly familiar. Even though I only de-lurked a few months ago, I've been wandering these boards for a few years. Thanks for doing the legwork (or fingerwork, as the case may be). Thanks also to DD for confirming through the IP address. It does make you wonder just what he is hoping to accomplish with all this. Oh, well. Some people collect stamps as a hobby, some people play games as a hobby, and some people troll message boards as a hobby, I guess.

I, too, am always on the lookout. Over the years I've spotted just a few which I was sure of, and a few more which were possibilities. Most of them were women, middle age and older. A few men, mostly elderly. And, yes, it is darn hard to tell sometimes. I wear all the time and have realized that the corollary to being the only diaper wearer around is that nobody else realizes you even exist, so they take no notice at all. I swear sometimes I'd have to wear multiple layers and waddle like a duck before anyone might even give me a second glance. Keep your eyes open!

You sure can. I consider myself 'just' a DL. Diapers give me comfort and confidence. Ageplay does nothing for me. That's just one data point, of course. I'd bet that no two people here fall in exactly the same place on the AB vs DL spectrum. Considering the sheer variety in both being an adult diaper wearer and also in ageplay, there's a lot of ground to cover. But heck, if the interest in some parts of being an AB came to me, I'd try it out.

I occasionally work from home. (I'd like to do so more often!) Since I wear all day every day, I of course wear while working at home. Now, at home I wear Abenas or Molicares because they feel wonderful, but while I'm at the office I wear Depends since they're a lot more discreet.

May I suggest that you simply put on a pair of panties over your diaper? If someone does happen to see a flash, they won't be sure what they're seeing. Have fun!

The OP's post reminded me of why I'm so glad I moved long, long ago. Grew up in a not-so-small town in the Flyover States. The bigotry wasn't quite as intense as in the OP's town, but it was certainly palpable. Everybody knew who the family that didn't go to church was. Everybody knew where the Jewish families lived. Everyone was caucasian. Nobody had a foreign accent. On the whole and in public, people were generally congenial. In private, it was a whole different story. Racist jokes, anti-semitic remarks, blonde jokes, your standard "aren't those foreigners stupid" conversations were par for the course. Heck, there was a whole genre of "woman driver" remarks and attitudes. Even though everyone strove to be as homogeneous as possible, this just meant that people would use even less important things to divide each other in order to feel superior - height, hair color, weight, age, favorite ice cream flavor, choice of sports team, kind of car, etc. I wouldn't say it was the religion in particular that led to this, rather that the religion was compatible with it. It fit well with a xenophobic, small-minded society. Each reinforced the other. Now I happen to be in Northern California, where society is about as open minded as it gets. We still get the street preachers and door-to-door witnesses, and even the Reverend Phelps paid our state a visit recently, probably because finding people who are "different" here is like shooting fish in a barrel. On the whole, the great majority are live-and-let-live, going so far as to interfere when bigotry starts to rear its ugly head. The Christians here are generally a tolerant bunch. All of the other religious groups are confidently visible. This environment comes from people's true attitudes - it's not just a show of congeniality, like in my hometown. Someone here mentioned that fear drives intolerance, and that ignorance drives fear. I couldn't agree more.

Most of the baby showers happening for my generation were this way as well. I have actually attended very few of them. Now that the next generation is having kids, the invitations go to a wider group and it seems that the gender expectations have widened as well. The father-to-be (first time for him) had a good time. He has only a limited amount of time to finish remodeling the baby's room and the adjoining bath. After the shower, he went right back to work at it. If we had instead taken him off drinking, who knows what angles the walls might have taken...

(Even though I'm not an AB ("just" a DL), I thought I'd share this experience for the benefit of everyone here.) Ok, so this was a new one on me. Over the weekend, I attended a baby shower for a relative. I haven't been to a lot of these, despite my family and friends being astonishingly fertile. There were many things that you would expect. Baby themed everything, a congratulatory cake (not a cake wreck - I checked), and several silly baby-themed games. For instance, there was a chugging contest, in which each person had to drink a full baby bottle of apple juice, using the nipple in the usual manner. Nearly a dozen women (and a few men, including the father-to-be) battled away at that one, nursing for all they were worth. The winner had to rinse apple juice out of her cleavage, which just added to the festivities, but I digress. One game that struck me as particularly odd was the diaper challenge. The idea was this: There were 15 or so numbered baby diapers, each with some portion of a candy bar crushed and melted in the bottom, then the diaper squeezed closed around it. The winner was the person who could correctly identify the greatest number of candy bars just by looking at the contents of each diaper. I had never heard of that one before. Most people joined in, some in teams of two, while a few of us (myself included) either sat it out or started to participate, only to drop out almost immediately. Initially I thought it might be rather fun, but once at it, I found that opening baby diapers and closely examining the contents was decidedly not my cup of tea. So I bailed, though I helped out my wife as she would describe ingredients and I'd try to come up with the correct candy bar. No, we didn't win, and come to think of it, I never did find out what happened to the rest of those candy bars. I'm sure others have seen some, shall we say, interesting games and activities at baby showers. What have you seen?

Whether the woman was initially consenting then changed her mind, or whether she was truly deceived is irrelevant. What matters is that this story is out there, and John Q. Public is going to presume malice. The presentation is one of "pervert deceives local woman", and we all know how that plays out in the general psyche. Sure, maybe there's a silver lining in reaching people who might be isolated ABs/mommies/daddies, but overall this is another "Hey! Look at the weirdo!" story. So put me in with the "Oh, great. Just what we need" group. Grumble grumble grumble... Maybe I ought to just go swap these Depends for a thick Abena and take a walk to clear my mind.

As far as the noise the Bambinos make, heck, you won't be able to hear them at all in the bar. You could be wearing double starched rubber covers over bambinos with no pants on and carrying a rattle and a busybox, and nobody would hear anything over the typical din. (Though the busybox might garner some attention...) Even pool-only places I've been to have a jukebox going. If noise is your worry, use a Molicare or an Abena AirPlus (with underwear - the tapes don't hold too well to the non-plastic outer shell). I've shot pool in my diapers (how the pool table fit in my diapers I'll never know). Either a large/long shirt or a tucked-in shirt will cover just fine. Or, if the two-shirts look is for you, tuck in your t-shirt and leave your outer shirt loose - best of both worlds. So, go do it. If you diaper gets full, just toss it. If you really feel the need for another, go out to your car and put one on in the back seat - just park in an out-of-the-way place. A little planning can lead to a lot of fun.